To say that they've won the war didn't really sit quite right to any of them. To say that they gained nothing wasn't right either. If anything, the Eldians, they had gained the most the moment the titan curse was lifted.

But at what cost?

When the adrenaline rush of what had happened were finally gone, no one could muster the strength to stand up or utter any word about it. All they wanted was to go home.

However, is there even any place left where they can call home? It used to be the Survey Corps' headquarters but are they even allowed to go back to that building? All sort of memories were made there, the meetings, the arguments, the happy times etc.

Three years of training. Four years of fighting for humanity. Now that it's finally over, what are they supposed to feel?

Armin looked at everyone in the ship which they got on before their flight earlier. Before the fight, stopping Eren... Before Hanji's sacrifice.

At that thought, Armin's gaze shifted to Captain Levi who was sitting alone by a corner. The look of anguish and pain was one that the blonde had never seen before. Levi had went through so many battles and had lost so much. However, during all those times, Hanji was with him and now that even Hanji is gone, the Captain seems a lot more lonely than before.

"Will you stop staring at me already, Armin?" Levi's voice echoed in the quiet compartment, startling Armin out from his thoughts.

"I—" Armin spluttered a little. "I'm sorry..."

That wasn't what Armin wanted to say but before his brain could even process the words he wanted to say, he blurted out an apology.

"What are you sorry for?" Levi was still as blunt as ever and Armin took that as a signal for him to walk closer to him.

Despite all the battles they've went through together, despite all the meetings, despite how the six of them felt the fatherly and motherly love from Levi and Hanji, Armin was still a little scared of his Captain. However, he also knew that he couldn't leave Levi alone. Gathering all his courage, Armin sat down beside Levi.

There was still a huge gap between them but enough for Armin to give his comfort.

Or at least he hoped.

Armin did not answer Levi's question and silence took over. He knew that a conversation wasn't going to help much and he had intended to just silently comfort the older man. That's why, when Levi was the one to break the ice, Armin knew that the man was broken.

"That four eyes, titan obsessed abnormal..." Levi started off quietly. "I should have known she would pull something stupid like this. She wanted to give up but I stopped her. She risked her life to save this me, someone who can't even fight anymore. Who am I to tell her that she's not the kind to give up when I couldn't even protect her?"

Armin said nothing and just listened. It's not a secret that Levi and Hanji had a relationship so solid that no words were needed to be exchanged. It was once a gossip among the six of them and there was even a time when they joked about holding a wedding for them once everything is over.

But now, Armin could only smile bitterly at that memory as he listened to Levi's rambles.

"I saw her... and the rest of the soldiers we lost. Erwin, Moblit, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Erd, Mike... I saw all of them. They looked proud of us but her, before she faded away, I saw her expression and at that instant, I regretted. For the first time in my life, I made a choice I regret so much. We should have just stayed in the forest..."

Levi trailed off and again, silence took over. Armin was speechless; he knew Levi was broken but he didn't expect him to be so broken that it seems like a piece of him died too.

Maybe it did. Maybe a part of Levi died along with Hanji. And Armin had no idea if Levi would ever be whole again.

Eren's actions might have lifted the curse but there's no deny that it's a sinful decision which caused too many sacrifices. Thinking about Eren is painful and Armin wonders how Mikasa is coping alone.

"How was Mikasa?" Levi chose that time to ask him this question. "You were the last one to see her, right?"

"I don't know, Captain.." Armin's voice quivered. "I let her bring Eren's body," head, Armin mentally corrected himself, "back home alone. Now I wonder if I did the right thing by staying to appease the Marleyeans."

"Mikasa would have wanted you to do that. Hanji too, she appointed you as the next commander after all."

Armin did not missed how Levi's voice broke a little when he said Hanji's name. It was the first time in their conversation that Levi had mentioned her name. That was a cue for Armin to really leave Levi alone. Knowing Levi, Armin knew that if he stayed here, Levi wouldn't be comfortable enough to mourn for her. So Armin stood up and gave his Captain another sad look.

"I am very sorry." Armin whispered but loud enough for Levi to hear. "I have no idea why but I am sorry, Captain."

Maybe he's sorry that he couldn't come up with a plan that could have prevented Hanji's sacrifice. Maybe he's sorry that they lost another good commander because of him. Maybe he's sorry that Levi had chosen to revive him but in return, he couldn't do anything to help.

And maybe, it's all of the reasons he just thought of.

Armin closed the door behind him and stepped out to the ship deck. Just a day before, he had that conversation with Annie, a confession which he did because he was planning to give it his all even if it meant dying. To be honest, he wasn't expecting himself to come out of this alive.

He stared at the vast ocean, it looks a little more peaceful now without the colossal titans. He looked up when the birds flew above him. That was when he spotted a figure crouching against the railing.

Jean.

It suddenly occurred to Armin that he hasn't seen the other guy since they'd board the ship. He had assumed that he's resting in one of the compartments. But now that he thinks about it, it's a ridiculous thought.

Who in the world would be able to rest after all these?

Armin hesitated a little before he decided to walk up to his good friend, his comrade who he fought side by side since they first joined the Survey Corps. He knew he's not someone who should mind what others are doing or feeling but just like when he saw Levi earlier, Armin knew that Jean needed comfort.

He remembered Connie's breakdown after everything, saying they saw Sasha and how bright her smile was. Just like how they all remembered her. Jean was by his side, comforting him. He had always been comforting him ever since Sasha's death.

On the airship that particular day; at the funeral; when Connie had a nightmare and now, after everything.

Not even once did Armin ever saw Jean cried,

But as Armin walked closer, he noticed the tears in his eyes and the pain on his face. Sensing his approach, Jean blinked back his tears and stood up, looking away as he stared blankly at the ocean.

"Hey Armin." Jean was the one who greeted first.

"Why are you trying to hide?" Armin asked softly, his gaze on the blue sea too. As if telling Jean that 'it's okay, I'm not going to watch you.'

"I'm not."

Same old stubborn Jean.

"You know, I realised I've not seen you cried." Armin stated. "Not even when Sasha..." Armin swallowed, talking about Sasha was still a painful topic. "Not even when she died."

From the corner of his eyes, Armin saw Jean's body froze as he tightened his grip on the railing.

"No matter how strong someone is, there is bound to have a breaking point so why, why do you have to hide your pain from us?"

"You think I don't want to?" Jean muttered, his voice turning cold suddenly. "I wanted to cry it all out when Sasha died. I thought I would but you know what? They just wouldn't come out! I had nightmares every night since then, I dreamt of her every fucking night but still, I couldn't! Each time the tears come, they were gone when I thought of her. Connie needed me and..." Jean's outburst quietened down.

"And I know she hates it when I cry."

Jean had used present tense, talking as if Sasha's still with them. Armin finally turned to look at Jean who had his body bowed, head bowed low and his two hands stretched out but still gripping on the railings tightly. Upon watching him, Armin's eyes widened at the sudden realisation.

The expression on Jean's face was familiar, he had saw it on Mikasa's face, Levi's face and now, Jean. This wasn't a friend grieving for another. It's not like how Jean grieved for Marco. This was a man still in denial and grieving for the loss of a woman.

A woman he loved.

"How..? When?" That probably was the most untactful thing to ask at that moment but that was what first came out from Armin's mouth which he cursed inwardly at himself.

"It doesn't matter now, right?" Jean let out a bitter laugh. "No one knew except her, not even Connie. We were going to at least tell him after Marley but after that happened… I was planning to keep this a secret into my grave."

Armin almost hated himself for not sensing anything nor any of the burden and pain Jean had been feeling all these while. Jean and Sasha hid it so well that everyone was fooled that the ones in most pain are Sasha's family, Connie and Niccolo.

No one had even wondered how Jean was feeling. They knew he was affected and distress by Sasha's death but it was until now that Armin knew how much more in pain Jean must had felt.

"You heard from Connie…" Jean continued, straightening his body again. "We both saw her, she was smiling so brightly and that brought me back to when we were still trainees. That Potato Girl we all know but one thing that was different was the pride in her smile. She was proud of us and that's why, I'm going to continue fighting. It might be a different way now but Armin, we are going to continue fighting."

Jean stood back from the railings and gave Armin a determined look but a small smile formed on his lips after.

"Commander, I will be waiting for your orders soon."

"I—"

"I'm going back to check on Connie." Jean interrupted him and before Armin could even say any words, Jean had turned away.

Commander huh?

Armin sighed and looked out at the sea again. Do they even need a commander now? Does he even deserve this position?

"Armin." Another voice brought him back from his thoughts. He'd been doing that a lot that day.

"Annie." He greeted back softly. After that conversation, he should be embarrassed to even face her but for some reason, he wasn't. He had too many things in his mind to even think about what would happen to the two of them from now on.

"You did well." Just like how Annie used to be, her sentence was short but the message went through. "And I will be following your orders now too."

Armin's head turned swiftly to look at the girl.

"You were listening?" Armin asked in a quiet tone.

"Only the part where Jean said he will continue to fight."

"But what about your father?"

"I got onto this ship, didn't I?" A rare smile formed on Annie's face, even though Armin could feel the sadness in it. "In order for him to live peacefully in Marley, something needs to be done."

Armin listened but did not say anything; Annie did not push it either.

"Do you really trust me?" Armin finally uttered out after a short moment of silence. "What if I'm not capable enough to help the Eldians?"

"You are." Annie affirmed. "You had saved them all many times. From the time when you realised I'm the Female Titan, you've been doing it. I had always been listening when I was in the crystal. You will do fine and..."

Annie hesitated but she continued, her tone a lot more softer now.

"I will be here." An awkward cough came right after. "We all will."

Armin finally felt the embarrassment he thought would had come earlier.

"Thank you."

Levi was hard to write but I thought it might be the way he cope with his pain. Like how after his first squad got killed, Eren mentioned that he's talking more than usual. As for Jean, I just want to write about Jeansasha, the last chapter scene hit me right in the feels and I can't get that out of my head.

This will be a short series of one shots to fill in the three years gap.