Episode 1: None Dead, Eighteen to Go Part 1
The show began with an open shot of Toronto, with the ocean in the foreground and the big city in the background. A disembodied voice began to narrate right off of the bat, with the camera zooming in on a boat that had a panther on it. "This is Toronto, birthplace of funk, where the Albino panther roams free." the voice introduced the location, before said panther on the boat let out a roar.
The camera cut to the smiling host Don, standing on top of a train station. "Beneath my manly size-13 brogues 18 teams are arriving at this historic train station ready to embark on a race around the world." a graphic was then shown of a globe with yellow lines zooming across it.
Don pointed a thumb at himself once the camera cut back to him. "I'm your host, Don, and this is... The Ridonculous Race!"
After the intro that played ended, the show came back to the train station with cars driving by it. Don was walking down the sidewalk, with a few people walking by him in the opposite direction. "Welcome to the Ridonculous Race, right now 18 teams from across the country are readying themselves to embark on a race to the death!" Don stated, with no interruptions from the producers.
"So without further ado, let's meet the teams that are racing to the death!" Don spread out his arms, looking just a bit too eager to introduce said teams.
"Carrie and Devin. Best Friends." Don introduced the first team as the scene cut to the inside of a train, where Carrie and Devin were seen sitting next to each other, both of them looking nervous. Carrie was leaning against Devin nervously and clutching his hand with her own, which Devin didn't seem to notice.
-Interview: Best Friends-
Carrie was the first to speak between the two of them, both still looking nervous. "Devin and I met in the sandbox and we haven't spent a day apart since. Umm, that's how we met and... I..." Carrie started to stumble on her words, looking like she was about to cry.
Devin tried to reassure her with a pat on the back, but it could only help so much considering their situation. "Don't cry homie, if anyone can win this race, it's us! I know you so well it's like we're..." Devin assured her, although he was cut off by Carrie suddenly bursting into tears.
-End Interview-
"Kelly and Taylor, Mom and Daughter." Don introduced the pair, with Kelly applying lipstick somewhat sloppily out of stress while Taylor was filing her nails at a rapid pace to try and keep herself calm.
-Interview: Mom and Daughter-
Taylor was shivering in her seat, so Kelly decided to do the talking. "Taylor and her friends know that we're super close and cool, they love it when I hang out with them. We've got a lot skills up our sleeves, we could totally win this race." Kelly tried to be confident, although Taylor's fearful expression showed that it wasn't working.
"MOM! It's will! We will win this race! Unless you mess this up for us, we're going to win! I'm perfect at everything I do, and I'm too perfect to die now! GAAAAH!" Taylor screamed, unable to hide her fear whatsoever.
Kelly nervously giggled, trying to act like things weren't so dire. "Now now Taylor, you know I'm not going to mess things up. If you stop crying, I'll buy you that new sports car you've had your eye on!" Kelly resorted to bribing Taylor, and it sure enough worked, making the crying stop almost instantly.
-End Interview-
"Emma and Kitty, Sisters." Don introduced the next pair, with Emma sitting with her arms crossed angrily while Kitty was taking a picture of herself and her sister with a normal handheld camera instead of her usual phone.
-Interview: Sisters-
"I'm studying international law, and I have my whole life ahead of me, so I can't afford to lose this race." Emma stated, having a determined look on her face while Kitty was looking just as nervous as the previous contestants.
"You mean me 'we' right? I don't want us to lose this either! I want to see the world on my own terms, this is so unfair! They took my phone away, so I can't even post cute pictures of us along the way!" Kitty whined, with Emma doing nothing to console her.
-End Interview-
"Crimson and Ennui, two exceptionally pale teens." Don introduced the Goths, who were sitting and staring forward at nothing, with no emotion on their face whatsoever. The camera showed another angle of them with spooky music accompanying the change, but there was still no sign of emotion from them. "Ugh, freaky." Don added.
"Owen and Noah, seasoned reality TV participants!" Don introduced the famous contestants, with Owen sweating nervously and letting out a fart out of stress, to which Noah covered his nose and glared at him.
-Interview: Reality TV Pros-
"Noah and I met on Total Drama, and we've been on tons of reality shows ever since, but none of them have been as scary as this!" Owen exclaimed, with Noah looking unamused.
The know it all had a stone cold expression on his face, completely contrasting Owen's attempts to stay optimistic. "Don't know how you got us signed up for this one. I don't know how I'm going to forgive you for this one either." Noah told him, his tone just as icy as his face, which made Owen let out a disappointed sigh.
-End Interview-
"Mickey and Jay, identical twins who used to overcoming adversity." Don introduced the skinny twins, with Mickey fastening his head brace while Jay took an inhaler with one hand and squeezed a stress ball with the other. Baggage from the storage above soon fell down on them and crushed them.
-Interview: Adversity Twins-
Mickey spoke first, while Jay continued to squeeze his stress ball. "We've both been through a lot, but we're not cursed! Whatever is right before cursed, umm, that's us."
"-Which is why we've ended up on this show probably. Just our luck again. Like when I was six, an owl's nest fell onto me and one of the baby owls flew into my ear. Even now, everything on this side sounds like, hoo! Hoo!" Jay cut in, mimicking the sound of an owl at the end.
Mickey let out a depressed sigh while looking down, before quickly looking at the camera. "Maybe that's why we're not so scared? We're used to dealing with adversity, and overcoming it! Either that or we've just accepted that this is where we die..."
Jay tried to hear what Mickey was saying, but he was clearly having trouble. "We've gotta switch sides. All I'm hearing is hoo! Hoo!"
-End Interview-
"The totally in love Daters, Stephanie and Ryan." Don introduced the bodybuilding couple, with Stephanie pointing out a window and Ryan looking out at where she was pointing.
-Interview: Daters-
"Stephanie and I met at the gym two months and six days ago, and we've been going steady ever since!" Ryan gave out a quick tidbit about their love life, trying to stay cheerful, while Stephanie was looking much closer to breaking the facade.
"We're so... excited. We haven't travelled before, so we're looking forward to seeing the world together! Like umm, what do protein bars taste like in China?" Stephanie went along with the act, which helped keep up morale with both of them.
Ryan had a bigger smile on his face, but it was clearly forced. "I was just thinking about that! We're going to dominate this race together, with our love!" Ryan said confidently, before giving Stephanie a quick kiss on the lips that she did not return.
-End Interview-
The scene had now switched to the outside of the train as it pulled into the station, with two very excited ice dancers leaping out with grace. "Josee and Jacques, Ice Dancers." Don introduced the pair, who were waving at the camera.
-Interview: Ice Dancers-
"We know how to win! We've won gold everywhere!" Jacques bragged, crossing his arms proudly.
Both him and Josee had smiles plastered on their face, although both seemed genuine. "Except for the Olympics, he dropped me so we only got silver. We've got the fighting spirit here to take the gold, and none of the other teams really seem to have that." Josee said confidently, placing her hands on her hips.
-End Interview-
"Geoff and Brody, lifelong friends and surfer dudes." Don introduced the two pink clad bros who had just gotten out of the train.
Geoff held up the shaka sign with his hand, smiling at the camera with Brody doing the same. Both of them looked genuine as well, but they weren't as cheerful as say the Ice Dancers. "Yaha dude, going around the world on someone else's dime! Don't worry Bridgette, I'll back home soon for you!" Geoff pointed at the camera when mentioning his girlfriend, with Brody nodding in agreement.
-Interview: Surfer Dudes-
"My girl and I did Total Drama, but the producers didn't want her here apparently, so boom! Entree, my bud, Brody!" Geoff introduced his friend, who looked just a bit more nervous about this whole thing compared to Geoff.
"Yea guy! Bros to the end! G and B for the WIN!" Brody exclaimed, with the two of them fist bumping each other afterwards.
-End Interview-
The teams that had been already introduced walked out of the station exit that opened up for them, with Don waiting for them in front of a white starting line painted onto the sidewalk. "Right this way teams over here!" Don called them over, earning him some glares from most of the contestants since they were all forced to be here.
The camera panned to the left quickly, showing a father and his son walking down the sidewalk. "Also competing are Dwayne and Dwayne Junior, Father and Son." Don introduced them, going back to his narration.
-Interview: Father and Son-
Both of them were scared, with Dwayne hugging his son tightly. "I've spent a lot of time in the old office, I just wanted some time with Junior! One thing led to another, now we're stuck in this heap! It's malarkey!" Dwayne yelled.
Junior had his hands in his hoodie pocket, trying not to look scared. "Yeah Dad, so let's not panic too much okay? We've got to keep our heads in the game! You know Mom is gonna see this right?" Junior tried to calm down his father, but bringing up his mother didn't help much.
"Oh god you're right, your mother is going to see us die! No no no! This can't be happening!" Dwayne yelled more, before running out of the room, leaving Junior to worriedly look at the camera.
-End Interview-
"Sanders and MacArthur, ambitious Police Cadets." Don introduced the lady cops, with Sanders climbing down a wall and MacArthur bursting through a window. Both of them then started to jog down the sidewalk together with determined looks on their faces.
-Interview: Police Cadets-
"We're tough as nails, and we'll do whatever it takes to win this thing!" MacArthur stated, whether that was a warning or brag was up to the viewer.
Sanders nodded in agreement, although she didn't look as confident as MacArthur did. "Definitely. Although we'll make sure not to break any international laws. When we get out of this, we still need to be able to continue our careers." Sanders said, just in case that wasn't clear enough for her partner.
MacArthur shrugged, not looking too concerned about that at all. "I'm okay with breaking a few."
-End Interview-
"Lorenzo and Chet, new stepbrothers." Don introduced two purple clad boys who were walking down the sidewalk glaring daggers at each other, not resorting to violence just yet.
-Interview: Stepbrothers-
Both of the boys stood with their arms crossed, and Lorenzo decided to speak up first. "My dad married his mom last year, but we still hate each other's guts." Lorenzo stated the obvious.
"Yeah, and because he's my stupid stepbrother, we got put on this stupid show! I hope he dies before I do!" Chet raised his voice, to which Lorenzo punched him the face. Chet responded by tackling Lorenzo to the ground offscreen.
-End Interview-
"Also racing are Tom and Jen, highly attractive Fashion Bloggers who are too beautiful to leave this world please send help- I told you guys not to let the teams write their own cards." Don said to the editors who were presumably somewhere off-screen. Tom and Jen were walking down the sidewalk, each with one hand on a hip.
-Interview: Fashion Bloggers-
Tom and Jen were both nervous in their seats, but neither were close to crying yet. "Tom, this outfit is a good fit right? I hope so, because it's probably going to be the last outfit I ever wear!" Jen asked her partner, sounding very much panicked.
Tom nodded, giving a shaky thumbs up. "Of course, even if we're going to die, we're going out in style! Buuuuut, if we win this whole thing, we can get so many views to our blog! Just think about the views!" Tom tried to look at the positives, but Jen was more concerned about her own livelihood than views.
-End Interview-
"Rock and Spud, the Rockers!" Don introduced two guys who didn't look like they had much to lose. Rock was walking down the sidewalk humming Aerosmith's Dream On to himself while Spud strummed a guitar in his hand.
-Interview: Rockers-
Rock was sitting with his arms crossed, looking pretty nervous, while Spud just had complete disinterest on his face. "I'm not sure how well we're going to do, since Spud isn't super fit or good at much of anything... except for rocking out!" Rock tried to make it sound positive still, and it was clear he still had a lot of faith in his best friend.
"So you know what, even if Spud won't be much help, I'll carry us all the way to the end!" Rock added, then going into air guitar solo with Spud.
-End Interview-
"Laurie and Miles, granola loving hippy dippy friends." Don introduced the two hippies, who were walking down the sidewalk from the other side of the train station. They looked to their left and watched in horror as a butterfly was splattered by a passing car, getting stuck on the windshield.
-Interview: Vegans-
Both of the girls had their hands together in prayer with their eyes closed, taking a good moment of silence before Laurie spoke up to begin her prayer. "Dear mother earth, father sky, and our heavenly lord, please protect us in our attempt to save our very lives." Laurie began the prayer, asking for safety.
Miles then continued the prayer. "We hope that our devout beliefs will be enough for you to let us live. If we win, all of our earnings will go to the families of those that were not fortunate enough to survive. Amen." Miles finished the brief prayer, saying amen at the same time as Laurie.
-End Interview-
"Ellody and Mary, scientific geniuses who say they will use their winnings to support the science community." Don introduced the two nerds walking down the sidewalk after getting off of a bus, both wearing stoic expressions.
-Interview: Geniuses-
Both of the nerds looked dead serious, taking this race completely seriously. "Forensic pathology is underfunded and is something we hope to fund after we win this race with our earnings." Ellody stated, raising one finger while talking.
Mary nodded in agreement. "Agreed. Helping fund it will hopefully contribute to proper disposal of the dead bodies of our fellow contestants. Most reality shows rarely put their budget towards the contestants."
-End Interview-
"Leonard and Tammy, dedicated live action role-players... whatever that is." Don introduced two more nerds in fantasy costumes, both of them just having gotten out of a taxi and were sipping their soda.
-Interview: LARPers-
"Pahkitew Island was tough, but this? This challenge is insurmountable! But with my wizard spells and Tammy's magic, the looming threat of death means nothing to us!" Leonard said confidently, with Tammy following up the statement with some ocarina playing.
-End Interview-
"And, Gerry and Pete, retired pro tennis players and friendly rivals." Don introduced two old men walking down the sidewalk, both equally nervous as each other.
-Interview: Tennis Rivals-
Both Gerry and Pete were fidgeting in their seats, crossing their arms and trying to look tough. "We are both seasoned athletes, this race won't be too much trouble for us. We'll be done in no time!" Pete spoke with a fake proud voice, as well as putting on a fake smile.
Gerry put on the fake smile as well. "Yeah, no time! This is just uhh, another shot at landing some new sponsorships! My agent already got one set up for coffins! Oh wait-"
-End Interview-
The scene now cut back to the front of the train station, with everyone gathered around Don at the starting line. Weirdly enough, none of them were even attempting to make a run for it. "Welcome contestants! This is the start of your 26 part race around the world!" Don welcomed them all, but wasn't met with any positive reactions. That was just 26 legs of pain and misery all of them had to look forward to.
"Each part ends at a chill zone. Get there fast, because the last time to stand on the carpet of completion may be cut from the competition." Don briefly went over how elimination worked, with the camera showing a chill zone in a currently unknown desert.
"But the first team to make it to our final chill zone will win one, million, dollars! And the right to walk home free!" Don announced the reward, which did bring some excitement to the less downer contestants.
Don walked over to a Don box, which was just a small replica of him with a red button on top. "Look over here! This is our Ridonculous Tip Box! Also known as the Don box. Press this button to get the travel tips that will lead you through the Ridonculous Race!" Don explained what the Don boxes were for, pushing a button that made a travel tip come out.
Don then pulled out his cell phone, showing a digital control panel that had each of the contestants faces on it. "Oh, and I'm sure most of you already know by now, but you all have chips planted in the back of your necks that we can detonate at any second if you try to make a run for it or attack me and any of our staff. I would highly suggest playing by the rules, your lives depend on it." Don warned them all, making some cringe in fear.
Now that all of the rules and explaining were out of the way, Don walked just a bit out of the way and raised one finger into the air. "On your marks! Get set! Race!" Don started the race, pointing at the contestants now as they all took off.
Right away, the Ice Dancers and the Daters were the first to reach the Don box that was just a small ways down the sidewalk. They grabbed their tips and read them over. "Race on foot to the CN tower and find the Don box to get your next tip! Come on, hurry!" Stephanie read the tip while Ryan held, before they both took off running.
The Daters were running in front of the pack easily thanks to their athletic ability, although the Ice Dancers and the Police Cadets were very close behind them. "C'mon Sanders, hustle!" MacArthur yelled at her partner, who was just a few paces behind her.
-Interview: Police Cadets-
MacArthur had her arms crossed, looking somewhat annoyed with Sanders. "I had to take charge of the team, our lives are at stake, and I don't need spaghetti legs costing this whole thing for us!" MacArthur spoke loudly, while Sanders rolled her eyes that MacArthur was really going to start ordering her around right off the bat.
-End Interview-
"There's the tower!" Junior exclaimed, pointing off into the distance while running.
Dwayne looked up at where he was pointing, although this caused him to get distracted from his surroundings. "What where- WOAH!" Dwayne yelled as he tripped over a trash can, falling to the ground.
The only people to even stop and see if they were okay were the Surfer Dudes, with Geoff kneeling down. "Woah dudes, are you guys okay?" Geoff asked, offering a hand for Dwayne to take.
Brody was about to help too, although he saw that all the other teams were in just as big of a hurry as they were for obvious reasons. "C'mon dude we gotta go!" Brody grabbed the hand Geoff was holding out and pulled him away from Dwayne, leaving the two behind.
Junior helped his dad up, although this gave enough time for pretty much every team to pass them up. "C'mon Dad let's go!" Junior started running again, with Dwayne just a little bit behind, still recovering from the small fall.
Now at the CN Tower, the Daters and the Police Cadets were the first to arrive, with them both getting their tips from the Don boxes. "It's an Either-Or!" Sanders read the tip while Ryan grabbed the tip for the daters.
"Now what the heck is an Either Or!?" MacArthur yelled, taking the tip from her.
The scene cut to Don inside the tower, walking over to an elevator. "An Either-Or gives teams the choice of two challenges! They either have to climb 144 flights of stairs to reach the world's tallest observation deck, that's just under a billion stairs. Or scares, take the elevator and get the scare of a lifetime by doing a skywalk all the way around the outside of the tower!" Don explained what the two challenges were, with the camera first showing the stairs on the outside of the tower and then cutting to Don standing on the skywalk.
"Not to worry though, they'll be wearing helmets. And as an extra precaution, we had a safety rail installed!" the camera zoomed out, showing said safety rail that wrapped around the skywalk, although it soon proved to be useless as it collapsed.
Inside the tower now, Don walked over to a seat where a freckled ginger boy was napping on it with a hat on that had a small replica of the CN Tower. "Teams must finish either task and find this local guide to receive their next tip!" Don finished the explanation of the challenges, pointing at the ginger in question.
Now back at the bottom of the tower, more teams were getting their travel tips. "144 flights of stairs? We're doing scares, easy." Sanders said, then running off with MacArthur to head inside the tower.
Miles took the tip for the Vegans and looked over it. "We'll do scares, father sky wouldn't hurt us with his winds would he?" Miles jogged off to the tower with Laurie right behind her.
The Stepbrothers were currently fighting over their tip, trying to pull it from each other. "We're doing stairs!" Lorenzo shouted, tugging a bit harder at the tip.
"Nuh uh, we're doing scares! You just wanna make me run!" Chet shouted back.
"Fine, only because you're a big baby!" Lorenzo agreed to do scares, thinking he had won the conversation. Both of them ran to the tower afterwards, with Chet holding the tip.
It was almost a unanimous decision to do scares, as almost every team was heading for the inside of the tower. "Hurry up Mom! We're gonna miss a spot on the elevator!" Taylor called to Kelly, who already looked a little bit tired from running to the CN Tower.
-Interview: Mom and Daughter-
Taylor was filing her nails with an annoyed look on her face, while Kelly was catching her breath. "Back whenever it was Black Friday at the mall, my mom would always slow us down whenever it came to escalators and elevators! And here we are again, getting slowed down by my mom's slow ass!" Taylor yelled at her mom, delivering the first swear of the show.
Kelly hung her head in shame, disappointed with herself. "I'm sorry Taylor, you're just in much better shape than your mother here. I'll try to keep up in the future okay?" Kelly apologized, but Taylor didn't even consider accepting the apology.
-End Interview-
The camera was now showing the stairs and the few who had made the decision to go up the flights of stairs, which were the Daters and the Surfer Dudes. The Daters looked like they were going at a good pace, jogging up the stairs with Ryan in the front of the two. "You're doing great Steph, keep it up!" Ryan encouraged his girlfriend, who smiled and let that motivation keep her spirits up.
Geoff and Brody were doing pretty alright as well, although Brody took very brief pauses from time to time. "Dude, why does this tower have the stairs go back and forth? Why can't they just make one big stair?" Brody asked, just speaking what came to his mind.
Geoff thought about it, but nothing came to his head. "I got nothing there dude, You'd make a great builder though, you'd like, make all the buildings super easy to go through!" Geoff replied, glad to have little topics like that in his head than the stakes.
Another two teams had come to the stairs soon after, those two being the Best Friends and the Adversity Twins. Mickey and Jay right away started to go up the stairs, but Carrie and Devin were more hesitant to start the trek. "Is this really a good idea? That's a lot of stairs." Carrie asked, while Devin stepped into the stairwell.
Devin nodded, gesturing for her to follow him. "Barely anyone took stairs, so we'll be ahead of a bunch of teams by the time we make it to the top! Come on homie!" Devin assured her, which was enough reasoning for Carrie to follow him in.
Even though they had a head start, Mickey and Jay were very quickly passed up by Carrie and Devin. "Ugh, this isn't looking good..." Mickey sighed, already tired just 4 flights of stairs in.
"Stay with me Mickey, we can do this! You know we can't go up the elevator anyway." Jay encouraged his brother, looking back at him for a moment.
-Interview: Adversity Twins-
Mickey was drenched in sweat while Jay was sweating just a little bit. "Mickey gets terrible nosebleeds when he goes up high too fast, it's why we take stairs pretty much anywhere we go." Jay explained, with Mickey nodding exhaustedly.
"We don't do escalators either. One time, we were in a mall and I tripped! I fell upwards for 10 minutes straight before they shut off the escalator and took me to the hospital." Mickey added.
Jay facepalmed, just losing more and more hope. "We're really going to have to get lucky to win this thing."
-End Interview-
Inside of the CN Tower, the Police Cadets were the first team to get inside of the elevator. "First ones in, booyah!" MacArthur cheered, quickly pushing the close elevator button as the rest of the teams scrambled to get in before they closed.
The Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, and Vegans were the teams that were lucky enough to fit into the elevator before it closed, with the Vegans glaring at the Police Cadets for their actions as the elevator began to rise. "Purposefully slowing everyone else down in a life or death situation like this is horribly immoral, shame on you!" Laurie scolded MacArthur, who didn't care what they thought at all.
"Say what you want veggie-head, unless you put yourself first, then you're just going to be another baddie we'll mow over!" MacArthur shot back, earning a worried look from Sanders.
Sanders poked her shoulder, trying to steer MacArthur's attention away from the Vegans. "I know we're supposed to be trying to win, but we can't just go making enemies like that! You need to control yourself!" Sanders warned her, to which MacArthur scoffed.
"The only control I need is over this team, we've got this!" MacArthur replied, just as cocky as ever.
The Ice Dancers giggled together, delighting in seeing team dynamics already start to crumble. "If you're supposed to be a team, then aren't you supposed to be able to get along well?" Josee asked them, having a grin on her face.
Hearing this, Lorenzo decided to butt in on the subject. "As if! We hate each other, and we're forced to be here as a team! You make it sound like I wanted to be around this piece of human trash!" Lorenzo pointed at Chet, who promptly slapped him in the face.
Jacques and Josee exchanged glances, giggling again. "I've got a good feeling about this race!" Jacques said cheerfully, the Stepbrothers fighting just bringing them more delight.
-Interview: Ice Dancers-
Both of the Ice Dancers were sitting with their signature smiles that looked even bigger than before. "Those other teams have bonds nowhere near as strong as ours. We've been hardened by years of competition and can tough through anything!" Josee laughed, feeling even more confident than before.
Jacques nodded in agreement with her. "Correct, as if any of them have a chance against us! Just look at the Stepbrothers, they barely have a chance against each other!" Jacques added, before they both burst into laughter.
-End Interview-
Even though he wasn't present Don was still doing his disembodied narration. "Despite the long wait for the elevator and the four teams in it getting a massive advantage against the others, more teams are still opting to choose scares. But they're going to be in for a long wait!" Don narrated, with the camera showing the rest of the teams on the bottom floor of the tower waiting for their turn anxiously.
Many of the teams were huddled around the elevator entrance, with Taylor and Kelly the most ready to jump in. "If anyone even tries to get in before me, you'll be getting a kick from these baddies! They're diamond studded leather, so watch out!" Taylor threatened everyone, giving the other teams close to the elevator death glares, which were the Sisters and the Geniuses.
"Relax tramp, the elevator isn't going to back for a while so I'd just get cozy." Noah retorted, holding a book in his hands and reading it to pass the time.
Taylor rolled his eyes, her focus zoning in on Noah. "Just because I'm not a loser nerd who can't race to save his life doesn't mean I have to bring everyone else down. Oh wait, I don't need to bring anyone else down, because I'm already above you all!" Taylor yelled, making Noah snicker ever so slightly.
-Interview: Reality TV Pros-
Owen still looked very nervous, although Noah's plain face showed much less signs of fear. "If there is one thing I know about reality shows, it's that mind games always win over brawns. Or in this case, mind games beat a spoiled girl who probably hasn't had to life more than 5 pounds. Those 5 pounds being her purse." Noah said, tapping one finger to his head.
Owen looked relieved to hear Noah saying things like this, his expression turning to a small smile. "There's my Noah! With your strategies like that, we're gonna make it out of this a-okay! C'mere!" Owen suddenly pulled Noah into a tight hug, making the bookworm gasp for air.
-End Interview-
Back to the massive stairwell, Don continued his narration. "Those that have abandoned the prospect of the elevator are now a third of the way through their painful climb to the top of the tower! And frankly, that's more fun to watch!" Don narrated as a zoomed out angle showed the Daters still at the front of the pack, with the surfers about 4 flights behind them, the Best Friends 2 flights behind the Surfers, and the Adversity Twins 9 flights below the Best Friends.
"On the upside, we're definitely not in last place!" Jay said to the camera optimistically while Mickey caught his breath. Jay turned and looked at his panting brother, before letting out a pained sigh. "On the downside, who knows if we'll even make it to the top?" Jay's tone completely shifted, before the twins got back to jogging up the flights of stairs.
At the middle of the pack, the Best Friends were getting closer and closer to the Surfer Dudes. Devin looked back at Carrie, whose breathing was getting a bit more heavy. "That's it homie, keep it up! Breathe in through your mouth and out your nose and keep up the pace!" Devin cheered on Carrie, which helped motivate her further.
After another minute of running, the two were able to pass up the Surfers, who looked dismayed to see them run by. Although that dismay was quickly replaced by smiles of optimism. "Way to go friends! Keep it up dudes!" Geoff encouraged the two, having no ill will against them.
Both of the Surfer Dudes were still fine physically, just the Best Friends were going at a faster pace than they were. Geoff looked back and could tell that Brody was getting more nervous just from being passed up. "Hey dude, don't worry! As long as we're not in last, we're good!" Geoff tried to assure him, to which Brody nodded and tried to keep a smile on.
Inside the tower on the observation deck level, the elevator opened up and let the four teams inside out. The Police Cadets rushed past everyone and towards the local guide who was holding a box full of helmets. "Alright, first in, first out! Just like the marines!" MacArthur cheered, grabbing two helmets out of the box and tossing one to Sanders.
"Umm, isn't the saying first in, last out?" Sanders corrected MacArthur as they ran outside the building to the skywalk.
Next to get their helmets were the Ice Dancers, who were pleased to put them on. "They match our outfits, isn't that just splendid?" Josee said with glee as she put on her helmet, with Jacques putting his on soon after.
The Vegans were able to grab their helmets next, putting them on an walking outside nervously. As soon as they stepped outside though, they were nearly petrified by the view of just how high up they were. "Okay... we can do this... we're doing this for you mother earth! Don't kill us!" Laurie called out to the sky, holding her hands out for balance as she and Miles began to walk along the metal path. The Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers were long ahead of them though, as they had ran through the skywalk instead of being careful.
Back at the bottom of the tower, the light for the elevator came on and the next batch of teams ran inside while Don narrated. "With the return of the elevator, the competition is heating up!" Don narrated as four different camera angles were shown at once. One showed the light for the elevator flicking on, one showed the door opening, one showed the shoes of the teams that were running in, and the last showed Taylor's hand repeatedly pushing the button to close the doors.
Rock and Spud had unfortunately just missed the elevator, as the doors completely closed right in front of them. "Bummer dude! Looks like we're gonna have to wait a little longer." Rock groaned, looking back and seeing that only four other teams were still here on the bottom level.
Inside the elevator, Taylor had a smug grin on her face, satisfied that she had put some distance between herself and some of the teams down there. "Thanks for not slowing us down in the elevator Mom, I was really expecting you to trip on the way in." Taylor told Kelly, as if it was a compliment.
Kelly rubbed the back of her head, unsure of how to take that. "Umm, no problem sweetie!" Kelly replied to her daughter, nervously chuckling.
The other teams in the elevator were the Tennis Rivals, the Fashion Bloggers, the Sisters, and the Geniuses. The old men were the only ones who felt the need to butt in here with the situation of Kelly and Taylor. "Are you seriously gonna let your daughter treat you like that? If that was my daughter, she'd be slapped upside the head!" Gerry asked her, sounding bewildered.
Kelly glared at Gerry, marching up to him and pointing a finger at his face. "How dare you tell me how to parent! My daughter is just fine! What would you know!?" Kelly yelled at him, making Taylor smirk as she was about to watch her mother go full-on Karen with them.
"What my partner is saying is..." Pete stepped in to back up Gerry, already not liking this. "Is that you're letting your daughter walk all over you! I have grandkids, so I know how to parent!" Pete defended Gerry, just further angering Kelly.
The other three teams in the elevator backed away from the two feuding teams, exchanging looks with one another. "Maybe waiting would have been a better idea..." Kitty muttered, leaning against the wall of the elevator.
-Interview: Geniuses-
"It was inevitable that teams would crack under such pressure." Ellody began, raising one finger. "But we didn't imagine that arguments would begin so soon."
Mary crossed her arms, then spoke. "Mhmm, but on the plus side, it means that we won't have to worry about either the Tennis Rivals or Mom and Daughter. If I had to hypothesize, I would guess that they will be the first teams eliminated due to how dysfunctional they are." Mary stated, adjusting her glasses after talking.
"That and the Tennis Rivals are at an extreme disadvantage with their poor bodies. I would say they would go first between the two if there is physical activity involved in the coming challenges." Ellody added, speaking in a matter-of-factly fashion.
-End Interview-
The elevator soon reached the observation deck, and the teams ran towards the local guide to quickly grab their helmets. Although the Tennis Rivals and Kelly were still bickering with each other while Taylor went to grab her helmet, so they were now behind the other three teams. "Come on Mom, I normally love seeing you tear people down, but we've got a race to win!" Taylor called to her mom, grabbing a second helmet for her.
The Geniuses and Sisters hurried out onto the skywalk, while the Fashion Bloggers were much more hesitant to step outside. "We have to walk out here!? Won't this just kill us!?" Tom shouted, seeing the view after they put their helmets on. Normally they'd be bothered about the colors mismatching, but this situation was too dire for that.
Jen grabbed Tom's hand, and stepped out onto the skywalk with him. "We can do this Tom! Like you said, imagine the views! We walked on a skywalk!" Jen tried to encourage her partner as they walked in sync with each other.
The two of them hugged each other as they got a bit further out onto the skywalk, still keeping their footsteps in sync. "You're right, can you believe pay to do this!? And we're doing it for free!" Tom joined Jen in looking at the positives, distracting both of them from the looming threat of falling.
Behind them, the Tennis Rivals soon ran out onto the skywalk, taking the same reckless approach that the Police Cadets and Ice Dancers did. They passed up Tom and Jen quickly, laughing as they did. "Ahaha! Suckers! Another team in the dust!" Pete taunted them as they passed by.
On the other side of the skywalk, the Ice Dancers and Police Cadets were the first to reenter the tower, with another local guide having a tip ready for them. Jacques took the tip for the dancers, while MacArthur took the tip for the cadets. "Catch a flight with a zip, ride the line to your tip! Eh?" Jacques read off the tip, then tried to figure out what it meant. As they did so, the Stepbrothers jogged into the tower as well and grabbed their tip.
The camera cut to show a zipline that went from the CN Tower to an airport, with Don doing his disembodied narration again. "Teams must ride this flimsy zipline over Lake Ontario all the way to this island airport and snag their next tip along the way, which will them the location of their flight! There will be three separate flights, each one departing an hour apart from each other. So it's best to get there fast!" Don explained, with the camera showing several tips hanging along the zipline.
Don was in front of the airport now, standing in front of a pile of mattresses. "The line was tested this morning by our intern Andrew, condolences again to his family." Don's tone softened a bit when mentioning the deceased intern.
The three teams who had finished the skywalk took the other elevator in the observation level to the top of the tower, where the zipline was waiting for them. The Ice Dancers made it to the zipline first, with Josee sitting on Jacques shoulders. Josee snatched the tip with ease, while the show switched to a GoPro view on the zipline that was close to Jacques's face. "Go Team Canada!" he cheered as they zoomed down the zipline.
The Police Cadets were up next, and MacArthur grabbed the handle for the zipline. "Alright Sanders, hop on!" MacArthur ordered, waiting for her partner to follow.
"And why are you the one giving orders still? We're partners, you're not the boss and neither am I." Sanders asked her, hesitant to get on MacArthur's shoulders.
MacArthur pointed at Sander's muscles, which were much more lacking compared to MacArthur's. "Do you really think your spaghetti body can carry me? Hurry up and quit blabbing!" MacArthur gave her reason quickly, which made Sanders groan as she went along with it and hopped on. The two took off down the zipline after that, with Sanders easily grabbing the tip.
Back in the observation deck, the Vegans walked into tower from the skywalk, both letting out huge sighs of relief that nothing went wrong. "Thank you father sky for letting us pass through your domain." Miles thanked her belief while Laurie grabbed the tip from the local guide.
The Tennis Rivals soon followed them in, although Pete fell to the ground and yelled in pain. "AAGH! My artificial knee just gave out!" Pete yelled, which Gerry just watched uncomfortably.
Instead of heading for the elevator, Laurie and Miles walked over to Pete and helped him to his feet with each of them taking an arm. "This is why mother earth does not condone such technology. By rejecting the body given to you and replacing it's parts, you've brought yourself more pain. Don't worry though, we'll help you out." Laurie told her, both relieving and confusing Pete.
-Interview: Tennis Rivals-
Pete looked confused still, while Gerry looked at the camera with discomfort. "I think those vegans mean well, but they are weird!" Gerry spread his arms out a bit, while Pete nodded in agreement with him.
"Well as long as they're helping us out, I'll take weird. Maybe they can help us get some new sponsors! Like for uh, those protein granola bars! You know the ones. Full of sugar and don't really help you in sports but the packaging says they do?" Pete joked, which made Gerry laugh a little with him.
-End Interview-
On the top of the tower, the door to the stairwell opened up and the Daters ran out. Ryan looked just fine, but it was clear Stephanie had been well tired out. "Great job babe, I'll carry you from here!" Ryan told her, picking her up over his shoulders.
Stephanie took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes. "Thanks babe, you're a real gentleman..." she thanked him as he grabbed the zipline and took them down to the airport.
Soon after the Daters went down to the airport, Carrie and Devin ran out of the stairwell. "We made it homie! And it looks like there are still a lot of tips out there! We're still in the lead!" Devin exclaimed, pointing out at the zipline where most of the tips were still hanging.
Carrie hugged Devin briefly, before running over to the zipline with him. "You're right! Woo! We can so win this!" Carrie cheered, hopping onto Devin's back as he grabbed the zipline. The two then zipped down, both wearing happy smiles thanks to their good position.
Back at the bottom of the tower, the elevator finally returned for the teams still waiting, which all five of them were able to get inside. "Dad, do you think we still have a shot at staying safe?" Junior asked his dad as the elevator began to rise, looking up at him for comfort.
Dwayne nodded, ruffling his son's head a little. "Not to worry kiddo! As long as you're with me, nothing will go wrong!" Dwayne told him, pulling him into a side hug.
As if on cue, a toot could be heard from somewhere in the elevator. Owen looked around nervously, while Noah just facepalmed as the room started to fill with a putrid stench. "W-What is this poison spell that is being cast upon us!?" Leonard yelled wincing as he picked up on the smell.
The Goths and Spud looked completely unfazed by the smell, while everyone else in the elevator covered their noses now in disgust, since the smell was only getting worse. Another toot was heard, grossing them out further. "Dude, didn't you go to the bathroom before this?" Noah asked his partner, who whistled innocently as if nothing happened.
At the top of the tower, the Vegans and the Tennis Rivals now walked out of the elevator into the open air. Laurie and Miles were still helping Pete, who was hopping on one leg. "Alright, so we have to go down that zipline to get our tips, can you carry Pete Gerry?" Miles asked the unharmed senior, who nodded to confirm.
Miles gave a thumbs up and helped lean Pete against Gerry. "We'll wait for you two at the airport okay?" Laurie told them, with Miles sitting on her back before they rode the zipline down to the airport.
Gerry helped his partner walk to the zipline, leaning over for a moment so Pete could get himself securely on. "If our lives weren't at stake, I'd probably take a crack at you for your knee. Heh, maybe we shouldn't have gotten that sponsor from Dr. Bholl's knee implants!" Gerry tried to shed some humor on their situation, making Pete chuckle.
"Yeah, I'd rather go with tube socks! And I hate tube socks!" Pete joked back while Gerry grabbed the zipline.
"And there goes the tube sock sponsorship!" Gerry and Pete now both laughed together as Gerry took off down the zipline towards the airport, with Pete successfully grabbing the tip.
In the observation deck level, more teams were coming out of the skywalk while the elevator finally brought up the last five teams. The Geniuses walked through having bugs splattered on them, with Ellody trying to wipe off her glasses since a fly had splattered on them. "That was disgusting, what are the chances that were are the only team to get bugs on us?" Ellody asked her partner, who had just grabbed the tip from the guide.
"Very unlikely, although it may have been an attempt from the producers at humor. It is reality tv after all, viewers get mild dopamine rushes from seeing contestants in misery after all." Mary answered, walking to the elevator while wiping off her shirt.
Before they could close the door to the elevator however, the Fashion Bloggers came running in. "Wait up! We can't fall behind!" Tom called out to the Geniuses, who hadn't pressed the close door button yet.
The two nerds opted to let the bloggers get into the elevator before closing the door, relieving them greatly. "OMG, thanks so much! We were like so worried it was gonna be like on the bottom of the tower where we get stuck waiting for forever." Jen thanked them, leaning against the elevator wall.
Mary gave a wave of dismissal, now looking mostly clean, although the stains on the Geniuses clothes were still noticeable. "No need to give thanks, it's just common courtesy." Mary told them.
-Interview: Geniuses-
"Another thing we learned about reality shows..." Mary began, having one finger raised. "Is that acting courteous to your fellow contestants will often pay off later in one way or another." she stated, referring to their kindness towards the bloggers.
Ellody nodded in agreement, still wiping her glasses. "That is why establishing a friendly relationship with as many teams as possible early on is imperative to success. They'll lower their guard around us and thus make critical errors when it affects the race the most." Ellody added, seeing these friendships as purely strategical.
-End Interview-
Out on the skywalk, the Sisters were currently nearing the entrance back into the observation deck. "Okay Kitty, we're almost there! Just don't look down and- Kitty?" Emma looked behind her when talking and saw that her sister was in fact not behind her and was instead taking some selfies capturing a view of the city.
"Hold on! I'm just getting some pictures!" Kitty told her sister, smiling at the camera.
Emma marched over to her sister and grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the edge of the skywalk. "No time for pictures Kitty, this is life or death!" Emma scolded her, taking quick strides to the entrance of the observation deck.
Kitty sighed, putting her camera away. "I just feel so alive right now, I really want to make sure I capture some nice last moments of us on camera!" Kitty reasoned as they jogged inside the tower.
"Well you won't feel alive if we lose. So let's focus on winning so these aren't our last moments got it?" Emma snapped back, grabbing the tip from the local guide.
Kitty let out a disappointed sigh, following her sister to the elevator and walking inside as just the two of them went up to the top of the tower.
At the beginning of the skywalk, the Goths had walked out with no expression as expected. While they had no problems walking out into danger, the rest of the teams from the last batch were a lot more stressed except for the Rockers. "Woah Spud! Check out that view! We're like, higher than high right now!" Rock exclaimed, pointing down at the city below.
Spud looked over, an amazed expression forming on his face. "Duuuuude, we're so high, we're higher than we got off of Ronnie's mushrooms!" Spud replied, making Rock facepalm.
"Not that kind of high Spud." Rock corrected him, now picking up the pace as they walked along the skywalk.
Owen and Noah were a little bit behind them, although the wind kicked up and nearly sent Noah flying. Owen grabbed onto him before he could be sent flying however, and the two zoomed across the skywalk past all of the teams currently on it. "Do NOT let go!" Noah yelled, his eyes wide in fear as one slip from Owen could easily lead to him plummeting to his death.
-Interview: Reality TV Pros-
Both of the pros had their hair blown back a bit, as well as both looking shocked. "Okay, so maybe this whole thing wasn't going to go as smooth as we thought." Noah said, the near death experience having unsettled him.
-End Interview-
At the top of the tower, the Surfer Dudes came running out of the stairwell, although Brody quickly collapsed to the ground, holding one leg. "Gah! My calves! Duuuude!" Brody cried in pain.
"Does anybody have a banana!?" Geoff yelled, hoping for someone to somehow have a banana around. The Geniuses and the Fashion Bloggers were currently preparing to go down the zipline, and both teams shook their head in response to the question.
Geoff groaned, picking up Brody and hoisting him over his shoulder. "I got you bro! They'll probably have some bananas at the airport!" Geoff assured Brody, patting his friend on the back while holding him.
"Shyeah, thanks dude." Brody thanked him, trying to stretch his leg a little while they waited for their turn on the zipline.
At the airport now, the Tennis Rivals had just landed on the mattress in a rough landing, although they were quickly helped by the Vegans who had stuck to their word and waited for them. Pete was helped off the mattress while Gerry looked over their travel tip. "Morocco? Isn't that the crummy desert place?" Gerry asked, having read that they were going to be flying to Morocco.
Miles didn't like the name, but she nodded her head. "Yes, it's a desert region in Africa. Although only 6 teams will be going on each flight. If there isn't room for both of us, you can go ahead." Miles offered their seats to them, as the four of them now walked to the airport. They couldn't jog, since Pete still needed help.
"Hehe, thank you ladies, really. It's always great to see you youngins respect your elders." Pete thanked them, briefly wincing in pain as he stepped with his hurt leg.
"Well, you two really need the early flight advantage too. Not to insult you, but your condition isn't the best." Laurie said, trying to say it in the nicest way possible.
Gerry and Pete looked at each other for a moment, neither able to come up with a way to disagree with them there. "Ugh, we get it. Well, thanks for helping out anyway." Gerry thanked them again.
"As more teams reach the tarmac and start heading for flights 1 and 2, the race for not last intensifies!" Don narrated, as Mickey and Jay had finally reached the top of the tower. Although they had barely managed to do so, with Jay dragging his brother to the zipline.
"C'mon Mickey, stay with me!" Jay tried to motivate his brother, who was extremely woozy and exhausted from their run.
Kelly and Taylor were at the zipline when the Adversity Twins arrived, with Taylor looking back the two and giggling at their misfortune. "That's our competition? Whew, we really do have this in the bag don't we?" Taylor mocked them, hopping onto her mother's back.
"Now Taylor, don't make fun of them like that. We all know they won't make it, so there is no point in rubbing it in." Kelly told her, before hopping from the tower and zooming down the zipline with Taylor.
Jay helped Mickey up to his feet as they left, pulling him over to the zipline. "Feeling better Mickey?" Jay asked him, waving a hand in front of his face.
"I'm a dainty princess..." Mickey mumbled, making Jay sigh in defeat as it seemed like their situation couldn't get any worse.
The scene shifted back to the airport, where the Surfer Dudes had just landed on the mattresses. Geoff had the tip in his hands, while Brody looked a little less in pain than before. "Morocco? Dude, that's probably the place maracas come from! Let's go!" Geoff exclaimed, hopping off the mattresses and running to the airport. Brody got off the mattresses soon after, briefly stumbling and jogging after his partner.
"The teams have arrived and the flights have been booked!" Don narrated, as clips of the last few teams going down the zipline and landing on the mattresses played.
The show switched to a map that zoomed in on Ontario, where there were three plane icons. The one in the front was highlighted, and the icons for the teams in it appeared on screen. "Flight number one will carry the Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Stepbrothers, Daters, Best Friends, and Tennis Rivals." Don stated who was on the flight, with their icons appearing as he said the team names.
"Flight number two will carry the Vegans, Geniuses, Fashion Bloggers, Surfer Dudes, Sisters, and Mom and Daughter!" Don listed off the next batch, with the second plane being highlighted and showing the icons for said teams.
"Lastly, flight number three will be carrying the Reality TV Pros, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Goths, LARPers, and Father and Son! If they're on the third flight, they should really evaluate their game plan and how much they value their life because... wow, really?" Don sounded disappointed in the last group of teams, since they had all done poorly to end up in their situation.
Don walked in front of the airport now, having one hand raised. "Who will win the first jaunt of this race? Tune in next time to find out! The Ridonculous Race, is to be continued!" the camera zoomed in on Don's face, before cutting to the credits.
Elimination Order: N/A
Current Status:
Flight 1: Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Stepbrothers, Daters, Best Friends, Tennis Rivals
Flight 2: Vegans, Geniuses, Fashion Bloggers, Surfer Dudes, Sisters, Mother and Daughter
Flight 3: Reality TV Pros, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Goths, LARPers, Father and Son
Author's Note: Heya, SkyFan2077 here! After reading Despair Island by Knives, I got the idea to take that concept of death upon elimination and transferred it onto the Ridonculous Race! The idea to put both together when rewatching the series and hearing Don accidentally say that the teams would be racing to the death. The producers of course corrected him in the show, but of course I wanted to explore the idea of what if it was a death race? I know some of the teams acted the same, since they realistically would regardless of the stakes, but I'm sure you saw that some dynamics changed greatly with the new pressure forced on them.
It may be confusing or unexplained as to how all of this came to be and or how it's even legal, but all will be explained in future episodes! Don't think that the elimination order will even remotely follow canon's elimination order either. Some people who made it in canon might bite the dust early, while some of the early boots might make it much much further than in canon. So that's where this episode's review question comes into play! Of course reviewing greatly helps for feedback reasons, but I feel like asking you the reader a quick question can help make things just a bit more entertaining. I love reading what people think when it comes to my fics, so I'm looking forward to your answers!
This episode's review question is...
What team do you think will go much further than they did in canon?
Feel free to include your answer in your review and I'll see you all next time! Remember, Sky is the best!