A/n i own nothing. I'm just trying this out. Let me know what you think. I will add more chapters depending on what all of you that read this want. I'm very new at this so I'm giving it my best shot.

Olivia sighed tiredly as she let herself and amanda into the apartment. It had been a long day at the station, and with Amanda in her current state it had taken Liv much longer to get things done. Since Amanda's rescue 3 months ago olivia's life had not been the same.

Amanda had been missing for a year before being rescued and coming to live with olivia, and in that time she had been abused and traumatized in the most unimaginable ways possible. she would mentally regress to the age of a toddler and sometimes even a baby depending on the day. She was totally dependent on Liv for help the majority of the time, which is what brought them to their current living situation. On top of that, the blonde was autistic, which brought about a whole new set of challenges, made worse by the abduction. There were moments where she returned to her big girl self, but that didn't usually last very long if she had regressed. Her emotional state was very unpredictable. One minute she would be the adult version of herself and the next she would be in Liv's arms crying hysterically while pleading with her, or mama as she sometimes called her when she was in the regressed state not to leave her.

Other times she would have major meltdowns when she was unable to process her emotions regarding the kidnapping which would cause her to self sooth, but that usually resulted in self-injurious behavior.

Before the abduction, she struggled with meltdowns and being overstimulated as well as not wanting to be touched but now it was worse than ever.

Now with the trauma of the kidnapping, Olivia was the only person who could touch her.

In no way could she leave her for an extended period of time. She'd found that out the hard way the first time she had brought Amanda to the squadroom after coming home with her and had stepped out to speak with fin. That had resulted in Amanda having a meltdown, banging her head against the wall for 10 minutes and screaming when Sonny had accidentily touched her.

With the younger man never having seen Amanda's meltdowns he didn't know what to do so he got Olivia as soon as possible. Olivia snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Amanda looking at her. "Liv," amanda said quietly. "I'm hungry. Can i have something to eat?" "Sure, baby," liv said softly.

Getting amanda to eat was another difficult task when she came home. She was often punished by not being aloud food if she did something wrong. Liv was going to fix that though. She was going to show Amanda that not everyone would hurt her.

As she prepared dinner she watched Amanda, who stood quietly by the counter watching her. Her nightmares and flashbacks were also a factor. Most nights she woke up screaming and the only thing liv could do was hold her until she fell back to sleep.

"Here baby," Olivia said as she sat the plate of spaghetti in front of her before fixing her own plate. Amanda looked at her with frightened blue eyes. "its ok sweetie, Liv whispered. You can eat. You won't get in trouble. Amanda looked at her for a few minutes, trying to see if she was telling the truth. Satisfied she was Amanda slowly picked up the fork and began to eat.

Later on that night after they had eaten and gone to bed Liv was woken up by a terrified scream.

She raced across the hall and into Amanda's room, turning on the light as she went.

"Hey, sweetheart," she cooed softly. "You're ok, You're safe," she said as she gently placed a hand on the blonde's small shoulder.

"Wake up for me, baby." " It's Liv, I'm right here."

"No, No please," Amanda shrieked. "I'll be good, Just don't hurt me anymore," she sobbed.

"Shhh, you're safe baby, I promise."

Suddenly Amanda sat straight up in the bed, and began hitting and biting at herself and the brunette new she needed to act fast. "My fault,"she cried. "Didn't listen to you, Amanda bad," she continued as she began hitting her head against the headboard behind her while one hand went into her mouth where she bit down, hard. "Baby, no, we aren't doing that," the brunette said softly as she removed Amanda's hand from her mouth before sitting behind her and crossing her arms across her body in a restraint hold. "I've got you, shh, lets try to calm down," she said as she began to rock, hoping that her calming words along with the rocking would help her regulate and sooth her back to sleep. Amanda sobbed and screamed for another 10 minutes before finally calming in Liv's arms and falling back to sleep.

Liv got them into a laying position on the bed before covering them with the blankets.

She new then that she would not be returning to her own room, not with Amanda sleeping so comfortably in her arms.

The only time she was able to sleep, even a little was when liv held her, and she would do that for as long as it took for Amanda to get better and feel safe.