I AM NO ONE. I AM EVERYONE.
My name is of no importance. I am no one. I am everyone.
But to those, like you, who have found this copied logbook: I am the one who has leaked Doctor Henk's diary.
We are stuck in the depths of this accursed moon where countless bloodthirsty creatures are only waiting for a moment of inattention, a minute of absence, a second of weakness to tear us apart and eat our flesh. Factions are dividing us, waging proxy wars that make no sense, sending our brilliant men and women on suicide missions in submarines that would normally serve a better purpose, a purpose which could benefit all of us as we struggle for the survival of mankind. Alas, we fight battles for those who stay safe and dry in outposts. Young adventurous minds enter ancient alien ruins only to later escape in terror, forever traumatized by what they saw in the blackness – if they ever escape from these mindshattering labyrinths, that is. Clowns are seen more and more frequently, too.
This is our burden as modern day Europans, but the worst problem for humanity as a whole is Henk Corp. Henk Corp is not only a multi-billion, cyclopean company, it's also a yearly, daily, hourly, minutely human rights violator. You already know Henk Corp. Everybody knows Henk Corp. They're everywhere. Wherever they go, they leave only ashes behind. There is little I could tell you about Henk Corp that would surprise you. Suffice to say that its most despicable branches aim towards a twisted, perverted version of science. If it is indeed science, it is a science that shouldn't be. It is the source of dessecration and darkness rather than of knowledge and enlightenment. Scarred patients have escaped from their facilities with tales of horror even the most insane individual couldn't come up with.
I will not say how I got my hands on this logbook. All I can say is that I can assure you it is real, that it includes written and audio transcripts of Doctor Henk and that in it, we discover this man along with his family are of a most profoundly sickening nature. While I cannot prove its authenticity myself, I believe that rumors, but most importantly facts gathered throughout the years will support my claim. Yes indeed, we have heard or even met a few of Doctor Henk's clones and other experiments or we have heard of people encountering them. Some have even met Doctor Henk in submarine missions – a most chilling thought should I say. We have heard of what he and his team of butchers have done in the past. We have read and heard evidence of his seemingly endless madness on numerous occasions. He is a vile, evil man and needs to be stopped. Hopefully, the copies of this diary will eventually end up in the hands of people capable of putting an end to his folly. I can only hope this will happen sooner than later for there are without a doubt living beings who are suffering under his supervision at this very moment!
THE FORMATIVE YEARS
Day 1: Hello world!
Hello. My name is Doctor Henk! I am two yar olds. Today. I aet a cookie. Tomorrow? I aet a cookie too. Maybe two cookie?...? I have toy. It is scapel. It is the favorite toy of me. Daddy gave it. He say I become doctor one day. I like!
Day 4: Cookie no more.
Today is bad day. I was playing with doll, Agatha. Daddy say it no good. Not productive. He force me to open doll with scalpel. Now Agatha is no more. I wish I could have doll back. I sad. Daddy give cookie no more because this. I want cookie so no more doll. Only productive. Tommorow I be productive. Tommorow Daddy happy. I then aet cookie. It is my plan.
Day 13: Good day today!
Today! I made experiment. First experiment of Doctor Henk! Happy daddy! Dog now has one eye only. I try another experiment tomorrow.
Day 15: Dog dead.
Experiment not work well. Dog dead. Daddy still happy though. Daddy no like mommy's dog. So he happy dog dead. He say dog endangered species more and more. Very rare on Europa. Even more rare now that Rufus dead! Give me five cookie daddy did. I like experiment more now. I do more now.
Day 42: My name.
Questions. Why my first name Doctor? Why my family name not Henkson like bigger brother Henk Henkson Junior? Today, I realize my name truly is "Doctor Henk". It on birth certificate. "Doctor Henk". Stupid name. Daddy made that way. Daddy say it because I was born to be doctor. Why not Henk Henkson III? Why not Doctor Henkson? Daddy like bigger brother more. Now I know. He also give him more cookie than me. With chocolate in it too. My cookie never chocolate. Why my life so bad?
Day 178: First day at school.
Dear diary. It has been a while, yes? It is I, Doctor Henk. Today is my birthday. I am now three years of age. For not writing much, I apologize. I was too busy conducting experiments and extending my knowledge. You will see that I have now entirely mastered this language. I am now learning five more languages simultaneously, by the way. Some things never change, however. I still am very fond of cookies.
Today was also the day that I went to school for the first time. They call it "preschool". I might only be three years old, but to me "preschool" is what I've been doing up until I have arrived here. I am not as physically developed as the other children, obviously. Most of them are five or even six years of age.
In any case, my first day was not a very productive experience.
Those lowlives are exasperating me. They are a hindrance in my quest for knowledge. I have to constantly tell them not to put objects in their mouths. They incessantly scream for absolutely no logical reasons. They have yet to differenciate the purposes of facial tissues and clothing. How can I even think straight with all this noise?
This morning, we played with plasticine. To my dismay, a girl ate some. There is just no hope, no future for the degenerate larvae in this establishment. There is a boy who has a very strong soap smell. I dislike him a lot. He has introduced me to olfactory pain. There is another one, the tallest boy in class, who likes to grab toys from the hands of others. His name is Bobby. He stole my plasticine... but not before I put a small explosive in it. The thing is that janitors have a remarquable array of chemicals at their disposals. I find it fitting that, in my own way, have used their cleaning products to get rid of a stain – a living one, that is. I made a wireless detonator with my watch, then all I had to do was to wait for the fateful tick I had programmed. Now, Bobby won't be able to grab things from others since his hands are gone.
The deflagration, albeit small according to my standards, caused quite a ruckus. While the paramedics were attending Bobby, I went for a stroll, whistling along the way in order to muffle the screams and fire alarms. I have found a rather calm area – the restrooms – where I could do some calculus to stimulate my intellect. Unfortunately, the school was closed a short time later due to the "Bobby incident" and we were all sent back home.
Day 185: Second day at school.
School has resumed. Bobby is nowhere to be seen. Soap Boy is still there, however. Quite upsetting.
In the afternoon, the teacher, Ms. Ashcroft, said that I should join the group and play with my "little friends". Does she not understand that I am currently about to make a groundbreaking discovery in electrochemistry? Tomorrow I shall ask Father for the possibility of jumping a few grades.
Day 188: An upgrade.
Well, it was not that much of an upgrade, but I guess it will have to do for the time being. I am now in high school. All I had to do was to complete a bunch of exams which weren't much of a task and more of a bore. Unfortunately, bureaucracy seems to keep me from reaching higher levels for now. The pen pushers have a hard time believing a three years old could manage to be as smart as I am. Fools! I could already reform the education system if I was given the chance. But then again, why would I do that? Tend to the cattle? What would I gain from it?
I don't even need school, honestly. I've already taught myself the content they are teaching here. I'm merely studying human behavior at the moment, trying to find how ordinary folk can remain alive with their lackluster brain activity.
Day 196: I am getting bullied.
Today, I was bullied again. There is this group of boys who like to pick on me. It began when they realized I would spend most of my free time in the restrooms. I was reading this book on field modulation – most fascinating stuff – when they stormed in my stall, put me upside down and flushed the toilet a few times.
Ever since I came back from school, I've been working on a little something to retaliate. We will see how it goes tomorrow.
Day 197: Success!
Predictable insects. They came back to the restrooms. This time, I wasn't there. Instead, waiting for them was a bouquet of salt bulbs suspended over the toilet. When they opened the door they thought I was behind, they triggered the trap. The bulbs all fell into the water, creating a wondrous explosion. The way water and blood blend together, creating a pink-colored hue... nature truly is beautiful sometimes.
My only concern is that now that the restrooms have exploded, I will have to go to the library to study. I don't like the librarian there. She is old and, like all old people I've met, she smells like wet cardboard and cat litter. What a horrifying fragrance. Is this what death smells like?
Day 220: BORING.
I can't initiate any form of conversation with people here. They only talk about video games, Europa-Pop groups and kissing. I now fear puberty more than ever.
Day 248: Much better.
I am now satisfied with my position. After lobbying here and there, Father managed to get me to a more acceptable learning level. I am currently at the academy. Most of the students here are in their twenties and can handle a few minutes of conversation without drooling too much. It is a more suitable environment for me until I reach maybe six years of age.
Most are afraid of me, I guess. I must admit my arrival has provoked quite a bustle. I have decided to bring an automaton I had built a couple of weeks ago to assist me. I must humbly admit that it is not my best creation. At approximately 10:35AM, the robot began malfunctioning. Luckily enough, there was only one casualty before I disengaged it with my remote. I should've removed the flamer arm extension before bringing that thing with me.
I guess this is why everyone hates bots. They are simply too unreliable. Sigh...
Father had to pay a hefty sum to compensate the deceased student's family. He is very unhappy with me now. I fear I will have to stop writing in this diary for some time. I must rather focus on my studies and improve my relationship with Father.
THE TEENAGE YEARS
Day 3659: I am back!
Hello, Diary, we meet again! I rarely spend time in my bedroom nowadays, so I didn't really have the time to write more personal things. But I have decided to take a little pause and here I am.
I am now twelve years of age. According to Europan law, I am now old enough to go in submarines for certain missions. Father built a submarine for this purpose, the Zhakarov Research Vessel. Within it, I am second in command. I feel at home in this submarine, away from most human filth. Just like the restrooms which always offered me tranquillity, a sub is an often wet place, there are many meandering pipes, odd noises can be heard every now and then and those noises often are accompanied by scents which are just as odd. Located within the very heart of this sub is a large laboratory where I can safely conduct various experiments with a team of highly skilled professionals.
The man in command is Professor Petur Yaridovichnikovski. He is perhaps the only human being on this accursed moon who can sometimes – I do mean sometimes – find ways to amaze even yours truly with his knowledge of Europa and the rest of the universe. He is an expert in various scientific domains and an inspiration to all scientists. After completing my thesis on the alien ruins and leaving the academy as the youngest doctorate in history, Professor Yari – only I am allowed to refer to him as such – has taken me under his wing. With him by my side, I have made my first steps outside of the so-called civilized world and entered the mysterious and fascinating world of Europan wilderness.
There are other crewmembers accompanying us, of course. The captain of the ship, Rickard Green, is proving to be a worthy navigator. Dr. Markov, Dr. Wise and Dr. De La Croix assist me and Prof Yari. There are a few others... mainly mechanics, engineers and officers, but I rarely interact with them, so I do not remember their names. They are an interchangeable, expendable workforce, to be honest.
Our last mission consisted of capturing a live husk specimen. After numerous failed attempts which resulted in a bunch of casualties ( hence the "expendable" part I just mentionned ), I came up with the idea of infecting one of the crewmen with the husk eggs we had retrieved. « This would allow us to study the evolution of the infection right from the beginning » I explained. To my surprise, Dr. Wise and Dr. De La Croix were reluctant, but Dr. Markov seemed to be on my side. Ultimately, it was Professor Yari who chose in my favor – time was running out as we were low on fuel rods and we required results hastily.
Choosing whom to infect was up to me and Professor Yari. After analysing our list of potential guinea pigs, we selected a mechanic who went by the name of "Greg". Thirty years old and healthy. Perfect.
I must admit I found the following events quite... stimulating. Yari was not too keen on the idea at first, but he caved in to my evident eagerness
When Greg entered the laboratory, he didn't know about his fate yet. He was told to fix a pump in the storage room, so he went there and did repair it. Unbeknownst to him, I had concealed myself in the darkness between two cabinets. I came from behind like the ninja with a Ph.D. that I am and gave Greg a shot of paralysis in the back of the neck. He immediately fell to the ground like a big dumb duffle bag. I told Dr. De La Croix – a charming yet horribly emotional young woman who was on her first mission – that Gregory probably was not conscious anymore and that he would not be aware of what would come. That was a lie of course, but I wanted her to take solace in the idea that Greg's last moments had been spent doing something he loved; fixing a pump. I guess I am a bit too much of a softie sometimes.
We tied up Greg on a stretcher, inserted the eggs in his mouth and waited for nature to take its course. At first, the patient's throat began to swell. It turned red, purple, then switched to a dark colored hue. It is quite bemusing ( or should I say amusing? ) how the parasite manages to tear its way out of the throat, destroying most of the mandible at the same time. Greg – or what was left of him – began jerking around on his stretcher. Dr. De La Croix proved to be most unprofessional, calling me and Yari "monsters" and running away to her quarters, crying. Some people simply do not understand what the pursue of science means.
And now, well, I am back from this mission and I am rolling my thumbs until the next journey. I will bring you with me this time, diary. Apparently, there is a mudraptor nest nearby that requires attention.
Day 3682: Dr. Wise.
Dr. Wise proved to be not so wise and was caught off-guard by a few beasts while we were outside. Prof Yari and I investigated the mudraptor nest after the butchery... long story short, we now have a bunch of little mudpups in the blast room where we intend on safely studying and perhaps tame them. Dr. De La Croix spends her time withdrawn from the group, tending to her plants, crying as usual. We won't need saline for sure, hehehe! I gave her some fertilizer to show my sympathy. I don't think she realized the red mulch I concocted is actually Dr. Wise, or to the very least, what was left of him. The deconstructors and fabricators truly are wonderful inventions.
Day 3713: Yari and mudraptors.
Prof Yari and I have taken great care of the mudraptors. We killed off the least interesting ones and kept three. We named them Wolfgang, Antonio and Ludwig.
Today, Yari gave me my first bottle of ethanol. We spent some time drinking while watching Ludwig eating crawler meat. At first, I believed Father had imposed Yari on me because he didn't trust me enough to let me command a submarine. That probably is the truth, but over time I grew to respect the professor... more than I respect Father. Father is... strict. Yari, on the other hand, gives me the necessary latitude I require. He is also a man of compromise. I haven't spoken to Father for two years now and I do not miss him. When I am with Yari, I am his favorite colleague. He acknowledges my worth, appreciates my intellect and I know he finds my presence agreeable. It is an enjoyable feeling I had not experienced until now. Is Yari a friend? A mentor? A father? I do not know. It is all alien to me.
Sometimes, I worry about Professor Yari getting old. He is already in his seventies. I seldom see him falling asleep after lunch. He has arthritis and when the inflammation in his joints is too important, he prefers to stay in his quarters. His mind is still there, he is still quick to think, but the body...
Once I have some time for myself, I will focus my attention on life-extending technologies.
Day 3716: De La Croix.
Dr. De La Croix has resigned. I guess it had to be expected. We will have to find replacements for her and Dr. Wise. And the mechanic. Kinda forgot about husked Greg for a moment there.
Day 3801: Urgh.
Well, it turns out Mozart was a she. Antonio and Ludwig figured that out before we did. The result was:
1) A fight to the death between the two males a bunch of weeks ago ( now we know why )!
2) Mozart laying eggs last morning. The problem here is that Mozart, Antonio and Ludwig were siblings and we now have a generation of inbreds. Looks like they're all going to a faraway continent called Euthanasia... I know this is an old joke but I still like it. Hihihi.
EARLY ADULT YEARS
Day 6436: CATASTROPHE!
NO! I cannot believe it! Professor Yari was mutilated by his pet mudraptor, Chopin! I am still shaking even now. The tears have damaged my health scanner goggles and I can barely see. I must go for now...
Day 6437: Aftermath.
It was the new guy. Why does it always have to be the new guy? I knew there was something wrong with him! He never talked! Always had a screwdriver in his hand, touching things he shouldn't touch, wandering in areas he had no business in! I told the officer I saw him trying to break into the armory with a crowbar and he did NOTHING! It was only after he overloaded the reactor that FINALLY everyone realized we had a traitor, no, a GRIEFER on board. What a calimity! I am at a loss for words to express feelings I can't even comprehend! Anger? Sadness? Hatred? Despair? ARGH! Hang on, I will have another dose of haloperidol.
Much better. Anyway. Now I guess I should explain what happened to the professor. He was so close to fully taming Chopin. Chopin was his greatest work, his pride, his child... no, OUR child! Chopin was the smartest mudraptor we had. He could even perform tricks. Then, all the sub started malfunctioning, the lights first flickered, suddenly the junction boxes blew up, vital machines broke and we began sinking! We ultimately hit a rock and the sub began to flood. Prof Yari was with Chopin all this time in the recreational area. As we all know, when a mudraptor is hurt, it can recover by eating meat... well, Chopin was hurt and the closest meat was Yari.
By the time I gave my mentor first aid treatment, Chopin had been shot to death by a security officer. I managed to maintain Yari alive, but half of his body has been chewed up. I had to act quickly, so I put him in a preservation capsule. He is in stable condition, I guess. His organs are all functional thanks to various machines, pumps and chemicals. The problem is that he is now in a coma and there is no way of getting him out of there without killing him. I will have to invest a lot of time and money in researching technologies which will allow me to bring Yari back to life. In the meantime, I look at him in this tank and I ask myself what I could've done differently. Culpability is perpetually gnawing my consciousness.
Day 6441: Father's help.
I had to turn to Father for help. He has given me unlimited funds and personel to conduct my research. Yari, I will not give up on you! Father did not recognize my voice on the hologram at first. It appears my voice has adopted Yari's accent over the last few years. I guess it is one of the many imprints he has made on my life.
Day 7100: Significant discovery
The alien technology found in ruins might prove to be even more helpful than anticipated. It appears that those who built the ruins have left creatures there, creatures which can stand the test of time. They are both biological and mechanical in nature, like a completed union of both worlds. Fascinating. I am reverse-engineering this technology in order to implement it in my quest to reanimate Yari. Nanomachines could perhaps become a reality.
On a side note, I believe I have fallen in love. There is this girl, you see. Her name is Anna. She is not only a xenopaleontologist but also a skilled programmer and she is of dutch descent, just like my ancestors. She is unlike the other girls I've met. I now often use security cameras and watch her during lunchtime. I like how she eats her crawler patties. She has her own special way of holding them and she makes quick little bites just like in the animes I watch when I am lonely. Her nose reminds me of a mouse. Her teeth and her ears too, as a matter of fact. She is a very mousy girl. I don't know if this whole paragraph was formulated correctly. It is difficult for me to express my feelings.
What I like the most is her scent, however. Aaah... she has this natural perfume... I can usually pinpoint fragrances easily, but Anna smells unlike anything I've smelled in the past. She smells like what I believe oranges would smell like if oranges still existed. Or maybe she smells like pumpkins? Both are exctinct now, so I have no idea. I have never been on the surface of Earth there is no data about this specific information in the terminals. Quite frustrating.
Day 7229: Anna and I
Anna and I are expecting! Indeed, a captive mudraptor is about to lay its eggs. As for Anna, I am still trying to find an opportunity to introduce myself correctly to her. Sometimes, I think she looks my way, but I cannot confirm yet. One day I tried to talk to her, but perhaps it wasn't the best idea to do so while being attacked by a swarm of threshers. The submarine was almost completely flooded too, so maybe she didn't hear me underwater. I noticed that she has remarquable pulmonary capacities, being able to hold her breath for many minutes without a diving mask. She was beautiful while submerged. While her crimson hair was ondulating like exotic algae, I caught myself thinking about the Nereids of ancient Greek mythology...
Father contacted me two days ago. He says my lack of progress is making him reconsider his investment on me. I must not disappoint Father. Yari depends on me.
Day 7303: Met with Father today
I had an appointment with Father today in regards to my scientific research. It was very strange. He listened to everything I had to tell him, then he congratulated me and offered me a drink. I do not remember the last time Father was supportive of my efforts. I guess he has finally realized that I am not the failure he thought I was. He took great pride in learning that I was dating Anna. Well, that is actually wishful thinking... I have yet to talk to her, but a little lie never hurt anyone, even if the lie is mainly designed for myself. Father told me that he feels old and wants to let me and Junior take over. He is giving my brother command of most of Henk Corp but gives me control of many facilities which I find quite satisfactory considering I am not interested in handling the business and would rather concentrate on the scientific aspect of Henk Corp.
We spent most of the afternoon watching over the workers at the local factory. For a brief moment, I felt like I was his only son. He and I agreed to talk more regularly now.
Day 7389: Father's news
Today, we had our now-weekly father and son time. After discussing trivial subjects, Father told me he has lung cancer. Stage four. Just when we were finally reunited, this happens! Luckily, my research has gone a long way since my humble beginnings. I have told him that we can potentially get rid of this cancer thanks to the medical discoveries we are making day after day within the Zhakarov's laboratories. I have a brand new pair of lungs ready for him. Well, I don't have it now, but I'll get it somehow... it's just a matter of logistics. I will make a list of potential, most likely unwilling transplant volunteers tomorrow. There must be someone aboard the Zhakarov who could be a fitting choice.
Day 7401: About Anna
Unable to resist the temptation, I used my priority access card and perused Anna's private information in order to learn more about her. I wanted to be able to bring topics that would spark her interest in me. It turns out she is dating someone else.
His name is Chad. Yes, Chad... what a grotesque etiquette for a human being. And he is a mechanic. A mechanic! Of all available mates! A glorified plumber! A baseball cap-wearing cretin! A ballast rat, no less! What could she find in him? I cannot make any sense out of this reasoning. It's entirely illogical. Furthermore, he is a Henk Corp employee, currently at sea in another sub. I will have him fired somehow. I cannot suffer that this man is under our care.
Day 7403: A change of mind
My initial reaction was emotional and not worthy of a scientist. Thanks, once again, to haloperidol, I now have clearer thoughts. Instead of firing Chad, I have given his captain a mission. As head scientist, I have certain powers which allow me to surpass initial orders should I have a task of utmost importance that needs to be dealt with quickly. Four days ago, we lost contact with another submarine, GRFTR-3. G-3's team was investigating a fallen ship and within the chaos that comprised the last transmission, I have realized they had encountered a dreaded thalamus wreck. Considering that the thalamus normally attacks from underneath, my calculations are that Chad, being the ballast rat that he is, should be located near the lower half of the sub when it is attacked. The probabilities of death, according to my algorythms, are of approximately 98.895 percent. I reckon Anna's ill-selected lover will be taken care of by the atrocities that lie in the darknest of Europa.
Day 7498: Father's condition is worsening
Once again, Father has paid me a visit. This time, he is prolonging his stay. He does not feel very well. I showed him the few technological advances we have made so far, but his lung capacities are in rapid decline and he gets tired very quickly. It is very unfortunate that none of the available crewmembers could be transplant subjects for him. I believe he has perhaps nine to twelve months to live, but chances are we will find a donor in a nearby outpost.
He has decided to stay with me, arguing that the wetness of the air and the thorough ventilation of the submarine appear to have a beneficial effect. I highly doubt that is the case, but deep inside I am glad to have him stay by my side. I see more value in his thoughts now that he sees some in mine. I wish he would stop smoking that stupid tobacco, however! He is so stubborn sometimes. His poor health did not stop him from visiting the entire ship, making sure everything was in accordance with Henk Corp safety standards. He was most impressed with the work I have done on professor Yari. After a series of surgeries which involved a considerable amount of medical items which includes antibiotics and plastiseal, I can now proudly say that I have reconstructed most of his body. Furthermore, his internal organs are operational, and his true recovery process will be underway in a couple of weeks. Yes indeed, I will soon be able to revive him.
Me and Father have talked about life after death. He spoke out loud of his dream of being immortal. I would wish to make this dream come true. Then, Father would surely love me even more. I may be close to something, I will have to do additional experiments. To be continued.
PS: As for Chad, no updates so far. No news is good news, right?
Day 7530: Chad is dead
The law of probability always prevails. Chad has been taken by whatever was down there in the abyss. It was a rather costly journey, however. With Chad, a whole submarine – along with its entire crew, obviously – was destroyed.
Anna is inconsolable. Predictable I guess for a female, but rather upsetting for a woman of science. I must admit even my beloved Anna has her flaws. Remembering my mistakes with Dr. De La Croix, I tried to cheer her up, saying Chad must have been paralysed by leucocytes before dying, allowing him to be fully aware of his last living minutes without feeling any pain, but I guess that also came out wrong. She slapped me in front of everyone and called me many things I will not repeat for her sake. Needless to say, I expect her to fall in love with me within the next forty-eight hours or else my love for her will be no more.
Day 7649: Anna is dead
Well, many things happened. I must admit I haven't been able to keep track of time. I lost myself in a bit of... an excess of rage, you see. I asked for my diary, they just gave it to me and I have nothing else to do, so here we go.
First, professor Yari is deceased. No, wait. I should rephrase this. He was murdered. I visited the laboratories at night like I always do. Suddenly, I realized something was wrong. His preservation capsule had been sabotaged. The tubes sustaining his life were cut and the machines which normally would make an alarm resonate throughout the vessel were unwired. I don't know how much time I spent trying to revive him somehow. All that I know is that a security officer eventually came and separated me from Yari's lifeless body, stunning me with his electric baton. I could hear Father yelling, but it's all very blurry in my mind, to be honest. I do remember that I was tied up on the medical bed and injected with various drugs to calm me down. I am still quite numb at the moment. That is most likely why I sound so formal about all of this.
That was perhaps ten days ago. I am still in the same room. They don't let me go outside. Father says they need to clean the room first, to make sure there is no DNA left. He looks even weaker than before.
He has given me a holodisc of a recording. The security camera captured most of what happened after I discovered the professor. Curiosity got the best out of me, as always. After taking a breath, I inserted the disc in the nearby hologram slot and I pushed the play button. Despite the mental trauma and the drugs, I still remembered that Anna was the culprit. She's the one who took prof Yari's life. It makes sense, I assume. Given how great she is with computers, I guess she somehow found out that I had sent her loverboy on a suicide mission. I took the person she loved and she did the same to me. I did not think her to be capable of such a thing, but she was the only one with the required ID card allowing her to enter the laboratory without me being in it first. Only she could do it. There is no one else.
It appears that the camera was hacked during the sabotage of Yari's capsule – which comes to no surprises since Anna was an expert programmer – but the recording was resumed shortly after. I can be seen entering the lab and noticing the inactive state of Yari's tank. I remove him from it with a crowbar, try to perform CPR, inject him with adrenaline, morphine or whatever it is that I could get my hands on. Yari is clearly already dead, but in my madness I seem to believe he can be brought back to life. I hold his head in my arms, close to my heart. More than four hours pass until two scientists enter. I would assume this is early morning. One of them is Anna. They too try to revive Yari under my orders. I stand up and look at my feet for an extended period of time. Then, I move directly towards the crowbar. I stopped viewing the film shortly after when it was clear that Anna was not moving except from when I would hit her. A shattered skull fragment even hit the camera lens at some point.
Perhaps is it better that way. Now, I don't have to waste my time following Anna around. I can entirely focus on my research, help Father, concentrate on what truly matters. Well, that is what Father told me. He must be right. Besides, getting back to work will allow me to make new discoveries on life-extending technologies.
Day 7656: I killed Yari
Father came back with two new holodiscs. The first one shows Anna sleeping on her bunk bed throughout the entire night. The second one is only a few seconds long and demands eye concentration, but features the reflection of a face on Yari's capsule moments before it is unwired. My face.
I don't know how many times I have zoomed in and out both recordings. I played them over and over again in disbelief. I took the discs in my hands, looked at their surfaces, wondering what kind of trickery this was. Yet, it is there. The indubitable proof I have murdered Yari.
It would seem that I have hacked the camera myself, digitally removed my body but forgot about the glass reflection.
As for why I did it... Father explained it to me a few hours later. Apparently, I have underestimated the powers of an alien artifact I was studying. Or should I say I overestimated the power of my brain? What a terrifying thought indeed, to think that I, Doctor Henk, the most brilliant mind on Europa, I could be subjected to some type of delirium? Still, this is the sole explanation that I can think of. The holograms do not lie.
I feel nothing. I am still heavily medicated, after all. Maybe it is better that way. Deep inside, it was my dream all along not to have stupid emotions clashing with my daily life. Besides, if it is indeed the alien artifact that did this to me, what can I do about it? I cannot go back.
Yari was old and I have surpassed him in every way a long time ago. Anna did not love me and my love for her was the only thing that gave her life a meaning. It was Yari's time and Anna was of no significance the day she hit me. Those are the thoughts I keep repeating in my head. Both of them are better wherever they are – in the stomachs of some crawlers I guess, since their remains were jettisoned I don't know where.
Father told me that they recently found an organ donor and that he needs me to get back to my senses so we can proceed with the operation. I have failed Yari, Anna and myself, but I will not fail Father.
Day 7701: Back to work
I was finally granted freedom a short time ago. Everyday, me and Father spend time together. We have grown closer than ever. He is bedridden now, being too weak to even stand up. After visiting an outpost and restocking on crucial components, I now have gathered everything required for Father's operation. It will involve many days of extensive surgery. It is a challenge, but my calculations indicate that he has an astounding fifty-three percent chances of survival. All the sub's ressources will be focused on this historic event. I must remove all the "infected" blood from Father's body and substitute it with a new synthetic blood of my own invention which will facilitate the organ transplantation. If everything proceeds as I have foreseen, the nanomachines that will be present in this new blood will prove to be a major scientific breakthrough.
Day 7717: THE LAST ENTRY
The following is a recorded audio conversation. It's the last recording contained within this logbook.
« Father, can you hear me? It is I, Doctor Henk! You have successfully survived the operation. The nanomachines are working, healing you as we speak! Soon you will know what it is to be... immortal!
— H–henk? W–why is my face covered with bandages?
— Ha–ha! I was expecting that you would ask this question. You see, Father, after curing you from your cancer and everything, I thought you would like a little surprise! So, I have given you new eyes. But they are not ordinary eyes, oh no! They are advanced, technologically augmented eyes!
— I never asked for this!
— I know, Father, but think of it as a present. Since I was done with the cancer, I thought, "Hey, why not add those eyes I've been working on in my spare time?". You can now see many things; if you think of heat, you will turn on heat vision; if you think of the crew, you will see crewmembers everywhere – see, it is very handy to implement ID chips in the cerebral cortex, now all ID chipped crewmembers are visible, even behind walls! Oh, and if you have naughty thoughts, you can see through clothes, hahaha! Isn't it exciting?
— Mirror.
— What?
— MIRROR!
— A what? Ah... Yes, yes, there you go, Father.
— W–w-what... the. I'm going to kill you.
— Yes! Hahaha... What?
— Nevermind. Henk, I want to get up.
— I am afraid you are not stable enough to leave your bed, Father. It will require many weeks before you are capable of standing up again.
— Henk. You have butchered my face with those nonsensical augmentations. I look like a fucking circus freak. Why the hell would I want to see through walls when I already know what happens everywhere whenever I want to? Did you forget who I am? Did you forget that your father is the most powerful man on this moon? Fuck's sake... Give me some steroids, hyperzine or something so I can get back up.
— But, Father!
— Shut up! I can see all those flasks on the shelves up there.
— What? There is no shelf. Ah! You speak of the locker. It appears your vision is set to see through things already. Isn't it fun? Why don't you like this most exquisite gift from me, your son, Doctor Henk?
— BECAUSE IT'S USELESS TO ME, YOU CRETIN! Henk! Just give me a shot.
— Father, it's–
— DO IT!
— Very well... I need to find the right key however.
— To think that you would do something like this. By the Wastes, Henk, when I ask for something, I don't want anything else. You know me well enough to know this.
— Ah! There is the key. In a minute, Father!
— Quickly.
— Here we go, Father. Allow me to concuct a super boost drug that will allow you to feel young again. I just need more steroids, adrenalin, fentanyl, hyperzine, perha–
— Can you stop talking and just get to work? I really don't want to hear your insufferable reptilian voice right now.
— Understood, Father.
— Good.
— Alright, it is prepared. I have queued a few more doses, just in case. And here comes the syringe, it might sting a bit.
— Excellent... I can already move a bit, help me sit on the bed please. Like this. Good. I already feel my strength coming back. Let me try standing up... Ah!
— Be careful, Father! You may be immortal, but you can still injure yourself! But, ha–ha! Look how strong you are, standing straight like an arrow! It is as if you are twenty years old again! I surpassed my own self! The nanomachines are doing a wonderful work! Look, your wounds are already healing! Incredible! Fantastic! Superb! Excellent! Magnificent!
— Just fabricate me those extra doses, Henk, will you?
— Very well... Here, Father.
— Good, good. So I am free to go now?
— Yes, Father.
— Excellent. Before I go, I have to tell you something.
— Yes?
— It may come as a shock, but I think you are ready and the time is right. It's about Anna. You didn't kill her. And you didn't kill Yaridovichnikovski either.
— What?
— You see, while you were wasting your time trying to revive the old man, I had a look at the crewmember files to see if there were people with compatible organs for my surgery. There were none, but then an idea struck my mind. I looked at the older files, the ones which included past employees. Turns out your professor was the only one who was fitting for the role. I personally unwired his tank, removed him with the help of some of your colleagues and had him ready for transplant. Today's transplant. It's quite unfortunate that Anna happened to enter the laboratory while we were working on him. She tried to to escape but I stopped her. I just had to.
— ... B–but, but t–the holograms? I saw... I was there! I remember... I think!
— What you saw was but a mere manipulation. A fabrication of reality. It was all staged. I am Henk Henkson. I own this submarine. I own everything. I own you. I had the film altered, son. I had you chloroformed in your sleep and gave you psychosis-inducing drugs. We made you believe in this fake scenario. I did this because the professor had become your chimera. And now he was in my path. Oh, don't give me that look. You know full well that if I would've asked for his sacrifice to ensure my survival, you would've refused. I know you had some kind of twisted, unnatural fascination with him. It didn't bother me much at first. You are free to love whoever you want, I guess, why would I care as long as you perform your duties? To be honest, I was relieved to see that you had a mentor so you could finally stop trying to vacuum my attention and I was even more satisfied when he was put in this big glass bottle so you could be doubly motivated and make some groundbreaking medical discoveries that would eventually benefit me. But, more recently, it had come to a point where he was directly competing against me. It was either him or me. It had to be me
— You killed Anna.
— Anna was collateral damage. Unfortunate, really. She was a decent Henk Corp employee. She could've made sense out of you if she loved you. But she hated you with a passion when she didn't outright fear you. In reality, it's a good thing that she's gone. Henk, you sent one of my submarines and my employees on a suicide mission. You sacrificed thousands of credits for a woman who never loved you. It was pure madness and it pleases me to see that it has come to an end.
— But the moments we spent together?
— Henk, I needed you. I needed you to survive. I knew the only way to get you to do things was to use a carrot on a stick. You've always been like this. When you were a child, it was the cookies. Now, it was the love of your father. You think you're so smart, yet you are so predictable. Let this be a lesson to you for the rest of your life. Don't let envy and desires affect your reasoning.
— But why? Why all this, Father?
— For humanity. For me. Now, I am immortal. With this power, I will take back Henk Corp from your brother and I will lead humanity for eternity. Humans have been asking for God's help ever since we have arrived here. I shall be their God. Don't even think about it. I can see your fists clenching in anger. I can see you want to hurt me, perhaps even kill me. If you try to do so, your life will be over way before mine. There are guards next door who are waiting for my call. Even I alone could take you down with this newfound strength you have given me. Henk, I have holographic proof that you have killed both Yari and Anna. I don't need you anymore. I now want you to resign as head scientist. I will send you far away to a lone station where you will study things by yourself. You are a particularly brilliant man, but you are unstable, dangerous and quite frankly insane. You can't be trusted around anyone and you are a risk to Henk Corp's overall integrity. If you ever cross me again, the holograms will be given to the authorities, you will be arrested and executed for the murders of those two individuals.
— Why tell me now?
— Oh well, I could've let you believe in this imaginary tale, but I needed leverage over you. If I didn't tell you, you would keep buggering me for this and that. How annoying that would be. Now that we both know the truth, we both know what to do. I will go back to my seat as chairman and you will be isolated. And all will be good in the world. Don't worry, I'll give you challenging research projects when you arrive at the station.
— You... Father, it was your plan long ago, yes? To make "Doctor Henk". To make me study so that I can one day make you immortal. You planned this even before I was born?
— Yes. Yes I did. I knew you would be smart enough to come up with this conclusion. Deep inside, I bet you knew it all along many years ago. Yes, I can see it in your eyes. You were a tool to me. A formidable tool. You should be honored, really. You had a destiny. You had a purpose. It's more than what most humans can hope for on Europa. Yari, Anna, neither had a reason to live. Their existence was meaningless. They will be replaced and no one will miss them. They will be forgotten. You, on the other hand, conceived a God.
— ... Only I can call him Yari.
— Ah yes... I did pay him so that he would befriend you. Verily, he hated being around you. I had to pay him double so he could agree to teach you. And when you were extra clingy, he had bonuses.
— ... Very well... I see... did you hear all that?
— Hear what?
— Yes, brother, I heard everything.
— An hologram transmission, here? Junior? Is that you? What is this, a set up?
— Yes, dad, it's me, "Junior". You see, I have learned great many things from you and I am now putting that knowledge to the test. Right before the surgery, I placed hidden cameras and recording devices in the room under Doctor Henk's supervision. He didn't believe in anything I told him. He fully trusted you. But, you see, I didn't. I never did. I assume it takes one to know one. You taught me well, dad. But I digress. I've seen how you changed your ways with my little brother some time ago and it caught my attention. I didn't know what you were up to until very recently when you foolishly gave me the powers of Henk Corp, thinking you were going to die before Doctor would find a way to secure your immortality. It was a moment of weakness that I will cherish for the rest of my life, for it gave me access to countless mainframes of data. For example, I spent days browsing your europanet history. Besides discovering your rather... peculiar chimp fetishes, I noticed how recurrent the themes of immortality or bioengineering were in your readings and I couldn't help but notice that Doctor was working on several things that all pointed out to those particular subjects. Your selfishness is what ultimately leads you to a dead end, I'm afraid. No man will ever be God, especially not on Europa. Europa is hell. God does not belong in hell.
— What? This is grotesque! Doctor!
— I am sorry, Father, but immortality is not yet achieved. Even I, Doctor Henk, have my limits. In order to reach such a level, it would require many more years, perhaps decades, perhaps a century. Perhaps it will never be reached. Even the ancient alien species that built the ruins, however superior they might have been to us, are all dead and gone. I am afraid the nanomachines have to be maintained periodically. You could technically be immortal, but the nanomachines aren't. You will need constant maintenance, just like a robot or a submarine. What I just injected you with is actually an accelerant. It makes the nanomachines work very quickly but also wears them down at exponential speeds. At this very moment, they are dying and must be replaced, otherwise you will die along with them. You could say that you have been cured by a poison, and now you need an antidote which will eventually become poison again. An antidote I have yet to conceive in the medical fabricator.
— Well, "conceive" one, damn it!
— No. I have heard enough. What about you, big brother?
— I too have heard enough. Doctor, leave the room now. You have much to do as head scientist and newly appointed vice-president of Henk Corp.
— Of course.
— BOTH OF YOU! You are making a big mistake! The guards are behind this door! GUARDS! GUARDS!
— I'm afraid the security officers were replaced, old man. Their working shift ended some time ago. Coincidentally, at the same time, their life ended as well. Now, it is my men who have taken their place and they will only act under my command.
— OPEN THE DOOR! DOCTOR! JUNIOR! I... I am... I'm–
— What you are feeling, sir, is death. Don't bother with the door. It's locked and you have no ID on you to open it. You will now begin to feel something no one has ever felt. You wanted to be God. Now, you will at least know how it is when a God dies. My little brother told me it might feel like your soul is decomposing. You will basically rot from the inside. Your organs will implode. Your muscles will contract, twist and turn like a squeezed wet towel. Your brain and nervous system – where most of the nanomachines are located – will transfer all this information for as long as possible until they too are deactivated. I would guess you are now experiencing the most horrible, most excruciating death in recorded human history. Congratulations for leaving yet another mark, or whatever it is that you liked to do.
— S–son... I... Urk... arr...
— Goodbye, "Father". »