Even before he got partially sucked through the portal during the first test, Fiddleford had known that building the horrible thing was a mistake.

Heck, even before they released the test dummy and he realized too late that the rope was wrapped around his wrist, he'd known it was a mistake.

Oh, sure, it seemed like a good idea at first: make a little extra money for his family, spend time with an old friend from college who he'd fallen out of contact with, explore the mysteries of the universe-until he saw that said friend was rapidly turning into an obsessed lunatic who kept acting not quite himself (something about his eyes and voice kept seeming kind of off) and was willing to do anything and everything if it meant completing this increasingly-dangerous project. The only reason why he'd stayed and worked on it for this long after realizing what it would really be like was because he was worried about what would happen to Ford if he left the idjit to work on it himself.

Now, as he lay on his back on the cold basement floor and tried his hardest to block out what he'd just seen in there-as he muttered terrified gibberish and struggled to reassemble the shattered fragments of his mind-he knew that he was paying the price for his foolishness.

Through the all-consuming terror that was making his heart race like a hamster on a wheel, he could vaguely hear Ford asking for details about what he'd seen in the portal, asking him to get ahold of himself. Not even bothering to ask if he was all right.

And somehow, that was the last straw.

"This machine is dangerous!" Fiddleford snapped, finally looking directly at his friend, if such he could still be called. "You'll bring about the end of the world with this! Destroy it before it destroys us all!" He grabbed Ford's shoulders and shook them, in one final attempt to get that fact through his thick skull.

Ford looked at him like he was the one who had lost his wits. "I can't destroy this, it's my life's work!"

Oh, for cryin'-don't you ever think about anything except your precious 'life's work'?! Why can't you just listen to me for once!

For another moment, Fiddleford wanted to try to scream some sense into him-but he realized that it wouldn't do any good. Whatever had prompted Ford to build this cursed machine had its hooks in him, and he'd done what he could to help him out of it, but...it wasn't good enough. And he was tired of trying.

Fiddleford released Ford's shoulders, and slumped to the floor in defeat. "I fear we've unleashed a grave danger on the world-one I'd just as soon forget." Just by saying that word, he could already feel his fingers itching for the memory gun so he could drive away the eldritch horror that had assaulted his vision, replacing it with simple, mindless bliss. "I quit!"

In many parts of the multiverse, that was that. Fiddleford got up and left, and Ford yelled indignantly after him that he didn't need him and would handle this himself, and eventually Fiddleford destroyed his own mind by erasing bits of it too many times and it was thirty years before he remembered what had happened again.

In this one, however, Ford didn't give up quite so easily.

"You can't!" Suddenly Ford was blocking his path and shoving him back. "Fiddleford, you don't understand-it's not what you think! Whatever you experienced in there, I'm sure it can't be the full story-"

"You don't even know what I saw! Now get outta my way, Stanford!" Fiddleford's ire rose, and he tried to shove Ford out of his path again.

He was stronger than he looked, thanks to his childhood on the farm, but Ford pushed back with the tenacity of the desperate.

"Fiddleford, please!"

"Let me go, ya stupid cockamamie varmint-!"

In the struggle, Fiddleford was shoved back across the yellow line.

They both realized just a second too late that the portal was still hungry.

"Stanford!" Fiddleford clawed helplessly at the air as he was sucked back towards the terrible glowing maw, anger instantly replaced by frantic desperation; no no no please not again don't send me back in there PLEASE. "Stanford, help!"

"Hold on!" Ford lunged towards the big red shutdown button just as Fiddleford's head and shoulders started to disappear inside again-but then something grabbed him, and pulled him the rest of the way through in one swift tug.

The last Ford saw of his friend was one long, pale hand, grasping desperately at empty air.

It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a dream.

The mantra repeated over and over in Fiddleford's terrified mind as the blue-green behemoth with a giant keyhole shape etched into his forehead stared down at the prey he was now clutching in his fist.

"...This is the guy Bill's been working over, right?" he asked, looking to his companion, a green goblin-like figure (no, not the green goblin you're probably thinking of right about now) with 8-balls in place of eyes.

The 8-balls focused on Fiddleford, and after a second their owner shook his head. "No, this is a different meat sack. Not enough fingers."

Keyhole brightened. "Then can I eat it?"

8 Ball rubbed his chin thoughtfully, and then shrugged. "I don't see why not."

It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a dream-

The fist started to rise slowly towards Keyhole's hungry mouth-until his wrist was suddenly grabbed.

"Wait a minute, I want half!" 8 Ball demanded, tugging.

Keyhole squawked indignantly. "Hey, get your own!" He tried to jerk his arm free, but 8 Ball gave a more insistent tug.

"C'mon, I'm starving!"

"Leggo, ya big jerk, it's mine-!"

In the midst of the scuffle his grip loosened, and his prey fell free, tumbling wildly through the air.

Neither of them noticed until it was too late, and he had already disappeared.

IT'S JUST A DREAM IT'S JUST A DREAM IT'S JUST A DREAM

Fiddleford had landed hard in the crater of what appeared to be a common C-type asteroid (Was he in space? If so, how was he able to breathe?), temporarily knocking the wind out of him.

For a moment all he could do was lie there, staring vacantly at the crater wall in front of him, vaguely registering that there appeared to be a few openings in the side of it that looked a lot like cavern openings. He wished he had his glasses so he could see them better, instead of as the shapeless blobs they kind of looked like right now.

At last he received the strength to sit up, wincing as he jostled what seemed to be every bruise that the left side of his body had gained upon impact. Then a deafening roar from somewhere off in the distance sent him scrambling forward to dive into the nearest cave, where he immediately curled up into a shivering ball.

It's just a dream it's just a dream it's just a dream it's just a dream any minute now you're going to wake up and be back in the cabin with Ford waitin' fer you ta wake up so you can get back to work-or better yet, back home in Palo Alto with Em and Tate, and you never went to Gravity Falls in the first place.

Heck, even waking up in the hospital or in a straitjacket'd be pretty okay right now, cuz it'd mean I wouldn't be here.

Fiddleford pulled his lab coat around himself as best he could, and tried not to whimper too loudly.

It'd all be okay, it was just a dream.

It had to be just a dream.

Oh, sorry, did you think this was gonna be another story where Stan goes through the portal?

Whoopsie!