Inspired by "Jesse's Girl" by Richard Springfield. I do not own HP or the song. No copyright was infringed upon as I make no money in writing and posting this.

A/N: This is my second song inspired fic. I have one more, which will be longer inspired by "Just give me a reason" by P!nk. That will likely be my last one, but who knows. Music has always been extremely inspirational for me. Anyway, enjoy.

He Got Himself a Girl

Harry was confused. He was somehow happy, peeved, annoyed and jealous at the same time. But mostly confused. He did know why the sight in front of him came with so many emotions all at once and being who he was, a child raised in a loveless, emotionally bereft home, he was ill equipped to deal with this current maelstrom. The most difficult part was he would usually go to Hermione with this. She would be able to sort everything out and explain what, and likely why, he was feeling the way he was. She was always able to fix his emotional stuntedness. Stuntedness was that even a word. Hermione would know. But anyway, that avenue did not seem feasible as Hermione seemed to be at the center of his current dilemma.

He again looked over to the armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. His best friends were playing chess. Nothing too out of the ordinary even if the pieces did move on their own and try to kill each other. No, the issue was the position of the players in relation to each other. Instead of facing off on opposite sides of the board, staring each other down or scowling at the board as was proper, Hermione was rather snuggly nestled into his other best friend's lap. And she was definitely not scowling. No she was watching him those eyes of hers. Big, brown, beautiful eyes.

This was the scene causing such mixed emotions. Maybe if he could go through each emotion individually, he could figure this out on his own. Ok he just had to channel his inner Hermione. His inner voice sometimes sounded like Hermione. That wasn't weird, right? He was happy. Yes, happy for his friends. They were finally together. Ron was a good friend, his best friend. He had changed recently, seemingly due to his relationship with this girl. He was mellower, less quick to anger and just seemed to mature. He seemed happy which in turn made Harry happy for him. Ok, one down. Next he was peeved, not angry per say just well peeved. In light of this new relationship his best friends had been spending more time together alone. And even when they were all together, they somehow weren't and well he was feeling ignored and hence peeved. Whew, on a roll. Annoyed. Mostly when they'd start talking cute. It made him feel dirty for some reason. It was like he was playing some charade or they were, but kept getting too distracted by each other to give the proper clues and Harry was lost trying to guess. This sort of lead into the jealous emotion.

Well, all the previous emotions had an edge of jealousy, but it felt like there was something else. Something just below the surface. This one would be harder. So he was a bit jealous of the time the two spend together and the intimacy they seemed to share and well Hermione was an amazing women. Beautiful, intelligent, kind, caring, loyal, he could go on forever. Okay, not forever, but a good 15 minutes at least…maybe 30. Where could he find a woman like that?

Wait, come to think of it, he never cared before when Ron spend all his time with Lavender and there was definitely intimacy. Which they had no problem showing to everyone…in the hallways, the great hall, the common room, the quad, by the lake…well, you get the picture. Yep, no jealousy there. Maybe some annoyance, I mean Won-Won, really, come on.

Okay so no jealousy with Ron's previous relationship, so why this nagging feeling now. Hermione had never really had any boyfriends before, at least not here at Hogwarts. He wasn't sure about the summers. But thinking about it, he did get irked by the attention some of the guys paid Hermione, not that she ever noticed. Brilliant, but oblivious, that one. But that was just because he felt protective of her. Like a sister, right? Only now the thought of her in some summer liaison was causing a hollow, sucking sensation to occur in his chest. Yeah, definitely NOT like feelings for a sister. But then what did that mean. Images of his friends together in private started to flash though his mind. Ron holding her late at night. Hermione loving him with her body. Oh Merlin, now he was jealous and aroused. Thinking of Hermione naked made him aroused, but that was just because she was now a naked girl in his head and he was a seventeen year old guy. To prove his point he pictured several of the attractive girls in his class naked. Definitely a healthy seventeen year old. Great. Hrmm, naked girl = arousal, check. Various naked girls with various guys not himself = still aroused, no jealousy. Ron specifically with naked girl, not Hermione = arousal but somewhat dimmed 'cause now he had a naked Ron in his head, but still no jealousy. So now naked Hermione with any guy, including Ron, excluding himself = mild arousal (naked Hermione) and white hot burning jealousy. Bollocks. Last one, naked Hermione with naked himself = (system failure)…..Sorry had to wait for brain reboot. That image would be fueling his next Patronus and tomorrow's shower.

Well that cleared up the confusion. He was attracted to his best female friend. He reviewed the past several years with her in his head (with her clothes on, unfortunately). He realized he was not just attracted to her, he was in love with her. He wanted to tell her, but as he remembered the situation, glancing at this armchair as a reminder, he realized the point was now moot. She was with Ron, probably in love with him, if her eyes and body language were any indication. It suddenly felt like someone reached down his throat, tore into his chest from the inside, and started to squeeze all the blood out of his heart.

On the other side of the room, several things were taking place. Hermione was indeed nestled snuggly in Ron's lap and they were whispering secretively, but not the sweet nothings their position seemed to imply.

"I think it's finally working"

"Really, I thought we might have to actual get married and have children before he realized."

"Yeah, I can practically see the wheels in his head turning. Is he picturing us naked?"

"Based on the look on his face, I'd say he is now picturing several people naked. Oh, I think he finally got to you and him naked together. Remind me to wipe the drool off the table later."

"Okay, I think he is back in the world of the living. There! I think he's finally got it. Huh, who knew for magical people an actual lightbulb would go off above their head. Interesting, I wonder if it would be a candle or lantern for a non muggle-raised."

"Okay, he has the 'just ripped my heart out' expression now. That's my cue. Hey Harry, it's getting late, we should probably say goodnight and head up to our dorm."

"Um, yeah sure. 'Night, Mione."

"Goodnight Harry, Ron. See you both in the morning."

Once they were in bed after finishing their nightly routine, Harry couldn't seem to stop thinking about his current predicament. He had finally sorted out his feelings and emotions (all on his own for once) and now he seemed to be worse off. Ignorance really was bliss.

"Harry, I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"Hermione and I aren't really together. Don't get angry, but well, we thought if we pretended to get together, you would finally realize your true feelings."

"What?! But you guys has been dancing around each other for years. I mean wasn't all that bickering like sexual tension or something."

"Um, no. It was just bickering 'cause, well, she's Hermione and I'm, well…me."

"But you've changed since you guys have been together. Like she made you a better person. Uh, I mean, not that you were bad or erm…"

"Nah, it's cool. We had a really long talk and she kind of set me straight and well told me I needed to grow up and stuff. I mean I think once I stopped trying to see us together and realized we were better as just friends, everything sort of fell into place. She's kinda helping me get the girl I want to. I mean looking back on it all, I realized she's been in love with you since pretty much first year and well, I kept thinking she and I should get together and subconsciously knowing deep down she was in love with someone else made me act jealous and petty. Once I let that go and looked at how things really were, not how I saw them to be…well, it's like…I don't know. Freeing or something. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know. Yeah, I love Hermione but like a friend or a sister. And actually having a sister, I know the difference, unlike some people in this room."

"Hermione is in love with me?"

"Obviously."

Harry closed his eyes and relaxed with that statement. As he drifted off to sleep, he couldn't quite get the image of naked Hermione out of his mind. Not that he minded. All and all it led to a very pleasant if somewhat less restful night.

He awoke the next morning and as promised Hermione did make an appearance in the shower. As he walked down to the common room, he was now in a great mood. The sun was out, the birds were chirping and all that. He noticed Hermione at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him. She really was quite beautiful. However, before he could comment on her appearance or even greet her properly, sounds started to rapidly reach his ears. She was apparently speaking, well possibly rambling, it was difficult to tell as he was quite fixated on her lips.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I know I shouldn't have lied to you. Well, not really lied, per se, just, you know, pretended. It was just a little acting really. I mean maybe there was some deception but not with any ill intend of course. Just to, well, open your eyes a bit to certain possibilities. But of course the 'road to hell is paved with good intentions' and all that. Maybe, I should have just told you how I felt, but well I was a bit of coward. Not very Gryffindor of me really. I mean I've loved you for so long and well you never really seemed to see me that way. Or well, I thought you actually did, but with what those people put you through, you just didn't really understand your own feelings or what love is. I'm your person and you are mine. And well they say jealousy and envy are well…I actually don't know what they say. But I figured it is human nature to 'want what we can't have' and just worked off that. So, after I sat Ron down and expanded his emotional range from a teaspoon to a full tablespoon, we came up with this plan. You know he really is a very good tactician. We planned it all out very carefully, the looks, the touches, and we watched for your reaction. After the first few weeks, I thought it was hopeless and was just going to give up or at least try something different. I could never give up on you. You know that right? Well anyway, finally last night it seemed to finally have worked. Thankfully, I have spent enough time with you that I can pretty much read your thoughts on your face and in your body language. You know you had an actual lightbulb above your head. It was like a scene from a cartoon. No subtlety there. And I know Ron told you the truth about us last night. I hope you're not angry will me. I just love you so much and –"

Her lips were so pretty, full and the perfect shade of pink. They looked so soft.

"Harry? Harry, are you even listening to me. I said –"

Whatever was to follow would forever be lost to the unknown as in that moment a meteor - formerly a large asteroid, that had been travelling some distance and was never to do anything but pass several million miles by earth, had hit a piece of space junk, altering its trajectory to place it now on a collision course with earth - impacted the surface and instantaneously whipped out all life on earth as we know it. Oops, oh well.

The End….

Harry awoke with a gasp. His heart was still racing as his hands briskly patted his chest and torso. Oh Merlin, still alive. His mind raced as it recalled the events of the dream. Hermione. He just had the most vivid dream ever, and given his previous mental link via a horcrux to an evil dark wizard, that was saying something. The dream – he was jealous of Ron and Hermione, several images of naked Hermione, realizing he was in love with Hermione, Ron saying it was all an act, and then just as he was finally about to get the girl, the world up and explodes. He had to see her, he had to tell her before it was too late. His rational mind realized the likelihood of a meteor crashing to earth, without any forewarning, and destroying all life was pretty nil but his irrational mind vis a vis his heart was telling him to go to her without delay. He grabbed his glasses and rushed to the common room. As he was walking down the stairs he realized he had no idea what time it was and knew he couldn't get up to her dorm. Stupid bloody charmed staircase. Just as he thought he would probably have to wait until morning, he spotted a head of riotous curls just visible above the couch by the fireplace.

"Hermione?"

"Harry? What are you doing down here at this hour."

"I had a dream…it was so real. It started off well and even got really good at one point, then KABOOM! And I never got to tell you –"

"Tell me what? What did you want to tell me."

It was now or never. He briefly glanced out the window. Ok good, no oblivious meteors. "Hermione, I love you. Tonight, I realized I have loved you since first year. I just never understood what real love was. I think you love me too. You are the most amazing women I have ever met. You're my best friend and always will be, but I don't think I'll ever be completely happy unless you are not just my best friend, but my future. I want you to be my love and sometime soon, my wife and the mother of my children."

"Oh Harry. Of course I love you too. I feel like I have loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more."

As their lips met for the first time, Magic slumped in her chair, wiped her sweaty brow and let out a shaky breath. Oh my, that one took all my considerable skill to orchestrate. How could two people so in love be so … $*#% *&#$ *!. Do they even realize how hard shared mindscapes and alternate realities are to create. But not just this one, no this was her sixth try. SIXTH! Finally she just had to destroy the world to get them to come to the point. Thankfully she was good friends with Chronos and he owed her a special favor. A little twist here and spin there and poof. Space junk moved, disaster averted, and love conquers all (with a little help from Magic).

And of course they lived happily ever after.

A/N: Okay that one kind of got away from me a bit. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. With love, SM.