Cold Hearts and Damaged Souls

It was seven in the evening, a few hours after Alexander Thorne's first race, and Alex was now in his room, in a deep slump.

"Alex?" Pandora Pitstop walked into the room; the door had been left open a crack. "Alex, you won… aren't you happy?"

"Yeah… but racing isn't on my mind right now."

She sat next to him. "What's wrong?"

"I… It's not healthy to… to bottle it up. I wanna tell someone but… but people have spikes."

She gently took his hand. "I'm here," she whispered.

Alex sighed. "My father, he… he used to treat me like absolute garbage. He… he always told me how I wasn't good enough, and things like… like how I didn't deserve to live."

Pandora squeezed his hand.

"He was a raging alcoholic… he… he'd come home drunk and take his belt to me. When he got tired of that, he bought a cat-o-nine-tails."

"Alex…" she whispered, her eyes watering.

"I have scars on my back from him. I… I started cutting myself when I was eight. I went to live with my uncle and aunt after my father threw me out with nothing. 'You can't even kill yourself,' he said, 'I'm not upset you tried, I'm pissed because you failed.'"

Pandora held Alex, who was starting to cry, close and tightly.

"I tried to cut myself real deep, intending to finish myself off. They found me in the boy's room at school."

"You were how old?!"

"I was ten." He narrowed his eyes. "Before that, when I was nine, my… my mom went out to the garage, apparently to change her oil. Dad sent me out after a while to help her. I… I found her hanging from… from a rope."

Pandora gasped.

"I tried to help but… I wasn't strong enough to hold her up..,". His voice thickened. "I cut the rope but by that time…". He was crying.

Pandora stroked Alex's hair, trembling.

"I'm a fucking mistake, Pandora!"

She shook her head. "No," she cooed.

Alex closed his eyes. "I still have nightmares. I wake up screaming… when he kicked me out, he did it at gunpoint!"

"Was it loaded?!" she gasped.

Alex nodded. "Yeah…"

Pandora felt her heart breaking.

"You… you have to make things right with your sister… I know it's hard, but…"

"Why does Penny get all the love?" She sobbed. "I… I just want…". She cried as she held onto Alex for dear life. "I was my dad's favorite! I watched that race where he got in that crash and…"

Alex stroked Pandora's hair gently. "Shhh…" he whispered shakily. "Shhh, I'm here, no one's leaving…"

"Just… just focus on yourself, okay?" She sobbed. "You… you're hurting so badly!"

"I can't be selfish like that," he said thickly. "I can't watch you hurt like that." He smiled through his tears. "You're too beaut to be hurt," he said softly. "You're special… and you are loved." He cupped her face in his hands. "And I want you to know because… Pandora… I lo…"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Shhh…" she whispered tenderly. "Just hold me. Shhh…"

Alex rocked her gently, kissing her forehead. A few moments later, her body went limp as her breathing slowed.

Pandora had fallen asleep.