A/N: While we're waiting for tonight's episode.
He was looking at her.
She was standing with her back turned to him, and he was twenty feet away, but she could tell that he was looking.
He was twenty feet away, and yet it was like she could feel his breath on her neck.
"He's looking at you." Amanda leaned in and whispered.
"I know."
"You gonna talk to him?"
"Haven't decided yet." Olivia said before lifting the glass to her lips.
It was her third and she knew that if she went in for the fourth, her self-composure would falter quicker than he could say "you mean the world to me, Liv."
Fucking asshole.
"Want me to get you another drink?"
She looked down at her now empty glass.
"You trying to get me drunk?"
"Nah." Amanda shook her head momentarily.
"Trying to get you laid."
And then she headed for the bar.
Olivia's widened eyes followed her and she made a mental note to (slightly) berate the blonde when she came back. She didn't realize her mistake until she was fully turned around.
He was still looking at her, and now she knew for sure.
Their eyes met and like every fucking cliché ever written, the world around her disappeared. She wanted to snap out of it, wanted to look somewhere, anywhere else. But if she did, he would know the effect he had on her.
Can't, won't, let him win.
"Here."
"Huh?"
"Liv, drink."
"Oh, thanks."
She was still looking at him when she reached for the glass Amanda was holding.
"Ok, that's it. Come here." The blonde detective said as she grabbed Olivia's elbow and spun her around before heading for the door.
"What? What's going on?" Olivia asked when the door closed behind them.
"I've been watching this... whatever this is, for months now, and seriously, just get it out of your system."
"Ok, you're drunk and this conversation is over." Olivia scoffed while reaching for the handle.
"What are you so afraid of, Liv?"
"Excuse me?"
"With El, what's stopping you?"
Olivia felt defeat wash over her then. Amanda had somehow become that friend that she always needed but never really wanted because she was too fucking good at reading her.
"Everything. Nothing. I don't know."
"At least talk to him. But preferably something more, because the sexual tension is kinda tiresome."
"You really are drunk."
"Hey, I'd gladly help you out but Sonny might get jealous."
"Jesus, Rollins. Get some water." Olivia said with a stern voice, but she failed miserably at hiding her smirk.
"Go. Go inside and talk to him."
"I hate you."
"I love you, too."
Without noticing, she had emptied her fourth glass during her little dysfunctional heart to dysfunctional heart with Amanda.
Goodbye, self-composure.
Olivia was a strutter, and even without an ounce of confidence, that's exactly how she moved towards him.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself."
His blue eyes locked with her brown. Challenging her to see who would break the spell first.
"So, Fin is officially a married man."
Damnit, I lost.
"Who would've thought."
Ok, let's try this again.
She looked at him again.
Come on, El. Make small talk, show me you're uncomfortable.
"Wanna dance?"
Fuck you.
"Dance? You?"
"Hey, how hard can it be."
Well, I don't know about you, Stabler, but it might be the death of me.
"Ok. One dance."
Fingers laced together, his hand on her hip. Her hand on his back. Faces just inches apart.
May-fucking-day.
The clichés were back. There was only them right now. Them and that fucking song.
Does she know that we bleed the same?
Don't wanna cry but I break that way.
"You ok?" He whispered suddenly against her ear.
"Mhm."
"You're crying."
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Weddings."
He nodded in response.
In a desperate attempt to not notice how his body felt against hers, she forced herself to notice the room around them.
Focus on something else, Benson.
But the room wasn't helping.
Everyone was looking, at them.
"People are staring at us, El."
"They're probably waiting for us to start a fight."
"Is that what you want? To fight me?"
"No. Why? You wanna fight?"
"No. Kinda tired of it to be honest."
"Of what, Liv? Fighting me," he leaned in even closer, "or fighting this?"
Shit shit shit.
She swallowed, hard.
"Both."
Had he even heard her? Did she even say it out loud?
She must've, because he had stopped moving, and he was looking at her.
He was looking at her like he had done for thirteen years.
Except now, any sign of guilt or doubt was erased, swept away, and replaced with something else. Something she didn't even dare to make sense of.
"Room 607. 5 minutes."
And then he was gone.
Six zero seven. Six zero seven.
Before she knew what she was doing, she was standing by the bar.
After her fourth, she lost her self-composure.
After my fifth, I might lose my fucking mind.
"What just happened?" Amanda was suddenly right next her.
Olivia held out a finger as she emptied half the glass in one gulp.
"If anyone asks I'm outside talking to Lucy."
Just as Amanda was about to react, Olivia held out her hand again. "Don't. I swear to god, if you love your job, and your life, you will act like a normal human being right now."
"Yes, ma'am."
Olivia leaned in and kissed the blonde on the cheek. "Thank you."
And then she left the bar.
Six zero seven. Six zero seven.
She was standing outside his door and it felt like she was about to walk away from twenty three years and into something completely new. Something she had no idea how to navigate her way through.
She was surprised when he opened the door because she had no recollection of knocking.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself."
He held the door open for her and somehow she managed to walk inside without stumbling.
As soon as the door closed, she backed up against it. Not because he moved towards her, but because she was fucking terrified. Her heart pounded in her chest and she knew that he noticed how fast she was breathing.
"It's just me, Liv."
"If you think you're helping, you're not."
He moved a little closer.
"El..."
"Yeah?"
Fuck. She didn't know what to say next.
"How are you so calm?"
He took her hand then, and slowly he moved it up to his chest where he placed it over his heart.
It was racing.
Goodbye self-composure. Goodbye fucking mind.
He leaned in, a little closer now.
Closer. Closer. Close.
When his lips finally met hers, it made sense. Somehow, it made sense that they were in this hotel room, on this night, with twenty three years behind them. Somehow, it was always supposed to happen like this. Exactly like this.
She opened her mouth and his tongue instantly brushed against hers.
Her hands found his neck when his hands found her waist.
And then he leaned into her completely and the moan she'd been trying to hold back for several long seconds, no, twenty three years, escaped her lips.
"Jesus, Liv..."
Yes, Jesus is right. This is as religious as I'll ever get.
"El..." She breathed his name against his mouth. "I need...ugh..."
"What?"
"Touch me."
He moved his hand up, but it was too late for that already.
"No." She said as she grabbed his hand and moved it down.
"Fuck..." He whispered as he reached under her dress and let his fingers trail lightly over the skin on her thigh. It gave her goosebumps all over.
"Higher." She breathed out between a couple of short gasps.
He complied, but only by slightly moving his hand closer to her inner thigh.
His tongue brushed against her own again and this time she didn't even try to hold back her moan, and neither did he.
"Higher?"
She nodded vigorously, not caring if she seemed desperate or impatient. Because she was. And surely he had to be as hard as she was wet.
She wanted to reach between them to found out, but her hands were currently fisted in his shirt and she found it impossible to move.
"Higher?" She could hear the smirk in his voice.
Fuck you, El.
"Yes."
His fingers could touch the lace material of her underwear now, if he just moved is hand...
"Fuck."
She whimpered and arched against him, realizing that he, Elliot, was about to find out what he was doing to her, what effect he had on her, now, before, forever.
His short nails scraped lightly over her lace covered slit and her knees gave in then.
They couldn't keep standing, not if he was about to-
"Oh, god."
"Christ, Liv. You feel so good."
He was inside her panties now, moving his fingers through wet folds, mapping her in every way possible.
She couldn't take it.
Somehow she managed to move a hand between them and towards his belt buckle. She gave it a little tug. "Off."
Suddenly she wasn't up against the door. He had spun them around and they were moving towards the bed.
When she realized he was unbuckling his belt, she reached for the side zipper on her dress. As soon as the soft material fell to the floor she started working on his shirt so fast that she didn't have time to grapple with the fact that she was standing in front of Elliot in just her underwear.
Finally, finally, he was down to only his boxers and she got the answer she needed. He was most definitely as hard as she was wet.
"Fuck..."
And then she was on her back and he was pressed between her legs.
"El... I can't..."
"What?"
"I need... ugh..."
He pushed his hips down and his pelvis against hers. "This? Is this what you need?"
Fuck, I'm gonna come.
They had barely touched each other and she was already on the edge.
It was infuriating and maddening and so fucking good.
He kept pushing into her, her underwear totally ruined at this point.
"No, El... You gotta... fuck."
She couldn't help it. She rocked her hips against him and as he closed his teeth around a particularly sensitive spot on her neck she cried out.
Her unexpected release spurred him on.
She didn't even have time to recover before he had pulled down his boxer, and was tugging at her underwear.
"Do you... do you need to slow down?" He asked when her panties were halfway down her thighs.
"God, no."
"Good."
And that was the last word he said before he positioned himself between her legs.
"El... look at me."
She reached down between them and grabbed him, watched as his eyes closed and opened again while she slowly placed him at her entrance.
With their eyes locked, he filled her steadily and gradually.
She pursed her lips, focusing on the delicious pain he was causing.
"You good?"
"Mhm." She nodded quickly as her hands came down his back. "Move."
He reached behind his back then and moved one of her hands over her head, her fingers laced with his.
"Fuck me, El."
The look on his face told her one thing and one thing only.
He had waited twenty three years to hear those words.
And finally, he started to move. Slowly at first, pulling halfway out before sinking back in, but it didn't take long before he was slamming into her.
She knew he wouldn't last long and neither would she. They had never been meant for that kind of love. They needed to go all in, quick, fast, because everything else between them had been dragged out for too long.
And tonight they had both reached their limits. Finally.
"Liv..."
"I know."
She didn't really know what she was agreeing to. Him coming inside of her? Elliot loving her? It didn't matter. At all.
She arched her back, came up to meet every thrust, until everything suddenly turned frantic.
"Fuck-k!" She cried out against his shoulder. And he hastily moved his head to align his lips with hers when he felt her clench around him.
"Kiss me." He panted.
She couldn't, she was gasping. But she moved her mouth closer to his and let him fill it with his tongue as he emptied herself inside of her.
Just when she thought her climax had completely subsided he jerked his hips one last time and she cried out his name.
"Shit..." He said as he collapsed on top of her, pinning her completely to the soft mattress.
"Yeah..."
For a while they stayed just like that, neither of them moving, neither of them talking. Until she heard a sniffle.
"You ok?"
"Yeah."
"You're crying."
He fell silent for a while, head still buried in the pillow next to her.
Then he turned to look at her, tears in his eyes and a tired smile on his lips.
"Weddings."