Disclaimer: Not mine.

It was a bright, beautiful day filled with sunshine and fluffy clouds, and all Tenten could manage to say was:

"You've got to be kidding me."

Neji nodded his head vigorously in agreement, his face ghost-white.

Kakashi-sensei gave the beleaguered weapons user and jyuuken prodigy of Team Guy a way too calm smile, considering the dire situation that Konoha Village was currently facing. Was he mocking them, just like the weather?

"Now, now, why would I be kidding, Tenten? It was decided by the Fire daimyo himself when he heard about Guy's heroic actions against Madara during the war."

Please let this be a bad dream, please, please, please, God, Tenten prayed. Neji was muttering something that sounded suspiciously verbatim to her thoughts.

It was of no use. Clearly, the gods above were not interested in listening to Tenten or Neji.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" yelled an extremely hot-blooded voice.

A wheelchair crashed into the window of the Hokage's office, scattering shards of glass everywhere, including on Tenten and Neji, much to their irritation – irritation which was slowly but steadily being replaced by sheer and utter horror at the sight their eyes were beholding.

Guy-sensei, black bowl cut intact, gleaming smile and thumbs-up intact, springtime-green jumpsuit intact. Besides the wheelchair and the cast on his right leg with a character bellowing "YOUTH!" at everyone, he looked almost exactly the same as he did before the war.

Almost exactly the same, except for the headpiece on his black bowl cut, emblazoned with the word "fire."

Oh no, Tenten moaned internally and Neji externally.

"May I present to you the Rokudaime Hokage of Konoha, Neji and Tenten?" Kakashi said with another way, way too calm smile.

Before the pair could properly register their terror at this frightening prospect, the door slammed open and another green jumpsuit-clad youthful moron barged in, sweeping up the first green jumpsuit-clad youthful moron in a hug.

"GUY-SENSEI!" Lee sobbed. "I JUST HEARD WHAT THE DAIMYO HAS DECIDED. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU'LL BE THE MOST YOUTHFUL HOKAGE OF ALL TIME."

"LEE!" Guy sobbed right back. "LET US CHERISH THIS MOMENT FOR THE YEARS TO COME. THE POWER OF YOUTH ALWAYS PREVAILS."

Neji and Tenten exchanged a look. Many things passed between them in that one look, a great many things that could not possibly be put into words.

Despair at the future to come? Disgust at the sob-fest that was transpiring between their sensei and teammate? Compassion and sympathy for the other at the spectacle they were beholding? Maybe (grudgingly) a small tendril of...pride?

All of those, and perhaps a blossoming headache?

"GROUP HUG!" someone yelled (neither of them at this point could figure out who; the capslock sob-yelling was rapidly dissolving into an unintelligible mess).

Tenten and Neji's skulls emitted identical painful cracks as they were swept up into a very green hug.

Yes, a blossoming headache for sure.

"The Hokage Monument sure looks..." Tenten's voice trailed away as she lost the ability to adequately convey her...emotions.

Neji grunted in agreement; words failed him too.

On the leftmost side of the cliff was the Shodai Hokage, Senju Hashirama, wearing a most somber look on his face, despite his boisterous nature in life. The stone faces of all the previous Hokage were so.

Especially the one next to Hashirama's, the stone face of the Nidaime, Senju Tobirama, a no-nonsense figure who had contributed greatly to Konoha's infrastructure over the years.

The stone likeness of the old Sandaime, Sarutobi Hiruzen, was somber as well, but the sculptor had managed to bring out his kindly nature in his soft gaze, watching over the village like a grandfather.

To date, Tenten and Neji were of the opinion that the most youthful of the stone faces were those of the Yondaime, Namikaze Minato, due to his young age at attaining the position, as well as the Godaime, Tsunade, for employing a Transformation Jutsu to look younger than she actually was.

Neither of them had anything on the Rokudaime.

Might Guy's shiny bowl cut had somehow made it into the sculpture, and his stone teeth grinned down at the village of Konoha like the youthful lunatic he was.

Neji and Tenten had heard rumors that the sculptor in charge had a monstrously tough time in getting Guy-sensei to sit still as he prepared the plaster model of the face. The rumors had it that their sensei was in the habit of beaming randomly and getting the liquid plaster casing all over his teeth and ruining the look.

They felt no need to check if the rumors were actually true. Guy-sensei's grinning stone visage was proof enough.

"Do you think...the village will be okay?" Tenten asked delicately. "I mean, I do respect Guy-sensei, he's our sensei and an amazing ninja, but..."

She left the last part unsaid. Guy was a great ninja. But Guy was also stark, raving mad.

Neji sighed. "I just hope that he won't use that wheelchair of his to burst through windows all the time. Think of the millions in property damage."

"NEJI! TENTEN!" Lee yelled, causing his teammates to wince. What was it with Lee and talking in capslock? "I cannot BELIEVE that you don't have faith in Guy-sensei. He's going to be the most youthful Hokage of all time!"

"We know," Neji and Tenten chorused grimly.

That was where all the problems started.

There were some occasions in Kakashi's life when he was sure that Obito was laughing at him from beyond.

One prime example was when he got Team 7 for the first time, when Naruto's silly, endearing, clumsy foolishness and declarations of "I'll become the greatest Hokage of all time" and sheer, unflinching loyalty to his friends made him feel as though he was staring at Obito's flesh and blood after over a decade.

Obito, I'll never let him die, Kakashi promised.

And he didn't. Come Akatsuki or Madara or Kaguya, under Kakashi's leadership, Team 7 weathered the storm mostly intact, though with a couple of arms missing, in the case of Naruto and Sasuke.

The second major time he was sure was that Obito was laughing at him was during that bizarre meeting he was made to attend with the Fire daimyo and his nobles, accompanying Tsunade-sama as a bodyguard (and potential successor).

It had been almost a year after the war, and reconstruction efforts meant that the devastated ninja world was slowly getting back on its feet.

And Tsunade-sama wanted to retire, despite holding the position of Hokage for a mere four or five years, something the villagers were initially not too keen on. But after one too many gambling incidents gone wrong and certain people getting a taste of Tsunade-sama's Heavenly Foot of Pain, they were all too willing to let her leave the job. There was just the small matter of convincing the Fire daimyo of this, and that was where the problems began.

"Hmmm..." the daimyo said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Tsunade...you are known for your super strength, is that not correct? Such strength is what protected Konoha and the Land of Fire for so long, and I am not at all certain that we can find anyone to replace it."

Tsunade cleared her throat pointedly and nudged Kakashi. That was his cue to begin explaining why he possessed such attributes and was the perfect man to succeed her as the Rokudaime, just as Obito had said when they were back in that other dimension. So he straightened, ready to give out the speech that Tsunade-sama had forced him to memorize.

"Well, certainly, oyakata-sama, there are many people who would be capable of such – " he began.

"That's right!" interrupted one of the nobles, a balding one with a huge mustache. "I myself have heard of such a ninja. Proud and virtuous, the entirety of the Five Great Nations sings his praises."

The daimyo looked satisfied. Tsunade and Kakashi exchanged looks, hoping beyond hope that this noble wasn't talking about making Naruto the Rokudaime. While neither of them begrudged Naruto his dream, there was no getting around the fact that Naruto was currently an idiot seventeen-year-old, hero of the war or not. The whole point was to let Naruto mature a bit, and then he could become Hokage. As the Nanadaime, not the Rokudaime.

"It's said that he emitted vapors from his body and defeated Madara himself with just a single blow..." the old noble rambled.

Whoa, it looked like the rumor mills about Naruto had gone into overdrive again. Last week, Kakashi distinctly remembered someone claiming that Naruto and Killer B had done a Combo Transformation into a mutant fox-octopus hybrid and destroyed the God Tree all by themselves.

"It's said that his greatest technique was based on pure taijutsu! With just his super strength, his taijutsu caused him to become a dragon!"

Kakashi's brain ground to a halt.

He was not talking about Naruto. He was talking about –

"I truly believe that Might Guy would be a fine successor to Tsunade-hime, oyakata-sama," the noble concluded.

Pin-drop silence pervaded the room. Tsunade and Kakashi exhanged looks again, though this time, there was nothing but sheer surprise.

The Fire daimyo flapped his fan around his face. "Very well. Tsunade-hime, Might Guy will succeed you as the Rokudaime."

Kakashi's brain slowly started turning again.

Ahahaha, Bakashi, I can't believe that Guy is the leader of the new generation instead of you! a teenage Obito yelled in his mind, guffawing like no tomorrow. How are they gonna carve his eyebrows into the Hokage Monument, huh?

Well...this would be interesting.

How would they carve his eyebrows into the Hokage Monument indeed?

Shizune was at her breaking point. For someone as kind and patient as Shizune to reach her breaking point, you would have to do something extremely bad, like threaten to eat Tonton, insult Tsunade-sama, and ignore her sound medical advice.

You could also bypass all three of those things entirely, and use your wheelchair to make "Dynamic Entries" into the Hokage Tower every other day.

That was what Guy had decided to do.

And that was why Shizune looked feral. Perhaps Kakashi noticed that she looked feral, because he calmly stepped in with a smile and a, "Now, now, Shizune-san, let's have some tea, shall we? Some nice, soothing green tea."

Shizune twitched, the feral look in her eyes not fading as she gazed around the room, full of shards of shattered glass.

It had only been seven days since Guy had been named Rokudaime. And he had entered via window every single one of those days.

Kakashi looked a bit nervous at the fact that she didn't calm down. "Please don't kill Guy. We're supposed to be his right hands."

Her eyes bored into his. There was something dark and deeply, deeply frightening in that gaze. It was made more terrifying by the fact that that Shizune was usually cheerful and responsive to conversation. A chill traveled through Kakashi's spine.

It's always the nice ones, he thought.

"Um...I think that the ninja in Kumogakure have to deal with the same problem, Shizune-san. Their Raikage is always bursting through windows as well," Kakashi said tentatively. "Let's...let's ask them for tips, shall we?"

Shizune took a long, slow, sweeping look at the disaster area that was the Hokage's office, and finally gave Kakashi an uneven, jerky nod.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Now they could finally get back to stamping the mammoth piles of paperwork on the desk. Somehow it had remained untouched by the Dynamic Entry, something that should have been illegal, in Kakashi's opinion. He sighed. He would have to ask Guy to tone down the breaking and entering through windows habit, a weird hobby that he'd picked up to "keep exercising youthfully" after he got the wheelchair. While Kakashi was happy that Guy was still an active ninja thanks to the chair, it was an undeniable fact that he seriously needed to stop doing this. It was going to cost Konoha millions in property damage.

He couldn't even read Icha Icha as much as he wanted to anymore.

Being Guy's right-hand man was tough.

If being Guy's right-hand man was tough, being his former students was even tougher.

It was the Konoha 11's first get-together for the first time in a long time, and they had all decided to book a reservation at one of those upscale trendy teppanyaki places that had sprung up after the war, to celebrate Neji's gradual recovery from near-death during the war. Naruto tried to suggest Ichiraku, but a few murderous looks and cracked knuckles caused him to sheepishly backtrack.

Even Sasuke had decided to show up, although that was mainly because Naruto and Sakura had apparently told him that it was important to "socialize" and that talking only to his snake summon Aoda wasn't "proper interaction." It was a mark of how much Sasuke was trying to repent for ditching Konoha and everyone else that he came, although his interactions with his former classmates consisted mostly of monosyllabic grunts and nods.

Sasuke aside though, the gathering was quite boisterous. And talk went from training to missions to rebuilding to...

"Did you hear what Uber Brows-sensei got up to in Kumogakure?" Naruto yelled way too excitedly.

A collective groan permeated across the group.

"Please don't talk about it," Tenten mumbled, stirring her drink with a straw. "I get nightmares every day after looking at his face on the Hokage Monument."

"Don't say that about Guy-sensei, Tenten! He's the greatest and most youthful of the Five Kage!" Lee yelled, also way too excitedly. "You should be proud that he challenged the Raikage to an arm-wrestling match and won!"

Neji ground his teeth into powder.

Word had gotten around the village about that incident fast. And as Guy-sensei's students, they were forced to answer irritating questions about it. And the time he tried to create a law making green jumpsuits the Ninja Academy's official uniform (rumor had it that Shizune put a stop to that). And the time he gave a long, impassioned speech in Sunagakure about how the ninja there should "RISE from the ashes of WINTER to BLOSSOM into new youthful flowers of SPRING." (The capslock verbatim from his speech.)

The worst part was that the cheesy speech was well-received by the desert-dwelling ninja. Guy had become a hero over there and gotten some horrific nickname like "The Youthful Springtime Dragon Hokage."

The thought made Neji grind his teeth into powder again. The Sunagakure ninja had no taste. Of all the people in the world to get horrific nicknames...

"Millions in property damage," Tenten muttered, her face seemingly calm except for the uncontrollable spasms her eyes were undergoing. He gave her a sympathetic look. Neji wasn't the only one to get high blood pressure when the subject of Guy-sensei came up.

The cool night air was refreshing on Team Guy's faces as they paid up and left early. Thinking too much about Guy-sensei's antics nowadays was far too much to handle, and besides, bringing Lee to these events was always a danger – though there was never any of it at their table for obvious reasons, there was no telling if he would accidentally drink some sake and destroy the place.

Tenten scowled and massaged her temples tiredly. It had been a long, hard week of missions and listening to Shizune-san rant about their old sensei. She seemed to have, all too accurately, pegged Tenten as her agony aunt.

This fact was what made the following events all the more surprising.

It was just past 10 pm and they had just dropped Lee off at his house when they heard loud guffaws from two guys hanging out next to the streetlamp.

"Rokudaime, ahahaha, can you believe it? That idiot in the wheelchair?" laughed one guy.

Neji and Tenten stiffened.

"Yeah, the Fire daimyo clearly lost his mind last week! Making morons who can't do anything except taijutsu the Rokudaime...the previous Hokage must be turning in their graves. How did he even become a ninja, that's what I'd like to know."

"What a loser, always ranting about youth and springtime. I think the other villages must be having a good laugh at Konoha."

For the third time that night, Neji ground his teeth into powder. It was one thing for him and his teammates to poke lighthearted fun at Guy-sensei, and it was quite another for random idiots on the street to spread nasty gossip about him. And there was no doubt about it. What they were doing was definitely nasty gossip.

"How long will it be before – "

He yelped as Tenten seized him by the collar.

"Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once," she growled. "If you insult Guy-sensei in front of me ever again..." She slipped a storage scroll out of her sleeve and activated it, holding a wicked spiky-looking iron cannonball projectile in her hand. "I'm going to use you as target practice with this."

"That's right," Neji asserted. "Show proper respect to the Hokage, or I will show you just how much a moron who can't do anything except taijutsu can accomplish."

He cracked his knuckles menacingly. It had the desired effect, because the two guys whimpered like mice and scampered off into the dark. The two non-youthful members of Team Guy nodded in satisfaction.

Guy may have been a foolish sensei who rambled way too much about youth and springtime on top of causing massive property damage with his "Dynamic Entries" through windows. But he was still their foolish sensei who rambled way too much about youth and springtime on top of causing massive property damage.

And there was no way that Neji and Tenten would let people mock him, even in this nightmare scenario of him being the most youthful Hokage of all time.

That conviction was thrown out of the window the next day, when they were at the Hokage Tower.

Just another day of long, hard missions and listening to Shizune-san rant about Guy-sensei while Kakashi-sensei read Icha Icha, even though he was supposed to be sorting out the paperwork disaster.

And then Tenten and Neji's youthful springtime senses started tingling. They could feel the air vibrate a little too energetically and they barely ducked in time as a green jumpsuit-clad man in a wheelchair sailed towards the window.

CRASH.

"Good morning, my fine, youthful students!" Guy-sensei bellowed, his smile instantly inducing migraines among the ninja present. "Kakashi, today I will defeat you in our rivalry battle! By the end of this day, if I don't stamp a thousand more scrolls than you, I'll do five hundred sit-ups, two thousand handstands – "

The scrunch of a sandal on glass made them all pause.

It was Shizune. Her face was a lovely shade of murderous red. Kakashi took an audible gulp.

"Millions in property damage," she said quietly, in a feral, feral voice.

Tonton whimpered.

Neji and Tenten exchanged a look of despair.

Guy-sensei was the most youthful Hokage of all time.

And that was where all the problems started.

A/N: This is a companion story/sequel/whatever to my older story, "Hot-Blooded Bodyguard." Even the two guys badmouthing Guy are the same. I really intended a role swap thing. So please check that one out too! :)

Inspired by the "Guykage" episode of Naruto SD, and because I love Team Guy so much. For the purposes of this crack AU, Neji didn't die (obviously), but in this universe was merely severely injured and in a coma for a very long time. It just didn't fit into the story, though.

GBAboy313 and Iwik, if you're reading this, don't worry, I'm still writing the NaruHina one-shot. It will be up by the end of April. That's my ninja way. And of course, everyone, please review. :)