Hello! This is my second ever Supernatural fic. To be totally honest, I've never seen a single episode of Supernatural, nor do I plan to, really. But! I've fallen down the rabbit hole of the fandom, and, well, I dont think theres any coming back for me. Besides, that finale? Legit freaking hate crime. So, yeah. Find me on tumblr at hawaiianpurplewolf.
Disclaimer: Me? Own Supernatural? Do I look like a homophobic tv network? Puh-lease, if I owned Supernatural the ending would have been waaaaaay different. Trust me.
Of course I love you, Cas.
Cas, please. Come back. Cas. Cas. Cas. Cas, please don't do this to me. Not again. I can't do it again. You already died on me! Again and again. You said you wanted me to ask you to stay. God, Cas, please stay. Stay with me. Cas, come back. I want you. I love you. I need you.
Cas. Cas, please. Please.
I didn't say it. Why didn't I say it? I´m such an idiot. All that time with you, and I never -
And now you're gone. I find out you love me, you finally tell me what I've wanted to hear for, hell, my whole life, and then you just - you just leave? You drop that bombshell, that you love me, that somehow Im the only thing in this godforsaken world that makes you happy, and then you just leave me here alone? How could you, Cas?
I wouldn't care. Id drop it. Id never bring it up. If only you'd come back. Cas. Please.
What do you want me to say? I don't know if you can even hear me, but if you can - Cas, I love you. I'm sorry I never said it, Im sorry, God, I'm so sorry, I'd do anything, you left and you didn't even let me say goodbye, Cas, I love you, Cas!
We´re going to get you out. I swear it, Cas, we´re going to get you out, Sam and Jack and I. Ok, maybe mostly Jack, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you rot in that Empty. No freakin way. And if you're at peace - I´m sorry. I just... I can't leave you in there, because what if you're not? I don't think the Empty likes you very much, I don't know if it would let you be at peace, and - God, Cas, if it's torturing you, making you your own version of Hell...
you gripped me tight and raised me from perdition. I have to believe I can do the same for you.
To turn your own words back on you, I know how you see yourself. You see yourself as a tool, a tool that breaks and makes bad decisions, and nothing more. But, God, Cas, if I'm wrong about myself like you say I am, so are you. Can't you see, Cas? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And it's not your decisions or your power or your angel mojo or your devotion or knowledge or convenience or anything - Cas, its you! I love you, Cas, for you, for who you are, for who you have decided to be, no matter Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, what God Himself thinks. Of course I love you, Cas. I think I always have.
I'm coming for you, Cas. Wait for me. I'm coming.
And, Cas?
Of course I love you.