THE SIMPSONS

EMPIRES OF THE SILVER SCREEN: ABANDONED EPISODE FANFIC

This was a Simpsons episode idea that I thought of and have written once but abandoned it as the characterization and humor were inferior to and are no match compared to Matt Groening also known as the creator himself. This is how the story would go, but first things first with all episodes beginning with the couch gag; which is Bart bringing out a laptop in order to illegally download his family into reality although Homer for the sake of him being a buffoon buffers halfway through at fifty percent due to a slowdown, glitches a bit before finally formatting at last with the rest of the family to which Bart has to slap the laptop a few times before it then finishes. Now then that's out of the way which hints to the conflict of the episode itself believe it or not, here's the real plot of the story:

Beginning with a shot inside the Simpsons residence on 744 Evergreen Terrace before we cut to the inside, Bart and Lisa are watching the The Itchy and Scratchy Show with it's violence of the usual sort though in a whole lot more bloodier fashion but still no less usual because let's say that it's a special episode as the cartoon ends, showing Krusty the Klown announcing the winner of the contest to be invited to the Krustylu Studios as at the time this was written I've searched up the name and that's apparently what it's called; now what's this contest about? It was about being invited to get a exclusive role in an new movie being distributed by a joined venture which is between PDI/DreamWorks SKG, Paramount Pictures to which this one has a mention by Krusty as Viacom will not be starting another genocide on copyrighted videos if it is under fair use because it's not called FAIR USE for nothing, but hey if they want to play dirty pool by taking them down in spite of all that then no he's not okay with that at all, TriStar and Walden Media who will be distributing the home media releases. The winner of the contest turns out to be Bart Simpson, the same winner who won the drawing contest from the Bart VS The World video game on NES. Inviting him on down to Krustylu Studios along with his family this prompts a undeniable feeling that something's wrong from Lisa and surprisingly, Bart too because he never entered a contest that was about being granted the exclusive lead role in a film that was being made. Heading on down to the studios, they meet with the one man that is referred only to as The Director; he stands at 5'10, dreadlocks with an awfully similar style to Dolph Shapiro's hair added into the mix with octagonal shaped lens glasses, leather belted to studded jacket along with black vertically ribbed undershirt that has a kind of indigo violet undertone added, long parted bangs to the sides of his hair with a sharply curving downward curving mustache that branched downward into a fumanchu, shorts he wore above his pants and leather boots because he was one to stand out in Springfield among it's colorful cast of memorable characters and who wouldn't since winter time can be brutal. Though I should have to stress because this takes place in Spring on a Thursday

The Director welcomes the Simpsons family to his studio lot which he shows them all of the exclusive insights on what's there to be seen before they move to his private studios where the movie was being shot, he makes it clear to them as soon as he welcomes them by being direct; he wants them to be in the movie as all of them no matter how buffoonish or limited their roles may be have the largest role that he could ever offer to them, Lisa asks him about the contest that her brother never entered which he refers to that as promotional as many of the families have entered but one of them he had chosen personally himself. He tells them that he feels that it is their destiny to be featured as the ones to lead on the roles to which he has various plans for them, he's generous enough to even send a medical team for Homer in the event that while he was explaining; some bully took most of the donuts that he's gonna' have or at least some of them so he chased him to the top of a scissors lift, ending with our favorite buffoonish father defeating the bully who is then thrown out of his private studio lot as punishment. What happened next was that his victory did not last long as he fell over from the highest point in the scissors lift backwards over the railing, hitting his gut before the lift of itself fell down and brutally crunched the fuck out of the splitting line right in between his upper and lower body. God damn that is painful but thank god for The Director sending in an medical team to deal with him, so he's not alone for that and he didn't last long crippled due to that wound; this is the Simpsons after all because nothing is what it seems with this family as such. Now this is where the conflict begins as the main star himself is set to be shot by an black colored, nickel shining armored plated combined Sphinix 3000/Strayer Voigt Infinity pistol that was loaded with a false round; now of course The Director is overly prepared for the scene by throwing in a nomex survival suit for advanced infantry that has a type of kevlar biweave with reinforced joints, all of that worn underneath the costume so that he doesn't die. Unknown to them there was one thing which is discovered too late when Homer is asked to shoot the main star, he complies but here's the thing: he just shot an actual armor piercing 50. SMG fashioned bullet that was loaded into the pistol, hitting the main star right through his lung. Bleeding out with him drowning in his own blood and right before dying of shock, he looks down on his wound and his garbled voice exclaims that someone swapped the shots all before he dies on the floor. The scene was finished as soon as he fell over but before he told the truth, coughing up blood and vomiting before his death. Homer drops the gun and to his knees at what he's done with The Director placing a hand on his shoulder

Homer is later seen watching from atop a cliff with The Director at the funeral, he killed the main star of the movie but the latter tells him it was not his fault; the who loaded the bullet into the gun in the first place was the one responsible, but there is more afoot than either of them could've known at the time. He investigates the events leading up to the death of their main star, acting like a detective to which Marge comments uncomfortably that it's a very... detailed description for someone whose a director; asking him if he read up what the police reports had to say and if he was a cop once. The Director replies that he deals in forensic and homicidal scenes among other things, the loss of their main star did little to impact him or it's entire film because as he reveals later near the end when the truth is discovered; he had the intentional purposes of giving him a limited screentime role to begin with out of spite now as the truth becomes clear that he pieces together what happened. Until then he vowed that he would continue the film onward as he gave Marge the time to bring her husband right back to the action, just as the filming started. The film that The Director is filming was paying homage to Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III, Predator (1987), the critically acclaimed Simpsons episode "24 Minutes" and the cold opening sequence to the Family Guy episode "Brian Does Hollywood" where it shows action packed cliffhanger sequences that never happened back in the first part of "The Thin White Line" but this time it does happen here in this movie. Whose laughing now Seth Macfarlane? I know it's a joke but that's one hell of a way to get the blood pumping in the audience's veins. Unfortunately the budget is cut, slashed in half and causes the movie to be shelved with the private studio lot being shut down because The Director's movie is being illegally downloaded through hacking. He sets off to investigate to which Lisa helps him, Bart joins in with him in confronting those who are responsible leading to no one else but...

Jimbo, Kernie and Dolph as the illegal downloading hackers who were now caught in the act as all three of them reveal that they were being paid to do so; demanding answers he rushes off to confront the one which turns out to be his old producer he fired several years before as he was extorting illegally downloaded movies to be shown in theaters earlier than intended. He proclaims that he knows what he truly is but with the police on his side, they arrest him as soon as he gets into the police car's barricaded backseat though he pulls a gun out on him; but The Director takes out his shotgun to blast him a new asshole literally. He leaves out the main star's memorial from the film after finding out that he hated working with him, instead it was his friend who replaced him since he passed away several months ago. Now with the money gone he was about ready to start again through the determined willpower to act once time is ready to be seized. Gathering sponsorships from Kwik-E-Mart, Krusty Burger, Duff Beer and of course Moe's Tavern the movie is promoted through trailers before the premiere begins with the Simpsons family including Santa's Little Helper as well as Snowball II and The Director for the one having created the film being the guests of honor; filming was finished, no rushing to meet the deadlines as it was kept a private secret until it was halfway done and all of the film was tuned and properly edited with the plot holes being fixed during the filming. Now called officially as the Director's Cut with all deleted scenes being put into the film itself, including ones that were needed for the storyline. The movie received critical acclaim for the loaded blood pumping action sequences, the revitalized dead horse based tropes renewed through creative uses for them and importantly of all things was that it was the original uncut version. Five stars for a R-Rated Film that became a box office hit, it was nominated and of course won an Academy Award for Best Action Picture, Best Director and Best Cimeatography with each of the Simpsons family member recieving one themselves for Best Actor

The citizens of Springfield cheer for the family as they walk down the red carpet from outside of the theater, each of the Simpsons getting in the limo that then drives out of the city; with a closing of the book as it zooms out from the drawn depiction before closed and shelved back with the film that was being worked on. The Director himself talks to the viewers, and with it he reveals himself as the true mastermind behind everything; the main antagonist who used the Simpsons to launch them with a blockbuster hit from Krustylu Studios in Springfield, he's the one that no one had ever expected due to acting along as a generous man who in reality is one that's manipulative, cunning and on the prowl for when something went wrong. He's planned everything from the beginning such as the contest from Krusty, the director's cut of the film that was uncut with all deleted scenes being restored back to the way it was before. The producer who knew his true colors was right about him, he absolutely indeed hated him and working with him was one of the worst things because of how he was behind the scenes; he was manipulative, he was cunning, he was on the prowl for every misstep made, he would not announce the films he made until it was halfway through production, he was planning to lead the Simpsons into a world of fame that he told them it should never blind them from all of what they really have already rather than what they don't have. Live happily ever after like the man who had everything he ever wanted. Furthermore, his film did not actually win the primetime Academy Awards. No, instead it was Frozen (2013) that won and received all the critical acclaim that it did not deserve, you see he was absolutely infuriated because that is a shitty film that didn't do shit nor did it deserve the fame it had. His plan was to overshadow that movie as well as to destroy all copies of the film so that it would die out into obscurity, doomed to be irretrievable from the abyss in the time that long since began. Constantly with the townspeople treating it like it was proclaimed next Beauty and the Beast when all it was is a piece of shit movie that needed to be cancelled from the beginning, and most infamously with the people's nonstop playing of Let It Go was the final breaking point for him especially as they tried to force him to join them and love the movie like everyone else. Because of the producer's conspiracy of shutting his film down, he had to move up his plans forward and as he blasted a new asshole for him dead; nothing can stop him now as he burned the evidence behind his scandalous nature. The Director has won, the Simpsons family never discovered his true colors and all but one conviction was aimed at him but was overturned fast thanks to Judge Constance Harm's inability to find evidence that was all but destroyed and Judge Roy Snyder backing him up. Now as he stood above the cliff overlooking all of Springfield, he had decided to celebrate with a glass of fruit punch; revealing that although Frozen won all but of the most Academy Awards, he burned all the votes for that film and replaced the winner for his film all without getting exposed due to shutting down the surveillance camera that held all of the votes for Disney's garbage film. He had one more thing to say

To hell with Frozen (2013) and to good fortune for the Simpsons family in their own featured blockbuster film of Springfield's greatest of film stars, including the viewer themselves who had played the biggest role of this episode from FOX Network's longest running animated series; and he couldn't thank them more for being with them throughout the good and the bad but most importantly, his plan that he had for the Simpsons themselves. Overlooking all of the town above the cliff in the dead of night, especially as he looked at their house with him vanishing into clouds that broke off into streams that blew forward all with a twinkling shooting star in his eye. This episode was dedicated to his friend who passed away several months ago before when he was ready to surrender and kill himself had it not been for him after everything went wrong before with his film, now it is finished thanks to renewed vigor and revitalized effort to continue going forward in the darkest hour of the film industry. The credits roll as it gives off a happy feeling for the Gracie Films logo and the 20th Century Fox to Television fanfare that zoomed out from the logo

THE END

Several factors from this episode arisen that led to it being abandoned by me:

1. The comedy was inferior and no match for Matt Groening alongside his writers

2. Lisa is awfully quiet about the whole ordeal not helping with the fact that she's been one to suspect something was wrong about The Director that he wasn't telling them

3. Bart's suspicions on being the winner of a contest he never entered was too persistent in the episode for me to continue, thus being left unresolved because I didn't want deal with it anymore

4. I never intended Homer to be doubtful throughout the whole episode after killing the main star on accident as it's the same reason as above

5. I fucking hate Frozen (2013) so the ending was blatantly The Director shitting on the film like me because it's true, Frozen is a piece of shit movie that needs to be destroyed and lost to time so it can never resurface again. I am tired of hearing the film be called the next Beauty and the Beast when that film is superior in every way, and don't get me started on everyone singing Let It Go or I will reenact the Columbine School Shootings massacre in order to get them to fucking stop because I hate that song; I don't want to hear it anymore for as long as I live and even in the afterlife for when I am reborn into someone else. This is a empty threat here BTW, don't get too worked up about it

6. Ah but when did this shit matter? This is a happier ending for the Simpsons family to begin with, not to mention Flanders is absent except for cameos in the theater so at least he won't be spewing out religious sermons in the episode given his flanderization following the newer episodes. If he were involved then he would be back to his happy go lucky attitude