"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today for the—"

"Oh, I'm so glad you're at the point of joking about this! Do you know how heavy you are?"

"My mom can still carry me like I'm made of nothing. Off I go!"

"Danny! Argh! How am I the one always carrying him?"

"I can carry him. He really doesn't weigh that much."

"Don't you start too! He just tossed his body back at me! I wasn't prepared! I think I pulled something! Besides, you like and are good at P.E. stuff. And Danny's mom could probably bench press his dad. Neither of you count as proper measures of how heavy Danny is! Especially when it's all dead weight!"

"Dead weight. Ha."

"That's what it's called! I didn't name it! Ach."

"Yeah. Danny gives all new meaning to trust falls. I got him. Need to see the school nurse?"

"…Yes."

"Hey, Jazz."

"…Yeees? What's with that tone?"

"What tone?"

"Like you're in trouble or trying to sweet talk me into something."

"What, no! Don't try to be all psych-whatever on me. I only had a question. I swear."

"…Uh-huh. It's psychology."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I can look it up myself."

"No, no. Let me help you. What's your question, Danny?"

"…You're going to read into this, aren't you, Jazz?"

"What's the question, Danny?"

"Nope. Nevermind. I'll look it up."

"Danny! Are you in trouble? I can help you, let me help you."

"Oh god, now you're going to worry and pester me and dig into my personal life to figure it out, aren't you?"

"Yes. So you might as well tell me."

"I only wanted to know the name and some stuff about that sleeping thing. That's it, I swear."

"What sleeping thing?"

"You know. When a person randomly falls asleep. That thing."

"…Narcolepsy?"

"That's the name! I knew it was something I knew! I just couldn't think of the name of it!"

"Why are you asking?"

"No reason! Thanks Jazz!"

"Danny, get back here!"

"Excessive daytime sleepiness, check. Diminished alertness through the day. I mean. That symptom sounds right for school stuff. Because you've been more alert for ghost stuff to deal with."

"Diminished alertness could give reason to people from right after the accident, when you were just getting and figuring out abilities. Something ongoing, rather than sleep issues tied up with the accident or a lazy teenager constantly napping."

"Right, right. What else does the book say?"

"Hard to focus and completely work. A sudden loss of muscle tone? Huh."

"Wasn't much muscle mass on you anyway."

"Right. …Hey!"

"Sleep paralysis. Which is…experience an inability to move or talk while falling asleep or after waking. That one doesn't quite line up."

"Uh, everyone's different?"

"And hallucinations. There's a fun one. Chalk up you saying anything stupid or unbelievable about ghosts or fighting or cursed objects or whatnot as mixing fantasy with reality. With how your parents are about all their talk of ghosts and how they are… Well, no wonder your hallucinations would tend to be about that sort of stuff."

"…I don't know if I like that one."

"Would you prefer Sam's first suggestion of astro-projection?"

"I guess not."

"Hey. I call it like I see it. You're the one doing it, Danny. Hm. That last one could be more…something from a dream of when you were sleeping? As chances are more likely to possibly say something right after you 'wake up'."

"I guess so."

"Is Jazz still trying to figure out why you asked about narcolepsy?"

"Uuuuuugh!"

"That's a yes."

"Back. Thanks for keeping an eye on me."

"Oh! Hi Danny! Back already? That was fast! Boy! Box Ghost really doesn't take long at all these days, does he?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong? No! Nothing's wrong!"

"Something's funny, I'll say that."

"Shut up, Tucker!"

"You had this weird look on your face and were looking at… What were you looking at Sam?"

"Nothing!"

"Really? You were looking at my face with… Oh god! I drool! I drool when I'm out of body? Oh god! All those times during class and at school… Why did neither of you tell me this?"

"It's only sometimes. Don't worry! I usually wipe it off. Here. I've got a—"

"Thanks. I'm back in my body, I'll get it myself. Aw, man. So gross and embarrassing. This sucks. Uh, hey, Sam? Can I keep this handkerchief thing? I can give it back once I get some for myself."

"No! Uh, that's fine. I mean, you can keep mine, Danny."

"Really? Thanks Sam!"

"Real funny. Because h—"

"Shut up, Tucker."

"You're about to pay for—are you sleeping? In the middle of the hallway against the lockers? Fenton! Wake up! I've got bad grades to take out on you with!"

"He's not going to wake up because you're yelling at him."

"Oh, come on! I'm here now! Fenton! This is bad form!"

"Shouldn't you feel a little bad about taking out your anger on Danny? What, with his—"

"He just naps a little more. He's still the same old Fenton. I ain't going to treat him any differently because he's got some fancy worded medical thing. Fenton isn't the only kid falling asleep at school. He ain't special."

"So open minded of you."

"I know, right? I'm a great guy."

"…Are you going to wait until he wakes up?"

"Uh, I guess so?"

"Awesome."

"We're packing up and carrying him out with us. Since it's the end of the day. Try again tomorrow."

"Wait! Hold up! I got him. I can carry Fenton."

"We can—"

"I've got muscles! 'Sides, Fenton weighs practically nothing. No big deal. Which way?"

"This way. And yeah, Danny's really not that heavy for me to carry."

"…I hate both of you."

"Uh… Hi?"

"Oh! You woke up, Fenton! I carried you back."

"Okaaay? Why?"

"Well, I was going to rail you about my bad grade, again. Seriously. All your fault."

"…I barely have time or focus to be your nerd. Or my own for that matter. So uh, are you going to beat me up now?"

"Later. Twice."

"What! Twice?"

"I had to carry your ass home."

"…Fair enough? I guess?"

"You guess right, Fennarco."

"What are you doing in my house, Dash?"

"I upgraded."

"Huh?

"I mean, you've been right useless this year. There's no way I can chance up ineligibility in playing! Let the whole school down. All because you can't stay awake or focused to bother. You deserve being pounded. But I can cut down, I'm such a great guy, aren't I?"

"How go the math problems so far, Dash?"

"Much better now. Thanks to you Jazz."

"Jazz?"

"Hello sleepyhead. Dash here was kind enough to carry you home. Wasn't that nice of him?"

"That's right. I'm a great guy. Thanks for the water and snacks. Here. Make sure you have some for yourself too, Jazz."

"That's thoughtful of you. Do you want me to check over any of your work, Dash?"

"You can check over anything you want."

"…I think I'm going to be sick."

"Ah! I got you, I got you, I got you, I'm coming, I got you, I…"

"Hahahahahaha!"

"…I hate you. I dropped all my stuff and ran all the way over here to catch you, Danny."

"You should have seen your face!"

"If you pulled this on Sam, she'd smack you right… Hey! Get back over here so I can hit you!"

"Not likely! Come on, Tucker. All I did was gasp."

"Exactly! Get back over here. Don't make me run after… Ha! Don't you dodge my calculator!"

"Dodge? Tucker, it landed five feet away from me."

"Shut up and get back here!"

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For Tucker. And me."

"What's this about Sam? I didn't do anything! I just said 'good morning' to you."

"Tucker told me what you did the other night."

"Heh. Oh."

"It's not funny Danny. We can't be right next to your side every time a ghost pops up and you astro-project to take care of them. We've been with you all this time, helping you out, giving excuses, covering your butt, making sure no one messes with your body, that Dash doesn't shove you into a trash can, catching you so you don't bash your stupid head in! I'm glad you trust me and Tucker to such a high extent, but you could appreciate us a little more than what you do!"

"Yeah, sure, okay. I will."

"Will you?"

"I said I will, Sam!"

"Mister Fenton?"

"He's asleep Mister Lancer."

"Thank you, Mister Baxter. Please refrain from jabbing Mister Fenton with a ruler to check."

"But Mister Lancer, Fenton told me to. 'Next time, just…just poke me with a ruler or something.' His words."

"I suppose that's preferable to your previous checking on him. Please refrain yourself next time."

"Of course, sir. Next time, you poke him Kwan."

"What was that last part Mister Baxter?"

"Nothing, sir. I was muttering to myself. Was the answer something to do about Hamlet's father?"

"Soon to become father. Claudius."

"Is that a new bruise on your arm?"

"Yes."

"Was there a ghost fight in your last class? I thought I—"

"Yes."

"Kind of a small one. How'd that—"

"Don't ask."

"—happen? Uh, okay? Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay then."

"Dash took my glib words about using a ruler seriously!"

"Ah. You're surprised?"

"…No. Don't tell Sam?"

"Why?"

"Because she gave this whole speech to me about you guys not always being able to be there for me when a ghost shows up."

"And miss out on her smug face aimed at you instead of at me in my lack of physical prowess?"

"…I hate you."

"I know."

"And then, guess what? My dad yanked me over, thinking I'd get along great with their old college buddy. Guess why?"

"Something awful from that tone. Why?"

"Because Vlad confided in Mom and Dad that he's narcoleptic too."

"Oh boy. Really? One of the richest men in the world? He'd probably know someone giving him lip, that you're not really—"

"No. Their old college buddy. Studied together. Closely. Had an accident. Near certain ghost equipment. He's narcoleptic too."

"He's narcoleptic too? Oh! Uh, so… Good thing? Somebody to talk to—"

"Does it sound like from my voice that that is at all a good thing!?"

"Not really?"

"Vlad's here!?"

"Yeah! V-man showed up while you and Jazzypants were at school today! Isn't that great!"

"Yeah, Dad. Great."

"Your mom headed out to grab some things from the store, but she'll be back soon. Hey, Danny-boy. I'm starving. You think you can keep an eye on Vlad for a minute? He's doing the same thing you do sometimes!"

"Aaand Dad's gone. And what if I fell asleep while watching him sleep? What is Vlad up to? I should probably find out. But. Heh."

"Danny! What are you doing?"

"Jazz! You're back! I, uh, I thought you were staying behind at school for—"

"Danny. Why were you jabbing Vlad Masters with the end of the broomstick when I came in?"

"Uuuh. Because he probably deserved it? And Dash isn't wrong that it's kind of fun?"

"Danny!"

"What!? You saw how he hit on Mom! She ran out to the store. Probably to avoid him!"

"Well, you're probably not wrong there…"

"See!"

"But it's still not right and you know it!"

"I'm just…hitting him back. For Mom. She'd approve."

"Oh my god, Danny! Put the broom away."

"Fine. …Whoops. My bad."

"Did you just swing it around to smack his face on purpose?"

"No! Maybe? All right, I did!"

"Danny!"

"Danny-boy! The broomstick! Just what I needed, thanks!"

"…"

"…"

"What's all that noise coming from the kitchen?"

"The crashing and shouting?"

"And doesn't it sound like the screaming from those hot dogs…"

"DAD!"

"Vladdy! You're awake!"

"…Ouch."

"Oh, sorry about that! There was a bit of an issue with some ectoplasm and ham earlier! I thought we'd kept that contained to the kitchen area! Oh! Maddie! You're back! Just in time too! V-man woke up a second ago!"

"That's great Jack."

"Jazz, psst, hey. Look at Mom's face. Ow! What was that for?"

"Oh man, oh man, oh man. Okay, Danny. You got this."

"GHOST! IT'S A GHOST! RUN!"

"Ah! Quick! Where to go? Where to go? Where's an out of way place to slump, away from everyone, out of the way… There!"

"Danny! Where'd you—Danny!"

"Uuuh. Oh no. She didn't see me do that, did she? Why didn't I go invisible like normal? Right. Wasn't in a crowd. Of course Jazz followed me. Of course she saw. I'm an idiot."

"Danny? You… You're floating?"

"…No? I'm...I'm Phantom. Phantom. And I—"

"A ghost? My brother can't be a ghost! I'm seeing things! That's it! Danny's asleep right there! I…I must have some of the hallucinations associated with narcolepsy, like what he's got!"

"Um. I'm going to go take care of that other ghost, if that's okay with you Ja—girrrl. Random freaking out girl I don't know at all."

"You said my name when you were muttering earlier! I heard it! Or, I thought I did."

"Hearing things, yes. That's exactly it. You were hearing and seeing things, that's right. I'm going to go take care of the ghost in there now."

"…Danny?"

"Crud."

"You know, this explains so much from the past several weeks. Months."

"Thanks Jazz. It's so great to have everything we lived through and know rattled off like we weren't aware of it."

"And considering ghostly obsessions, with how I've observed, really puts you jabbing Vlad in the stomach and whacking his face with the broomstick into a far more insightful light for me."

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"Uh, I took a page out of Dash's book when I caught him napping in our living room?"

"Oh my god, that's awesome!"

A bit of a silly fun pointless one. Compared to the other two prompts I've done for Phic Phight so far.