SaB || Alinej || SaB || Alinej || SaB || My Sanctuary || SaB || Alinej || SaB || Alinej || SaB
Title: My Sanctuary – (You're Holy to Me)
Fandom: Shadow and Bone / Grishaverse
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadow and Bone show reserved to Eric Heisserer, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Leigh Bardugo. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Tags: f/f, fluff, awkward courting
Main Pairing: Alina/Inej
Grishaverse Characters: Inej Ghafa, Alina Starkov, Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker, Malyen 'Mal' Oretsev, Milo the Goat
Summary: When everything was said and done, Alina and Mal didn't quite know where to go. So why not follow the very pretty assassin and her two friends. Not that Alina had a crush or anything.
My Sanctuary
(You're Holy to Me)
"Wherever you are, whatever you need... My hand is yours."
Alina was too gay for this. She simply stared with large eyes at the beautiful woman next to her, with the warm, dark eyes and the kind, sweet smile. It wasn't new to Alina that she liked boys and girls; she had had a crush on Genya at the Little Castle and then dating Aleksander... No. Not thinking about that, not thinking about all that had gone done, how things had ended. The pain.
Her mind snapped back into focus. Focusing on the now, on Inej next to her. She was... beautiful and fierce, dangerous and yet soft and merciful. The one who had let Alina get away, when Kaz still seemed very set on capturing her. Inej had saved her life. Like a beautiful woman didn't make her weak enough as it was, but the way Inej looked at her and those words. That downright sounded like a proposal; Alina had heard less romantic proposals before. What was she supposed to say to that? How was she supposed to react to these words, spoken so honestly? Because Alina could hear it in Inej's voice, pure and raw honesty. Whatever Alina needed, Inej would be there.
"I think I like that hand with a dagger in it," said Alina when she finally found words. "I couldn't hold onto yours, so take mine."
It was the best thing she could think of. Inej didn't seem like the kind of girl swayed by flowers. She seemed like the kind of girl who'd love knives. Just, in general. As accessories and gifts. The way Inej looked at her told Alina that her hunch was right. Such a blinding smile.
"I know just what to name it," declared Inej with the brightest, cutest smile on her lips.
Alina's stomach fluttered at the way Inej looked at her. Many people looked at her as a saint, as a savior, as the Sun Summoner. But Inej, she... looked at her like all of that and so much more. She looked at her as Alina the Sun Summoner, as though she could see Alina. Could see that there was a person underneath the mantle of sainthood. It was nice feeling seen, as a person.
/break\
The Sun Summoner had never been graspable for Inej. They were this almighty figure, this holy savior. And when she first saw the Sun Summoner at the party, in those beautiful robes, all regal and disciplined. Truly, the vision of a saint. And then... she interacted with Sankta Alina and the Sun Summoner became... Alina Starkov, slowly. Talking to her, seeing her up close – disheveled, not in royally regal clothing, not putting on a show, but... being human. Admittedly, at that point Inej was still very far from actually thinking of Sankta Alina as inherently human, but it was still startling to realize that this figure she had believed in all her life was real and was a real person.
She flushed as she remembered her own words, at the camp-fire. Promising Alina her hand in whatever Alina could possibly want or need. She had babbled. That wasn't her, neither were grand promises. But looking into Alina's eyes, it nearly felt as though the world melted away and Inej was ready to fight it all for her sake and safety. And then Alina had given her a knife. A knife. From the Sun Summoner herself. This was going to be Inej's most cherished knife now.
Inej felt torn in her calling. Her loyalty laid with Kaz, and with Jesper. The Crows were her family. But Alina was – Alina was... everything. There were no words. She was the Sun Summoner. She was Sankta Alina. She was so much more. She was everything and Inej knew she could never turn her back on Alina and she also knew every word she had told Alina was true. Whatever Alina would ask, whenever she would ask it, Inej would be there for her.
"Where are you going now?" asked Jesper ahead of them.
She had just talked to Kaz and the two had fallen back a bit. Jesper was walking next to Mal and Alina. While Zoya had parted ways with them rather quickly after the camp fire, it seemed the other two were headed the same way as them. It made Inej's heart race for some reason.
"Ketterdam. For now. We talked about wanting to see it. It's... as good a start as any," offered Mal.
"I figured I could train everywhere. So... why not go and see something new?" added Alina.
Inej's heart was racing in her chest at that thought and she found herself looking toward Kaz, hopeful. Hopeful for what exactly, she didn't know. He tried to look as stern as possible, which was quite a lot. Without thinking on it, Inej opened her mouth, on instinct.
"You told me you invest in one of a kind. There is no one more one of a kind than the Sun Summoner," whispered Inej, holding Kaz' gaze firmly.
There was the smallest hint of a smile on Kaz' lips as he huffed, though he did not reply. Instead, he tapped his cane on the ground, in a manner that drew Jesper's attention immediately.
"We're going to take a detour before we depart," declared Kaz without further explanation.
Glances were exchanged – Jesper looked at Inej curiously, Mal and Alina had a silent conversation with looks alone. Kaz remained quiet, not elaborating at all, simply leading the way. Inej and Jesper followed him, blindly. Though Mal and Alina also followed them, perhaps simply lost.
/break\
The detour led them to a barmaid and to a goat. The sounds Jesper made when he got to hug Milo again were a bit embarrassing. At least he wasn't the only one; for some reason, Mal made similar sounds as he also hugged the goat. Perhaps it was a sign of sorts, that one goat tied them together. It had saved them – in a way, if Jesper had kept freaking out, Inej doubted that they would have made their way through the fold in one piece – and it had apparently helped Mal too.
Inej wasn't sure, but it seemed like the goat was the final, uniting factor. Mal and Alina joined them on their way back to Ketterdam. The five of them (and the goat) sat together on the ship. Jesper, happy with his goat, sat next to Kaz. Very close to Kaz, though not touching. Inej saw the tenderness in Kaz' eyes, regardless of how much he tried to hide it. He'd always had a soft spot for Jesper, even if he had very unconventional ways of showing it. Like by buying Jesper a goat.
On Jesper's other side sat Mal, so both men could cuddle the goat. Alina sat opposite Mal and Inej sat opposite Jesper and Kaz. Meaning Inej sat next to Alina. For hours.
She left a little space between the two of them at the beginning of the journey, though she couldn't help but keep looking at Alina and slowly inching closer the longer they traveled. Alina covered herself with a shawl, just in case anyone would recognize her as the Sun Summoner. Laying low was a very good idea. Was there a lower to lay than with the Crows...? Though it was only at the end of their journey, as they reached their destination, that Inej found it in herself to voice it.
"What will you do in Ketterdam?" asked Inej, her voice soft.
"I... Train?" guessed Alina with a thoughtful expression. "Gamble? Take in the sights?"
"If you want to be useful and earn some money. Find us," Kaz made it sound like an order.
Inej was not the only one surprised by that, though she smiled, pleased. For now, they had their own business to sort out first. The three of them headed off, toward the club, not looking as mysterious and dangerous as they usually did, because... there was a baby goat skipping along next to them.
/break\
For a few weeks, Mal and Alina hid away together. He got a job at a bar to earn them enough money to support them. They thought it would be best for Alina to not be too public; just in case. Even though the chances of someone recognizing her as the Sun Summoner here were incredibly low. But after a while, it got kind of boring. And when Mal lost his job, because he had lost his temper with a customer who was more than just rude toward Alina, they made their way to the Crow Club. Ever since they had parted ways, they hadn't seen the three again. In passing, Alina thought she had seen Jesper or Inej one or two times. She knew Mal would occasionally sneak off to visit the goat – she still didn't quite understand the whole goat-thing, but Mal was very happy about it. He's always liked small, cuddle-able animal, though goats were bigger than bunnies.
"You came," Inej's voice was a whisper and it came out of nowhere.
Alina could have sworn Inej was nowhere in sight when Alina and Mal had entered. Yet suddenly, she was right behind Alina. And she was still as pretty. For a moment, Alina stared in awe at her beauty. All words lost to her. She also lost Mal; he spotted Jesper at a poker table, with the goat on his lap. For a second, Alina smiled as she watched her childhood friend hug Milo the goat.
"I... yes. I don't know... much about what you guys do. But... if we can be useful. We could... use the money. And... I... missed you," blurted Alina out.
Well, that was elegant. She shouldn't have put everything into that one sentence. She was normally not this awkward around people she had feelings for. But then again, no one had ever pledged loyalty and devotion to her the way Inej had. How was she supposed to be not awkward after that? Her cheeks felt warm, but the genuinely surprised and happy look on Inej's face made it worth it.
"I'm... sure we will be able to find use for you, and for the tracker," assured Inej.
She slipped her hand into Alina's, seemingly without even thinking about it herself. It seemed to come so easily and naturally to them, just as it had at the fire-place. It was strange, how often Alina thought of that short moment, but it had been the first moment of serene peace in a while. Alina smiled to herself as she let Inej lead her toward Kaz' office.
/break\
Inej had always known that the Sun Summoner would bring peace, but she had not expected it would be her own personal peace. Being with Alina made her feel like nothing before had. It took many more weeks of shared missions and laughter before Inej understood that it was more than simple sainthood – Alina had become Inej's personal sanctuary. Her own peace and comfort and warmth and light. Hers. And, mesmerizingly enough, she had become Alina's.
"Good morning," whispered Alina with a smile as she brushed Inej's hair out of her face.
They had shared their first kiss after an exhilarating mission, adrenaline and laughter fueling them. And now, Inej got to wake up to that face, that smile. And she had never felt that alive before. Reaching out, Inej cupped her face and brought it close enough to kiss her gently.
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: SOOO I LOVE THOSE TWO. And came to AO3 right after finishing the show, just to realize the ship tag didn't even EXIST. At which point I learned that the two apparently don't even meet in the books. Travesty, the show really made me love them. So, I had to write them! *^* Been posting about them on tumblr since binging the show, come visit me at takaraphoenix to yell about them ;D