I don't own the Loud House.

Hey everyone, it's been a minute since I last posted anything. I've been busy with the move and getting the house ready. I promise that I will get back into writing again soon. For now please enjoy this one, slightly depressing story.

I must warn you that this is a dark and sad story, not one of my usual ones. I was kind of inspired to write this while listening to a song by a similar title that deals with a sister's regret for not being able to help her sister. If you haven't listened to "Lullaby For A Princess" then you need to fix that quickly because it's a masterpiece.

For those of you who are easily triggered, this story does have character death and it dives into depression and things like that so read at your own risk. You've been warned.

For everyone else, expect the next chapter of most of my current stories to come out either this weekend or the next. I'll be releasing each one on different days so that they don't come out all at once. I noticed that if I do release them all at once that some of them will get overlooked. And I don't want that to happen.

Aside from that, please enjoy this story.

Lullaby For A Loud

Lynn sighed.

It was supposed to be the best day of her life, the moment that she had been waiting for after years of busting her ass and working hard. The moment where it would all seem worth it. But as she stood in the middle of the field surrounded by the cheering crowd, being hoisted up on her teammates' shoulders, Lynn felt anything but victorious.

"Hey, Loud, what's wrong? You just won us the gold medal for Women's Futbol!" Her teammate said, shaking Lynn a bit in order to knock her out of her funk.

"Yea...I'm fine..." Lynn forced a smile and raised her hands above her head, making the crowd roar louder.

Then as her teammates carried her over to the center of the field where they would be switching jerseys with the other team, Lynn thought back to the day that it all went wrong for her, though she didn't know it at the time.

She had been so focused on her training that she didn't pay attention to the signs. Or rather, she chose to ignore them because she didn't think it was any of her business. That it wasn't her responsibility to what was going on around her.

Lynn landed on her feet and got in line in order to trade her jersey with the opposing team's captain. At 22, Lynn was the youngest Olympian Captain in history. She pulled off her dark blue with red and white jersey and handed it over to the other captain and she froze.

"Congratulations, Lynn, you deserved this." The Captain said with a smile.

But Lynn barely heard her words. She was staring wide eyed at the Japanese woman before her. She was barely 5'4, about the same height that Lynn was. Her pale skin which was covered in sweat seemed to glisten from all of the bright lights on them. Her dark hair, which had been in a ponytail had become undone and part of it had fallen over her eyes, obscuring them slightly.

"Lynn? Are you okay?" The captain asked with concern when Lynn didn't respond.

Shaking her head, Lynn forced herself to focus. "Yea, sorry about that, I'm just a little tired. After all, you sure didn't go easy on us."

The image was stuck in her head and Lynn couldn't shake the feeling of rising dread in the pit of her stomach. Because soon she would be meeting her family and she knew that one member would not be happy to see her.

Pictures were taken and soon Lynn hit the showers with her team, taking a long cold shower. She tried to calm her racing heart. Meeting him shouldn't be making her feel like this! She wasn't at fault, god damn it! But even as she slammed her hands against the cold tiles, she knew that she was just trying to make herself feel better.

"Loud, your family is waiting for you outside!" one of her teammates called out to her. "Why didn't you tell me that you had such a cute brother?"

"I'll be out soon..." Lynn said, ignoring the part of her brother.

"I think that I'm gonna go introduce myself...take your time!" She called out before heading out of the locker room.

Lynn turned off the water and watched it fall off her body. She paid close attention as it trailed down her arms and fell on either side of her wrists. For a brief moment she saw a flash of red and Lynn gasped, clutching her hands to her chest. She took in a shuddering breath and she fell to her knees. Tears were threatening to break free but she refused to let them fall.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!" She quickly repeated to herself over and over again. That mantra was the only thing that kept her going at times when she felt like she would break. It was nothing more than a lie but she felt it was better to believe in a lie then accept the truth. And it was that truth that she and he didn't get along anymore.

Once she got a hold of herself, she dried herself off and got dressed. She put on her 'Game Face' and went to meet her family with a big smile, knowing that they would be so proud of her. And sure enough, her mother and father were waiting with open arms, tears in their eyes wearing her jersey and number.

"Oh Lynn, we're so proud of you, honey!" Her mother said, pulling her into a very tight embrace.

"Wow, sport, I can't believe that I'm the father of the world's youngest Soccer Captain!" Her father boasted as he patted her head affectionately. "You were amazing out there, Sport! A chip off the old block!"

"Lynn, you were literally amazing out there." Lori said, coming in to give her a hug as well. "It's too bad Bobby couldn't come to see you play, he loves soccer so much."

"Someone had to stay home and watch the kids." Lynn said as she pulled away from her oldest sister.

"I know, right? Little Lucy is already walking! Pretty soon she's gonna be asking you to teach her how to kick a ball." Lori laughed, not noticing the look that passed across Lynn's face. "You're literally her favorite Aunt."

"Heh...right. I'll have to come visit soon then." Lynn said as she turned toward her second oldest sister, Leni.

"OMGOSH! Lynn, you were so fast out there! It's like you can go faster than a cat!" Leni said.

"You mean a Cheetah?" Lynn asked.

But this only served to confuse her sister. "Cheater? No, why would I call you a cheater? You always play fair and square."

Lynn chuckled as she pulled Leni into a hug. "Never mind, I'm as fast as a cat."

Lynn then turned towards Luna and Luan who came to give her a group hug. "I'm surprised that you two made it!"

"Of course, dude, we would never miss your big moment." Luna said, hugging her little sister. "Family always comes first, you know that."

"Yea, Lynn, we would never miss something like this. We love you, Junior." Luan said, rubbing her cheek against Lynn's.

"I'm glad that you guys came...really..." Lynn said, touched that two of her busiest sisters had managed to come. After...well, Family was important and Lynn knew better than anyone that they would have moved heaven and earth to be there. No one wanted a repeat of what happened...

Lynn then turned around and she was almost knocked to the ground as twin blonde missiles nearly tackled her. Lola and Lana were teenagers now and they had managed to catched up to Lynn in terms of height.

"Lynn! Lynn! That was awesome!" Lana said, jumping up and down as she held on. "You totally kicked that other team's ass!"

"Will you stop, Lana? You're gonna mess up my hair!" Lola protested.

Lynn then watched as the twins began to argue between the two of them. But she noticed that they had reached for each other's hands and they were holding on tight. It was their way of showing that they still loved each other even when they were arguing. Neither wanted to lose the other and no one wanted to lose a sister...not again.

Lynn then felt a tug at her shirt and she looked down to see Lisa and Lily standing next to her. Lisa was 13 and Lily was 10 and both were still shorter than Lynn, much to her relief. They smiled up at her and Lynn grinned as she reached down and rubbed their heads.

"Hey, squirts, did you enjoy my game?" She asked them.

"Lynn, I would ask that you not call me that. I shall soon be taller than you if my calculations are correct." Lisa said though she didn't look upset.

"And I'm still growing!" Lily protested.

"Oh yea?" Lynn bent down and picked Lily up and placed her on her shoulders. "Well, I think you're taller than me now."

They all shared a laugh and Lynn felt happier than she had been feeling earlier. Being surrounded by her family helped her feel at ease. It was one of the only ways that she would be able to sleep at night. Part of the reason that Lori's daughter loved Lynn so much was because Lynn often crashed over in Lori's and Bobby's guest bedroom. She would go around and spend time with her family, never once sleeping on her own. And that was because she couldn't live alone. She did own a house in the city but she rarely stayed there, letting her roommate stay there virtually undisturbed.

And speaking of her roommate, after she set Lily down, Lynn looked around to see him but he was gone. She felt equals parts relief and sorrow. She wasn't on the best of terms with her brother, Lincoln. And that was because he blamed her for what happened. And in her weaker moments, she would let him take it out on her because a part of her knew that he was right.

Still, she had to ask. "Where's Lincoln?"

Her family looked around and they saw that the only white haired Loud wasn't anywhere to be found.

"He must've gone off with that girl that was flirting with him." Lola scoffed as she crossed her arms. "Doesn't he know how important this family moment is?"

"It's okay, Lols. Let him have some fun." Lynn said, trying to sound cheerful. "How about we go and have some pizza? I'm starving!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lynn opened the door to the suite that she had been staying at for the duration of the Olympics. The room was dark and quiet as she had expected it to be. Her family had gone back to their own hotel and they would be returning soon now that Lynn was done competing. And as she began to set her bag down a light suddenly came on in the living room.

But Lynn wasn't surprised to see her brother sitting in the armchair, glaring at her. Nor was she surprised at his expression. She knew that this was coming, it had been a while since the last time. She took off her jacket and kicked off her shoes. She then walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle with a dark liquid and two shot glasses. She then made her way over and sat across from her brother, placing the bottle and glasses on the coffee table.

"I missed you after the game." Lynn said as she poured them a drink each.

"How do you do it?" He asked her. "How do you manage to go out and play like nothing is wrong? Like you don't have a care in the world?" He paused for a second before he added. "How do you manage to not let the weight of your sins crush you?"

"Drink up. It will make this easier..." Lynn said, throwing back her shot before she poured herself another one. She coughed as the liquid began to burn her throat but she welcomed the feeling, it was better than the rising dread in the pit of her stomach. Once Lincoln had taken his first shot, Lynn spoke. "We've been over this before, Lincoln...I lie..."

"It's been 3 years..." Lincoln said, his cheeks beginning to show a little red as he downed his second shot. "3 long years of blaming you..."

"I know..." Lynn took another shot.

"3 years since she begged you for help...and you did nothing!" Lincoln accused her.

"I know..." Lynn took a third shot.

"How can you live with yourself knowing that you're the reason that she's..." Lincoln stopped as tears began to burn his eyes. He stared at Lynn for a moment before he downed another shot. "Lucy's gone..."

"I know..." Lynn poured him another glass.

"She's gone...and you did nothing..." Lincoln was sobbing now, taking his third shot and letting the alcohol take effect. "She begged you to help..." He repeated. "Begged you!"

"I know..." Lynn got up from her seat and she sat down next to her brother.

She wiped the tears from his eyes before cupping his face so that he could face her. Lynn then leaned in and placed her lips on his, kissing him gently. At first Lincoln didn't respond but after a moment, he returned the kiss. He pushed Lynn back and the two of them fell onto the floor but neither seemed to notice. Lynn could feel her brother's raw emotions, his need for comfort, for love. And she gladly gave it to him just as she had done for the past three years.

Lynn knew that what they were doing was wrong, she had known it from the very first time that Lincoln had forced himself onto her. It happened during an argument between the two of them. One where she tried to deny any fault in what happened to Lucy, their younger sister. They had gone out to the edge of Royal Woods, somewhere deep within the forest so that no one would hear them. Lynn knew going in that they would be coming to blows. They were both hurting and angry and it seemed like the only way to resolve it.

Lynn had thrown the first punch and the second and third...but by the seventh punch, she had lost her will to fight because she knew that she had been at fault. Lucy had come to her, begging for help and Lynn ignored her because she was too busy training. And that had cost them their sister.

So when Lincoln shoved her to the ground and had his way with her, Lynn just accepted it as her punishment. His kisses were still as hungry for comfort as they had been the first time that he kissed her. His hands still longed for warmth from her body, craving it. His lust, damn near insatiable, still demanded her body to satisfy it. And she did her best to do it because just like him, she too was starved for comfort, for warmth, for love. And that's why she did it, that's why she continued to have sex with him, because she loved her brother and they both desperately needed to feel that love again.

The only time that either of them felt at ease was in the afterglow of their lovemaking, twisted as it may be, as they lied in each other's arms. It was in those moments that they felt like they could continue to live and hope to one day move on.

And as Lynn felt her brother release his seed deep inside of her, she felt warm tears fall from her eyes. She relished the feeling of warmth that spread throughout her body each and every time that he came inside. And she prayed that Lincoln would finally forgive her for what she had done. He had asked her to look after Lucy while he was away for the summer. And she had failed them both. So while she couldn't ask Lucy to forgive her, she could ask Lincoln. The only thing was that she was scared to ask for his forgiveness because she knew that she didn't deserve it.

So Lynn continued to make love to her brother, hoping to earn the forgiveness that she didn't deserve because she wanted to make him happy. She felt like that was the only way that she could atone for her sins.

::Flashback::

Lynn, 19, was in the middle of her soccer drills. She was getting ready for her upcoming game at college because there were rumors that a scout for the Olympics was gonna be there and she wanted to impress them.

It was the middle of the day and no one was home aside from her and the Duchess of Darkness. Speaking of, Lucy had been locked up in her room all summer, deciding to stay home instead of going to the lake with the rest of the family. Lincoln had asked her to keep and eye on her so that Lucy wouldn't feel lonely but Lynn was sure that Lucy was fine. After all, she loved all of that gloomy shit. Lincoln was just worrying since he would be in California all summer with Sam and Luna helping out with their band stuff.

As Lynn was kicking the soccer ball in the air repeatedly in order to work on her control, she heard the backyard door open and close behind her. And while she didn't hear her sister's silent footsteps, Lynn's years of experience with Lucy told her that her sister had come to speak with her.

"Hey, Luce, how's the nether world treating you?" Lynn joked, still not turning around to face her sister.

For a minute Lynn didn't hear anything and she was beginning to think that maybe Lucy hadn't come out at all. But just then she heard the sound of crumpling paper and she knew that Lucy had definitely come outside.
"Lynn..." Lucy's usual monotone came out suddenly. "I have a request I wish to make of you..."

"Can it wait until later? I'm kind of in the middle of something." Lynn said, still kicking her ball up.

"I'm afraid I must insist. This is important." Lucy said.

"Look, Luce, if this is another poem of yours, it can wait." Lynn said dismissively.

"But Lynn, I need you to read this..." Lucy's voice gained a slight edge to it but Lynn hardly noticed. "Please..." She added.

"I'll read it later, Luce, just wait, okay?" Lynn said, trying to focus on her task but finding it difficult with her little sister's pestering.

For a moment Lucy didn't or say anything. And while Lynn couldn't see, the younger girl's body was trembling. "Sister...I beg of you...please read this..." Lucy asked once more, reaching out and placing a hand on Lynn's shoulder.

Sadly, this startly Lynn and she lost control of the ball, making it land on her face and hitting her nose.

"God damn it, Lucy! See what you made me do?!" Lynn demanded as she held her nose, her eyes stinging with tears from the pain.

Lucy flinched and took a step backwards from Lynn. "I'm sorry, sister, but I must implore you...I need your he-"

But before Lucy could continue, Lynn angrily cut her off. She turned around and snatched the paper from her hands, balled it up, and threw it across the yard. "I'll read your stupid poem when I'm done training! Now go back inside and leave me alone!"

It was now that Lynn could see Lucy's trembling body but she didn't care. Her sister was being a bother and she didn't have time for her silly games. And when Lucy's tears began to fall, Lynn still did nothing but glare at her.

Unable to speak, Lucy turned around and fled inside of the house, not making a sound except for the door closing. And Lynn returned to her training, not bothering to check up on her sister until much later. And by then it had already been too late. It had been far too late...

::End of Flashback::

Lynn sobbed in Lincoln's chest hours later when they finished their love making. She always did when they finished because the memory of that day would always come back to haunt her. She recalled picking up that paper that she had balled up and when she read it, she felt like her heart had stopped. Lucy had written out a suicide note that day but before she did anything, she sought her sister for help. And by refusing to help her, Lynn had pushed her over the edge.

It was that memory that haunted Lynn every night in her sleep. And she knew that it would keep haunting her for the rest of her life. Because if she had just read the paper, she would have called her parents and gotten Lucy the help that she desperately needed.

And just like Lucy, the note had been written like a poem, each line telling her exactly what she felt and the last line ended with red ink...

She only read the poem once but she could still remember the title of it very clearly. It had been burned into her mind and even now she marveled at her sister's creativity. Because even as she was falling into the pit of despair from which she couldn't escape alone, she hadn't lost her poetic spark. Lucy had titled the poem "Lullaby For A Loud", a fitting title for a Loud that was about to join the deepest of slumbers.

And as Lynn drifted off to sleep, she wondered if perhaps Lucy would have approved of her relationship with their brother. Out of all of their family, she was probably the only one who would have approved. And that made Lynn miss her sister even more as she succumbed to her slumber, listening to her brother's still beating heart.

Thump thump.

Thump thump.

Thump thump...

End of chapter.