Neku doesn't understand other people. He doesn't think he ever will either. That doesn't mean he wants to kill them, though.
He's confused, he can't remember anything, he's trapped in a city he doesn't recognize but seems so so familiar. And most of all, he's angry. Angry that he doesn't know what happened, doesn't know why he's here in the first place, and angry that he can't remember anything.
The only thing that he remembers is the name Neku and some distant static-y memory that he can't pinpoint anything happening in it. He only finds out that his last name is Sakuraba because the pink-haired Reaper standing above him calls him that.
He can barely process anything through his bottled-up anger. He's told to kill Shiki and then he'll be let out of here. Frustration builds up. He barely sees the two Reapers in front of him and Shiki next to him. He doesn't see Beat and Rhyme, disbelief, shock, and anger racking through them. He doesn't see the Noise symbols as they surround him. Everything turns red.
Neku finally snaps.
He turns to face Shiki, the obvious fear in her eyes not registering as power welds up within his hand and focuses around her throat and hoists her into the air. He doesn't hear her choke out his name, begging him not to kill her. He can only hear the Reaper egging him on, telling him to follow his heart.
A stead and firm weight grabs his wrist and anchors him. The word "stop" forces him to do just that. He lets his power slip through his fingers as Shiki drops to the ground.
A new person is here, a man with sunglasses. He instructs Neku to resist negative emotions. Beat grabs him by his collar and yells at him.
Everything hits him. Neku can barely breathe. He almost killed someone. Someone who trusted him, probably wouldn't anymore on the slim chance she survived his attack.
His gaze slips to the man's chest as he addresses the Reapers. "What did I just…?" Neku asks himself aloud, horror seeping into his voice.
Neku echoes back what the man says to him about trusting partners, but the shock and weight of his actions overwhelm him as static fills his vision.
He wakes up in the Scramble Crossing alone. He panics and looks around for Shiki, just now realizing he should check on her. He figures she's dead. Because of him. Because he couldn't handle his emotions for five minutes. He's upset with himself, but remembers the strange man's warning and stomps it out before he hurts someone again.
He looks up at the sky for a second and takes a breath. It's Day 3, he can get out of here. He won't let her death go to waste. A hand lands on his shoulder and he spins around. Shiki jumps back in shock and waitー she's alive!? Relief floods through him as she talks about panicking about them not waking up near him. Guilt eats at him and he hurries to apologize. Shiki seems surprised and quickly forgives him and they continue onto their mission as if nothing happened the previous day.
Neku's surprised. If he were her, he sure as hell wouldn't forgive himself. It's fine, he supposes, he'll do it in her stead. He doesn't, can't, forgive himself. He vows to never use psychokinesis again.
It's Day 5. He and Shiki are both quiet. The shock of what happened to Rhyme the day before still hasn't faded. He hopes that Mr. Hanekoma managed to save Beat in the 3 minutes he had left before he was erased.
His phone buzzes and his hand burns. The mission is to free Spain Hill of the Noise. Okay. Easy enough. They have to do this. For Beat.
Shiki bounces back by the time they get to Spain Hill and resolve the source of the Noise, two girls with an argument with emotions running so high that all the Noise in what seemed like a mile radius had flocked there and wouldn't stop multiplying.
The timer fades from his hand and Shiki tells him about how having friends somehow makes life so much easier. Neku doesn't believe the same thing, but he has no choice but to take her word for it, given how he has no memories to back himself up.
Two people passing by them in the RG are talking and Shiki suddenly freezes.
"N-Neku, let's go this way," Shiki says, tugging on his arms in an attempt to drag him somewhere else.
"What's gotten into you?" Neku asks, pulling away from her.
Shiki looks off to something to the side before pulling on his arm again. "N-Nothing, just hurry!"
The two pass through them, activating a scan. One of the girls says Shiki's name which immediately pulls Neku's attention. He looks at the two girls passing by and sees one glaring fact. One of the girls looks exactly like Shiki. Well sure, the mysterious girl's hair is a darker shade and she's wearing different clothing, but they look the same in every way.
He points it out as Shiki says something about a girl named Eri. Static fills his vision and they both wake up in the Scramble Crossing.
It's the end of Day 6 and he and Shiki have barely made it through the mission. Completing the mission activated a trap, no doubt set up by the Reapers. All the other Players they saw in the Scramble got Erased besides them. They only survived because of a light atop the 104 Building that encompassed the entire area and set everything back to normal, just at the end of the day.
They both stand off to the side and take a second to rest. Shiki hugs Mr. Mew closer to her body.
"You've been saving me all day, Neku," She says, and for a second, Neku is happy. To him, it means that he's been upkeeping his personal goal to make up for trying to kill her, but it doesn't seem like enough. The hurt tone in her voice makes him listen more too. "I need to shape up."
That's not fair to her. Doesn't she know everything she's done to help people? She needs to know, and he's the only one here to tell her.
"I think you're doing fine," Neku tells her after a second. "Remember? Two days ago with 777's tech, yesterday with those two girls… we won because you don't give up on people." Neku shuffles slightly as he continues on. "Plus… you didn't give up on me either, even after what I did. Lots of people have been saved 'cause of things you did. So… you're pretty amazing."
Shiki gives a shocked look before smiling. "Thanks, Neku. You know, you've changed."
"Have I?" Neku asks, surprised. He looks down at the hand he almost killed her with and clenches it. "I just… never want to screw up like that again."
"Don't worry," Shiki reassures him, "You're fine."
Neku's hands tremble as he holds the gun in his hands. It's cold in his hands, unfamiliar to everything he's ever experienced in his life. He's been on the receiving end once and never wanted to come into contact with one ever again.
He looks up at Joshua, the Composer, who just smiles and points his own gun at Neku.
He doesn't dare to spare a look at Shiki and Beat who are standing frozen in the corner (well, if there was one. He can't see how big the room is as the walls are too dark to see). Joshua immobilized them anyways so they couldn't help him if he wanted them to.
Joshua counts down, but the numbers hold no meaning to Neku. He looks at Joshua and sees the one who killed him. The one who put him here in the UG and the one that's keeping him and his friends here. He sees the one who's planning on destroying Shibuya, the city that he's lived in his entire life, without so much as a blink. He already Erased the Conductor in their own game just to destroy the city.
Neku raises the gun. He sees a monster who decided that a duel would be the most fitting way to end it all. He sees someone with values so twisted that he decided that the people of Shibuya couldn't change. But that's not true! Just look at Neku, and Shiki, and even Beat! All of them have changed for the better. Neku learned how to trust other people and open up to understand their viewpoints of the world. Shiki learned how to love herself instead of harboring jealousy towards the people around her. Beat learned to live life to the fullest instead of letting himself be pushed down by the expectations his parents held of him. All of them have changed for the better.
Maybe, Neku realizes, that's the point. He himself knows exactly where Joshua is coming from. He hated people before he met Shiki. He almost killed Shiki nearly three weeks ago for no reason.
He looks at Joshua as the countdown continues. He sees a boy who betrayed his trust and everything he knows. He sees a boy who was his Partner. He sees a friend.
A memory lingers in Neku's mind.
"I just… never want to screw up like that again."
He lowers the gun, letting it fall from his fingertips. The countdown reaches zero and Joshua pulls the trigger. Neku falls and is glad he didn't give himself the chance to screw up with Joshua.
He hopes he made the right choice.