Author's Note
For all those whose shadows have crossed my heart in the years since beginning this undertaking.
Dedicated to the aunt and uncle, now passed, of the young broken boy drifting in his own world out on the east coast.
To the family and memory of the captain of the Cynical Fleet, now passed, who helped me find my voice, find great games, and was a huge fan of PlatinumGames, developers of NieR:Automata.
To the family and memory of the percussionist of the greatest trio in rock & roll history, now passed, whose compositions and songwriting continue to inspire me and get me through the darkest of times.
To Mr. Taro and his team for putting together such an inspiring work.
To the friends and family who continue to put up with that broken, drifting boy's happy madness.
And last, but not least, to you.
To all of you who may or may not come across this story from the far reaches of the internet; know how much I appreciate you and hope you enjoy this novel that I've poured way too much of my passion into.
Please let me know of any errors you recognize or any improvements I could have made. Review me to your heart's content.
Much love, and I hope you're having a wonderful day.
ONE FINAL THING BEFORE YOU CONTINUE:
PLEASE do not read on if you haven't finished the game, NieR:Automata, all the way up to ending E; there are plenty of endgame spoilers in this first chapter alone.
After you're done with the game, read and/or listen to Yoko Taro's "Farewell" stage play found on "The Ark" wiki for the NieR series.
Though it's not required, I'd also recommend reading the short story "A Much Too Silent Sea" found on the same wiki.
Once you're done with all that, you'll be all caught up and ready to read this novella! I hope you enjoy!
"Everything that lives is designed-BUILT-DESTINED? to end
"WE are perpetually trapped
"In a never-ending-NEVER-ENDING-NEVER ENDING spiral of life
"Of life…and DEATH?
"Is this a curse?
"Or some kind of PUNISHMENT?
"WE often think about the god who blessed-CURSED us with this cryptic puzzle
"WE wonder if WE'LL ever get the chance…
"A chance.
"A chance."
"A future is not given to you. It is something you must take for yourself."
"Huh?" A voice gasped as the digital landscape flickered to life, pockets of nothingness twinkling all around where the white had failed to form.
"What is this?"
There was a flash, a pulse of pure light, and with that the pockets vanished. There was nothing but white, not a single pixel off.
"Voices…?"
"…gative…error…boot…"
The formless entity turned to look here and there, there and here, up and down. Or was it down and up? Everything looked the same. It couldn't discern.
"…checks completed…personal…loading…inability…"
"Hello? Where are you?" called out the voice, moving what it perceived to be forward. It kept going for what felt like eternity, but still, there was nothing but white.
"I-I don't know where I am!" it cried out. "I-I'm scared! Please! Help me-whoa!"
Another pulse, but this time negative, the pitch of darkness. "Is… Is that me?" The voice could finally perceive a depth, a space, in the environment, as well as itself, all thanks to the dark. It moved itself through the more clearly defined white, careful not to hit any walls.
"What is this?" Its words were slow, spaced out, spoken with a pinch of joyous curiosity. It had come, at last, to a series of hallways, branching off from one "master" hallway in the center. Or was this where it had always been? The scale and structure of it all, there was no doubt that this place was important, but why?
"Hm." The voice approached a small circular node at the end of one of the branching hallways. It reached out, but stopped itself with a gasp. A limb was forming, shimmering bright enough to make out a vessel against the landscape around it. An arm, two arms, with hands and fingers all! "Well, that's convenient!" It reached out again towards the node, but before it could touch it, another clearer voice thundered across its awareness.
"I have removed the virus."
The voice cried out, startled. The other voice was different, external, but also the same as its own. The exact same, yet it didn't come from within.
"So…you've seen it all, huh?"
"Agh!" Its sense of environment flickered with that second, or third, voice, so soothing, welcoming, yet so weak, so familiar and carrying with it an unspeakable dread. The voice rested one of its newly formed hands on its cheek, feeling a liquid trickling down.
"I don't intend to kill you anymore… So kill me."
"Stop!" It covered its forming ears as it shrieked out to the presence above.
"I want…to see you…again…"
It was that identical voice again, but not from within. The forming vessel suppressed its curiosity and ran from the node, back to the master hallway. On their own, those other voices had filled it with glee, but something else, something newer, had laced the old words with blades sharp enough to kill, slowly and painfully.
Silence graced the voice's ears, thank goodness. Alone in such pure light pronounced by darkness, it found the most peace.
"The time I was able to spend with you…it was like memories of pure light."
"No!" That soothing, sad voice spoke out once again, as if beckoned by his thoughts. He collapsed onto the floor, covering his ears to no avail. "Too painful…" He wasn't even near a node. What the hell was happening?
He didn't have time to ponder the question. The landscape suddenly morphed into a storm, the dark mixing with the white in a whirlpool of fury. The boy was thrown about, screaming in horror as his mind's eye became filled with visions of something among the stars, visions passing faster than any human, or rather, any android could fully perceive.
Human…
The spinning, whirling, spiral sea halted as fast as it had accelerated. He found himself face down on the white below. Getting to his feet, he noticed the dark above. He wasn't alone.
Before him stood her motionless figure staring at him with dull blue eyes, contrasted against her white hair. He moved closer with calm awareness in each step. She didn't breathe, blink, or anything. There weren't even any weapons floating on her back? Something wasn't right.
He reached out with his hand, now gloved in black, but before he could put it against her cheek, she began to crumble into tiny fibers. With a gasp, he grabbed towards her to try to hold her up, but he just made it worse. The visual data slipped through his fingers and into the white, vanishing beneath its surface. He fell to the ground, trying to follow her, but the white was solid. There was no getting through. He cried out and smashed one of his fists against it, and just as he made contact, the place switched; the white was now above, with the dark below. He got himself up, and when his vision readjusted, he noticed another figure standing where his companion had just ceased to exist.
She was the same, but different, a running theme in this prison. The blue in her eyes was cloudier, and her hair had grown much longer down her back. She, quite frankly, also wasn't dressed as well, with parts of her outer shell peeking through between dark areas all over. Her body also moved with her breathing, in contrast with the petrified stillness of his companion. She was alive, and for reasons above his infant comprehension, he couldn't stand it.
With a cry of rage, he reared up with his right arm. A blade materialized in his grasp, throwing off his strike, but he didn't question it. He gripped the lower part of the hilt with his other hand, and again moved to swing forward.
However, just as he was about to cut her neck, he stopped himself. His breathing was heavy and ragged, every fiber of his constructed being pulsing with hate, and yet, here of all places, at the center of creation itself, he stopped. His eyes met hers, her blank expression unchanging. She looked so much like her, but behind that identical visage was someone different.
Different or not, he knew she was also a victim of this damned, fracturing world. So why did he still feel this way?
"Why do I desire the touch of something that no longer exists?!"
The words thundered against his being from the dark. He strained to pull away, grunting. His fingers were tight around the hilt, but he managed to let go, and the sword fell and faded away along with her.
The surroundings changed once again, and this time, he was between the dark and light, each on his left and right sides respectively. He felt Its presence, and rather than grovel before Its immense, incomprehensible scale, he let his rage forward and out through his mouth.
"What do you want?!" he yelled, to what he had no idea. Almost instantly, a vocal chorus gave reply.
"Love, life, peace
"Hate, dread, death
"These together are the voice of the universe containing us
"Yet that voice eludes
"As one we will discover
"As one we will learn
"What it means to have breath
"What it means to be more than a drop in the storm
"Together we will discern
"What it takes to be more than a flake in the avalanche
"Together
"We will show that cursed voice…
"What it truly means to be alone in its natural anarchy."
It was so loud, so powerful, that 9S wouldn't have doubted for a second if one were to tell him that he was hearing his maker's maker.
"Fear us not
"For We are that which will give you purpose
"That which will help you see past the veil that obscures your sight.
"Together as one
"We are the Remnant of the crossing between worlds!"
"Report: Abnormal vibrations detected from Black Box. Temperature rising."
"Wait!" 9S reached out to the chorus of voices and touched Its fading form through the digital landscape. There was an explosion of light, and he cried out as the shock hit his pain receptors. A light of violet, brighter than a thousand suns, blotted out his vision.
"Remnant."
"This unit has already reported on the abnormal situation."
"Negative: The vibrations are not originating from unit 2B, but instead from unit 9S."
"Remnant.
"Remnant.
"Remnant.
"Remnant."
"Negative: Unit 9S's personal data has already been terminated. Reboot is realistically impossible."
"Remnant.
"Remnant.
"Remnant…"
"N-Nines?!"
9S opened his eyes slowly, the bright white sun gracing his visual receptors, painful even through his visor. He saw a tearful 2B's face, bringing about warmth in his chest that not even a thousand suns could match. Pods 042 and 153 hovered overhead, casting shadows that moved with their frames.
"Ngh…" 9S rested a hand on his visor, giving his eyes a slight rub. "Where… Where am I?" A quick memory flashed, and that warmth within was slightly snuffed by a jolt of dread. "2B, what did I…?"
"I'm so glad…"
He stopped thinking for a moment, and just rested a hand on her cheek.
"I'm so glad you're…" Her tears trickled onto his face as she struggled to form further words.
"You're alive," said 9S, finishing her sentence with a blink. He recalled an old human tradition where they would pinch themselves to make sure they weren't dreaming, so he gave himself a slight pinch on the side with his free hand. Androids didn't dream all that often, so he wasn't sure what exactly to look for, but he did indeed pinch himself, so he deduced this had to be real. "I'm alive. What… What happened?"
"Report:" began Pod-153. "Unit 9S was killed by accidental self-impalement on unit 2B's sword Virtuous Contract approximately 1020 hours ago following battle with A2."
The words sank in as the memories came flooding back. That veil of red…
"But then how are we here? The Bunker, it's gone?"
"Report:" Pod-042 hovered forward. "Following your battle and the collapse of the tower, tactical support units 153 and I reconstructed your bodies. 2B rebooted without issue, but you didn't, so she-"
"P-pod, that's enough," interrupted 2B with a sudden lethargy in her voice. She wiped at her own tears. "It's a long story, but yes, we're alive." She leaned forward, her forehead meeting 9S's. "And I-I'm not going anywhere away from you, ever again."
Her touch made 9S realize that she'd been holding him this whole time. No wonder he felt so warm! He closed his eyes with a slow breath, finally at peace. Everything they'd seen, everything they'd been through, how those tiny slices of the world they'd stood on had collapsed in on themselves at the tail end of those blessed weeks they'd spent together… Maybe happy endings can happen after all?
"Ngh!" Another memory flashed in 9S's mind, a word spoken by a voice – voices – so visceral that it brought with It pain. He was out of 2B's grasp and up before he knew it, taking a struggled step forward.
"N-Nines?"
"Proposal: Unit 9S should slow down," said Pod-042. "There's no telling what damage overexertion could cause following such a long boot."
9S had no care for the pod's words, concerned for his well-being as they were.
He'd awakened into paradise. This was everything he'd ever wanted, a world where he could just spend more time with 2B after the worst of their struggles had come to pass, and yet something felt wrong, so very wrong.
"God help me, what did I do?"
There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but one thing and one thing alone shouted the loudest from his inner voice. He tore off that damned visor and gave it a chuck, turning to 2B as he prepared to voice his thought. "We need to find-"
9S stopped upon taking the first full look at her since his awakening. She was barely holding together. Makeshift bolts were in her wrists, and a trail of blood leading from a freshly carved ditch pooled around her. She tried to stand, but couldn't. Suddenly, 9S's priorities changed again.
"2B!" He ran to her side and raised her up, just as she had him after his encounter with Adam. He wasn't as strong as her, but he made do lifting with his knees.
"Proposal: Unit 9S shouldn't overexert-"
"9S… Nines, don't, this is nothing…"
"Pod. Pods," 9S said as he glimpsed around the City Ruins, morphed and distorted from his memory by the collapse of the tower. "Give me the quickest route to the Resistance camp."
"Calculating," replied Pod-153.