Ben should have listened to Mal. He knew it. It had been his mistake and he was fully aware that the fault lay with him and only him for not listening to his girlfriend when she warned him that he should hide the boxes of liquor that had been delivered at Auradon Prep for the desserts that Ms. Potts liked to prepare on Fridays. She had told him with a serious look in her eyes and now Ben knew why. He should have imagined it too, he supposed. The children of the Island were still adjusting and there were not the same restrictions on alcohol as in Auradon. So, well, yeah, it was his fault. And now they had to think of some way to get Harry off the roof of the school and try to prevent the Fairy Godmother from finding out about this incident.
"So… politely asking him to come down is not an option, is it?" Ben asked Gil, who was looking in the same direction as him.
Harry was drunk. Drunk. Drowned in alcohol. Hell, Mal was going to kill him.
Gil shook his head. He looked at the crew, who were standing behind them, looking a bit bored. It seemed they were not surprised to see the First Mate acting like this. Ben wondered if such behavior was common to all children on the Island or if it was only common in Lost Revange.
"Don't worry, King Ben," Gil assured him. "He'll be fine. Uma probably already went looking for him. She always fixes everything."
The crew nodded and murmured in agreement with Gil. Ben released the air he was holding. Yes, Uma was responsible. She surely had everything under control.
Then they heard a crash upstairs. Blinking to better focus on Harry, they all narrowed their eyes until they saw a familiar turquoise hair. Uma staggered near one of the Auradon Prep flags that fluttered in the air.
"Why aren't the sails ready yet?! Does a captain have to do everything?!" she asked Harry, her voice giddy. Ben heard Gil moan. Then all the pirates panicked and started running in circles.
"Wait a minute!" A familiar voice heard. Ben's heart stopped. Oh, she was going to kill him. Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos approached the scene. Mal stood next to him, looking in the direction of Uma and Harry. "What are those two doing up there?"
"The captain is drunk!" Bonny was yelling.
"This is bad, very bad," Jonas said.
"Oh no. What are we going to do now?" Gil wondered aloud.
"Didn't I tell you to hide that liquor, Ben?" Mal asked, glaring at him.
Ben shrugged with a guilty smile on his lips, taking a step back, putting a safe distance between them. He wasn't afraid of his girlfriend, please! He was a king!
"Well, they're just a little drunk. What's wrong with it? They probably did it all the time on the Island."
"Not like this, not like this!" Desiree moaned. Gonzo covered his eyes with his hands, not wanting to witness another minute of this. "On the Island, when Harry got drunk Uma took care of him, and when Uma did, Harry was sober."
"And then? Okay, now neither of them is sober. What's the worst that can happen?" Evie asked.
Oh, how Ben wished she hadn't asked that.
"Land in sight!" Harry yelled, pointing to the horizon.
"Prepare everything to disembark!" Uma ordered, gesturing to the imaginary crew of her, standing next to Harry to get a better look at where she was aiming. "Wait Harry, that's the damn Island!"
Harry looked confused.
"The island? What Island?"
"The Isle of the Lost, you idiot. I'm not going to land there. I have heard that the pirates have control of the docks and are very malicious. They have a short-tempered captain and a First Mate more handsome than a god."
Harry looked at her smiling madly.
"Wait, Uma, we used to live there! You are the captain with a bad temper!"
Uma pointed to herself in disbelief, then looked back at her as if hoping Harry was talking to someone other than her. Then realization filled her face.
"It makes sense!"
Ben slapped his palm against his forehead. God, those two were really drunk if they didn't recognize themselves. Mal shot him a look that clearly said: "I told you so!"
"That's what can happen," Gil replied to Evie's question. "And we haven't gotten to the worst yet."
"You mean there are more?" Jay asked.
Apparently, the little scene had attracted the attention of some students. Jane and Loonie approached, Audrey behind them.
"What happens?" Loonie looked at Ben for answers.
"Uma and Harry are drunk," Carlos replied, holding Jane close to him.
"Well, what's the worst that could happen?" Audrey asked, not understanding why they were making such a fuss about the pirates.
Another crash above silenced them.
"Damn! I broke the rum," Harry complained.
"There wasn't a single drop of rum in that bottle anymore, hahahahaha!" Uma laughed.
Harry joined in her laughter, then Uma slapped his arm, pointing to the garden, where their friends were staring at them. They seemed to have noticed them.
"Look, they cringed!" Harry said cheerfully, looking at them. "Hello little Ben, hello little Mal! Why are pirates called pirates?"
Uma was excited by the question.
"Oh, I know that one! Because they arrrrrre!"
Harry and Uma burst into loud laughter and clutched their stomachs. Gil turned around, muttering something about not wanting to see this one more second, Desiree and Bonny hugged each other crying and Gonzo and Jonas looked so embarrassed they wanted the earth to swallow them.
"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?" asked Uma.
"Because they can spend a lot of time in the C!" Harry replied, prompting another round of laughter from them.
"Someone has to get them down from there, for God's sake!" Evie exclaimed.
"If the Fairy Godmother finds out about this, she will kill me," Ben replied.
"Oh, don't wait for the Fairy Godmother to do it before I do, Benjamin!" Mal threatened.
"They'll be down for sure soon," Ben said, trying to take the weight off the issue. Then Uma and Harry started singing and dancing to an impromptu version of the song that the whole crew used to sing to Uma, and when Uma yelled "Hook me!" her pirates preferred to throw themselves to the ground and begin to wallow.
"Oh no. They're going to start," Gil said.
Non-crew members looked at them wondering what they were referring to. The answer soon reached his eyes and ears. Suddenly Uma was getting too close to Harry, ruffling his hair so that he melted like jelly. Ben looked away, sure he was looking at something too provocative. Jane flushed red, Audrey raised an eyebrow, and Mal slapped a hand on her forehead.
"This is why Uma and Harry can't get drunk together!" she yelled at Ben.
"She's the captain and I'm the first mate," Harry yelled. "Uma's so hot they will burn if they look!"
Uma looked at him with love in her eyes.
"Oh, Harry! You really think that?" Her voice slurred, she moved closer to him. "You know that I love you very much!"
"You're a goddess!" Said Harry. "I've always been in love with you!"
Uma rushed him to kiss him, another crash was heard as they both fell to the floor.
"Damn it, not the other bottle!"
"Shut up and kiss me, it's an order!"
"Okay," Ben agreed. "I'll go get them. Mal, see that the Fairy Godmother doesn't get here, or we'll all be in trouble."
He heard Mal grumbling while Jay and Carlos laughed, and he hurried up to get the two of his friends. However, even though the situation was… peculiar, Ben smiled. He had always known that those two were too lost in each other. Not even pirates escape true love.