Dylan Fitchar stared down at the dead body of John Phoenix and smiled. Why did he smile? Because John Phoenix was dead. He was dead for an unrelated reason after having sex with Dylan Fitchar. The unrelated reason? Being shot in the head by Dylan.

"Thanks for the sex, John Phoenix," cackled Dylan, "but I'm afraid I must be going now. So long."

Anyway, after Dylan left the police showed up and put police tape around the body.

"I can't believe my best friend John Phoenix is dead," said Gumshoe. "Who could have done this?"

"I think I know," said JOHN PHOENIX, but not the one on the ground, it was a different John Phoenix who came out of the bushes.

"What the?" said Gumshoe stupidly. "But how are you alive?"

"It's simple," said John Phoenix, crouching down next to the corpse. "I was never dead in the first place. As you can see, this dead body is fat, and I am not fat. Therefore it's someone else disguised as me. Someone who is much worse than me. Someone who is dumb and would get killed by Dylan."

"But who, pal?"

"Easy, it's Uncle Phoenix." He ripped off his uncle's John Phoenix mask. "I sent stupid Uncle Phoenix to have sex with Dylan Fitchar because my good friend Kyle Hyde found this note in Dylan's apartment and sent it to me." He handed a note to Gumshoe.

Gumshoe held the paper in his big dumb hands and his eyes bulged out. "What the- this says 'The Plan to Have Sex with John Phoenix!'"

John Phoenix nodded. "Exactly. Dylan's planning to use the body fluids he sucked up to create an army of John Phoenix clones to take over the world. Thankfully, he only got my uncle's genital fluids."

John Phoenix threw his dead uncle into a hole and then Gumshoe drove John Phoenix to Dylan's evil layer.

"John Phoenix!" cried Dylan, recoiling in fear and pressing up against the wall. "But how did you-?" He composed himself. "Haha, no matter, attack, my evil clones!"

The clone army attacked, but John Phoenix easily killed all of them in a lot of cool different ways.

"NO HOW IMPOSSIBLE" cried Dylan.

"Simple," said John Phoenix, "these are actually Phoenix Wright clones, which is why they are inferior to me. I have surpassed my uncle in every way, including the way of not being dead. Now go to jail."

Dylan in lowered his head in shame and was lead away by Gumshoe. Meanwhile, a lone surviving Uncle Phoenix clone was cowering in the corner.

"W-What's going on?" he asked. He was traumatized from watching John Phoenix dispassionately dispatch the hundreds of clones. "Who are you? W-W-Who am I?"

John Phoenix held out a hand. "I'm John Phoenix. Your name is Uncle Phoenix. You are my uncle."

"U-U-Uncle?"

John Phoenix nodded. "That's right. You're a famous a lawyer, and my mentor. It's because of you that I was able to become the world's greatest defense attorney."

The Uncle Phoenix clone took John Phoenix's hand and stood shakily. He blinked and looked around at all the frightful machines in Dylan's secret layer.

"Where are we?" he asked. "What are we doing here, John Phoenix?"

"It's all right, Uncle Phoenix," said John Phoenix. "Don't worry about it. You're just suffering from temporary amnesia. Now let's get back to the office. We have a lot of cases today. And don't worry, I'll help you till you remember how to be a lawyer again."

"Thanks, John Phoenix," smiled Uncle Phoenix. "You're a great nephew."

And that he was.

THE END