They bumped into each other in a market place, and as they walked amongst the stalls Aziraphale expressed disappointment at the selection of wines that were on offer. He insisted that the wine he had at home was far superior.

Which was how, much to Crawly's delight, he found himself being invited back to Aziraphale's little house for the very first time.

The first room, the main living area, seemed comfortable enough, containing a table, cupboard and plenty of kitchen supplies, but Crawly was instead led into the backroom.

Crawly took the chair offered to him, placing the parcel of pastries he had purchased from the market on the floor beside him, and then he glanced around the room as Aziraphale lit some oil lamps.

A big, wooden chest sat in the corner and was currently being used as a table. It was littered with several scrolls and leather bound books. A shelf on the wall contained more books and papers, and Crawly couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. Books were rare and expensive, and Aziraphale owned at least a dozen of them - he had quite the collection.

Aziraphale handed him a glass of wine, and Crawly had to admit – even if only to himself - that it was far better than any wine he had tasted that day. Perhaps ever.

Crawly asked about the books, delighted by the way Aziraphale's eyes lit up as he talked about them. Many of the books, papers, and scrolls told stories, or gave interesting information. Others were legal documents, such as the deeds to the house.

"And this one," Aziraphale said, taking a book down from the shelf and then settling back in his chair with it, "tells a gripping tale of heroic deeds. Just look at the handwriting. The fellow I purchased it from told me it takes the scribes almost six months to copy each book out! The quality is very good, but they… they haven't..."

Aziraphale trailed off. His eyes had darted down to Crawly's crotch, widened, and then immediately looked away again. "I.. er." Aziraphale seemed to have entirely forgotten what he had been talking about.

Crawly looked down. His cock was doing that weird thing again where it went rigid. Aziraphale must have noticed, and was embarrassed by it for some reason.

"Sorry," said Crawly. "It does that sometimes. Just ignore it and it'll go away on its own."

Aziraphale didn't seem to know what to do or say or where to look. Crawly was getting the impression that Aziraphale was embarrassed on his behalf. Great. Now he was starting to feel awkward about this too. Perhaps there was something wrong with his corporation - it has been doing this on and off since the beginning.

"Sorry," Crawly said again, shifting his robes to try and hide the bulge. "I don't know why it's doing that. Is it supposed to?"

Aziraphale's face had gone bright pink. "What?"

"Is it supposed to stand up like that?"

Aziraphale's mouth opened and closed a few times. He averted his eyes. "Er. It's a perfectly natural... um… thing."

"Oh, okay," Crawly said, feeling relieved. "If it's making you uncomfortable I can make myself female down there instead? It's less noticeable when that gets all tingly and stuff."

Aziraphale stared intently at the book in his hands. He swallowed thickly. "No, no. There's no need to- It's quite alright."

Crawly let out an awkward laugh. "Human anatomy, eh? Makes no sense."

Aziraphale looked up at him with a strange expression on his face. "Do you really not know why it's doing that?"

"It's just another weird thing human bodies do," Crawly said with a shrug. "It always goes down again on its own eventually."

Aziraphale carefully closed the book. "You- You do know how to take care of it yourself though, don't you?"

"Take care?"

"You know."

Crawly didn't.

Aziraphale made a frustrated noise. "Please don't make me explain the birds and the bees to you, Crawly!"

"Oh, I know all about the birds and the bees," Crawly said proudly. "I know how babies are made and all that stuff. But what's that got to do with this?" Crawly pointed down at his crotch.

Aziraphale gave him a sidelong look. Eventually he took a deep breath. "How do you think they're made?"

"Two humans kiss and then a baby comes out."

Aziraphale sat forward and put his head in his hands. "Oh, good grief."

Crawly crossed his arms defensively. "Not straight away! It takes a few months. That's how Adam and Eve did it."

"There's a bit more to it than just kissing."

Crawly leant closer to Aziraphale, always eager to learn new things. "Yeah?"

Aziraphale looked around the room, as though to make sure they were definitely alone. He lowered his voice. "The male part goes inside of the female part."

Crawly thought about this for a moment. "Oh, that makes sense actually. Because the female part is a hole." Crawly's eyebrows shot up as realisation dawned. "Is that how I'm supposed to make it go down?! By putting it in a lady? But what if she gets pregnant? Hell said not to do anything that might produce offspring with a human. They were very adamant about it."

Crawly had been very diligently making sure he didn't kiss anyone.

Aziraphale looked horrified. "Don't put it in a- That's not what I meant! You can... You know. Take care of it yourself."

Crawly felt baffled by this statement, but as he looked down at himself he thought he understood. Though he doubted it would work. "I suppose I could have both parts at the same time, but I don't think it'd bend around enough to be able to shove it in-"

"No! Not like that! I mean... with your hands," Aziraphale said.

"Hands?" Crawly considered this. He could make his hand into a fist - then it'd be like a hole. Maybe that would fool his body into thinking he'd put it into a lady. "Okay. I mean, I'll give it a try."

Crawly started to pull up his robes.

"Not here!" Aziraphale shouted, his voice high pitched. "It's a private thing! You should do it in private!"

"Oh. Sorry," Crawly said guiltily, letting the material flop back down. "I'll go and 'take care' of it somewhere else then, shall I?" Crawly started to stand up.

"Yes. It's best to do it in the privacy of one's own home. In a bed if you have one."

Crawly deflated - he'd been hoping he could just go into the other room, do it there, and then come back. Never mind. He was eager to find out what all of this was about.

Crawly started to walk away, and was surprised when Aziraphale didn't stand up to escort him out. Instead he remained seated in his chair.

"You'll see yourself out, won't you?" Aziraphale said. He had picked up a cushion at some point and was holding it over his lap for some reason.

"Yeah. Thanks for the wine. And for the cock tips. Do I just sort of hold it for a bit then?"

Aziraphale fiddled with a loose thread on the cushion. "Wrap your fingers around it and then stroke it up and down."

"Is that how you do it?"

Aziraphale looked mortified. "No! Of course not! For goodness sake, I'm an angel! Angels don't do that sort of thing!"

"Then how do you make yours go down? Do you just wait for it to go down on its own like I usually do?"

"I don't have that problem!"

"Oh."

Was it bad that he did have that problem? Should he be feeling ashamed? Aziraphale had said it was natural - so why didn't his do it? Maybe Aziraphale thought less of him now.

Crawly left the room, and headed into the main living area to get to the door. He opened it, but then he paused. He'd left his little parcel of pastries next to his chair. He closed the door, turned around and then headed back.

The door to the back room was still ajar, and he could hear Aziraphale breathing heavily. He frowned and poked his head into the room.

Aziraphale was still sat in his chair, head down, eyes closed. The cushion had been abandoned, and he had hitched up his robes to reveal his cock, which was thick and hard. He was holding it tightly, stroking it up and down in his right hand while his free hand clung onto the bunched up material of his robe.

So Aziraphale's cock did get hard, just like his own. Crawly felt better knowing that he wasn't the only one this happened to, but he felt annoyed that Aziraphale had lied about it. Still, Aziraphale was clearly self-conscious about his cock and wanted to touch it in private so Crawly decided not to disturb him. He watched for a few seconds, learning how to do it to himself - his own cock twitching enthusiastically in response - and then he backed away and headed back to the front door.

Aziraphale could keep the pastries.

Crawly's cock was harder than ever before, clearly having gotten ideas from Aziraphale's display. Crawly rubbed at it through his robes, just for a moment, before stepping out of the door and closing it quietly. He dashed home, and thanks to a demonic miracle, no one so much as glanced at him.

Once in the privacy of his own home, sat comfortably in his favourite chair, Crawly hitched up his robe and held the material against his thigh – just as he had seen Aziraphale do – and then he took his cock in hand. He started to stroke it up and down experimentally, adjusting how tightly he held himself, learning as he went, until he found himself gasping, his hand moving frantically. Each stroke brought tingling sensations of pleasure as beads of moisture formed at the head of his cock. He didn't understand what was happening to him, all he knew was that he wanted more, trying to find something that seemed just out of his reach. His actions were not helping his cock go back to normal either – in fact he was harder than ever before - but right now he didn't care because it felt incredible.

The image of Aziraphale doing this to himself was at the forefront of his mind, and Crawly tried to match the pace Aziraphale had set, tried to copy what Aziraphale had been doing. He wondered if it had felt this good for Aziraphale too, he'd certainly looked like he was enjoying it.

Crawly tensed, whimpering helplessly as an unstoppable wave of pure ecstasy gripped him, leaving him trembling and gasping. His eyes widened in shock as some white stuff shot out of him, landing on his hands, his knee, and on the floor. Was that supposed to happen? What a mess!

Once he had his breath back, he cleaned up – with the help of his demonic magic – and then he poured himself a much needed glass of alcohol.

When he next saw Aziraphale he was going to tell him off for not warning him that he would squirt all over the place at the end.

At least Aziraphale was right - his cock was now steadily going back to normal.