A/N: This is my first SPOP fic... I had this idea a long time ago, and I only got around to it now.
DISCLAIMER - This is NOT character bashing, but it will criticize Catra, Lonnie and Rogelio. I don't hate them, but they still treated Adora and Kyle pretty badly. Besides, this centers around Adora and Kyle, their experiences and feelings are completely valid. I would appreciate it if you don't send hate comments here.
Otherwise, I hope this is good enough. Enjoy!
Once again, she feels like a complete screw-up.
Adora's mask falls as soon as the door of Glimmer's room closes behind her. Her friend insisted she would be fine, and that she and Bow had things to catch up. After that, Glimmer would recharge so she heals.
Which, due to Adora's experience with Shadow Weaver, doesn't convince her in the slightest.
Adora stares at the sword, the one given to her by the very person who'd stolen it. Just like the first time she wielded the weapon, Adora is… perturbed. Not that she dislikes being She-Ra, but everyone still gets in trouble because of her. Glimmer and Bow did. Entrapta did. It's the way it's always been, right?
But she can fix things, she will… Adora will heal Glimmer with her sword. She's She-Ra, after all.
Even though Adora has absolutely no idea how, but she should figure it out in no time.
When she gets inside her room to train, she does jolt at the unknown presence sitting on her bed – and as an instinct, Adora lifts her sword to attack.
"W-Wait! It's me!" They yell.
Adora drops her stance and feels stupid for completely forgetting about Kyle.
"Oh, Kyle! Sorry," Adora sighs. "I have a lot in my mind…"
Kyle ignores the scene, instead asking, "A-Are your friends okay?"
Adora blinks and her expression falls deeper in her despair. "Bow is, but Glimmer…" She shuts her eyes for a moment and continues, "I don't know what Shadow Weaver did to her. And I don't know if I can…"
Adora falls quiet because she shouldn't question it, she should focus on getting the answer to help Glimmer. But Adora is so lost, about her being helpful at all, her role as She-Ra, as a friend…
Her silence is deafening, yet Kyle speaks up.
"Adora… I'm sorry," he says, "if it weren't for us, she would've been fine. Y-You wouldn't have lost Princess Entrapta, either. We shouldn't…" Kyle gulps, "I shouldn't have helped kidnap them. I should've done something."
The blond girl gazes back at him quietly. Adora doesn't know what to say.
"Listen, you… you don't have to trust me. I understand," Kyle argues. "I hurt your friends, I helped hurt so many people…"
Adora doesn't blame him. Not much.
"I… I trust you, Kyle," she says. "It's not like I'm the best example here," Adora smirks sadly.
Kyle can't help the smile either. It fades quickly. "Still, it doesn't erase everything I've done…"
"Yeah, I know… But I'm glad you got out," Adora tells him.
Kyle looks surprised and flustered at her position. Following that, he sighs exasperatedly, "Man, me too."
Adora finally sits on the bed, that feels like home but at the same time, she knows it isn't the same. Kyle hesitates but joins her, except he stays far from her; maybe afraid to approach her. While Adora doesn't actually hold anything against him, she doesn't think she deserves the comfort, either.
It's strange, really. Adora and Kyle have never been this close. Sure, they'd been together for as long as they remember in the Horde, but they never had moments of closure, of reflection. Not while Adora had Catra, both under Shadow Weaver's stalking presence. Adora couldn't actually get close to anyone else.
Now is odd but… it's not bad, either. Adora doesn't actually want to be alone with her guilt swallowing her alive. It helps having some company.
The girl looks down at her sword, her reflection sad, regretful, exhausted, confused. Adora thought the sword would help her figure things out, but she only feels as lost – if not more than before.
Kyle must be feeling the same (under different circumstances, obviously). Especially as he breaks the somewhat comforting and understanding silence between them.
"Actually, I… I don't know what I'm going to do now. The Horde was my entire life, you know?" Kyle opens up. "I never thought I'd get to leave it, even if part of me wanted to."
Adora nods simply.
"When you left… I remember everyone got mad. Lonnie would say you 'betrayed' us. Catra didn't really say anything, but… I knew she was upset, too," Kyle continues. "But I guess no one really understood why you left. I didn't, until I met Bow. He was… really understanding with me. He really cared about Princess Glimmer. All of your friends went there to rescue her, and you sacrificed yourself to save her…" Kyle looks at Adora with admiration. "I never met people like you. We were always told the Princesses were awful, horrible people… but you guys really care."
Adora thinks about Glimmer and Bow, and the rest of the Princesses. How they went lengths to save their friends, and how… how devastated they are after losing Entrapta. Maybe they haven't been to the Alliance in years – and now they've left again… but Kyle is right. They care a lot.
"Then it finally came to me. The Horde… they don't care about friendships. They don't care about anything or anyone else. They only care about winning and conquering things, until there's nothing left. You have to be useful, you have to fight and kill people, even who you grew up with, to get what you want," Kyle says somberly. Adora doesn't think he's ever sounded this certain before. "A-And don't get me wrong, I… I love Rogelio and Lonnie, and- and even Catra, I really do, but they don't get it. In the end, that's all what they think, too: that I'm a traitor. That we are the traitors."
Adora is shocked at everything he's just said, because she doesn't think anyone has ever worded everything out so perfectly. Putting these feelings into words is… helpful. Obviously for Kyle, but for Adora as well.
Sometimes Adora wonders if she made the right choice at all. Sure, Madam Razz told her to follow what she thinks – but even so, Adora sometimes questions whether her thoughts are right or not. And considering she has messed up a lot, sometimes Adora doesn't think she should have become She-Ra at all. She wonders if she should have stayed in the Horde with everyone else. With Catra.
But what Kyle said is so true. The Horde seeks to conquer everything and eliminate everyone that gets in their way. Adora… felt that in her skin. Shadows that surrounded her. Claws that sliced her back and her face. Words, endless words that wanted to entice her, that would try to draw her back to a place she was never free, and a place she was trained to hurt others, too.
Regardless, the fact the same claws gave her the sword and didn't stop her…
Adora shakes her head. They've hurt her. They would keep hurting her to get what they want. She wouldn't stand by it and let everyone else suffer. Adora chose to be She-Ra for this reason.
She will fix this.
"I… I miss them," Kyle sighs, "I don't think I'll ever forget them… but I couldn't stand being thrown away like that anymore. Nobody valued me. Nobody… valued anything else. I won't be helping them anymore." Kyle looks at Adora again. "If- If you want, I can help you guys. I also know about some of their plans. If they haven't changed them. B-But it's up to you, of course."
Adora smiles proudly for the first time today. "We'll fight them together."
Kyle grins at her gratefully.
She admits she was surprised at first to have Kyle come along with the princesses… but right now, she figures out that it makes sense. Kyle is loyal, but not really to the Horde itself, she realizes. No matter how awful it was for him, Kyle would always stick with his friends. The friends that… weren't really his friends.
Adora scoots a little closer to him and, with a few seconds of consideration, she places a hand on his shoulder. She's not really good at this.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Kyle," Adora apologizes. "I really wasn't a good friend to you. I used you as a punching bag for all these years…"
"Oh." Kyle lowers his gaze for a while. "It's okay."
"It's not. You- You deserve better much better friends. And…" Adora pauses. "I hope I can be one for you now, if you want."
She's a little startled by the boy's sparkling, tearful eyes. Before Adora can think, she's already wrapped in the tightest hug she's been in.
"Thank you so much," Kyle tells her. "I'm really glad I'm here with you, Adora."
Adora can't help the flustered warmth in her chest. She relaxes her shoulders and hugs him back. "Yeah, me too."