Her family had decided to celebrate her birthday even though they had missed it. It had passed while she was locked up.
Jessie wasn't sure if she was thrilled with the idea, but wasn't able to say anything, given how aside from her weak apology to her parents after being safe for a week, Jessie hadn't spoken a word since her birthday.
Her birthday had been the only thing she hadn't let her uncle see when she allowed him in her mind to relay what had happened while she was trapped with her friend Priam. Priam hadn't even known.
They could all see the three scars on her cheek, and she knew they wondered, wondered how she got them, but she wouldn't give them that answer. Not until she was ready to speak herself. She needed to be the one to explain that day, and until she was ready, it would be her secret.
He had started bringing healers in the room, and while she and Priam had tried, it was clear they worked for Darnall closely, and wouldn't help them escape. They had only ever healed Priam and her enough to stay conscious, and stay alive. Never enough to truly heal.
She had woken up that morning to see that Priam had already moved away, separating from the body heat so Darnall wouldn't know and find a way to stop them from seeking any kind of warmth in their sleep. Because if Darnall had seen them sleeping together to stay warm on the damp freezing stone floor, they didn't know what he would do.
The cell door opened, and two guards walked in. One grabbing her, and one restraining Priam. Suddenly Jessie had been hauled to her feet and being moved out.
Fear filled her immediately, it wasn't her turn. Today was Priams day, she went yesterday. It wasn't her turn, why were they dragging her back to that room for the second day in a row. They had just sliced open her back, in messy deep cuts, from her right shoulder to left hip. It wasn't her day!
Priam was also fighting against the guard restraining him. "Today's MY DAY! Leave her alone!" Priam fought, insisting the guards bring him to the torture room instead of Jessie.
Someone had touched her arm, and had Jessie physically flinching away from the touch. She still wasn't doing good with touch. If she initiated it, she was fine, because she had control of it. Other than that, her family had quickly learned not to touch her without her nod of permission.
"Aidan Sol, we have told you, that you can't just touch your sister without her approval." Her father said, sounding frustrated, and at a loss of patience. The same kind that came with having to constantly repeat himself multiple times the last few weeks.
Jessie looked down towards her brother, to see his eyes, as russet as her fathers normal one, wide in guilt and fear. Fear for her, she realized, that he had hurt her.
"Jessie, I'm sorry! I forgot, I'm really sorry! It was a habit. Please Jessie, I'm sorry!" Which left Jessie feeling a bit guilty herself. It wasn't Aidans fault she feared touch now. He knew yes, but he only slipped into habit or forgot when he wasn't paying attention. He was only ten, so she couldn't blame him.
She looked at her brothers arm on the table, as he was frozen in fear and guilt. She looked at his arm, and decided to, very slowly, place her left hand on top of his arm. Slowly she looked back up to his face and offered a small smile, and nodded her forgiveness.
Jessie watched as her younger brother looked from her face, down to his arm, her hand, with shock shining in his eyes, at her resting her hand on his arm. She then noticed he was staring at her fingers, at the stub where her ring finger was.
"I want the ring finger from her left hand. Maybe then, every time she looks down, she will see the emptiness where that finger was, and remember that eavesdropping comes with heavy consequences." Darnall had said, that first day.
Jessie pulled her hand off of her brothers arm, and put it back down in her lap. It was an effort to not rip it away at the memory that filled her mind at seeing it herself. She looked back up to her brother to see frustration filling his gaze.
"What happened Jessie? All mum and dad will say is while you were gone, you were getting hurt. That that's why you are scared from being touched, and why you won't talk anymore. But Jessie, what really happened?"
Slowly, she fell back into the memory.
Jessie was dragged through the cold stone hallway to the torture room. She had stopped fighting, knowing it would do her no good, if anything she would be hurt more from fighting.
She didn't know why Darnall had decided to take her to this room twice in a row. He had been very persistent in alternating days, so there was enough time to rest so it was easier to live and stay awake on the next visit. He never took her or Priam two days in a row.
She was left sitting in the torture room, waiting for Darnall to come in, and when he did, she knew he recognized her fear and confusion instantly, as he smiled in the sick joy he felt in torturing his prisoners.
"Happy Birthday Jessie dear!" Darnall exclaimed excitedly, though there wasn't an ounce of friendliness in his eyes as he did so. She was suddenly filled with fear over what he would do to her today, to satisfy his own sick humour.
She had forgotten how close her birthday was, and now that it was here, she couldn't help feel terrified.
Coming back to the present, Jessie noticed Aidan was no longer looking at her, instead looking at his breakfast in anger. She wondered how long she was gone, and what her parents had said while she was lost in her memories.
"Jessie, dear." Her mother said, and Jessie had to keep from cringing, since it was the same thing he called her. Her birthday was the first day he addressed her that way, and after that, he wouldn't stop.
Slowly though, Jessie looked towards her parents who were looking at her in concern. Again, she wondered how long she was gone in her memories, in her head.
She tried not do fall down that hole around her parents, because the concern only made her feel worse. Like she wasn't handling what happened right.
"Jessie dear, are you sure you're ready for these celebrations this evening? I'm sure no one will mind if we reschedule, if you aren't ready." Her mother said to her.
No. I'm not ready. And don't— please, don't call me that. She wanted to respond. Unable to speak though, and not wanting to cause more concern, Jessie plastered on a smile on her face, before nodding her head.
No, she wasn't ready. But she was to scared to indicate otherwise.
"Why don't you go rest for a bit, and we'll set things up down here." Her father said to her. At least he was trying to sound as if everything was normal. He was failing at it, but at least he was trying.
Nodding as she stood up, Jessie looked at her parents before turning to head for her room, having barely even touched her breakfast, just like every morning.
She sat there, trying not to let her fear show, as she waited to see what he was going to do to her today, when suddenly, a guard brought in—
She couldn't even say it vaguely resembled a cake. The thing the guard brought in was clearly intended for her to eat, and while she knew it wouldn't kill her, she was heavily concerned that it would cause her to get sick.
"Cleaning out the kitchen, replacing the old food with fresh new food, I realized that there was enough to make a birthday cake. I didn't want the food to go to waste, even if it is past it's expiration date. So I had a cake made just for you! See, I can be kind!" Darnall had said to her, as the thing, the cake was placed in front of her, as well as a fork, and a glass of dirty looking water. The smell of it all was enough where she had to fight not to gag.
"Go ahead! Eat up! It is your birthday after all!" Darnall said smiling, as if he was entirely excited and focused on her eating the rancid cake.
Daring to glare at him, Jessie shook her head. "I will noteat that. There isn't anything you could do, that would compel me enough to even consider taking so much as a bite." She was glaring as she spoke.
This seemed to be the response he wanted though, as the humour shone in those blue eyes. "Jessie dear. I didn't want to do this on your birthday, but if you don't eat this cake, I will have my guards slice into that soft cheek of yours. So I do suggest eating your cake." Darnall sounded as if he truly didn't want to hurt her today, but the unrestrained pure joy in his eyes said otherwise.
"I am not eating that thing." Jessie declared, not backing down.
Jessie did not miss the pure glee in Darnalls eyes as he looked to his guards, before they stepped forward. Two to restrain her, the third, always the same one, with a knife in his hand.
The first thing she noticed was that the blade was dull. That would mean going slow, and retracing the cut to "make sure it was sufficient enough" with such a poor quality blade.
She stopped paying attention to much of anything as the knife broke the skin of her cheek, starting just above her cheek bone, and dug its way through, all the way down her cheek, the taste of her own blood quickly making its way into her mouth.
The pain was horrific, that was the only thing Jessie could think of, as the first of her three scars on her cheek was cut into her.
As she made her way downstairs, still in the sweater and pants from that morning. She saw the outfit her mother had chosen for her, but refused to wear it. Couldn't wear it.
She walked into the hall standing in front of the closed doors. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready for a crowd. She wasn't ready to pretend like she was happy her family decided to celebrate her birthday tonight, so she could 'have a happy memory of turning 26.' But she wasn't happy.
She wasn't happy, she felt like she forgot what it even felt like to be happy. She was constantly living in a state of fear, of stress. Knowing it was upsetting her family seeing her like this is why she pretended to be happy. But she wasn't.
Every time she closed her eyes, she was surrounded by darkness, and a dampness in the air, with freezing cold stones surrounding her.
After the pain of having her cheek sliced open, Jessie pulled just enough courage together to shoot a weak glare at Darnall, who looked like his fun had only just begun.
"Well I hope you're done being rude, because the cake you blatantly refused, is only the first of your presents. In fact, where is it?" Darnall had asked, twisting in his seat, before pulling something out that must have been hanging over his seat.
The dress she saw, it was the one she had worn that night. The dress her mother had picked out. The gown she had worn the night he kidnapped her. The gown that had been sitting in the cell, which she and Priam had used as a barrier from the stone floor while sleeping. The very same gown they had been ripping pieces of cloth off to bandage each wound they had received the past two months. It had disappeared five nights ago.
"It's much shorter now, probably won't reach your knees. But I had it fixed. It no longer looks ripped. The arms were a lost cause, since they were ripped right up the length of them. I know it was already your dress, but it really isn't the gown you wore that night. Why don't you go ahead and try it on." Darnall had smiled before handing over the short dress.
"I'm not putting that on. It's too short." Jessie said shaking her head.
Darnall then looked at her, with a cruel smile that chilled her bones. "You can either put it on yourself, or I will have another slice added to that new one on your cheek. Either way, you will be wearing it." Darnall had leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
Refusing to back down, despite her fear, she shook her head. "I'm not putting it on."
Anger had flashed through those blue eyes, before it was quickly replaced with his sick amusement. Before sitting back. Without looking away from her face he spoke his next words. "Right above the first one. And when you're done, strip her of those clothes and put her in the dress."
Again, Jessie was restrained, as the knife was pressed to the same cheek, and started digging in. The pain was, somehow, worse this time.
"Jessie?"
She heard her name as she was pulled out of her memories again. She looked down to see glass and water on the floor in front of her feet.
When had she come into the room with everyone? When had she opened that door? Did someone else open the door? She didn't know. What she did know was that she had been pulled from her memories.
She looked to her mother, who had been the one to say her name, to see her by the table with food on it. Everyone was looking at her with concern, and she couldn't take it. She wasn't fragile, she was anything but fragile. Those months away proved she wasn't. She was still here. No matter how much he broke her, or cut her open, or— She was still here.
So what if she couldn't talk right now, or she flinched away from every touch. She would heal. Eventually. But she was not fragile, and she hated how everyone always looked at her with a concern that said they thought she was fragile. That she was going to break easily.
"Jessie dear, I had just asked if you would like a piece of cake." Her mother said softly, a small smile on her face as she made her way over to Jessie, plate already in her hand.
Not hiding the cringe at that name, Jessie didn't realize her fingers coming up to touch the three ugly scars on her cheek, now healed.
She couldn't do this. There was too many people here, and they were celebrating for their benefit. It wasn't her they were doing this for, because her birthday had been a turning point in that hell. She didn't want to relive it, even if it was to get happy memories for it.
Shaking her head she turned to the door, and ran out of the room. She couldn't pretend to be happy for this fake birthday. Not with how her real one had been. How it had started a new type of tortuous hell in that place.
She didn't run for her room, she didn't run for the gardens. She didn't go to her parents room. When she stopped running, she realized she was standing in her fathers office.
Not caring where she was, she walked to the corner, and slid down the wall. When sitting she pulled her knees to her chest, hid her face, and started to cry.
With two slashes through her cheek, and now unwillingly standing in a dress that was too short, losing any will she had to fight back. She had some, but it quickly leaving her.
She took a step back, as Darnall stepped closer. She refused to look up towards him, too afraid of what she would see.
A hand gripped her chin, and he pulled her face up to look him in the eyes. The humour she saw in them was the exact thing she didn't want to see. She didn't want to see how much he enjoyed hurting her, humiliating her. "I think you look great in that dress." Darnall mentioned, joy sparking in his eye.
Jessie had tried to pull her face free, so he would let go of her chin. Instead he only gripped her chin tighter. Her gaze turned icy, as she glared at him. "Fuck you." She spat the words out at him.
Next thing she felt was his hand, as he slapped her across the face, slapping her sliced up cheek. She held in her cry of pain then, and as Darnall had grabbed her chin again, forcing her to look at his face, see the rage within his eyes, still blue, but darkened like a storm cloud, and even then, like flashes of lightning, there was joy and humour dancing within.
She was confused, as the whole time she's been here, he had never touched her. But here he was, holding onto her chin, after having just slapped her across the face. Why was he touching her now? She didn't know.
"Proper ladies do not use such harsh profanity." Darnall was speaking through clenched teeth. "The next time, Jessie Dear, that you open your mouth to speak, without my allowing it—and even then, it better be something I want to hear—I will have your tongue cut out of your mouth. I wouldn't test me if I were you."
Then Darnalls mouth was on hers, and Jessie froze. To scared to move or push him away, she completely froze. The hand still gripping her chin pulling her chin down, in way of opening her mouth, so he could deepen his kiss. His other hand started exploring other parts of her body.
Completely frozen she could do nothing but stand there and take it. She felt, more than heard, the pleased sound he made when his hand found a scabbed wound or mostly healed scar.
That was when she couldn't take it anymore, and shoved him off of her, backing away. She didn't get far before there were guards grabbing her arm, and sitting her down in the extra chair.
Looking at Darnall she realized she had fallen into a trap. She had done exactly what he had wanted her to do. She could see the laughter as he sat in his own chair, looking at her.
"That is three gifts now I have given you. And you have rudely refused all three. So let's add a third cut right below the first one. Let these remind you to be gracious when receiving presents." Darnall could have been singing it he seemed so happy about their circumstances.
His guard stepped up, placed his blade on her cheek, and quickly sliced through it, about an inch below her first cut.
It was quicker, but it was more painful, as the cut went deeper. Jessie couldn't hold back her cries of pain.
When the cut was done, she sat there, her hand covering her cheek. Three new cuts that would scar. Two rough and ugly, and one clean and deep.
"I gave you three gifts today. All of which you rudely refused. What do you think you should say?" Darnall asked her, with a cruel smirk.
It took a few minutes of sitting there, refusing to look at him, until Jessie was able to say anything past the pain in her cheek. Even opening her mouth the smallest bit shooting sparks of pain through her whole face.
"I'm sorry, and thank you." She spoke the words, knowing then, she would not speak another word to him as long as she knew him, but knew it wouldn't stop him from doing this all over again.
"Jess?"
There was a hand on her knee, as her name was whispered. Without knowing who was there, she extended her leg in aim to kick whoever had touched her.
She missed, so she looked up fear circling her, only to meet familiar warm green eyes. Very different from the cruel blue ones in her memory.
Priam. He was here. She didn't know he was even here, and he had seen her run out of the party in fear. Without thinking, Jessie shifted to where she was on her knees and pulled Priam down into a hug. He was the only one she wasn't hesitant or afraid of touching.
He had become her comfort in that place, and would always bring her a sense of comfort. No matter how many years would pass, and no matter how healed they would become, he would always be someone she would be comfortable with.
She felt his arms wrap around her in his return hug, and she broke down even more, just crying, as she hid her face in his shirt. It had only been a month, but she had missed him. He was the only person who knew what she went through. He was there too. He knew.
They knelt there just hugging each other for a few minutes before moving to sit against the wall. Priam had an arm around her, holding her close, in effort to comfort her, help her calm down. It was working.
She didn't know though, how he had even found her, but couldn't bring herself to ask.
As if he had read her mind though, he answered her unspoken question, speaking no higher than a whisper. "When everything that had happened finally hit me, causing me to snap, I ran to my fathers office, so I thought I might find you in yours. And here you are."
Jessie looked up at him, biting her tongue. She found that she did that a lot since her birthday, just to remind herself it was still there. She was choosing not to speak, but she could when she was ready.
Slowly, Priam lifted his fingers to brush against her marred cheek, causing Jessie to close her eyes. "These ones here. It was your birthday when you got them, wasn't it?" Priam asked gently. Quietly.
Jessie had kept her eyes closed as she nodded. Priam hadn't taken his fingers off her cheek as he asked his next question. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Frantically, Jessie started shaking her head, her eyes opening wide in fear, not wanting to voice those memories yet.
Priam gently pulled Jessie closer, urging her head down and to calm down. Starting to smooth her hair back, reassuring her that it was okay. "When you're ready, and you want to talk about it, I will be here. Send word, and I will come to you within minutes. I won't leave you to face this alone."
Jessie closed her eyes, and for the first time since she had seen Priam last, finally allowed herself to relax, as she felt Priam rest his head on top of her own.
They were safe. They were free. And even though there was four courts between them, they were together through this.