Recollecting

By: Karma's Slave

Disclaimer: I don't own any part in the Attack on Titan franchise.

Warning: Possible Spoilers

Setting: Post-Aot, Slightly AU, sequel to Reminiscing. Also references to Lost Girls.

Pairing: RivaMika, Levi/Mikasa.

One-Shot

Mikasa Ackerman being scared is a complete understatement. She is a former soldier who fought gigantic humanoids commonly known as titans to the people of Paradis, the threat of death always being constant unwanted companion amongst her friends and allies. Hell she'd propelled her body into the air on the ODM gear which is just as dangerous in its own right regardless of training, one wrong move and it'll cost you big time.

She sat up in her bed, the nightmare was too much to brush off this night, and unlike the ones she'd gotten used too.

So why did this scare her of all things? Mikasa lightly placing her fingers on the skin of her body that was starting to harden with the growth of her and Levi's first child.

A child…An Ackerman child to be born in a post Titan world but still to world that is beautifully cruel to those living in it.

Most women were supposed to be happy when with child, right? Mikasa didn't know any other pregnant women. Historia was in hiding during her first pregnancy. So really no other point of reference well except for...her, the mother she'd lost when she was nine years old.

Was she supposed to feel melancholy? Was it okay for her to be?

It made her feel like shit, she didn't want to feel unworthy of her own child.

She didn't dare tell Levi any of this yet.

She'd been thinking a lot about her parent's lately, she'd pushed them deep into the back of her mind as she went to live her life with the Yeager's and then eventually with the Survey Corps.

Mikasa couldn't stop herself from thinking of all the 'What ifs' that have been running through her mind lately. Especially that day had Eren not saved her from human trafficking kidnappers, would she still have met Levi? Would Levi of the Underground have saved her? As she learned of his Underground past.

Or how much her life would have been different if her father hadn't been the one to answer the door what if her mother had, would seeing his pregnant wife and daughter in danger would have caused his own Ackerman abilities to wake up and save his family, would she have then ever awakened hers if that had been the case, if Mikasa had simply not frozen up could she have at least saved one parent?

Mikasa always thought it was abnormal that two surviving members of victimized clans didn't know how to defend themselves against the vile people like the ones who tore their family apart.

Taking a deep shaky breath, she loved her parents she did. But her scared nine year old self hated them for leaving her alone. She hated how one deep stab wound took her father down, at least her mother tried even in her delicate condition. The sound of their bodies hitting the ground would never leave her mind even after all the exposure to fighting titans, the final screams of 104th cadets who didn't survive Trost or even the sound of her sword decapitating Eren.

But Mikasa never told this to anyone, not even her once precious Eren. She hated that she couldn't save them, how often late in the night she'd wish to turn back time and save them. Maybe that's part of the reason why she got so crazy attached to Eren in the first place and she mistook it as love. Mikasa didn't want to be left alone ever again but that's what Eren ended up doing to her in the long run.

She wonder if Levi felt anything similar in regard to his own mother. From what he'd told her. It explained his need for cleanliness. She couldn't imagine being left alone with the bodies of her parents for that same length of time and no one caring enough to check. Meeting Kenny Ackerman must have been the best worst day of Levi's life.

It sadden Mikasa to think that this child would have no grandparents to fawn over them.

Her nightmare was her childhood all over again, except the role of her father was played by Levi, she was her mother and the child they have yet to meet already born, she couldn't make out the child's face to tell if it was a boy or girl. Everything played out the same except no one was there to save their child as they were taken away screaming for their mother and father to 'wake-up'

Bringing a hand to her face to wipe away at her watering eyes "It was just a nightmare" she mutters to herself as she didn't wasn't to wake and worry Levi. Logically Mikasa knew she wasn't like her parents, she wasn't weak anymore she could save her child, and so could Levi even in his physical condition.

It was the idea of leaving her child alone that terrified her more than anything, like she had been, and Levi as well. Her finger tips stroking the area to calm herself down.

Mikasa was broken out of her thoughts as a gentle touch broke her out of her thoughts and fears. She turned to see Levi awake, eyes meeting in their traditional silent communication that they have mastered in the Survey Corps.

Levi simply and gently pulled Mikasa down to him and having her close to him with her head on his shoulder as he adjusted his position to accommodate her body. His touch was relaxing to her as it distracted her from all the painful memories. His good hand stroking her arm to help ease her as his other hand joined hers up top on the small bump that made them closer than ever before.

It reminded Mikasa that she wasn't alone anymore, neither was Levi. They weren't either of their parents and more importantly. Their child wasn't going to be alone.

Nor was their child going to be harmed by anyone or thing.

Because Hell hath no fury like an Ackerman scorned.