Reiji was seventeen when the first bud fell from his lips.

It came as suddenly as the feelings had, though he's too young and innocent to really think of its meaning. He jokes about the petals that fell beside his friends, laughing along at the stories that passed between all the other students. Some of them sounded like horror stories, and others sounded too unbelievable to even consider as reality. It isn't until he wakes up in agony, scratching at his throat in hopes of stopping the pain that crawled up before he realized the true extent of what is happening to him.

Hanahaki Disease.

The disease had claimed many and the stories were magical in their own horrifying way. Now, Reiji found himself following the pages of a book he couldn't escape from.

"Yo, Reiji. What's wrong?"

Snapped from the reverie the petals left him in, Reiji picks his head up to stare at one of his best friends. "Ehh? Are you concerned for me, Kei?" He leans in towards his friend, letting a grin replace the concentrated frown from before. It was too easy.

"As if. Hey, back off."

"Don't be so harsh, Kei." Aine shakes his head, his loose turquoise locks flying casually at the motion.

Reiji laughs as he backs off, letting himself slip in step behind the others. What he should've expected was for Aine to follow closely, slipping back to fall into step beside him.

"What's wrong, Reiji?"

He can hear an argument already budding from Hibiki and Kei but pays no mind to it as he tries to think of what he could possibly say to Aine of all people. I'm sorry but some dumb flower disease has decided what emotions I'm feeling, and now it seems I'm going to die for you. Those didn't exactly roll off the tongue easily.

Reiji shrugs his shoulders as he slaps a fake grin onto his face. He could feel his throat constrict around the obvious vines growing there, but he pays them no mind. He can't really afford to. "Just thinking about the recording test we have next week. Ryuya already yelled at me to get my paper in on time."

His lie seems to work because Aine sighs as he smiles back at him. Success. "You should listen to him, Reiji. You won't get far if you can't even fill out something as simple as that. I know you're able to do it."

"Thanks, Aine. You really are the best." Reiji goes to sling his arm around him but is halted by a wave of nausea that overwhelms him.

Everything around him goes dark as he feels his body convulse to the ground.

When he wakes up again, he's lying in the nurse's office. It doesn't take a genius to realize why, and the sick feeling from before returns in full as he remembers what happened. Did he... choke them back? Did he see? What if-

"You're awake! Reiji, how do you feel?"

There's clear panic in his voice, and Reiji spends more time hoping that it's not there for the very reason he fears. "I've-" He has to cough to clear his voice, doing so with a hand over his mouth in case any petals reveal themselves. "I've been better." The wince that appears following his words only validate that statement.

"I'm glad you're alright. We all got so scared. I'll go grab the nurse. I'll be right back. I promise." Aine hurries off quickly, returning before Reiji even realizes he's gone. This time, a nurse is in his wake.

"Thank you, Kisaragi. I can take it over from here."

Reiji winces again. He knows exactly why she's chasing Aine out. He's even less surprised to see Ryuya enter the room not too long after.

"How long?" Ryuya hovers by his bed, arms crossed at his chest as he speaks to the nurse. His eyes don't shift away from Reiji's own as he speaks, clearly searching his gaze for some sort of reaction to the news he knows he's about to receive.

The nurse looks over a few papers on the clipboard in her hands before releasing a long sigh. He knows exactly what the sigh is for.

"A little over a month but no longer than two. It's hard to tell, but the vines are progressing drastically. Albas grow in clumps down the vines. From how ragged his breathing is coming out, I'd say the bulbs must be large and tearing at the inner walls of his lungs. I give it roughly two weeks."

Ryuya's expression is just as grim as Reiji's own is. "Did you plan on hiding it until the end?"

"I..." What did he plan on doing? "I don't know."

"So you have something that's going to kill you from the inside, and you don't have a plan at all?"

Reiji plasters on a saddened smile, knowing full well how pointless it would be to try hiding anything from the other at this point now. "Pretty much."

Ryuya shakes his head at him, clearly frustrated with Reiji's answer. "Sounds half-assed to me. You know love is still forbidden, right? I'm going to tell you what your only two options are, and I'm going to hope you take the one every other student in the idol course who's had this disease has taken. Surgery or... well, you know the other. We can give you something to suppress it, but that'll only prolong the pain. It's progressed in you too far to really hold back much longer, so it'll only be effective for a short time."

Reiji did know. He just didn't want it to be real. He nodded as he averted his gaze down to his fingers that twisted over each other as he thought about it. "I'll take care of it."

Ryuya nodded, but it was obvious how distrustful he was of the other. It's not as if Reiji sounded convincing either, though. Of course he would feel that way.

Reiji takes the small orange bottle handed to him by the nurse, flinching at the expression of pity she wears as she hands them over.

"This should help push it back a week. Maybe. It would be best if you go to a family doctor as quickly as you can to assess the damage and to tell how far along you really are. In my position, I can only guess. You could be farther along than I really know." She gives him a slip of paper with clear directions as to how to take the new medication. "Take two of those each night. You can take an extra one before sleep if you feel it to be necessary. Do not take anything more than that in a day, though. This is all I can do for you at my level of expertise."

He doesn't say anything as he accepts the information, rolling it over and over again in his mind. A surgery would mean the permanent removal of emotions towards what he considers to be his best friend. Not going through with one would mean the end of all his emotions... It would end himself. He knows that if the vines crawl up all the way to his throat that he won't be able to sing. If he can't sing... what would be the point of even bothering with the surgery in the first place?

Why did he have to get this?

The nurse lets him rest, knowing he's mulling over all of his decisions as he sits in the bed. He can feel the vines twist in his stomach as he plays out each and every scenario. The only one he wins in is confessing to Aine... but then he would be kicked out of the Academy. Really, how did it end up like this?

Reiji hangs his head, giving up for now. Shoving the bottle into the pocket of his pants, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stalks out of the room. Whatever decision he makes, he won't be doing it here. Not now. Aine is probably hysterical over what happened. It would be best to get him settled before doing anything rash beyond this.

When he walks out of the office, Aine stands up abruptly worry following the line of his brows as they furrow.

"Well? Is everything alright? What happened?"

Reiji wants to sigh in relief but also scream at the same time. Aine should've seen the petals. But he's grateful he didn't. This was going to be a very confusing two or three weeks for him if he didn't figure out what to do. He grimaces at the other, already trying to string excuses together to get himself out of this one.

"I guess I didn't realize how sick I was getting." It's lame. He knows it is. Aine shouldn't buy it.

"Oh, okay..."

Good. Aine didn't buy it. Wait... shit.

Reiji shoves his hands in his pockets, one of them curving along the orange bottle that sits there unseen. Throwing a goofy grin on his face, he laughs as he walks towards the other. "C'mon, don't look so upset, Ai-chan! I'm fine! Ryuya's test is getting to me more than I thought it would, that's all!"

Aine doesn't look like he believes a word of the worthless excuse Reiji is feeding him, but his worried expression falters just a bit. "Are you sure? You should take the rest of the day off. I'll come by with the others to bring you something from the cafeteria. Hyuga-sensei should excuse you now that he's seen you. I can't figure out why he would be called here over a student falling ill, though..."

Reiji shrugs his shoulders, keeping a smile on his face as he attempts to stick with his facade. "Maybe he was just that worried about his top student~!"

Aine rolls his eyes, the tension falling from his shoulders. Reiji has to hold back the sigh he almost released in response. "Be realistic, Reiji. You are by far not his top student. Your grade on the rhythm analysis is the only thing saving you, even if it should almost be considered cheating."

"Hey!" Reiji falls into the easy laughter he's always known with his best friend, letting the topic of what occurred fall behind them as they begin to make their way back to his dorm room.

The next week flies by much faster than Reiji likes. It's clear to him that Aine never saw the flowers because he never asks about them. If he saw which flower it was, there wouldn't be a chance he'd escape questioning, moreso if Kei or Hibiki saw them. Either Aine didn't want to worry Reiji over it, he was really good at keeping secrets, or he genuinely didn't notice them at all. He hoped the last option was the truthful one.

Of course the pain is still unbearable, but Reiji continues appearing on variety shows and at other jobs he had to go through as part of his graduation requirements. The vines have in fact cut their way through his throat, and on his breaks he's spending more time trying to chug down water and choking down petals than he is doing any rehearsing of any sort.

It's exhausting to keep up appearances like this, but he still doesn't know what to do. The others have begun asking if he's alright more often, which scares him because quite frankly the others couldn't care less on a normal day. To have them be as concerned as they were... well, it was unsettling to say the least. Aine is also still incredibly suspicious that something else is going on, but he has yet to stop and ask Reiji any questions. It's a trait of Aine's that Reiji finds himself cursing and blessing at the same time.

He had to go back to the nurse to grab more of the pills. He knew that taking anymore than what was recommended was a horrible idea, but there was no other way to suppress the pain. It had been getting worse, and the flowers - that's right, full flowers now - that came out of him were a mix of stained blood and pure white. It's becoming too sickening to even see them. Of course it's probably his body reacting to the four or five pills he was downing in a day, but vomiting up everything he's eaten as well as petals and blooms were becoming a daily occurrence.

The day he grabs a new bottle is a day he takes off from classes. He didn't like skipping as much as he was beginning to do, but how could he show up in his current state? Singing was much too difficult with the vines working their way up to his throat, and it didn't seem to matter how much water he drank. To say the least, he looked to be a disheveled mess. That much was obvious to everyone.

"Reiji? Where have you been? I tried calling you, but clearly you aren't looking at your phone."

Ah, of course he happened to run into Aine again. Where would he be without such a great best friend by his side...

"Sorry, I had-" Reiji is thrown into a coughing fit, falling to his knees as he struggles to breathe through it. His vision grows splotchy around the edges as he tries to focus on something in front of him. Eventually he settles on Aine's shoes, forcing his eyes to stay open as he fights through the waves that try to overcome him.

"Reiji! Oh no... Reiji? Reiji, can you hear me? Reiji!"

It takes a bit of time before he can see straight again, and he almost wishes he couldn't. There's blood staining his fingers, but that isn't what scares him.

It's the look of horror on Aine's face as his eyes trace the patterns of blood dripping from the white petals of the full blooms that had fallen to the floor between them. Well... it was bound to happen eventually. Did he really believe he could hide it forever? It isn't as though he has much longer left anyway.

"Reiji... are these..."

Reiji simply stares down at the mess he's created, watching the blood drip slowly from the petals. What a strangely beautiful scene... It's unfortunate that it comes from a place of misery. Experiencing it firsthand is a lot different than just listening to the stories that paint the pictures themselves. Seeing it for himself like this... with the person the flowers were meant for in front of him... the whole scene felt surreal.

He nods his head slowly, coughing a few more times and wincing against the scratchiness in his throat. He absolutely can't look Aine in the eyes... not like this.

"Okay... U-uh... When did... this start...?"

He can hear how stunned Aine is, and he can't blame him in the slightest. "T-Two months..."

Aine gasps, immediately bending down to Reiji's level but hesitating on touching him just yet in fear of hurting him. "Okay well... L-Let's get you out of the hallway first. We shouldn't talk about this here."

Aine's voice is just as shaky as his fingers are as they fumble around to pick up the reddened white blooms that lay scattered along the ground. Slowly, he helps Reiji stand, staying silent as he begins leading them both back in the direction of what he assumes is Aine's room. Reiji doesn't try to look up once even when they make it to the room and even when he's seated on his bed. Aine rushes about the room, most likely trying to dispose of the flowers and wash his hands. He's a bit surprised - though he knows he shouldn't be - when Aine returns with a wet washcloth and a water bottle in his hands and begins working on cleaning up the blood left on Reiji's face.

Whoever Aine ends up with will be the happiest person ever, Reiji mentally notes.

"Alright so... Um... I know you probably don't want to talk about it... But I need to know what's going on. Did... Did I hear you right? Two months?" Aine sets the cloth aside and sits on the floor in front of Reiji, handing him the water bottle before settling fully.

Reiji can hear Aine swallow as he says those two words. He flinches as he hears them out loud for the second time but nods in response. He twists the cap off the bottle and chugs about half of it, staring at the bottle blankly as he continues to avoid his friend's eyes.

"Wow... I'd ask why you didn't say anything only... I know you better enough than asking that. Do... Do you know who it is?"

Of course he knows. Will he tell him is the better question. He could. No... he should. This would be the better time to do it. They were alone.

Reiji opens his mouth to speak but finds himself unable to produce any words. Instead of attempting again, he nods slowly as he sucks in a sharp breathing, awaiting Aine's possible response. He's a bit surprised to hear nothing come from the other. Carefully, Reiji glances away from the bottle to look up at his friend, shocked when he sees how dark Aine's expression is.

"And you haven't decided to do anything about it?"

Why is he so upset over this? "I-"

"Reiji, are you serious? This is how you want to go? You'd rather die than simply confess your feelings? Isn't that a bit too extreme even for you? I understand that you must be struggling because of the rule, but who cares if you're kicked out or not if you aren't even alive. Did you plan on leaving us - especially me - alone here? Please, Reiji... Help me understand... I just want to help. I-I wish I had known sooner..."

Reiji gasps as he sees tears begin to fall from Aine's eyes but the anger hidden in his gaze has him stuttering to find words. It's clear that he's messed up. Badly. "I-I... don't know... I didn't-"

"You didn't have a plan? At all?" Aine cuts him off abruptly, eyes widening in response. He looks just as lost as Reiji feels.

"W-Well... I was going to do something! I just... I didn't know... exactly what..."

Aine hangs his head, his cyan bangs falling in front of his eyes making it impossible for Reiji to see his reaction.

But when he speaks again, it's clear what position he holds.

"I'm sorry, Reiji. Could I... ask you to leave? Please..."

"Aine...? You're mad... aren't you? I guess I deserve this..." Reiji laughs humorlessly as he stares at the other, feeling tears stain his cheeks as they run from his eyes. Who wouldn't be angry in Aine's position? He expected too much...

"I just need time to think... I'm sorry. Please?"

Reiji can see Aine's shoulders shake, but he doesn't reach out to help him. He can't.

The brunette stands up and walks towards the door, the hand not wrapped around the water bottle hesitating as it reaches for the door knob. Letting himself glance back once more, he's unsurprised to find Aine's position unchanging. He sighs, ignoring the tears streaming down his own face as he walks out of the door and letting it shut behind him. Instead of continuing to walk away, Reiji slides down the length of the door and lets his head fall into his hands as he listens to the muffled noises Aine releases from the other side.

That night consists of the worst sleep he's ever gotten.

Three days later after receiving disciplinary notices for skipping as much as he had, Reiji is forced to appear on a variety show that Ryuya has decided would make up for a few of the missing assignments that were beginning to stack up for him. It requires three days of filming - or as Reiji would rather call it: three days of living hell.

He's forcing himself on more breaks then he's ever taken before, hiding out in his fitting room until his appearance is absolutely necessary. The amount of bloody flowers, petals and vines shoved into the trash can in the room is unsettling. The worst part is... that he completely forgets about his phone. It takes too much effort to clear out his throat long enough for the bursts of recording they do, so checking his phone is at the bottom of his list of priorities.

Only this is the one day it shouldn't be, but there's no way he could've predicted what would happen if he didn't.

It's the day Aine tried to drown himself and very nearly succeeded.

The only thing Reiji remembers of those next following weeks - other than the phone calls coming from just about everyone - is the pain from the surgery he finally decides to take just in time. He was told if he waited any longer than he had, that the flowers at his throat were about to bloom and suffocate him. There's a part of him that wishes they did sooner, but the masochistic side of himself wins over. He wants the feelings to disappear, though he knows the memories never will.

Reiji goes back to the Academy only a few days after the surgery, throwing himself into his work as an idol as he never had before. Despite the comments from Ryuya and everyone else around him, he pretends he can't hear them. After all, what could they possibly tell him that he doesn't already know?

The petals and vines may be gone, but the one person who truly understood him was. A gaping hole replaced the spot where any sort of emotion was kept for him just as the scratches and internal scars he held were still there despite the cause being torn from him.

Dicentra spectabilis, or Bleeding Heart. A flower holding more meaning for him now than ever before.

At the age of twenty-two, Reiji is known as one of the top freelancing artists in the industry. That same year he's introduced to a trio assigned to the same group project as himself: Quartet Night. At their very first meeting together, the scars lining his throat burn when he notices that one member looks all too familiar. He hangs back once the meeting ends, hoping to talk to him for even just a second. Though before he can even get a word in to the other, he's abruptly cut off.

"Don't confuse us. I'm Ai Mikaze."

Reiji's a bit taken aback but nods anyway, watching as the other strolls out after the others. It's odd... hearing a voice so different from his but seeing how similar their looks are. It's crazy how even their height is the same. There's an uneasy feeling that settles in the pit of his stomach as he watches him walk away, seeing him strike up a conversation with one of the others - Ranmaru, he thinks his name was.

In the next few weeks, Reiji learns that Ai either really doesn't want to talk about the situation at all or that he's under some sort of oath not to. It's obvious to him that Ai understands everything that's going on or else he wouldn't have chosen the words he had that first time. In time he stops trying to ask altogether, focusing on Ai Mikaze as a person.

However, Reiji can't hold the questions back for too much longer. He waits for a more opportune time, when they're both alone in the same rehearsal space. The two of them were assigned to a talk show discussing their first CD release as a group. They were being thrown back and forth everywhere the past month to promote it, but this is the first time Reiji finds himself alone with Ai. Being lucky enough to have a longer break on this particular shoot, Reiji jumped at the chance to bring the topic up. Of course this isn't the best space for it, but he'll never get a chance like this again. He knows it.

The questions flow from him like a flood, and Ai has to hold up a hand to stop him from throwing anymore at him. The look on his face must be apologetic because Ai sighs before he even begins to answer any of them.

"I am not him, but I serve as a vessel for information and memories."

"So you're his surrogate?" Reiji feels conflicted over the word as he speaks it, undeciding between anger or shock. Should he laugh? Would it be more acceptable if he cried? He hates the empty feeling that arises in his chest at the mere thought of his name being used in such a way.

"Frankly speaking, yes. That is, until he wakes up."

Until he wakes up... Reiji replays the words over and over again in his mind. He should feel something knowing that it was possible he could return, and he should say something about the copy in front of him. Only he can't. There are no feelings that run through him. There can't be. The flowers made sure of that.

"There is a twelve-point-eight percent chance he could wake up. That is all I know."

"And you're... a robot."

"Correct."

Fair enough. Reiji's more than worn out enough to even bother asking anything else. He can barely process the words, so it wouldn't make any sense to continue asking like this. It's the most he could probably get out of the other at this time anyway, so he should take it for what it is.

Ai Mikaze... just who are you...

When Quartet Night rehearsals first begin, Reiji's confusion only deepens about how the group is supposed to function as a whole. It becomes obvious immediately how ill-fitting they are. Ranmaru and Camus are already fighting, and as soon as Reiji speaks, they all turn to shut him down. Not only that but experiencing how different Ai's personality is in comparison to... well, he told himself he wouldn't compare the two of them, but it was becoming too difficult. His head spun when he saw the other, and he kept using his name to address Ai. Luckily enough, Ai didn't seem too bothered by it though Reiji has a sneaking suspicion he was letting it happen.

It doesn't take long before the ship sinks. Reiji tries as hard as he can, but he's also sick of the negativity and arguments. The only time any of them felt anything was when they first released their CD. Now that they were years into it, they really couldn't figure out how to be near each other without some sort of incident. It became infuriating for all of them. They didn't officially retire as a group or break it off since Shining made them promise to stick with the idea. He didn't push them into staying together. Camus left to be a part of his country again and stay by his Queen's side - Reiji still had no idea what he meant - while Ranmaru joined a band to stick with his own music and pay for important bills. Ai Mikaze just... disappeared.

Reiji found himself to be the closest to Ai, but it didn't mean they were best friends. Quite frankly, he knew they probably wouldn't ever get to that point. When he left, he left without a word as the other two had.

However before the four of them went their separate ways, there was one night Ai decided to talk to him about his situation entirely. It was... so much more than Reiji had expected. It turns out Shining was the one who issued the creation of Ai in hopes of gaining the perfect idol. For whatever reason, he had Aine's uncle commissioned for the project. The Professor went on to decide that connecting Ai to him would be a brilliant idea.

Reiji still isn't too sure that it is, but he has no say in any of this. He can only accept it for what it is.

Before his twenty-sixth birthday, Reiji is called into Shining's office. He shouldn't be surprised to find the rest of Quartet Night there as well, but he is. It had been two years since they last saw each other in this exact same position, only now they were called here a different reason entirely. They're told they will be assigned two juniors each to train, except for Camus who is lucky enough to only receive one. It doesn't come as a shocker to him when he hears they're taking part in the Master Course with STARISH. They were the group that graduated from Shining Academy two years before and blew away the world with their debut concert. Now, they had to live in the Master Course dorms together with their juniors. It gave the four of them the opportunity to discuss matters on their own time. Maybe they'd even begin conversations about moving forward...

A week later, the four of them are introduced to the members of STARISH and are given their assignments. He's given Otoya Ittoki and Tokiya Ichinose.

He didn't care for the drama that centered around the older male of the two, but he was no stranger to all the stories that spun across every media outlet when he was first discovered to be enrolled at Saotome Academy. Tokiya broke away from the agency he spent all of his life with for the chance to sing as himself instead of working under the pseudonym HAYATO. That was the very basic idea he got out of all the articles and what Shining told him, but he found himself just a bit more curious about all of it. It was hard not to be intrigued in his circumstances.

Despite all the rumors he's heard, Tokiya doesn't seem as cold as they implied. Of course he doesn't know what he was like during his academy days, but hearing how formal he speaks as well as how he carries himself, it's not too hard to imagine it either. It's the small moments he begins to witness in their shared space that Reiji finds a soft spot growing for the other.

There are days Reiji hangs back in the room quietly sitting on his bed listening to music as he scans through magazines when Tokiya will come back from a job on his own. He'll watch from his peripheral vision as the other slumps over to his desk and begins preparing himself for the next day. It only takes a week of them living together for him to notice how dedicated to his work the other male is. He's prone to overworking himself, and for whatever reason it doesn't look like anyone in STARISH really notices just how far he goes some days. It makes him wonder.

Usually, he would just sit back and refuse to intervene in the situation, but something makes speak up. Reiji pauses the music playing through his headphones.

"Tokki?"

The aforementioned vocalist hums under his breath to acknowledge his senior, though not glancing up from the schedule in his hands as he works at his desk. Hearing him answer to the nickname he found unfavorable a mere week ago brought a small smile to his lips.

"How's work going?"

The pen in Tokiya's hand freezes momentarily but starts moving again as if the stutter never happened. It's almost amusing.

"It's going well. Why do you ask?"

Reiji grips the magazine in his own hands a bit too tightly but pretends not to notice that he has as he laughs nervously. "I've just noticed that you've been out a lot. Is it STARISH work? I didn't think Shiny would be running you into the ground so quickly." He thought the President's mistake with his group would carry over into how he controlled their newer group. Apparently not.

"It's to help improve and promote STARISH."

Reiji folds the magazine back up and settles it into his lap with a frown directed at the other.

This was another thing he had learned: Tokiya was quite intelligent and manipulating words was a talent of his. His junior was flat-out ignoring his question by using STARISH as a cover.

"Improving STARISH means pushing yourself to exhaustion?"

It's a simple question but it doesn't seem to be one the other thought he'd hear. Reiji watches as Tokiya drops the pen in his hand, turning in his chair to face him fully now.

"I know what I'm doing."

As if he'd believe that. Being in the industry for as long as he had been meant he'd seen and heard every excuse in the book. Of course, he's used them more himself than anyone else around him has.

"Do you?"

Tokiya opens his mouth to speak but no noise leaves him. Instead, he closes his mouth and turns back to continue working on whatever he was before as he falls silent again.

The conversation was small, but within a week Reiji notices that Tokiya is back at the dorms before the sun falls and takes one more day off a week. The tension is gone from his shoulders within two weeks. He smiles with satisfaction to himself, not daring to say anything to the other about it.

This is what their routine becomes, but it's interesting to see how Tokiya responds to him. Otoya bounces around him all the time and is quick to listen to every word he says, but Tokiya seems to digest his words even offering a few adjustments here and there. The debates they sometimes get into are quite entertaining as Reiji seems to always end them with some frivolous, nonsense remark.

He had become too complacent with this sense of comfort and ease his life had finally settled into.

He should've known better than to expect life to continue as peacefully as it was. Like clockwork, he was beginning to relive his worst nightmare all over again. A book he thought was finished now thrown open to empty pages he didn't know existed that were already caked in blood.

At the age of twenty-eight, Reiji finds himself backstage with the rest of Quartet Night discussing their plans on how to bring themselves to new heights for the next deciding concert for the Triple S. Feeling a scratch in his throat, he's quick to grab the water bottle clearly marked for him. What he doesn't expect is the bud that appears after he puts the bottle back down.

Reiji simply stares at it, confused at first. It takes a few moments of curiosity before the panic settles in, reaching with shaky fingers to pick it up and assess if it's real. Before he even gets to do so, Ranmaru is throwing his arms around him. Reiji fumbles with the small bud, tossing it into his pant's pockets as quickly as he can. In a dreamlike state, he pretends to laugh along with whatever they're talking about. He's too dazed to really make sense of it now. Maybe when he digs it out later, he'll see that it doesn't actually exist.

He wishes it would disappear.

Later that night after the celebrations from the two Shining Agency groups die down in the dorms, Reiji finds himself by the lake. During their costume change into normal clothes, he had been quick to move the bud into the pocket of his jeans after seeing that it was in fact real. Pulling it out now, he couldn't help but twirl the bud between his fingers, watching as the moonlight shone across its glossy red surface. He wishes he knew which kind of flower it was, though it wouldn't be too hard to guess the color of the full blooms he'll see eventually.

"Tibouchina urvilleana."

Reiji sighs as he continues twirling it.

"It's a princess flower bud." Ai stops about a yard away from him, clearly unsure of how exactly to approach him.

All of Quartet Night knew of what he went through. He wanted to reach greater heights with them, so he decided to tell them he's had Hanahaki Disease about a year after their sudden reunion. Without spilling any of the more personal details, he merely told him he took the surgery much later than he should've, barely escaping with his life. None of them seemed too surprised, dubbing that if any of them were going to get it that it made sense he did. Reiji didn't know if he should take that as a compliment or not, but he shrugged off their comments. Ai was the only one who wanted to hear more, clearly interested in the disease seeing as he wouldn't have ever known someone who had it. For whatever reason, he obliged.

Apparently Ai went ahead with his research on flowers. With how much knowledge he obtained so quickly, Reiji got to thinking that maybe one day he would open up a flower shop. Even if it was used to promote the Shining Agency, it would prove worth it to put that knowledge to use in such a fashion.

"It seems so." Reiji carefully wrapped his fingers around the bud, pocketing it once more. Maybe he'd do something with it later.

"It's Tokiya, isn't it?"

Hearing the name of his junior with such a correlation attached to it made Reiji flinch. Of course he knew who the bud was for. He wasn't as oblivious this time around, moreso just surprised at himself.

"How do you know it isn't you?" Reiji keeps his voice smooth as he stares at it, wishing more than anything that it did mean that. It would be easier to deal with that way, and it would make more sense. How could he have let himself fall for his own junior? Not only was their age difference quite astonishing, but the junior wanted nothing to do with him either. It almost- no, it did seem ridiculous to harbor such feelings. He really should've known better.

"Mine would be a violet."

Reiji cringes at how certain Ai is. Of course it's obvious to him.

"How lucky am I to get such a thing not only once but twice. I must be really special!" The enthusiasm in his voice is absolutely fake, but he honestly doesn't know how he should handle it this time around yet. The circumstances now made it absolutely impossible.

In fact, he's not really sure how he got it again in the first place. It's not like he's had any sort of special connection with Tokiya, and the two rarely speak in the first place. Sure, they have one song together with Otoya, and there are talks in the works for the three of them to stand side by side in a variety show together. However, that's it as far as he's concerned. It's easy to admit how attractive the other is, and his talent is even harder to deny. It's no wonder Tokiya was able to carry on as he had by himself for such a long period of time. To see him explode in the way he has as a member of STARISH made Reiji proud to call him his junior.

Again though, that was the extent of it. He thought it was pride. He thought it was admiration. Seeing the bud that had come from his lungs was an affirmation as to just how wrong he was. How had he misplaced such a feeling again? How had it slipped past him?

The knowledge he obtained about the disease from his past wouldn't prove to be helpful now. Not like this.

"I don't think I can do anything... but I would like to try. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

Reiji isn't sure if he's asking to take part in this as an experiment of sorts or if he's being genuine. Reiji, again, goes with the last option. It hurts much less.

"Thanks, Ai-Ai. I'm glad to hear someone's cheering me on." Reiji smiles as best he can, knowing full well how pained it must come across as.

If there's one thing he does know, it's that he's going to do this properly. He won't avoid what it is, instead deciding to face it head on. Whatever lies ahead is the path he's chosen to accept one hundred percent.

Reiji lets his fingers curl into fists - one of them careful around the bud in his pocket - as he looks back over the lake, his feelings becoming more assured by each moment that passes them by.

He wouldn't run away again. Not this time.