Meltdown

"Get lost !", screamed one kid, throwing books at her.

"We don't want you around anymore !"

And with that, the group of bullies walked towards the exit, satisfied of their unkind deed. "Ah... it was happening again…"

Rin leaned towards the books and slowly put them back into her bag, sadly. Still trembling, she got up to see if they were still there. Fortunately, it wasn't the case. As always, she walked in the school on tiptoe towards the exit, as if she did not exist. The green walls were still echoing the shouting of her classmates. She felt trapped, mortified, and the stress was growing bigger and bigger, almost internally exploding. Hurrying towards the front door, she suddenly saw the sun welcome her. It was blinding, but pleasant. It was the warm sunshine that was telling her that it was okay, and that she would be alright. A little moment of contentment in this terrific voyage. Still strange, all confused that she was, she ventured to the street.

She knew all she had to do on her way back: taking that detour to not see them, not going to that store to not see them. Before she noticed it, it had become a sad daily routine that she had to implement for her safety and her sanity. Strange thing is, her brother came to join her with one of his friends. Just finishing their sport training, they were all covered in sweat, chatting and smiling. Had her brother been alone, she would've been pleased, but he brought someone that was outside her social bubble, and that made her very anxious. It was obvious for the girl that she was going to mess something up, she just knew it. It was always like that with anyone that wasn't her family, if her family wasn't indeed annoyed by her.

It wasn't until Rin pinched her brother's back that he understood he had to cut his dialogue with his friend.

"I'm sorry..." said Len, visibly annoyed, to the friend.

The friend, who seemed slightly older, leaned towards Rin's face with a warm smile.

"Hi, are you Len's twin sister ?" he said.

Rin was quite surprised to see that someone had taken even a slight interest in her existence. Snapping out of it, she quickly nodded, still hiding behind her brother's back.

"Ah, I knew it… You guys are so alike! Can I ask you your name?"

Taking her courage in both hands, she got out of her brother's back to respond.

"I-Its Rin…" she clumsily answered.

"Rin-san, what a beautiful name. I'm Kaito, nice to meet you."

She felt confident. Confident enough to let the stranger accompany them home. She felt like she had finally made a friend, and it was enough to light up her evening. It wasn't that she did not want a social life, but the social life rejected her. Had she been a little more like the other girls at school, she would've blended in. But it wasn't her style. And she just couldn't change like that. And because of the fact that she was the one who was different, she thought it was her fault. And that toxic thought ran into her head all the time. "It's my fault. It's because of me that the people at school are mad. It's all my fault if I don't fit in. It's-"

"Rin, what happened to your hand ?"

She startled, and then looked at her brother in a strange way. What happened to her hand? She looked at it and realised that not hiding it was a big error. Indeed, one of her classmates completely destroyed her hand by "playing" and it was now swollen. It didn't hurt anymore, but it was ugly to see.

"I fell today," lied Rin.

"Today again? Stop lying to me!" falling out with Rin." It's these jerks again uh?"

Rin seemed visibly uncomfortable. It was simply impossible for her to tell her brother that she was bullied. It would cause problems, and she had already enough of them. The poor soul was scared, too ; scared that he wouldn't be by her side. She understood the kids at school, because as she felt like she was the problem, she felt she was the one to have to be reform. Kaito remarked the girl's distress and his gentle nature took action.

"Would you look at this!"

Kaito had to almost scream to be heard as the mood was tense. He pointed at a big grey cloud of smoke that got at the chimneys of the local nuclear power station. It was safe, but still a bit surprising and imposing. The smoke filled the sky with sadness, and Rin felt the misery of the sun, hiding from everyone. The sorrowed sky made her wonder, "If I tried to dive into this nuclear reactor, then-…" As the twins looked at the smoke, Kaito left a note in Rin's hand. By the time she noticed it, she was in front of her door and Kaito was leaving them. Waving at them, he looked at Rin and pointed at her hand. The latter looked at it and remarked that there was a little crumpled paper in it. Her heart filled with hope, she waved back at Kaito with a smile she did not know she had.

"We're home!"

Rin rushed to her room, ignoring her parents' remarks or questions. She jumped on her bed and buried her face in her pillow, insane, bursting with joy. Someone had given her attention ! Joy and jubilation ! Triumph and exultation ! She didn't even bother the boy! Maybe he had even taken a liking to our heroine. It was too much euphoria for one day. Trying to brush off these, she knew it, naive and teen-like ideas, she decided to be brave and opened the paper, like a treasure. There was a phone number written and a note : "Call me or text me if you have any problems. I know it can be difficult to talk to people about personal problems and I won't force you to tell me anything. I just want you to know that you are not alone and that I will be here for you if you need me." This was too good to be true. Why would someone want to help her? A warm feeling skimmed her heart. She cried tears of joy at the thought that yes, she was not alone. Plunged into her happiness, she did not even hear her mother knocking on her door.

"Are you alright my sun ?" she said.

Her voice was trembling, and it looked like she wasn't hoping for an answer. Rin didn't want to upset her mother. The latter knew the child was used to crying alone in her room, for anybody to notice it. But not this time! Ecstatically joyful, she skipped towards the door, and opened it with force to hug her mother. The parent, shocked, looked at her daughter. Amazed by her gaiety, she patted her head, as it had been long she did not have the occasion to.

"Say, sun", she said with a warm voice. "Are you happy?"

"Mm-mm, I couldn't be more!"

And the girl ran into the dinning room to eat under the proud look of her mother.

After a wonderful meal, Rin regained her room. She thought it would be a good idea to send a message to Kaito, to tell him that she was okay, and thank him for his kindness. Only, there was something weird. Her phone, placed on her desk, was vibrating like crazy. She had a bad feeling about this. Slowly, she reached her desk, took her phone, and took place on her bed. 99+ notifications. What was that? She knew she shouldn't open them, but she was too nervous to just leave and forget them. So she pressed her thumb on the phone, and hell welcomed her. Everywhere, horrifying messages popped on her smartphone. Her device hurled her the things that she was trying to forget. "You're ugly, I hate you. You're stupid. Why do you even exist? Kill yourself.". It was a violent shock, and Rin almost fainted at the sight of these terrible words. She couldn't breathe anymore. Calming down, slowly, sadness regained her. Her eyes lost the spark they just gained. That's right. They were right. Of course they were. Did she even for a moment think otherwise? Then, like a zombie, she went to bed, and tried to sleep. She couldn't even close her eyes. In her ears were the shouting of the terrible words she saw.

It was already midnight. Rin was just there, in her bed, contemplating the ceiling. Why wasn't she able to sleep, like when she was little? At that time, she was happy. She was surrounded by friends and was always having a wonderful time. But kids are naive and innocent when they are young. Eventually, they grow up and playing tag isn't funny anymore. They have to find other distractions, such as hurting people. And Rin was the victim of this terrible game. Had she knew what was going to come, she would have strangled herself when she was smaller. She closed her eyes, and saw herself do it. But surprisingly, she was happy. Crying but happy.

This wasn't a bearable situation anymore. She didn't hate people, but people hated her. The only sin she's committed was to be different. And because of that, people around her were suffering her presence. The tickling sound of the notifications just wouldn't fade, disappear, and sleep, that hadn't been her best ally before, this night, was nonexistent… Turning in her bed, she thought about her usual dark ideas. In her thinking, she looked at the window. A grey smoke was filling the sky, looking like it was the end of the world. That's when she had an idea. An idea that would help everyone and would help her too. She just had to disappear. It was just as simple. "If I tried to dive into this nuclear reactor, then I would be able to sleep just like before..." She had already thought about it, but never felt that depressed and determined. "That's it." She got up slowly and walked towards her drawer to get some clothes. On her way, she passed her mirror and stopped there. Was it really her she just saw? Her eyes had lost all life, and under them were big grey spots. She was visibly very thin, her cheeks had lost their colours. She looked like a dying person, a living dead. Simply, she had become ugly. Ugly and deformed by bullying. "There is no need for clothes, my pyjamas will be enough." she though, looking at the miserable item of clothing that was on her skin. Going out of her house, she looked at her family's bedrooms, slowly, one by one. Walking, she was very loud. It was as if she wanted her family to wake up and stop her. But nobody came. She tried to put her hand on the handle of the front door, but she was trembling too much. Her head was filled with confusion, and dark ideas. However, she was determined to get this over with, so she firmly gripped the handle and opened the door.

It was very cold outside. The freezing and strong wind made Rin twitch. It was so strong it could have blown her away. Still in her thin pajamas, she started walking in the neighbourhood toward where the smoke started. Her foots felt the recently washed by the rain ground. Walking, she was rubbing her hands on her arms to be a little warmer. Her face wasn't visible anymore, distorted by sadness.

There was nobody in the street. Rin could hear the owls, announcing nighttime. She could see some lights behind the windows of her neighborhoods, hear some laughter, some joy. She, however, wouldn't have that, for she was too different, or too her. Billions of thoughts ran into her head, but at the same time, her mind was blank. She was walking like a zombie, her eyes filled with despair and dread, it was as if she wasn't alive. "A morning without me would surely be a much more beautiful world"... She thought, to encourage the hellish sin she was about to do, but at the same time, was terribly scared of. "Yes… and all the cogs finally would work together". " It will surely be a world like that," was what she was murmuring, lifelessly.

At one point, she reached the nuclear station. Her feet were torn by the hard tarmac and the cold, but she couldn't feel it. She entered the nuclear power station. Of course, there were guards, but Rin's presence was so erased that they couldn't even notice her. She passed the long white corridors that would lead to her death. The place looked like a hospital, but we could hear the machines' sounds, tickling in tempo, growling, endlessly playing their sinister melody. On the high ceiling were leds, coldy guiding her through the station. There was an odour of chemicals in the air, and outside, the sky was mourning the late sun. "It's for the best," she thought. Arriving at the nuclear chimney, she started to climb the rusty and dirty ladder, unused since years. The wind made itself stronger, and Rin had trouble staying on the old ladder. Rain started to fall, and that made the climbing even harder. She thought about her warm bedroom at her home, and she remembered the good time she had in her house. "No, I have to do it…" After a good amount of time, she made it to the top, extenuated. She looked at the inside of the reactor, and her face was lit up by its light. She couldn't clearly see, and the smoke was stinging her eyes. She slowly walked around the big hole, not wanting to jump. At one point, she stopped. Why was she doing that? She wanted to live, not to throw herself away. But it was too late to give up now. Although she knew it wouldn't solve the problem, and that it will only pass sorrow to someone else, she was willing to make that egoist action. Approaching the edge, she took a moment to think of her last thought on earth. "Mother, father, brother, everyone who had been willing to give me their love and their time. Please forgive me, for I can't continue to live in this hell, in this horror. Calamity is my everyday hobby, and suffering is my sleep. The few years past on this planet had been tragic, and I cannot continue onwards with this daily despair. As my plight cannot be healed, I have to kill myself. Farewell, precious ones. I'm dying. I loved you." And she let herself fall in. She couldn't hear or see anything anymore. Hurling her last cry of despair, she finally found peace.

Hi ! First of all, thank you for having read my story, I hope you enjoyed it ^^. So as you can see, I turned it into a bullying story, as I thought it blended well with the lyrics of the original song. I must say, I didn't plan to finish that dramatically on the story, and I know the part where Rin does her speech sounds a bit weird...but i liked it so it stayed ^^'. Also, I would like to apologise if my writing looked weird, as I am still perfecting my english. Be that as it may, I just hope you had a good time reading. Stay safe :).