You walk on the road paved, not knowing its definite end.
You make a wish, not knowing what it will cost.
It has happened before, and it will happen again.
And again and again.
Arc 1: Wish
It was hot. Hot and sticky. The sound of metal clashing could be barely heard here. She laid on the bed, bleeding. "Help... help me..." She whimpered, the woman beside her busily wiping her sweaty face.
He's so close, she thought, he must be coming, defeating them all. He must be...
"Lya!" He was finally here, after she called and called. But it was too late.
She couldn't continue.
He had lost all words, seeing her true state. She knew how awful she looked. She knew that...
She was going to die.
"Promise me," she said, "Promise me..."
With her last breath, she wished with all her might—
—
She woke up, sweat on her forehead, her cheeks wet.
Unconsciously, she wiped her cheeks. The liquid on her fingers was cold and transparent.
She couldn't remember what she had dreamed of. It just felt... sad, even when there wasn't anything special that would make her feel so.
She gave up on her attempt in recalling the dream quickly. It was for the best. She cleaned her face, changed her clothes, and walked out.
"Lya, good morning... did you not sleep at all? Your eyes are all red." Benjen Stark asked his sister when he saw her, his face a picture of surprise.
Lyanna rolled her eyes. "Just a bad dream."
"Mm-hm, did the brave little Lyanna admit that she has been scared awake by a nightmare?" Brandon Stark, heir to Winterfell, popped up and asked mockingly.
She glared at him, "Call me little again, and I'll end your life chasing after maidens."
"Ooh, scary!" He hid behind Benjen and shrieked, "Benjen, save me from the terrifying little monster!"
"Will you please stop using me as a meat shield?" Benjen sighed.
"What are you all doing over there?" Rickard Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North asked over the table, "Stop messing around and hurry up, we need to reach Harrenhal within the day to attend the tourney on time."
Quickly, the three siblings abandoned their little argument and sat down around the table. By the time the first dish arrived, Lyanna had long forgotten that she had had a weird dream.
"Lya," Rickard called halfway through the meal, "Are you ready? You will meet Robert today."
"And Ned," Lyanna added. She was annoyed by her father mentioning her betrothed before his own long-gone son.
She couldn't fathom the reason why Robert Baratheon asked for her hand even though he had never met her in person. Eddard had told her in his letters that Robert fell in love with her from Eddard's description. However, the letters also mentioned that Robert Baratheon was a womanizer and that he had already fathered a bastard in the Vale. Just like Brandon, who was bedding a different girl every few weeks. In Lyanna's heart she pitied Catelyn Tully, who had no idea what she was getting into.
Lyanna didn't want to end up like Catelyn, but her father wouldn't listen to her and he believed it'd be a good match. To say that she was disappointed with Rickard would be a gross understatement.
"Lya, are you listening?" Rickard snapped, calling her out from her thoughts.
"Sure, Father." Rickard had been a bit cranky since this journey started. Lyanna had no intention of stroking his anger at this moment.
"You'll be on your best behavior, especially in front of him. And Brandon, you too." He glared at Brandon, "I'll throw you out if someone brings me their daughter with her belly large."
"Hey, I won't be that careless to leave... fine, fine." Brandon surrendered quickly, "I won't do anything more than dancing."
"See that you do. Ben, look after them when I'm not around, especially Lya."
Benjen groaned but nodded obediently, and Lyanna immediately protested, "That's not fair, father. Bran clearly needs more supervising than me!"
Brandon grinned slyly, "I welcome you to my adventure, dear Ben."
"Thanks but no," Benjen replied the same time Rickard said, "Benjen won't be able to rein you in. My eyes will be on you, Bran. Remember that."
—
Harrenhal. Lyanna had been looking forward to this. This monstrous wreck of a fortress stretched before the Starks, almost as if it's a dark creature in the tales waiting for them to stumble into its open mouth. Little did they know...
Once Lyanna was here, she recalled Old Nan's stories, which suddenly seemed a lot more realistic. A massive grave for the Hoares, who cursed every family that ever owned this place to its death.
Of course, they weren't going to actually spend any time in the castle. The ground nearby had been cleaned up and a grandstand built, numerous tents surrounded Harrenhal like little white ants. Soon, they'd add our numbers to it.
How exciting, Lyanna thought. She grinned from ear to ear as they approached the gates.
"Stop that weird smile, Lya," Benjen groaned and warned, "It's creepy, and father will be angry again if you continue this."
"...Fine." Lyanna glanced at Rickard and saw that he's indeed frowning. Luckily for her, some lord came to greet him and took his attention away from her.
With this chance, she thought, I bet that we can sneak away and do something fun...
However, before she could tell Benjen her decision, there's a commotion. She heard the sound of trumpets coming from the other side of the field.
Even at this distance, she could see the bright red three-headed dragons on the banners. On the head of the line, a young man with long, flowing silver hair rode forwards. Rhaegar Targaryen. Across the field, their eyes met for a moment. Deep, striking purple eyes stared into Lyanna's grey ones.
"..." He widened his eyes, and his lips moved.
What is it? What are you trying to say? Lyanna tried hard to read his lips, but she couldn't get what he was saying. She started to tear up, though she didn't know why.
The moment passed soon, and Rhaegar averted his gaze from her. Brandon commented that Rhaegar looked girly, which earned a glare from his father.
That's confusing, Lyaana thought. Was I just seeing things? He shouldn't have anything to say to me. We hadn't met each other before.
...Right?
"Lya?" Benjen glanced into her face carefully, "You seem out of it."
"What? I'm fine. Anyway, we should leave now!" She whispered and pulled Benjen's arm.
However, a hand caught her wrist firmly. "You're not going anywhere, young lady," Rickard said dryly, "We should go and greet Lord Arryn. See his flag?"
From the roads they had traveled earlier, Lyanna saw that falcon banner she had learned. She knew that Eddard and Robert must be in there somewhere.
Brandon whistled, "Okay, let's go find Neddy."
"That's not your brother's name." Rickard kept a straight face while the Stark siblings giggled.
—
"Lord Stark." It's Jon Arryn who spotted the Stark first. "It has been a while. Though it's Eddard who you're eager to see, yes?"
Behind him, Eddard awkwardly walked toward his siblings, his friends behind laughing and pushing his back.
Lyanna hasn't seen Eddard in years. The last time he returned to Winterfell, she was ten, and now she was fourteen already. Eddard was always more quiet and proper than the rest of us combined, but she didn't know if he had changed much in the last four years.
Sometimes Lyanna wished Eddard could switch with Brandon, who came back every year and always spent his time mocking her, charming girls, and generally being a waste of space.
"Father, Bran, Lya, Ben. I have missed you," Eddard said nervously, his face frozen in a frown.
"Eddard, welcome back to the pack." Rickard nodded approvingly, but Brandon quickly stepped forward and put an arm across Eddard's shoulders.
"What's with this sour face, brother? I'm the one who's living in snow for my whole life! Cheer up, big brother Brandon will introduce you to a lot of girls..."
"I've been trying to get him to loosen up for years, to no use. If you can do it I'll be very surprised." A large man with black hair and blue eyes said in a friendly manner. Robert Baratheon.
"You seem like a man with taste, but I'm his brother. Surely I—"
"Bran!" Rickard called sternly. "Be silent and come back here!"
"I'm no child, Father." Despite protesting, Brandon still released Eddard and stepped back. Lyanna saw Eddard breathing a sigh of relief.
Rickard quickly glared at Brandon then turned to Arryn with an apologetic smile. "Brandon has been fostering in Barrowton until recently, and he has been rather spoiled..."
"I understand your pain, Lord Stark." Arryn smiled wryly, "The younglings are often hot-blooded and hot-headed."
"More precisely, one of us here fit this description." A blonde glanced at Robert with his brow raised.
"Oh shut it, Elbert." Robert shouted back, and Arryn's smile grew rather strained.
Lyanna chuckled, "Ignore Bran, Ned. Welcome back."
Robert turned as he heard Lyanna's voice. Suddenly his eyes brightened up, and before Lyaana knew it, her hands were held in his two large ones. His deep blue eyes stared into hers, entirely too close for her comfort.
"You must be Lya. I'm Robert Baratheon," He said with barely contained excitement. "You're more beautiful than what I've imagined, my lady. My life will be perfect once we can spend every second of it together..."
"Take your hands off me," Lyanna demanded.
Robert blinked, surprised by her harsh rejection. "...Alright." He let go of her and stepped back, his excited grin now lessened. Uncertainly, he glanced at her face, which she responded with turning her head away from him.
"...Lord Robert." Rickard's heavy, monotonic voice indicated his burning desire to smack both Robert and Lyanna in their heads. "My daughter and you are merely betrothed."
"Ahha, you're right. Lya, Lord Rickard, my apologies," Robert smoothly said.
Brandon— who had been laughing the whole time— extended a hand to him and said, "Apologies accepted...but if I see you touching my sister's hand again, I'll break every bone in your fingers." He finished with a creepy smile.
Robert laughed, "I'll be deserving it."
Lyanna glared at him and thought, I will make you regret it with more than a few broken fingers if you break your promise.
Benjen whispered into Lyanna's ears, "He must be Bran's lost twin." He grinned evilly, "Congratulations, Lya. I wish you to have a happily married life."
Lyanna rolled her eyes. "I'm not marrying him for a long while. And hopefully never."
—
The Starks left the Arryns and spent their time catching up with Eddard. Rickard wanted to find a Vale match for him, so he kept asking Eddard about the girls he had met.
Robert stuck around to provide extra juicy details about those girls before his brother found him. "Stannis?" Robert's voice was full of surprise, "I don't know you're attending this tourney too!"
Stannis Baratheon was the opposite of Robert, while Robert spoke every word with joy and delight, he spoke with a frown on his face and his jaw clenched. "I'm here to find you. When are you coming home?"
A flash of annoyance and avoidance briefly appeared on Robert's face, "This is a tourney. If you aren't going to enjoy it, go home yourself."
"I'm not leaving without you. You haven't come back since father and mother were... gone. Renly won't remember you as this rate—"
"For Gods' sake, Stannis! I'll travel to Storm's End later, you don't have to come all this way just to tell me this!"
"That's not all. I have brought the papers here. You need to come with me."
"Robert," Lyanna frowned, "You should go. He traveled all this way to find you." She pitied Stannis, but more importantly she didn't want to spend any more time with Robert.
Robert narrowed his eyes before squeezing out a smile. "You too, Lya? Very well then, just this once, Stannis."
Stannis briefly nodded to us before pulling Robert away to their family business.
Nothing of value was lost, Lyanna thought.
—
Very soon it's the opening ceremony of the tourney. The Starks gathered at the stands, and King Aerys eyed everyone with suspicion as he spoke.
Lyanna wasn't interested in listening. She winked towards Benjen and whispered, "Time to go!"
Benjen made a face but still nodded. Lyanna glanced at Rickard, who's frowning deeply as he listened to the king's speech. They should be able to sneak away... if Eddard didn't decide to interrupt. "Ben? Lya? Where are you two going?"
Rickard immediately turned to Lyanna and barked, "You're not bringing your brother on mischief again, Lyanna Stark!"
"I'm not!" she shouted back, stepping backward and preparing to run. Benjen shook his head and sighed, "Father, Lya is just feeling restless and wanting to go for a stroll."
"Then why are you going with her?" Rickard wasn't convinced in the slightest. He narrowed his eyes as he glanced at Lyanna, "Don't think for a second that I don't understand what's going on in that little skull of yours. Nothing good can come out from you trying to sneak away."
"What do you think of me, Father? A petty thief, a thug?" Being talked down made Lyanna's blood boil, but on Benjen's wordless urge she added, "I'm just going to have a walk."
Rickard's eye gleamed dangerously as he hissed out an order, "Then go."
"I'm going no matter what you— huh what?"
"You won't listen to me no matter what I say, stubborn brat," He all but snarled, "Go if you must. I don't care anymore."
Lyanna was too exhausted— and afraid— with Rickard to say anything. She stood there, not moving.
The mood was tense when Eddard interjected, "Lya, where are you going? I can accompany you."
Hearing his voice made Lyanna remember it's Eddard who caused Rickard to notice. She glared at him and said, "I'm not a child. As father kindly pointed out, I can take care of myself."
"But..."
"Let her go, Ned." Brandon whispered, "She doesn't like it when an adult tries to look after her."
Lyanna wanted to talk back to Brandon, but Benjen was staring at her, urging her to leave. I need to take this chance before Father explodes, she thought, and despite not entirely wanting to, she ran away.
—
Lyanna took the necessary equipment from Benjen's luggage before heading towards the woods to find an empty ground.
The afternoon was always her training time. After Benjen's lesson, they would hide in the godswood so that Benjen could teach her the new tricks he had learned. They had maintained this routine for more than a full year now... Lyanna wasn't going to quit just because Benjen couldn't be here.
Lyanna despised lying to Rickard, but she couldn't let him know. He would be so disappointed, so angry, so sad. And making him sad was worse than everything to Lyanna. She could deal with his anger, but she couldn't deal with... that.
"...Ugh!" Thinking about Rickard made Lyanna want to hit something. She directed her anger to her sword. "One! Two! Three... Fifty... Seventy... Seventy-one..."
Ghost-fighting is tiring, she thought, and unrewarding.
"Hundred..." She panted. Why did Ned have to warn Father, and had him take Ben away from me? She thought angrily. "Hm?"
Some noises came from the outskirts of the forest. Lyanna hid behind a tree, just seconds later, four boys her age rushed onto the clearing she had been on. Three of them were chasing the last one, who's shorter than them all. They managed to corner him and kicked away the stick he's holding, then proceeded to beat him.
It happened in mere seconds. The stick rolled towards where Lyanna was hiding, and once she saw that it was a spear, she knew.
That was no boy but a grown man. A crannogman.
No, he's—
Even if it would be better for her to not—
Suddenly, it all came back to Lyanna's mind. Everything that she went through. She believed that she knew what she had to do.
She stayed behind the tree, and the three boys kept kicking and beating him. Blood spilled from his head, and she thought that he would die. For good.
Then the three boys fell.
"Huh?" Lyanna blurted out, too surprised to hold her breath. The bullies laid on the ground, unmoving. He turned towards her, blood still dripping from his head.
It was a lot cooler now. Lyanna found herself shivering. His cold, freezing eyes locked into hers. "Lyanna, do you really think I would have died?"
"I..." she stuttered, the cold taking away her ability to speak.
"You sure are stubborn. But this won't do." He picked up his spear, and smiled. "This can't go on, and you know it."
Lyanna could feel her blood starting to freeze as she tried her best to remain calm. You can't do this, she thought desperately, this is the opposite of what you want...
"You aren't wrong," He took a step closer, "But you're missing an important piece of the puzzle here. And that's why... I can do what I want to do, and put you back to the start."
Lyanna stepped back with what little strength she had left and tried to fend him off with her sword, but he dodged it easily and stabbed her through her chest with his spear.
"I won't allow you to try to escape, Lyanna Stark. You chose to do this." His cold voice echoed in her brain as blood quickly drained from her body.
In intolerable pain, she thought, this is wrong. This can't be possible—
But she was wrong.
A/N: This fic is the novelise version of my game Lyanna in Harrenhal. Find it in my profile!