A Little 'ole' Makeover for Velma!

Storyline by JBlaser

Written by Matthew Hawkins

(The scene is a pleasant evening outside a huge and very old-fashioned mansion with huge gardens, fountains, etc. It is the Pitstop mansion. At the huge iron gates which have the initials "PP" at the top, a lone figure approaches. It is Velma Dinkley wearing her typical outfit and holding a small card in one hand which she looks at. Close up of card which reads Penelope's address.)

Velma: " Yup. This looks like the place."

(Velma goes in and slowly walks up the long front garden path. It's a girls paradise with heart shaped shrubs either side and in the centre in a heart shaped base a fountain in Sylvester Sneekly's likeness with water coming out of the mouth. Velma knocks on the door, no answer. She tries the handle and finds the door is unlocked. She goes in and quietly shuts the door behind her. She slowly walks round the house rather in awe of the whole place. She goes upstairs. On the walls are various pictures of Penelope throughout her life and career including her first Wacky Race victory (Creepy Trip to Lemon Twist) and her at the North Pole with the Ant Hill Mob (North Pole Peril and cutting the trolley ribbon in Kansas City. (The Terrible Trolley Trap) In the centre on the wall is a huge painting of Penelope and Sylvester Sneekly which Velma stands still to look at.)

Velma: (whispers.) "Wow." (She goes in search of a feather duster to start working, she finds one, heart shaped of course and proceeds to dust. A large cloud gathers and she sneezes. So hard that she propels herself backwards and on to a small swivel chair that just so happens to be in the middle of the hall. She squeaks along the hall and into Penelope's bedroom. She comes to an abrupt stop at Penelope's dresser which again is heart shaped. From behind her large heart shaped bed two figures pop their heads up. It's Daphne Blake and Penelope herself. Daphne is in her traditional outfit as is Penelope without her crash helmet.)

Daphne and Penelope: "SURPRISE!"

(Velma is rather taken aback. She adjusts her glasses in disbelief.) "Daphne, Penelope! What are you guys doing here?

(Daphne and Penelope walk over to the perplexed Velma, broad smiles on the pair of them.)

Penelope: "We just wanted to surprise little ole you".

Velma: "I thought you were meant to be on vacation".

Penelope: "I was suga, but I had to postpone that to help the little ole Ant Hill Mob. They were put in jail. I've offered to pay for their fee. I'm sure they are innocent."

Daphne: "That's really nice of you".

Penelope: "Dear Daddy would have wanted it that way."

Velma: "I'm confused".

Daphne: "We brought you over here to give you a makeover."

Velma: (Horrified) "Make-over!? Me!?"

Daphne: "Yeah!"

Velma: "And you asked Penelope?"

Daphne: "Sure. I used to watch Penelope on Wacky Races on T.V all the time. (turns to Penelope.) "I'm your biggest fan." (holds out a black and white profile shot of Penelope.) "Can I have your autograph?"

Penelope: (flattered at Daphne's request.) "Sure "nough." (Signs the picture with a pink pen with a big heart and kisses and hands it back to Daphne.) "There you go hon-ey."

Daphne: (fan-girl hugs the photo and squeals.) "Oooooh, thank you so much!"

Penelope: "You're welcome hon-ey. Now about Velma's makeover..."

Velma: (winces.) "Errrr... couldn't we do this some other time?"

Penelope: "There's no time like the little ole present, sugah."

Daphne: "It won't take long. Besides that jumper and skirt is so last year."

Velma: (looks round) "But I don't see any make up anywhere in your room."

Penelope: "Oh I don't need any make-up in my house. I've something special for that."

Daphne: (eyes open wide) "You mean?"

Penelope: "Yea-sss!"

(screen wipe to the three ladies outside Penelope's garage which not surprisingly has a heart shaped door.)

Penelope: (presses a button on a remote control. The door opens upwards to reveal Penelope's car. The legendary Compact Pussycat.) "There she is."

(Velma is not particularly impressed but Daphne is totally geeking out running around admiring it.)

Daphne: "Wow! The Compact Pussycat. I always wanted to drive it. Can we take her for a spin?"

Penelope: "Sure, hon-ey but first we need to help your little old friend here-ah."

Velma: (smiles nervously and waves) "I'm good thanks, I'll just see myself out. (turns to go) "See ya later."

(Velma is grabbed by Daphne and plonked into the driver seat.)

Velma: "Ooofff!"

Daphne: (eyes all the functions on the dashboard excitedly.) "So... many... functions! How did you get it to do all this?"

Penelope: "I had a little help from a little old friend of mine. He's a profess-ah.

Daphne: (looks confused.) "Professor? Didn't he always try to sabotage the race?"

Penelope: (frowns with contempt at the memory of the notorious Dick Dastardly.) "Hmmm! He was no gentlema-an!" No, the profess-ah was a dear. Now first we need to..." (pull down lever to Bubble Bath.)

Velma: Oh no!

(Up comes a shower curtain and washes Velma. Shrieks and squeals come from inside as Velma is given a very thorough wash. The shower curtain comes down a cold and wet Velma with a tower round her shivering.)

Daphne: "Wow, I need to have a car like this. It would save so many hours getting washed and dressed every day."

Velma: (talking while her teeth chatter.) "Speaking of dressed, clothes p-p-p-p-please."

Penelope: (pulls down lever to Make Up.)

(Out come two claws, one with a pencil and one with lippy, the pencil draws eyebrows on Velma while the lipstick gets to work round Velma's mouth amid protests. A third claw adds some blusher, whilst a forth adds blue eye-shadow and mascara.)

Velma: (looking cross.) "Ahem! I said clothes!"

Daphne: "Oh please, may I?"

Penelope: "Be my little ole guest, sugah."

Daphne: (pulls lever to Wardrobe.)

(Up comes the shower curtain again to give Velma modesty, inside though various hands throw Velma into various clothes before it finally settles on an orange coat with six button including a large red belt and a longer red skirt. She however still has her usual hairstyle and is quite giddy.)

Penelope: "And now for the finishing touch." (pulls the lever to Hair. Down come a hair dryer-type device. As it goes up and down the following looks are seen:)

Wilma Flintstone's red hairstyle.

Daphne and Penelope: "No."

Yogi Bear's hat and tie.

Daphne and Penelope: "No."

Jane Jetson's hairstyle.

Daphne and Penelope: "Nope."

Hair Bear's afro and neck-tie.

Daphne and Penelope: "One more time."

(Velma now has a beehive hairstyle.)

Daphne and Penelope: "Perfect!"

(Velma now thoroughly dizzy staggers out of the car holding her head.) "Ooooh I don't feel so good."

Daphne: "Nonsense." (holds up big mirror.) "You look gorgeous."

Velma: (Comes to and looks at her reflection and screams in terror.)

Daphne: (misinterprets this as delight.) "I knew you'd like it."

Velma: (horrified.) "Like it!? Change me back, change me back, ( falls on her knees, begging) Pleeeeeeease!"

Penelope: "Now, now sugah, we're not done yet.

Velma: (stands up.) "Not done yet?"

Penelope: "We gotta get you acting more little ole ladylike."

Velma: "Ladylike?"

Penelope: "Come on now, back to the bedroom"

(screen-wipe to the three back in the bedroom.)

Penelope: "The first step is how to talk..."

Velma: "That will not be necessary." (reveals large collection of how talk in different languages books)

Penelope "Not quite. I mean... (puts her at a table with a dummy that looks rather like Fred.) how to talk on a date."

Velma: (alarmed, looks at Daphne and Penelope) "A date?" (raises one eyebrow.) "You're not serious?"

Penelope: (coaxing.) "Give it a little ole try, hon-ey.

Velma: (turns around to the dummy with it's blank expression. Fidgets and rubs back of her neck.) "Errrr... hey Fred... ummm... How... er.. are you today?

(shot of dummy which doesn't respond.)

Velma: "Did... errrr..." (pauses, then snaps her fingers as an idea comes to her) "Did you see that football game last night"?

Daphne: (face palms)

Velma: What?

Penelope: (lifts her up and walks out of shot.) "Your chat-up lines need a little ole work.

(Screen wipe. They are now in a hallway of sorts.)

Penelope: "Now we'll try to get you to walk proper."

Velma: "There's nothing wrong with my walk. (does her trademark walk.)

(Daphne and Penelope look uneasy.)

Velma: (self consciously.) "Is there?"

Penelope: (hands her a pair of her white go-go boots.) "Give these a try, suga."

Daphne: (gasps excitedly) "Can I try them on?"

Penelope: (hands out another pair) "Here's another pair hon-ey."

Daphne: "Thanks. Do you have them in purple?"

Velma: (struggles to get into Penelope's boots as they are rather tight and stands rather wobbily in them.)

Penelope: "Now try to walk."

(Velma tentatively walks one step at a time, Daphne and Penelope are at the other end of the room and Velma is walking towards them. As she gets more confident she smiles.)

Penelope: "You're getting it hon-ey."

(Unfortunately Velma's heel gets caught in a hole in the floorboard and goes flat on her front. Daphne and Penelope run to her aid.)

Daphne: "Wow! That was quite a trip."

Penelope: (more sympathetically) "Are you OK hon-ey?"

Velma: (shakes of the two girls and gets to her feet and has had enough) "No! I'm not! (rips the boots off and puts her own ones back on.) I have had enough of you two trying to change me. I am outta here. Good-bye! (storms off angrily, downstairs and out the door which she slams behind her.)

(Daphne and Penelope are shocked and silent for a while.)

Penelope: "What's wrong with her? Doesn't she want to be a little ole bit more up-to-date?

Daphne: "That's a mystery we'll never solve."

Penelope: (surprised) "Mystery? You solve mysteries?"

Daphne: "Yes we do. Why"?

Penelope: "Well I have a little ole mystery I'd like you to solve. It concerns the disappearance of my trusted and devoted guardian, Sylvester Sneekly."

Daphne: "What happened?"

Penelope: "Well I was in little ole London Town delivering a painting to the Earl of Crumpit when..."

Daphne Blake, Velma Dinkley and Sylvester Sneekly are copyright of Hanna-Barbera Productions and Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc. Penelope Pitstop and the Compact Pussycat are copyright of Hanna-Barbera Productions, Heather Quiggly Productions and Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc. This is a work of fan-fiction. Copyright infringement has not been intended.