A/N tumblr prompt of my choice this time! Check out my tumblr if you want to give me a prompt.

Warning: Male/Male. Male Jedi Exile/Kavar.

Prompt: " you aren't a monster. "

Lambert's POV

Awaiting his trial with the Council was nerve wracking. He could feel the Force in the briefest of snippets. It wasnt much but it was more than he could feel since Malachor V.

A shudder ran through him. Malachor V was a mistake. Going to war with Revan and Alek against the Mandalorians. He was a monster for what he had done during the war. The use of the Mass Shadow Generator was a mistake. So many lives had been lost on the planet. Jedi, solider, Mandalorian all who had been on the surface and ships too close to the planet had been effected.

Lukas felt from his own ship all the lives who had perished. So many he had served beside and become close to died. The Force screamed at him as it happened. He didnt have any memories of what happened next.

According to his second in command XIII Hunter a fellow Jedi Padawan, he had screamed. The entire bridge of his ship shook and was distorted by his pain. Medics had to sedate him for the good of the ship and its crew.

Lukas was forced to cut himself off from the Force. If he hadn't then he would have died from the pain the Force was creating. Even now he couldnt open himself up the way he used to. The Force was still screaming at him. It was simply not as loud.

Running a hand through his shaggy dirty blond hair he moved to look out the window. His apartment was in the Temple, at the insistence of the Council. They had briefly agreed to see him and assess his position.

As much as he wanted to he couldn't look any of them in the eyes. The weight of what he had done was still weighing on him. A few times he felt the presence of the Masters reaching out to him. It was only when Kavar reached out did he sluggishly respond. The Council members sucked in sharp breaths of surprise but he didnt look up at them.

They didnt say anything to him beyond a dismissal and an order to stay within the Temple. Lukas didnt respond verbally instead choosing to give a sharp nod. Then he allowed himself to be led to a watched apartment. At the door of the apartment he relinquished his lightsaber over the the sentinels.

Now that he was staring out over the city planer he realized how much he had given up. Before he had left with Revan he had become close to Kavar. After the murder of his original master, Kavar was the only one he would ever consider being a padawan to.

Being a padawan to anyone now was impossible. Everything that had happened broke him. He looked away unable to face the city. He knew what the Council's decision would be. Exile. That was the only sentence for someone like him.

A knock sounded at the door. It was probably his dinner. There was no way they would allow him into the cafeteria. Moving to the door he opened it surprised to find Kavar standing there.

Lukas's jaw drops almost touching the floor in his surprise. The Force still loud in his ears sang with surprise.

Kavar smiled in his tired and gentle way that was familiar. He questioned, "Can I come in, Lukas?"

How? How could the man still stand to talk to him like an old friend? To give him that gentle smile that had calmed him so often when he was younger. Lukas was a monster.

A pained look crossed the man's face as he said, "You are not a monster, Lukas."

Lukas shook his head as he responded resolutely, "You're wrong. You dont understand what I've done. I am a monster."

Still he stepped aside to allow Kavar inside. Not that he could have stopped the master if he really wanted to come in. Kavar entered with a look around the room. It was more bare than that of the rooms for initiates and Knights that stay in the Temple.

Lukas questioned as he moved towards the one straight backed chair was, "What can I do for you, Master Kavar? Have the Council already made a decision?"

Kavar sighed looking every bit of his age, "We have. We thought we had made our decision when we learned that you would be returning to face us. That changed when you reached out to my presence."

"Because I still have access to the Force?"

Kavar nodded. Lukas looked away. What could their decision be now? He feared what it could be.

The Master sighed, "The Council were going to give you Exile. Out beyond the Rim where you could heal but not be a threat to anyone else. However this changed when you came back with a presence in the Force. Instead you will be set with a Master who can watch over you."

"You?"

"Me," smiled the man easily.

That he could deal with. If anyone could control the monster it was Kavar.