Authors Note
Readers, I present to you nice little Ed, Edd n'Eddy story; a welcome change of pace from these long drawn out epics I have been known for. I had a blast writing this one, and I hope you enjoy reading.
This will not be the intricate drama/mystery/mind screw that UB is turning out to be, rather it will be a somewhat lighthearted adventure story, and will not be terribly long or complicated. It will reflect the original spirit of Ed, Edd and Eddy, and will also pay homage to one of my favorite animators in more ways than one.
This will be told in a series of short vignettes, meant to play out as if they were actual episodes of the show. Fun-filled adventures, that are intended to keep the spirit of the show alive...and hopefully keep you entertained.
NOTE: To understand the events leading up to this situation, I recommend new readers read the first few chapters of my other story, Unfinished Business. The events leading up to the Kankers departure ultimately sets this in motion. This is meant to be the "parallel" to UB and takes place during the course of the same two weeks.
Here We Go
Task 1: The Three Ed Boys Grunt
Chapter 1
A few hours had passed since the Kanker family had disembarked on their journey across the country. Now without their significant others, Ed, Edd, And Eddy, as well as their friends Kevin and Rolf were left with their own devices. After seeing their girlfriends off, the somewhat lazy Eddy had returned to bed, intent on sleeping until noon as he usually did at the beginning of summer. His oafish pal Ed had elected to do the same; however, his plans were quickly derailed as he was forced to "entertain" another of Sarah and Jimmy's Royal tea party games.
In contrast, Double Dee had spent all morning brainstorming. The young man had taken it upon himself to develop a plan to fulfill the summer service project required of them to avoid marks on their school permanent record. After developing a timeline, an itemized list of expenses, and numerous other safety checklists, Double Dee rounded up his less than enthusiastic friends with intent to get a head start on their project.
Currently, the five Peach Creek boys had found themselves in the bowels of Peach Creeks parent city, where they would began preliminary execution of "phase 1" of Double Dee's plan; volunteering as cooks at a homeless shelter. After combining all of their change, the boys were able to take the train into the city, with the intent of signing paperwork and procuring meats and vegetables for the next day. After ensuring all was in order for the next day, the boys decided to return home, but not before making a stop in a corner store to acquire their favorite sweet treat; jawbreakers.
After purchasing their beloved, sugary morsels, the boys hurried back to a relatively quiet intersection, where they would be able to catch the bus that would shuttle them to the regional rail station. The boys had found themselves seated on a long metal bench, located adjacent to an eight foot tall pole. Near the top of this pole, a white sign had been mounted, consisting of a dual tones red/blue colored background, the colors being separated by a graphic of two oppositely pointed arrows; next to this graphic, the words ATPES Route 13 'Regional Rail Station' was spelled out, providing riders with information regarding the particular bus route.
Within the vicinity of the stop stop were two mom and pop shops, their side walls acting as the boundaries to the "short side" of the rectangle. The long side of the rectangular shape was enclosed by a chain link fence, with a single gate acting as access/egress into the area. Both side walls were covered in several layers of graffiti, depicting "tags" of various individuals, as well as some sophisticated art. The surface of the lot was painted in the style of a basketball court; in addition, two wooden structures were erected at both ends, supporting backboards and a pair of basketball hoops. Chains had been fitted to these loops in lieu of standard netting, as was common in most street court applications.
Eddy, Kevin, and Double Dee had taken a seat on said bench; Kevin and Eddy exchanging jokes as Double Dee sat staring forward with his hands folded. Ed and Rolf had scaled the eight foot tall chain link fence, taking their seats on the metal bar gracing the top as they enjoyed their jawbreakers.
As the boys finished up their jawbreakers, Kevin was the first to break the silence.
"Man, this is bogus," said Kevin, "I thought we'd be a little closer to the action. I was expecting more of the big city, and lots of hot babes to watch. Whatever, maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow."
"Contrary to popular belief, Kevin, only a fraction of our parent city is a bustling metropolis," said Double Dee, "Furthermore, let's not forget why we are here in the first place, to help others and fulfill our promise to Principal Blomgren."
Double Dee adopted a sarcastic tone of voice.
"Besides," said Double Dee, "I'm sure Nazz would really appreciate your comment regarding your search for 'hot babes'"
"Man, you are such a buzzkill Double Dork," said Kevin as he turned towards Eddy, "Ain't nothin wrong with a little bit of playin' the field while we're free, right Eddy?"
Kevin playfully punched Eddy in the arm, laughing as he did so. Eddy simply ignored Kevin's lecherous statement, opting to respond by changing the subject.
"This stinks," said Eddy, "I mean, what's the point of being on vacation if we gotta work for it!"
"Pardon my bluntness Eddy," said Double Dee, "But you are the one whose brilliant idea to interrupt the principals end of year speech put us in this predicament. To think that..."
"Quiet Ed boy," yelled Rolf as he suddenly jumped to Double Dee's side, placing his hand over his mouth while scanning his surrounds, "Do Rolf's ears fool the brain of Rolf, or does he detect the faint sound of sorrows, as those emitted by Victor when trapped in Papas electrical fence."
"Calm down Rolfie boy," said Eddy in a casual manner, "There ain't no animals around for miles, your probably just hearing things."
As Rolf released his grip on Double Dee, the intelligent boy conducted an auditory scan of his own. After training his ears in several directions, he too managed to pick up the sound of faint human sobs.
"Now that you mention it," said Double Dee, "I too hear cries in the distance. It sounds as if someone is in distress."
Within seconds, Double Dee sprung into action, adopting his typical running stance as he jogged towards the gate leading out to the sidewalk. The remaining boys momentarily shared confused expressions, after which they too mobilized, following their compulsive friend out the gate and onto the street.
The boys made their way down the street at a brisk pace, with Double Dee carefully leading them towards the source of the disheartening sound. The sound grew ever louder as they neared the end of the street, reaching it's peak as the group came upon a small alleyway, nestled between two houses near the end of the street.
As Double Dee peered into the alley, he came upon the source of the sobbing. Sitting against one of the concrete walls was a little girl, who appeared to be no more than seven years old. She had tucked her legs to her chest (assuming a proverbial fetal position), and was clutching a small teddy bear in her right hand. She sobbed uncontrollably as profuse tears streaming from her eyes. Physically, the girl had a head of jet black curly hair, brown eyes and tan skin; she seemed to be of Latin American descent. Her clothes consisted of a green tank top, blue jean shorts, and a pair of white sandals.
Double Dee gazed upon the girl with an expression of concern as the remaining boys arrived, each staring into the alley in a similar manner from behind.
"Well Rolfie Boy," said Eddy, "I gotta hand it to ya, your ears are as sharp as a tack. There was someone crying."
"So," asked Ed, "What do we do now?"
"What else can we do?," said Double Dee, "As a fellow human being, I feel it's our duty to assist this poor child. Please give me a few moments to determine the source of the problem."
At the conclusion of his statement, Double Dee slowly approached the small girl, kneeling down beside her as he began to speaking.
"Greetings little one," said Double Dee, "I am from out of town. My name is Edward, but you can call me Double Dee for short. What may your name be?"
The small girl lifted her head, gazing into Double Dees eyes with a troubled expression as she sniffled.
"Amanda..." said the girl, "Amanda Munoz"
"Pleasant to meet you Amanda," said Double Dee, "I can't help but noticed that you seem quite upset, and I wish to assist in remedying this situation in anyway possible. What is troubling you this afternoon?
"We are all losing our homes," said Amanda in between sobs, "Everyone on my block has to move. A couple weeks ago, rats suddenly started coming up from the sewers and coming inside. They ate all of our food, and even bit one of my friends. Nobody knows why this happened, but the city says our houses are unsafe and they're making all of us move."
"My goodness that's terrible," said Double Dee, "What a horrendous and unsanitary situation."
Amanda sniffled as Eddy and the reminder of the boys approached within speaking distance.
"Rats?" asked Eddy, "You mean to tell me the city can't get an exterminator out here to take care of this?"
At the conclusion of Eddy's statement, a loud booming voice echoed from behind,
"Been there done that boys. I agree, but what you are asking for is impossible!" said the voice in a tenor tone, containing some small traces of a northwestern accent.
The boys simultaneously turned around at which point they laid eyes on a relatively large man. He stood around 5'11", and was quite obese around the waste. His round head was shaved bald, his pale skin providing an intense contrast to the black three-piece suit he had donned.
"Pardon my proverbial bluntness sir," said Double Dee, "But I am quite the optimist and believe that there is no such thing as an impossible goal, especially when one is dedicated to a cause."
Double Dee paused, after which he decided to pose a question.
"My name is Edward," said Double Dee, "What may yours be?"
"Bob DeBattista," said the man as he extended his hand out in an attempt to shake Double Dee's, "Most people call me just plain DeBattista. I'm the owner of all of these properties, and as much as I hate to do so I'm being forced to close down and sell. It's too dangerous to continue to let these families live here. I've tried multiple times to negotiate with those corporate fat cats and politicians down town, telling them to improve the streets department and get rid of the pests so that the residents can once again have a decent living, but nobody wants to listen. Alls they want to do is fill their greedy pockets with no concern for the well being of others."
Debattista took a few steps toward Amanda's position, kneeling down beside her.
"Now don't you worry about a thing little one," said DeBattista, "I own a few more properties in a nice neighborhood on the other side of the city. Just like this one, but better. Nicer schools, playgrounds, and a lot of fun stuff for you and your family to do. Dry your tears, things are gonna be alright if I have anything to do with it."
Amanda merely stared back towards the smiling man in silence for a few moments, after which he rose back to his feet and began making his way down the street.
"Have fun on the rest of your trip boys," said Debattista as he passed the boys position. He then proceeded to make his way down the street, humming a military tune as he did so, eventually rounding the corner and disappearing from view.
"Wow, the guy sure makes a quick exit." said Eddy as he continued to stare in the direction of the corner, lowering his voice as he delivered his next statement, "A little too quick..."
"Who cares," said Kevin, "Let the Big Dork go, he was annoying anyway."
"I like his head," said Ed giggling dopily as he did so, "It was shiny."
As the boys concluded their conversation, Double Dee reached his hand downward towards Amanda, offering his assistance in bringing her to a standing position.
"I fully understand your plight, Amanda," said Double Dee, "I felt the same way when extenuating circumstances forced me to move to my new neighborhood years ago. But if I hadn't, I would have never met these great individuals standing behind me that I call friends, not to mention the love of my life. Fate works in mysterious ways."
Amanda sniffled.
"I know," said Amanda, "It's just, my family has lived here since my mom and dad were little. And worse, my big brother Julio has been gone since last night. He said he was going to go down into the sewers to try to stop the rats and save our neighborhood. He promised me he'd be back before we left, and that everything would be alright but nobody has seen him since."
"My goodness," said Double Dee, "Have no fear Amanda, for local law enforcement is more than equipped to handle such a case. We will take action to..."
Double Dee was suddenly cut off as Eddy jumped in front of him.
"Go down into the sewers, stop the rats, and find your brother Julio!" said Eddy.
"Now wait just a minute!" yelled Double Dee, "You know just as well as I do that tasks such as these are best left to the professionals. For one Mr. DeBattista already stated that the city exterminators cannot handle the rat problem, and two traveling into the sewer system is not only dangerous, but also highly unsanitary! I absolutely refuse to entertain this course of action."
"Double Dee, relax," said Eddy as he placed his arm around his friends shoulder, lowering his voice as he did so, "Where's your sense of adventure? We can kill two birds with one rock...have some fun and help these people while doing so. Now doesn't that sound exciting?"
Double Dee sighed.
"While you did substitute the word 'rock' for 'stone' during your delivery of that common idiom," said Double Dee, "I simply cannot argue your logic in this case. Fine, we shall attempt to locate Julio, provided that everyone follow my direction with regards to safety."
"That's the spirit!" yelled Eddy as he playfully punched Double Dee in the arm. He then proceeded to turn towards the remainder of his friends.
"What do ya say boys!?" asked Eddy, "You guys ready to clean up this mess and bring my man Julio home?"
"Let's do it!" said Kevin.
"Rolf is the expert at the extermination of the vermin," said Rolf, "We shall divide and conquer, and the horrible big teethed rodents shall be squashed."
At the conclusion of Rolfs statement, Ed suddenly jumped forward. He then proceeded to provide his comment regarding the boys upcoming adventure, modulating his voice to a long, drawn out, and melodic timbre.
"The prophecy is written in the pamphlet of Kilted are true!" said Ed, "The Munoz boy has gone missing! Five friends must find friend Julio, they will face the unknown, but they must prevail! For without the presence of the missing one, his family will never be happy again!"
After pointing to himself, Ed lifted each of his friends into the air one by one, in an effort to continue acting out his dialogue:
"Double Dee...Rolf...Kevin...Ed...Eddy!"
At the conclusion of his statement, Ed took hold of Kevin and Rolf arms in a tight squeeze. To the boys surprise, Ed began to dash towards the street corner, pulling Rolf and Kevin along with him in a cartoonish fashion as if they were streamers.
"They enter the tunnels to find the lost Julio," said Ed, emitting one final statement prior to disappearing around the corner, "AND DON'T FORGET THE OLIVES!"
Double De and Eddy remained still for a few moments, staring in the direction of the corner with black expressions. Eventually, Double Dee decided to break the silence.
"Well, Ed certainly seems excited with regards to your planned course of action," said Double Dee, "But I can't help but wonder what goes on within that cerebral cortex of his. I mean what could he possibly mean by, don't forget the olives?"
"Don't read into it too much Double Dee," said Eddy, "And if you do manage to find that reference and watch, please don't judge...Just be glad he got it right when he created us!"
As Double Dee stared at his friend with confusion, Eddy began walking towards the corner in a casual manner, intent on following his oafish friends lead.
"Well you heard him," said Eddy, "Let's Andale!"
Double Dee emitted a slight sigh.
"Oh dear," said Double Dee to himself as he initiated a slow jog, intent on catching up with his friends.