Nagato was calling all Akatsuki members through his Magic Lantern Body Technique.
One after another, Konan, Zetsu, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Tobi tuned into the group call.

"Fellow members of Akatsuki," Nagato began.

"Thank you for joining this emergency meeting. As the leader of our highly valued independent shinobi organization, I have some bad news today: We, the members of the Akatsuki, have a temporary financial problem."

A murmur went through the room.

"How is that even possible?" Sasori asked.

Nagato sighed deeply and started explaining, "Kakuzu invested all our savings in an organization led by Gatō from the Land of Waves ..."

All the Akatsuki members turned their heads to look at Kakuzu, who lowered his head.

"It was a closed deal! How should I know that they could finish building a bridge in the Land of Waves so fast?"

All members frowned. The atmosphere was full of kill intent. All their hard work of killing and torturing of the last years - was all in vain? A depressive silence followed.

"Anyhow," Nagato started again. "We came up with a plan to solve our financial issue quickly. Tobi, please present your idea."

Tobi nodded and took a step forward. Fidgeting nervously, he took some breaths to elaborate.

"We are going to open a cafe!" Tobi squealed happily.

The other members glared at Tobi.

"A what?" Konan raised her eyebrow.

"Are you kidding?" Deidara frowned.

"Is this a joke to you?" Kisame growled.

All the others started shouting.

"Silence!" Nagato commanded.

"Can't we just continue with our assassination and torture assignments?" Itachi asked in a rational tone.

Nodding in agreement, the other members started murmuring again.

Nagato shook his head. "Unfortunately, it's summer break. There are no missions within the next two weeks."
There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

"You gotta be kidding! Are there no other possibilities?" Deidara shouted, his voice rising by an octave and several decibels as he made his irritation known.

"There is one," Nagato sighed deeply.

Hoping for a better solution, everybody looked at the terribly thin and pierced shinobi.

"A brothel."

"A cafe, then." All Akatsuki members nodded in agreement.

The only possibility was to take on a cafe in Konohagakure. It was a small little cafe where some meals and sweets were served. Itachi knew it from his past days in Konoha. He had always loved the dango there.
The owner would go on holiday for two weeks. Usually, he would have never accepted. But Nagato looked so skinny and pitiful that the owner simply could not help but agree. Eager to finally start his well-earned summer vacation, he was in no mood to let somebody down.

All Akatsuki members met in the cafe. Tobi was running around happily.

"Alright," Nagato sighed. "As I said, Tobi will be the manager."

Tobi nodded eagerly, jumping around in the store.

"Hidan and Sasori, we need fish for the guests. Go fishing right away."

Hidan and Sasori bowed and left the room immediately.

"Itachi and Deidara, you're the waiters."

Itachi and Deidara exchanged a look, "Why us?"

With his orange mask on his face, Tobi stepped forward and explained, "Itachi is for the female customers and Deidara for the - "

Tobi stopped abruptly as soon as he saw Deidara forming another slimy clay ball with his super awkward mouth-hand. " - for everybody!"

Thankfully, the first explosion at the cafe had been prevented.

Nagato sighed again and commanded, "Konan, we need napkins."

"What do you mean, napkins?" Konan eyed her childhood friend cautiously.

Nagato looked tired and hungry. It was hard to lead a ninja terror organization. He sighed.

"The owner told us that they are out of napkins. We don't have the financial resources to order new ones. You have your paper technique. I'm sure you can handle that."

Konan nodded hesitantly.

Coming out of the restroom, Kisame grinned widely and grumbled, "There is no toilet paper, either."

Konan's eyes were filled with disgust, and she thought, I didn't sign up for this crap. Literally.

Why did she have to suffer so much pain?
Maybe there is another ninja terror organization with an open position?

But she couldn't disappoint her childhood friend after all. Sighing deeply, Konan left off.

Nagato continued with his instructions.

"Kisame, you'll be the cook."

Kisame frowned, "Why?"

"You already have experience with swords-," Nagato started, but Kisame interrupted him.

"What if I want to be a waiter?"

Everybody glanced at Kisame. Itachi showed a microscopic smirk.

Tobi was the only one to answer honestly, "If you were a waiter, we could close the store right away. Everybody would be terrified."

The shark-faced Kisame got ready to swing his sword Samehada, but Itachi waved at him.

"Kisame, you hate people. Don't you think cooking would be a better task?" Itachi asked in a low and hypnotizing tone. His crimson Sharingan was spinning, and Kisame felt mesmerized by Itachi's eyes.

Finally, Kisame nodded hesitantly. "Fine." He rolled his eyes. He had a soft spot for his partner.

Nagato sighed again. "Zetsu, you'll clean the store."

"Me?"

"Yes, I could not find a broom, so your leaves could help you with that," Nagato mumbled.

Why does nobody treat me like a human being? Zetsu thought desperately but started dusting off the tables.

Tobi ran around and handed out aprons with their Akatsuki cloud emblem on them, a red cloud on a black background.

"Where did you get these?" Deidara asked.

"I had them since we ordered the coats last time," Tobi squealed.

"Do we really need to..?" Kisame growled.

"I'd recommend you to wear it," Tobi's Sharingan started spinning behind his mask, and his voice sounded spine-chilling.

Kisame gulped and compiled. All the others also put on the Akatsuki aprons.

After some hours, the first customers arrived in the store. Guy and Kakashi walked in and sat at a table together. Guy had a bright smile on his face, and Kakashi was reading his book again.

Deidara walked over to them, "What can I bring you?"

"I'd love to have some coffee," Guy started.

Kakashi looked at the menu. "I'd take the miso soup."

"Very well," Deidara walked away from the table.

Tobi saw the first customers and ran over to Guy and Kakashi. He gasped as he spotted his old childhood friends.

Ok, stay calm. They won't recognize you, he thought.

Thankfully, he had his orange mask on.

"Welcome, new customers. We are filling in for the original cafe owner today. So, if you have any complaints or suggestions, I'd be glad to help you," Tobi's tone was a little nervous, but nobody noticed it.

"Thank you!" Guy smiled at him. "You know, my friend Kakashi and I are celebrating our best-friend-and-rival anniversary today!" He patted on Kakashi's shoulder.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow but stayed silent.

Tobi clenched his fist a little. "Ah, best friends, huh?"

Guy nodded eagerly and grinned his optimistic smile.

"Yeah! We have been best friends since our days at the ninja academy."

Tobi glanced at Kakashi.

Kakashi sighed and nodded slightly.

"Best friends, huh," Tobi said in a slightly offended tone, "Do you have any other best friends?"

Kakashi raised his other eyebrow and looked puzzled. After a short second, he shook his head.

Tobi felt a stitch in his stomach. He was about to turn around and walk away when suddenly Kakashi said, "I like your mask."

"Huh?" Tobi and Guy looked surprised.

Is now the time Kakashi finally changes his look? Orange would suit him, Guy pondered.

"Doesn't it bother you with only one eye?" Kakashi's eye focused on Tobi's eye.

"Umm.." Tobi got more nervous. "No, I lost one eye some time ago. I got used to it."

Kakashi nodded in approval. "I also lost one eye. But my best friend gave me his."

Tobi's eye widened, "Your best friend?"

Kakashi nodded again. Guy grinned happily.

Tobi tried to keep his cool and turned around to get away from the table. He felt a small tear rising in his eye.

"Wait a minute," Kakashi said quietly.

"Would you like to join us?" Guy suggested.

Tobi nodded and sat down beside them. Guy and Kakashi were talking like they did in their days in the academy. Tobi listened to them and laughed with them. Seeing his old teammates and friends, he could not help but experience a feeling of nostalgia.

Meanwhile, Hidan and Sasori were already bringing some fish to the cafe, so Kisame could start cooking.

"Be careful with your poisoned puppet arms, Sasori," Hidan groaned while carrying some fish in his hands, "You'll spoil the fish!"

"I don't want to touch it! It's slimy and disgusting! It creeps me out," Sasori growled back.

Hidan rolled his eyes.

Have you looked in the mirror lately? Even Jashin couldn't help you, he thought cruelly.

Still working on the napkins and toilet paper, Konan stood in the kitchen with Kisame.
Finally, Hidan and Sasori arrived.

Konan picked up the fish from Sasori and handed it over to Kisame,

"Could you cook something for Pain? He looks awful."

Kisame nodded and started preparing the meal.

Another group of customers arrived at the cafe. Jiraiya, Naruto, and Sasuke sat at one table.

Spotting his little brother, Itachi turned away and hid behind the counter.

Deidara was serving other customers, and Jiraiya observed Deidara's back.

Oh, what a beautiful blonde mane, Jiraiya thought with a heavy blush.

"Excuse me, beautiful miss?" Jiraiya asked in Deidara's direction.

The angry Deidara turned around and threw an offended glance at him, "Who are you calling miss?"

Deidara's mouth-hand was already chewing explosive clay.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Jiraiya apologized.

Tobi sprinted between the two and said cheerily, "No problem at all, dear customer."

Deidara was one step away from killing Tobi. Then, he sighed and continued serving food and beverages.

Thankfully, the second explosion at the cafe had been prevented.

"Take the table," Deidara instructed Itachi and pointed at the table with Jiraiya, Naruto, and Sasuke.

Itachi thought hard about what to do. He decided to use the Henge no Jutsu to transform into a woman. This way, Sasuke would not recognize him for sure. Funnily, he looked like a female Madara now.

Itachi walked over to the table and stated, "Welcome. What can I do for you?"

"I'd like some sake," Jiraiya started.

Naruto grinned happily and ordered a bowl of ramen.

Sasuke read the menu and sighed, "I don't want anything."

"Nothing at all?" Itachi asked.

"Hn."

"You look thin."

Sasuke darted an annoyed glance at Itachi.

"I could bring you some dango," Itachi suggested with a sweet smile. He observed his little brother closely. He had missed him, and seeing him in the cafe was kind of hard for him. He wondered whether his brother was alright.

"I hate dango," Sasuke grumbled.

Foolish little brother, Itachi thought and stomped away angrily.

Meanwhile, Konan brought the food to Nagato.

"Nagato, you need to eat. You're too skinny."

Nagato looked at her with tired eyes, "Yeah. The workload of leading the Akatsuki is overwhelming."

Konan sat beside him and observed him eating his meal.

"Maybe you suffered enough?" She whispered.

Nagato was lost in thoughts.

"Maybe. I don't even know anymore why I would like the world to feel pain. I got used to the metal rods and everything."

Konan nodded.

They sat down for a while and talked about their old childhood days. The two did not know that their sensei was sitting just around the corner and had just tried to flirt with Deidara.

Nagato and Konan could have had a nice get-together with their old sensei and talk about old times. After some time, Konan started to hope that maybe Nagato could get over his pain?

Suddenly, Nagato shouted, "Konan! Get me to the restroom!"

"Huh?"

"Konan! Quick! Hurry up!" Nagato growled in pain.

Konan picked him up quickly and sprinted to the bathroom with him. She closed the door and waited outside.

"Konan! I need more toilet paper!" Nagato shouted.

Konan needed a lot of chakra for her paper technique that day, and Nagato was forced to do many almighty pushes.

After some hours, Nagato crawled outside and stated in a dark and terrifying voice, "The world shall know pain!"

So much for the peace.

Meanwhile, Itachi served the beverages and meals to the table of Jiraiya, Naruto, and Sasuke. Naruto started chewing happily and Jiraiya leaned back to drink some sake.

Itachi was about to leave the table but he stopped when he heard Jiraiya speaking.

"You know, Sasuke. I know you want to avenge your clan and kill your brother," Jiraiya said and took a small sip of sake, "But maybe the hatred only increases your pain? It's so hard to hate your own brother." Jiraiya's thoughts quickly shifted to Orochimaru.

"I hate him," Sasuke mumbled with a blank stare.

Suddenly, Itachi felt a huge amount of sadness inside of him. Seeing his little brother like this hurt him a lot. He knew what he had done. And he knew that there was no way back.

He turned around and took a step towards the table. He leaned down to Sasuke, poked his forehead, and stated,

"I will love you always."

Then, Itachi turned around and walked away from the table.

Sasuke, Naruto, and Jiraiya looked after him, completely baffled.

"Wow. Sasuke, the ladies just love you! I wish I had your genes," Jiraiya laughed out loud.

Tobi was just about to join Guy and Kakashi for a walk around the village when Sasuke stood behind him.

"Are you the store manager?" The dark-haired teenager spoke with a cold voice.

"Yeah?"

"I would like to file a complaint against your pedophile waitress."

Itachi gulped.

A\N: I'd like to thank Rauchster for beta reading this!

Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments!