trigger warning: references to bullying

summary: But maybe, she had another opportunity to set things right. - or Pansy is mortally wounded and reflecting on her life so far. [one-shot]

a case of regret by thegreatexploress

Pansy Parkinson had gotten off lightly after the war. As the daughter of a Death Eater and with her close ties with Draco—not to mention that everyone knew that she had been a firm believer in blood supremacy—the Ministry had investigated her. They were worried about another uprising, that someone would step in to fill the void left behind by the Dark Lord. The Ministry wasn't taking any chances and had created a blood prejudice rehabilitation program. Pansy had been forced to take a Muggle Studies course this past summer (run by a squib, not the half-ass attempt Hogwarts had made) and had been… strongly encouraged to return to Hogwarts to complete her final year (read: forced).

And though she was currently crumpled on the ground and struggling to breathe, after an enthusiastic cursing session by some of her classmates, Pansy could finally admit to herself that she had made all the wrong choices in life. She had always had a mean streak. Some idiot therapist had said it was because her father regularly took out his frustrations on her, and it was a way for her to have some measure of control and power in her life. Pansy didn't like to think of that particular session. She knew that she was messed up, damaged. The only reason that Draco had kept her around was for her witty insults. The sex too. It filled her with shame to think about how unwanted she had always been.

The raven-haired witch couldn't fault her classmates for their revenge after the events of last year. She only had to close her eyes to hear her peers' screams as Pansy punished them under the Carrows' watchful eye. At that point, it had less to do about their blood and more to do with her own survival. So whenever her classmates cornered her this year, she didn't put up a fight. But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. And sometimes, Pansy wondered why she had survived the war. Even though she was trying to learn from her mistakes, the world had made up its mind on who she was, and she doubted that she could convince them otherwise.

And she was so very tired.

The stone wall dug into her back, but when Pansy tried to readjust herself, a sharp pain in her left side prevented it. She knew then that her injuries were worse than she initially thought. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. She tried to remain calm, but panic clutched at her. Black spots dotted her vision. Would anyone find her in time? Maybe her fate was to die a meaningless death in this forgotten corridor.

Fear gripped her at the thought, though she knew the world would be better off without her. Wasn't this what she deserved after everything she had done?

Though now that she was on death's doorstep, Pansy was terrified. She had put so much darkness into the world, and she wanted to try to set it right. To atone for her actions. In her forced Muggle Studies class, she had discovered a new world with things she had never imagined. Muggles were in many ways more advanced with their inventions, as difficult as it had been for her to believe. And it had made her re-evaluate everything.

She was still at the beginning of this journey of righting wrongs, but maybe she had been too late. At least, Pansy had been given this much time. She had managed to apologize to Potter and Granger at the start of the school year, and though they had looked sceptical, they had accepted it. Her eyelids grew heavy, and just as the darkness started to claim her, she heard someone shout her name. It sounded like Potter. As if she would be so lucky as to be saved by him.

But maybe—if Potter wasn't a hallucination—she had another opportunity to set things right. She held onto that thought as the darkness won.