"Fjord, Fjocus!"

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A "Critical Role" Campaign Two Fantasy

Fjord's POV: Reflections on his companions, especially the charming little blue tiefling.

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Synopsis: This vignette takes place during "Critical Role - The Mighty Nein" C2 E18 "Whispers of War". Early in the campaign, the Mighty Nein decide to spend the night at the luxurious Pillow Trove hotel in the high-class Tri-Spire neighborhood of Zadash, rather than returning to their mundane quarters in the Leaky Tap. Fjord plans to bunk with Mollymauk as usual, but the wanton tiefling's sensual plans are too much for him and he ends up spending the night in the 'girls' dorm', only to wake up to the sight of the three warrior women in their underwear. They are highly amused by the awkward half-orc's embarrassment.

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Enjoying some downtime after successfully completing a mission for "The Gentleman" and being praised and financially rewarded for their efforts, the companions attended the Harvest Festival, indulging in fun and games, as well as sampling sweet treats. Unable to resist a challenge involving the prospect of a good fight, they signed up for the gladiatorial competition known as the Victory Pit. Although they suffered a few bruises, the Mighty Nein survived three rounds of combat and achieved a shared victory, earning much coin, 1600 gold in total, and the cheers of the populace. Flush with their unexpected wealth, they decided to indulge in a night at the luxury hotel in the well-to-do Tri-Spire district. Fjord was still embarrassed by his poor performance at the trebuchet challenge, but luckily no one mentioned it after the competition.

Swaggering into the Pillow Trove, the party engaged several rooms and split up into smaller groups. Fjord planned to share with Molly, as they had previously become somewhat comfortable roommates. They were both alpha males and Fjord considered the unusual Blood Hunter his "bro", although Molly's occasional sexually suggestive behavior unnerved him. Fjord and the clever tiefling seemed to frequently take over the decision-making responsibilities of the newly formed motley confederation and had an unspoken easy relationship.

The women of the party had become quite chummy, and they decided to share a large room. Watching them chatting as they went off together, Fjord reflected that all four were capable fighters, but they had quite different personalities.

He was intrigued by Beauregard, the aggressive monk fighter. Strangely enough, he had a "bro" relationship with her, much like his easy rapport with Molly. This pleased Fjord immensely, for he felt compatible with the women in combat situations but was out of his element when dealing with them as women. The former sailor always felt awkward with the 'fairer' sex and sometimes blushed and stammered during personal conversations. Unfortunately, Jester became aware of this fact early in their friendship and the playful tiefling teased him at every opportunity.

Fjord admired Beau's physical presence, which was as buff and well-toned as his own, and she was as lithe and muscular as an aerobics instructor. He was most amused by her macho attitude: Once when the party needed to go undercover, Beau was the sole party member unable to magically disguise their appearance. To everyone's amusement, she grit her teeth and asked Jester to do her makeup, and the fashionable tiefling was delighted to give her a makeover. Jester pulled Beau's dull reddish hair out of its usual messy topknot and brushed it out into a glossy ginger mane, adding blush to her high cheekbones, and bold red lipstick to her full, lush lips. Fjord realized that Beau was a strikingly beautiful woman with this façade, but he would never, ever mention this, believing that any attention to her physical appearance would not be welcomed and she would probably be uncomfortable and react negatively.

Yasha was as unusual a woman as he had ever met. The huge and muscular barbarian could best be described as the "strong and silent type" and she was also "tall, dark, and handsome". As frightening and dangerous as she appeared, carrying an immense broadsword, she was soft-spoken and confessed that she kept a collection of dried flowers.

Fjord was uneasy with the alcoholic, kleptomaniac goblin girl, Nott, but he observed that the mild-mannered and clever wizard, Caleb, trusted her and they seemed to have an understanding. However, these two were more private and kept to themselves, frequently removing themselves from the main company. He found himself beginning to like the secretive magic user because Caleb treated Jester gently and respectfully, showing that he cared for the artless tiefling, but Fjord was also a little bit uneasy and possibly jealous (though he had no right to be) about how much the quiet wizard actually did care for the naïve girl.

Jester, though, seemed to be in his thoughts often. The cute and feminine little blue tiefling was the group member he met first. At that time, Fjord was still astounded that he had survived an explosion at sea and horrified by the sight the flaming ship sinking beneath the waves. Even more unnerving was waking up on the beach, with a mysterious sword by his side and magical powers. He soon met Jester on the road, and she revealed that she had been forced to leave her comfortable home in Nicodranas and her beloved Mama. Fjord professed that he wanted to go to the Soltryce Academy in Rexxentrum so he could learn about his powers and they decided to travel together from the Menagerie Coast into the heart of the Empire.

On any main thoroughfare, Jester did not simply stroll, but fairly skipped down the street, her unusual skin tone and attractive appearance drawing attention from passers-by, especially from admiring men. When she was in front of him, Fjord found himself watching her swishing tail and rolling hips. And sometimes when they were walking and chatting side by side, she would flash him one of her wide, endearing smiles and he had a warm feeling in his chest. Fjord had to remind himself that he did not want romance; his life was too fucked up and confusing enough.

Of the group, Fjord knew Jester the best. It did not take long to deduce that there must be something magical about her – she did not drink alcohol and she seemed to subsist only on pastries, fruit, and milk, yet her complexion remained clear of acne and her shapely figure never changed. Jester seemed to have not secrets but was spontaneous and open and had no filter when speaking her mind. He was never sure what was going to come out of her mouth. Fjord found himself searching for her presence when they were in a group setting, finding comfort in her visage. He was not sure what attracted his attention the most: The large, striking purple irises, the adorable freckles under her eyes, the dark blue bangs over her forehead, the tiny fangs that were revealed when she grinned mischievously, the flowers at the base of her small, curved horns, her cute accent, or her bubbly demeanor. She was obviously a woman grown, but had a child-like and unworldly nature, though she frequently flirted with him as a grown-up would. Her flirting really unnerved him and made him blush.

Once, she made it a point to attract his undivided attention and he was flattered at first but later dismayed when she handed him a handwritten brochure entitled "The Traveler" and began a routine sales pitch promoting her demigod. He was disappointed and vaguely insulted.

After checking into the Pillow Trove, Fjord had been forced to flee their shared room when Molly invited a pair of courtesans to "entertain" him, and with a wicked grin, then invited the serious half-orc to join in the fun. A dejected Fjord was sitting on the floor outside the door half-asleep when Beau took pity on him and invited him into the girls' bedroom and threw him a few blankets to help make his night more comfortable.

After a more restful night's sleep than he expected, Fjord woke up as the room filled with bright sunlight. Even from his position on the floor, he could see that the chamber was lit not by a window, but a floor-to-ceiling glass-paneled doorway that opened onto a small balcony. Beyond the balcony was a breathtaking view of the affluent Tri-Spire District.

But his attention was instantly captured by the sight of Jester as she turned in his direction from the mirror above the vanity where she had just finished attaching fresh flowers and ribbons to her horns and replacing her earrings and jewelry. His jaw dropped as he realized that she was attired only in such an elegant, sheer set of transparent silk smallclothes that nothing about her figure was left to the imagination.

Jester immediately noticed his wide-eyed gaze and dropped jaw and giggled, "Am I not the most bee-you-ti-ful tiefling you have ever seen?" striking a pose on her tiptoes with one arm extended over her head. Fjord's gaze immediately became transfixed by her breasts, which were perfectly round and the size of navel oranges. By stretching her arm out, her coin-sized, pointed nipples pressed tightly against the flimsy material of her brassiere and Fjord realized that they were the same shade of blue as her plump lips. He felt a stirring in his loins and had the sudden urge to press his mouth against those pert teats and then kiss her lips.

Still posing and looking up towards the ceiling, Jester continued to declare her thoughts, "Technically, my Mama, the Ruby of the Sea, is the most beautiful tiefling in the world, technically, but you can see where I got it from. Beauty and grace are in my blood!" Now Fjord's eyes wandered down Jester's body, noting the narrow waist which flared out to her curvaceous hips and thighs. The girl was not voluptuous as her famous mother was said to be, but her attributes were in the right proportions and overall, her image was most pleasing to the eye.

As beads of perspiration began to dot his forehead, Fjord desperately tried to demonstrate that his brain had not become totally nonfunctional. He croaked out, "Uh, yeah, you are beautiful. Jester, ah, is your underwear custom-made?"

The fashionable tiefling smiled and replied, "My Mama's seamstress, Victoria, designs our lingerie. Other ladies in Nicodranas wish that she would work for them, but Victoria keeps our style her secret and does not share them."

As Jester continued to model different poses as if for an artist, he now saw that her panties were as transparent as her bra and gulped as he discerned that the color of the triangle of delicate blue curls at the junction of her firm, toned thighs matched the shade of the hair on her head. The normally serious and clearheaded half-orc realized that he was becoming extremely aroused, and his face was heated as he blushed with embarrassment.

Jester noticed his open mouth and fixed gaze and grinned, her violet eyes twinkling, "Do you like what you see, Fjoorrd?" stretching his name out seductively as she twirled around in front of him, and he realized that the smallclothes was cut high to reveal her plump and perfectly rounded buttcheeks. He suppressed another urge to lean forward and kiss her inviting bottom, bewildered by these uncharacteristic thoughts. The lovely little tiefling seemed to be taking over his mind.

Looking behind Jester, Fjord noticed the other two warrior women were also attired only in smallclothes, but theirs were unflattering gray cotton military issue underwear. Beau was performing her usual morning stretching exercises and yoga positions, and Yasha was sitting in a chair by the window where the bright morning sunlight illuminated her huge broadsword as she inspected the edges for chips and rolling. Ignoring the others, Yasha began to sharpen and polish the blade.

Suddenly, Jester wiggled her bottom in front of his face and as Fjord became startled by the sight, her tail snaked around his thigh and stroked upwards. The observant half-orc could not help but notice the large bow of pink ribbon tied around the base of her tail and the small gold band with a dangling sapphire just below the heart-shaped tip. Her touch made him even more aroused.

"Oooh, Fjord, your falchion has appeared!" Jester exclaimed as she stared with amusement at his bulging shorts. Horrified, he hastily covered his groin with his hands, but the tenting in his boxers was now impossible to conceal, and to make matters worse, now both Beau and Yasha were staring at his obvious tumescence.

Beau smirked, "Hey Fjord, after reading that porn book she bought at Chastity's Nook, Jester must need some Tusk Love."

Jester giggled and gazed at him with insincere bedroom eyes, reaching out to him with outstretched arms. Making an exaggerated display of feigned desire, her pert breasts vibrated as she sighed imploringly, "Oskaarr!" Still holding his attention, she giggled again and bared her delicate fangs.

Fjord gasped and imagined how those small sharp teeth would nibble his lips if he attempted to kiss her. He had the absurd thought that she would probably taste like cinnamon if he kissed those tempting lips. Shaking his head, he chastised his imagination. Not helping! As he continued to gawk at the lovely little tiefling, he had the sudden urge to press his mouth against hers, encompass her sweet breasts with his hands, and push her down on the bed, convinced that she would be ready and willing for him. Fjord's befuddled mind was overcome with lustful thoughts and he felt like he was losing control. He blushed even more, and his red plaid Hanes boxers got even tighter.

Beau eyed him and smirked, "Hey, Fjord, your dick would be a good model for Jester's Spiritual Weapon, maybe a large green bludgeon."

"That is a very good idea, Beau," Jester replied enthusiastically, but then the trickster's violet eyes sparkled with mischief and she grinned, "And, basically, the thickness of a cudgel and a dick is most important, basically."

The monk was enjoying Fjord's obvious discomfort with the direction of their conversation and ventured, "Jester, do you have a favorite dick?"

Without hesitation, Jester instantly responded, "Why, Molly's dick, of course! His is long, thick, and purple, just like my eyes, technically!"

Fjord shifted his gaze from her alluring bosom to stare into those lovely violet eyes and growled, his voice deep and resonant with resentment at the suggestion of intimacy between the two tieflings, "Jester, how do you know so much about Molly's anatomy?"

Jester giggled at his irritation and teased breathily, "Never you mind, Oskar."

Beau observed his narrowed eyes and annoyed expression and laughed, "Don't be so jealous, dude. Molly is probably not boning her. If your mind was not so distracted by Jester's tits, you would remember that we were all naked together at the bath house and Molly made it a point of parading around the pool deck with his dick and tattoos on display."

Now the tense half-orc remembered the incident. Having spent most of his adult years amongst male sailors, he had felt self-conscious at the bath house and averted his eyes as the women undressed, determined not to invade their privacy. Fjord appeared visibly relieved, not wanting to dwell on the thought of Molly ravishing Jester's nubile young body. He muttered, "Oh yeah," even more embarrassed by his obviously resentful reaction to the girls' comments.

Beau stepped in front of him and smiled playfully, "Fjord, since you probably think that your dick is better than Molly's, stand up and show us!" As Jester moved behind Beau and peered over her shoulder with interest, her eyes raking over his torso. Fjord was shirtless and his broad chest, narrow waist, and sculpted abs were on display, and Jester apparently appreciated the sight. He felt nervous and hesitated to comply with the monk's order.

At that moment Fjord felt a shadow darken the room and he realized that Yasha was hovering over him. The imposing warrior sternly demanded, "You heard her, sailor! Stand up and drop your shorts! It is inspection time!" The nervous half-orc was so intimidated that he did not notice the twinkle in her eyes.

Fjord did stand up abruptly as ordered, but instead of lowering his smallclothes, he began to hastily step into his breeches, which was a painful act as he had to stuff his swollen member into the tight pants. As the three women stared at his discomfort, he squeaked out in a higher register, "I just remembered that I have to find my armor! Good day to you!" grabbed his shirt and rushed out of the room.

Back in his own paid-for quarters, Fjord immediately walked over to the vanity and poured water into the basin whilst grabbing a towel and proceeded to wash his sweaty face. The cool water was a relief not only to his visage, but also to his overheated emotions. Looking over his shoulder, he observed Molly sprawled sound asleep on the bed, alone and naked, but thankfully on his stomach. Hearing Fjord performing his ablutions, the randy tiefling woke up, turned over (to Fjord's dismay), stretched out his limbs, and grinned, "You missed a good time."

Fjord was still distressed by his recent experience and he ignored Molly's implications, instead confessing his humiliation, "Molly, the girls invited me to spend the night in their room when Beau found me in the hallway, and when I woke up, they were all in their underwear. Jester's smalls were transparent, and she was essentially parading around naked! I was most uncomfortable, and they laughed at me when I ran away."

Molly smiled, "Really, dude? If you had played your cards right, you could have had more fun than I did!" He paused and waggled his eyebrows, "At least you could have diddled Jester. The little minx seems eager to get it on with you."

Although Molly's suggestion was beginning to cause fantasies to appear in his imagination, Fjord protested, "Molly, that would be improper! Besides, Jester flirts with everyone. She is too naïve to know what she is doing!"

"Oh, she knows what she is doing, Fjord," Molly laughed, "Tiefling are always delighted with the prospect for some lovemaking." The irreverent tiefling waggled his eyebrows, "By the way, Fjord, you and I could have fun together."

Fjord groaned, "Molly, I don't swing that way."

Seeing an opening for a jape, Molly grinned, "Dude, I have seen you naked and I like the way you swing."

Fjord rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Tieflings!" It seemed he would get no peace from any of his friends. But now he knew that he would never forget the image of the enticing little blue tiefling posing in her lingerie and hoped he would not become tongue-tied when he saw her later.

Staring into his reflection in the mirror and combing his hair, Fjord got ready to join the rest of his companions for breakfast. He was well aware that the women would undoubtedly tease him about his abrupt departure from their room and resigned himself to being the butt of their jokes this morning. Molly got out of bed, and instead of dressing, wrapped himself solely in the tapestry that he had purchased at the festival, announcing that he was going to deliver his leftover fruit tray to the girls' room. Fjord shook his head at the impertinence of his fun-loving roommate, and also prepared to leave their chamber. He reflected that Jester often strove to catch his attention, and when she had it would flash him a wide smile. Despite his embarrassment, he admitted to himself that he enjoyed the warm feeling he had in his chest when she smiled, and sighed to himself, I guess becoming part of this motley crew was not such a bad idea.

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Note: I am new to "Critical Role" and have only seen about sixty episodes, but I agree with the Critters that it is impossible not to love Jester and be charmed by her personality. I thank Laura Bailey and Ginny Di (awesome cosplay) for inspiring me to write this fic. I hope you find it amusing.