Author's Note:

*distant shouting* Hey Maggie, why do you keep writing tragedies? It seems like maybe you're projecting your inner despair about your potential in life due to your depressive symptoms onto these poor characters!

One, rude, two …..ima need you to get all the way off my back about that, three, this is all angst with hardly a shred of levity to break the mold, so if that's what you're here for, proceed.

TW: child abuse; violence/gore

Cheers!

Maggie

The One Who Suffers

I winced, but didn't move as the belt came down across my back again. I refused to make any noise as it happened. I would cry later, but for her, I would be silent.

Crack

Another lash.

Crack

Against my will, a cry slipped out.

"I told you to be silent."

Crack

This time, I didn't make a sound. I just kept my head down, waiting for the next lash.

Crack

"I don't know what kind of demon your father was." Mara said. I could hear her breathing hard. "But I'll beat it out of you. You won't be like him."

Crack

I recoiled slightly. At this point, it was just another mark across my back that would soon join the others as a scar.

This time, there wasn't another one.

"Go to your room. Ask Christ for forgiveness."

I scuttled down the short hall, never standing up because I didn't want to move my back. The few feet to the relative safety of my room seemed just as far as they usually did when she beat me.

I managed to close the door before I collapsed onto my bed. There was nothing there except for a mattress on the floor and one thin blanket; everything else had been taken away with the hope that some Christ-like suffering would bring me closer to Jesus, or drive the demons out of me or something.

I don't know how long I lay there, silent tears running into the mattress before I forced myself to sit up and start fixing my back. I struggled the bloody shirt off, the threads of the cloth sticking to my back offering me a new wave of pain, and it was only more of a struggle to maneuver my sports bra off. But I'd managed it before, and I would probably have to again. I wanted to stop from sheer exhaustion, but I went on, pouring whatever water I had left in my bottle onto my back in a feeble attempt to keep the cuts clean.

I dug through the bottom drawer of the dresser, pulling out the almost empty roll of gauze. I needed more, but I only ever got it from the kindness of the people in the pharmacy who would give it to me. I hated asking for it every week. I made what I had work for now, wrapping the worst marks and putting my clothes back on. It still hurt like hell, but that was all I could do. I was out of painkillers.

As the sunlight slowly filtered out of my window as day turned to nightI sat back up, staring out of the tiny window.

"Please…..please, you know I'm not doing it on purpose. I don't know who you are that makes it happen, but please, make it stop. I've repented a thousand times, just….please. They keep saying, 'Jesus wants to save you Des, but you have to give up the evil.' I'm trying, I am, but I don't know how the evil got to me, I just want to get away, please….please help me."

I sat in the silence, staring out at the world. Keeping my ears open in case Mara came to check on me. I hated calling her Mom, but she would make me.

"I just want to get away." I whispered again.

There was silence for a few moments and then-

Boom

The thunderous noise was followed by the shattering of glass. The area around the broken window had started on fire, something had superheated the glass until it exploded, and the first explanation that came to me was lightning. My window had just been struck by lightning, even though there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

My fault, my fault, my fault. I'm not trying to, it wasn't me, I don't think, but it will still be my fault.

"DESDEMONA, YOU WICKED GIRL!" Mara screeched. I could hear her coming toward my room, I couldn't take another beating right now, I had to run, I had to get away from her, I just needed to-

With what little strength I could muster, I shoved the dresser in front of the door, then stumbled half-hazardly around my room, shoving the empty water bottle, only other clean clothes, last three granola bars and the jar of change and dollar bills I'd managed to hide from Mara into my backpack. All the while, Mara was at the door, trying to push her way in.

"DESDEMONA, YOU MOVE THIS RIGHT NOW, OR IT'LL BE EXTRA LASHES, AND YOU'LL SEE FATHER RENFUD AGAIN."

As a last ditch effort, I threw the mattress against the dresser, snatched up the blanket, and ran to the window. It was a few feet down to the fire escape. If she heard me jump, she'd leave the door, and run to our fire escape access to cut me off.

"Please, please, help me." I muttered, and jumped.

And I...floated. The air underneath me supported more than it should have. The fall took twice the time it should have, and I landed softly on the metal stairs. I immediately took off, trying to be both speedy and quiet as I ran down. Once I was a few floors below Mara, I ran as fast as I could with my injuries. My back cried out in agony, but I forced myself to keep going, to put as much distance between Mara and I before she found out I had escaped. As I touched the ground, I could still hear the faintest yells, ten stories up, of Mara shrieking for me to move the dresser.

I stuffed the blanket into my bag, and briefly considered putting the backpack on so I could blend in, but my back vetoed the idea, the unbandaged wounds sticking to the back of my shirt.

Where could I go? I needed some more gauze for the last of the cuts-I could pull in one last favor from Evangeline, or maybe Clemence would be there today. Then...somewhere unexpected. But where would Mara think I would go? Probably South, and then maybe West. It would be the smart thing to do. So I would have to do the extremely stupid thing and go further East….Long Island.

I checked that she wasn't exiting our building before stepping out into the New York foot traffic, and blending in. A few blocks later, I glanced into the pharmacy to see that she hadn't checked for me before stepping inside.

I wove through a few aisles before coming across my guardian angel, "Evangeline?"

She gave me a once over. "How bad was it today?"

"Not great, but hopefully, it will be the last time."

She nodded slowly. "What do you need?"

"Gauze, ointment, and probably some rubbing alcohol to clean it up."

She nodded a few more times. As I followed her to the correct aisle, I grabbed the only ten dollar bill out of my jar. There was maybe thirty dollars besides that.

"Here, love." she handed me a shopping bag with the supplies in it. "Take care."

I shoved the jar into her hands. "Here. For everything."

She pushed it back at me. "Keep it, love, if you're not going to see her again, you'll need everything you can."

I shook my head. "I don't want to leave any loose threads. Please. If you have to, keep it as a favor.

A few tears glistened in her eyes. "Take care, Des. I would say I hope I see you again, but it probably means something better if I don't, huh?"

I gave a sad smile. "Yeah. Yeah, it does." my voice cracked. "Thank you for everything, tell Clemence goodbye for me."

"Bye, Des. Stay safe."

I ducked out of the store, back into the crowd, and let it led me toward Long Island, where I got a ticket for a ferry ride. It was as I stood in the crowded boat that I finally felt all the adrenaline catch up with me. I was sailing away from Mara, for forever. I was finally and completely gone from her, the next boat wouldn't leave for at least another hour and a half, and it was already seven fifteen-she hated going out at night, I had at least a twelve hour lead on her, if she even figured out where I was going.

...

It was a scary next week. I would walk from sun up until sun down every single day. I had been surprised the first night when I'd found a vaguely rural, or at least not well traveled place to hide away from anyone and bandage myself and sleep, that Evangeline had not only put in the medical supplies I'd requested, but a few bags of chips, crackers, and even a pack of Skittles. I had a major lack of fiber in my diet, but I really didn't care. Mara wasn't there. That was all I needed.

My sixth day of walking was when it went from uncomfortable and grueling to terrifying and life-threatening. The demons came back.

I first noticed the dog by one of the beach houses. I steered well clear of it. I didn't want any trouble with anyone, and I didn't have the best experience with dogs. Somehow, it smelled me. And then it started following me. For three days, it followed me. I could rest for an hour, before I had to keep going. I couldn't sleep at night for more than a few hours before my gut would wake me up, telling me I needed to start moving and get out of danger. The eighth day of walking, I took too long on one of my breaks. They got closer than I wanted. And there were three large black dogs now, each quietly stalking me, like they knew that they didn't have to actually hunt me down-they just needed to wear me down for a few days and I would drop dead from exhaustion.

I wish they were wrong, but I hadn't eaten an actual meal in weeks, I hadn't slept properly in days, and I had to keep moving day and night. I didn't even know where I was going. Something in my gut told me to just make it to the end of Long Island, and I would find somewhere safe. It was a scary feeling, like just before my window had exploded, but it was a familiar feeling.

The ninth day is when shit hit the fan. Besides the now four large dogs that were constantly pushing me forwards at a pace I couldn't sustain, I had noticed a few very large, and very bizarre birds that seemed to be following me as well.

I had just passed a sign that said something about picking fresh strawberries, and I was considering how I might be able to steal a few later in the day when I heard a blood curdling howl pierce through the evening air. The dogs, which were now enormous, the size of small elephants, and the birds, which now looked more like human women with wings, were no longer meandering along. Something had changed, and they were determined to stop me.

Just over the crest of the hill in front of me I could see the roof of a large farmhouse. I took off as fast as I could up the hill, hoping they might be able to shelter me from the monsters behind me. The demons I had always been scolded about and punished for by Mara and Father Renfud were actually after me.

And they were catching up with me. I had been running on empty for days on end, and this hill was steep-it was a losing battle.

A few feet from the large pine tree growing at the top of the tree, I felt claws dig into my shoulder and back. I shrieked as a wave of pain shot through the network of scars all across my back. A pair of teeth latched onto my ankle, dragging me down as the pain became a deafening roar in my ears. Somewhere in my consciousness, I registered shouts from the other side of the hill.

Another dog jumped onto me, and it's jaw began tearing into my arm. The other birds were pulling at my hair and my skin, there were gashes and cuts and blood running down my limbs, and I was screaming hollow screams of absolute agony that filled the air making me numb to everything but the pain and terror that I was being torn apart by dogs and birds. I was being eaten alive by the demons that had never left me alone.

A final thought flashed through my mind: Who could be cruel enough to free me from Mana only to lead me to the demons?

Boom

That familiar thunder swept through the air, and then all of the animals were thrown off of me, thrashing around with electricity. I dazedly noticed that my left hand was missing three fingers. With my right hand, I grabbed some of the grass, pulling myself the a foot closer to the top of the hill. My vision blurred so bad, I only saw orange shapes dragging me away from the monsters and to the top of the hill, trying to get me to drink something.

"Help…...please, my name is Des…...please…...please, help me."

…

"And?"

"And she died. You see those two pine trees?"

Eleanor nodded, staring at Half-Blood Hill, where the trees, one a little smaller than the other, stood tall.

"The bigger one is Thalia's tree. Before she was freed with the golden fleece, she was transformed into a tree as she was dying. And the smaller one is Desdemona. For some reason, the golden fleece never allowed her to become human again. Both were daughters of Zeus. Zeus put them both into awful homes and never helped them, except to save them as they were dying. And you know what?"

"What?"

"It would have been kinder to let them go to Elysium. He only immortalized their suffering. You don't want to be like your sisters."

Eleanor shook her head, tears shining on her cheeks.

"It'll be tough for you to live as a child of Zeus. But he's the biggest danger to you. I'll keep you safe, but we need to go where he can't find us. And some day, we'll stop him from ever endangering his kids again. Sound good?"

Eleanor nodded.

"But you have to trust me. And I have to be able to trust you"

"You can trust me, Vera."

Vera smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Then let's go. Let's stop him."

As the young daughter of Zeus was led away, the pine trees just bristled in the breeze. Just like they always had since the day they died.

Author's Note:

Thank you to my beta-reader, colmathgames

As always, here's the name meanings:

Desdemona: wretchedness/suffering. Where the title comes from

Mara: bitterness

Evangeline/Clemence: Kindness/compassion

Have a lovely day!

Maggie