It's been a long two weeks. Both NYPD's elite squads were praying to wrap up their first joint case. For the most part, the two teams were working well together or at least they thought. The tension between the SVU Captain and the Lead Detective of Organized Crime was noticeable. It made every briefing awkward. It made members of both squads uncomfortable.

She wasn't purposely avoiding him maybe she had been. She had been so engrossed in the case she barely had time to process the return of the prodigal son. The man who left her in shambles, who failed to reach out to her during her lowest of lows, the man who was not by her side when she became a mother. He had missed so many monumental moments in her life. It angered her, it upset her, it broke her. Broken, she was broken.

The only one who stuck around was Fin. He vowed to have her back. He made sure to protect her, even if she didn't like it, he shielded her and was there for her. Although she was upset about him knowing the truth about her ex-partner's whereabouts for the last decade, she realized his intentions were to protect her, and to protect her son.

Noah, her sweet boy. Her gift from God, her blessings, her son. Too busy wrapped up in the case she could not see her son as much as she liked within the past two weeks. Praying it was the last day she would work with the Organized Crime Unit. She sat at her desk and began to sign the usual paperwork she had. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy working with Sergeant Bell, Wheatley, who was a second-grade detective. It was the lead detective. Her thoughts were interrupted by two knocks on her office door.

"Come in," she groaned as she continued to read over the paperwork she had been given.

"Li-, Captain Benson," he spoke, his voice deep and rough.

She bit her lip nervously. Surprisingly, this was their first time in a room alone. Boundaries that were put up around her were now crumbling. She was vulnerable and didn't have anyone to look at to get out of this conversation with the last man she wanted to be in a room with.

Olivia took a deep breath and then looked up at the man. He definitely aged, in the last ten years she always wondered what he looked like and now standing in her office she doesn't know what to say or how to react.

"Listen, before you say anything, I just want to talk. I was thinking maybe we could talk, we Could go to the diner a couple of blocks from here," he softly smiled as he cracked his knuckles.

She can only bring herself to say, "Elliot… 10 years… 10 long fucking years."

"Liv look at me, please."

"I called you nearly every day for the past 6 or 7 years and not one call. I went to your house and would sit in my car by the big oak tree across the street and I watched your family continue on with their lives," she was struggling to hold back tears. "No one called to check on me, no one called during the monumental moments in my life, but I was there for your families every chance I got."

"Liv, I want to explain this all to you, but not here. I promise you I can answer all your questions just please let's not talk about this here," he inched closer to her desk after shutting the door.

"You lost the privilege to address me with that name. Only friends are allowed to call me Liv. It's Captain Benson to you Detective, and it will stay that way. Since you want to waltz into my squad room, my office, we play by my rules. We are going to talk about this now."

Elliot hung his head low as he sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. Eyeing all her collectibles and running his rough calloused fingers over her name plate.

"I hope you know I am proud of you. You've accomplished so much. I am so sorry about how I left, and I can't imagine how bad I hurt you, but Olivia you need to know why I left."

Olivia slowly twisted the cap of her water bottle and took a sip followed by another and another. She set the water bottle down and sighed.

"Why didn't you call? Elliot I've had pretty fucked up things happen to me but when I was at my lowest, I need you and YOU- YOU WERE NOT THERE," she was now raising her voice and the detective turned his head toward the blinds where people were occasionally turning their attention towards them. Fin watched carefully, he knew this would turn ugly.

Fin wrote what one assumed to be a completed sheet for the captain to sign instead it had a note. He walked into her office and placed a hand on her shoulder. Casually placing the note down he looked at Elliot and gave him a glare. Olivia quickly scammed the paper as he softly squeezed it and whispered in her ear that caused her to laugh as Elliot shifted in his seat. Olivia gave Fin a nod as he walked out.

"Liv if you just let me explain this all to you, you would understand-"

"You don't get to call me that I said."

"Captain Benson, will you allow me to explain myself? You have been avoiding me for two weeks now."

He was not wrong, anytime they could have a moment alone she proceeded to do something else to distract her from him, to avoid having the conversation with him.

"I want to know everything El, I- I need answers."

He sat back down and drew in a long breath and exhaled long and deep. "After the shooting, seeing Sister Peg die in your arms and knowing my gun killed Jenna, I couldn't be in this unit anymore, Liv. Believe me I tried, but I couldn't. Before I could even put papers in, Tucker, Cragen and Porter. Yes, Porter as in Dean Porter asked me to go UC for the FBI to stop a sex traffic ring that was beginning to go international. I took the job, and before I left I wanted to tell you, but they wouldn't let me. So, I went deep undercover."

Olivia's mouth went slack. She clenched her fists. Dean Porter, that bastard. He knew he fucking knew. Tucker knew, Tucker knew where Elliot was this whole time; Cragen also knew where Elliot was.

"You never really turned in your papers?" Olivia asked in almost a whisper.

She looked at him and saw him shake his head. She felt tears streaming down her face. Not only that, but she banged her fist on the table and turned to him.

"Olivia I asked for updates on you. I wanted to be pulled out during the whole Lew-"

"DO NOT SAY HIS NAME," she demanded.

He looked at her with soft eyes, he felt guilt, he felt sadness, he felt anger, but when he looked into her eyes, he couldn't help but reach a comforting hand out to hold her hand. She swatted his hand away and ranger fingers through her hair.

"They agreed to let me step away, I went straight to your apartment, but I couldn't face you Olivia. I was too much of a coward, so instead of reaching out I went back undercover. Before I went under the first time I did divorce Kathy. I haven't seen the kids since I signed the papers." He ran his hands over his face.

"You were in New York during my kidnapping? You were here? When I called it went straight to voicemail."

"They called me back and gave me an ultimatum, I chose to go back undercover. Even before I left, I just couldn't. I am sorry, Olivia I couldn't face you, I am a coward and I could not face you." He gulped and looked into her eyes and then down again at her name plate. "I heard the voicemails, and they broke me, but I couldn't face you. Olivia, I really couldn't. I tried, but I was so- so fucked up. You didn't deserve to see me like that, I was so broken. I was hooked on drugs and drinking and this UC job really ran me over Li- Olivia."

"And I wasn't broken? I wasn't worth even a call back?" She slid her glasses from her face. "You left me Elliot."

"Olivia. I am so sorry," Elliot stood up and reached a hand out to her.

She swatted his hand away once again as she stood up. She took one step and then shoved him. Olivia laughed as she looked up at him up and down. "You have the audacity to think I would just let you walk back in so easily. Fuck off!"

"Liv, you have to understand-"

"I said don't call me that!"

"I said I was sorry."

"Get out."

"Olivia-"

"Get out!"

"You wanted to talk Olivia, yet all you are doing is yelling at me. You don't know what I have been through-"

"I- Wow Elliot… It's time for you to go. I'm not going to ask you again, get out!"

"We aren't done here."

"Yes we are! If you don't leave this office right now Detective Stabler, I will do something we both regret. I'll break your jaw," she gritted through clenched teeth.

He stepped closer once again, and she threw a punch. He stood there jaw slacked as he held his jaw that was now in excruciating pain. Elliot ducked just in time before he got clipped with a stapler. He could see the anger in her eyes.

Uniforms began to walk towards the office to get a better idea as to what was going on.

"Get back to work everyone," Sergeant Tutuola demanded.

Elliot walked out the office holding his jaw. "See you all tomorrow," he grumbled as he left the bullpen.

Sergeant Bell made her way into the office. "Captain- oh Olivia!"

The SVU Captain was sitting on the couch, her head in her hands sobbing. Olivia picked her head up and gave a soft smile through her tears. "I am so sorry you had to hear and see that."

"Should I fire the dick?"

Olivia chuckled and smiled. Wiping away her tears she looked at the woman. "No," she chuckled once more. "I just- it's a lot to process. I'm sorry, that was very unprofessional of me, it's just ten long years! Ten fucking years,' she began sobbing once again.

"You and Fin hold down the fort until tomorrow morning? I need to go home. I need to see my son."

"I understand, do what you have to do," Bell said as she helped the Captain gather her stuff.

Olivia kept her head down as she walked to the elevator. Luckily, on her side she slipped in and out of the building quickly. After making it home she relieved Lucy of her duties and snuggled with Noah on the coach.

"I missed you so much mom," Noah said as he snuggled into her.

"I missed you too my sweet boy."

He hugged her neck and felt the tears hit his shoulder. "Mom why are you crying? Did I make you sad?"

"No baby, just the opposite, I love you so much, and you just are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Noah smiled and wiped her tears and gave her another squeeze. "Alright sweet boy time for bed."

Although he didn't want to go to bed yet, he didn't want to upset his mother, and so he obliged. He ran down the hall to his room and began to get ready for bed.

"This is going to be a long night," she mumbled to herself as she poured herself a glass of wine.