He watches the sky, lost in the rhythmic percussion of his thoughts. His eyes are steady to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before twilight beckons the stars. His lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he is enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. He sat there in deep solitude. He looked at that lifeless building in front of him. This two- storeyed building was just a guest house for him still now. But from now onwards he couldn't help but become a permanent inhabitant here. He scanned the building keenly once again. Suddenly , he felt a soft touch from behind.
"Dadu"
This words entered into his ears like a sweet melody. He looked into those tiny eyes. It reminded him of many things.
And a strong cold wind seemed determined to return him to the olden days. In evenings like this he returned home tired and drowsy. His body, his brain, and his tired soul, can testify that he have worked at full tilt for long. But at the doorstep she welcomed him with a bright smile that refilled his soul at once. She has a fragment of fire in her eyes, a sacred spark .
Apko pata hai aaj usne kya kaha? She said in excitement.
Kya kaha? He asked without much interest.
But she almost dragged him to their room. He was there in the cradle playing with an innocent smile. She made him stand beside the cradle
Pa….Pa ,the baby uttered.
It was not complete, not clear too. But he felt a rush of emotions inside him. He felt that the eyes of the baby is all of me. There is a purity to the gaze and he know in that moment without a word said inwardly or from his lips, that he love him eternally . But he didn't speak a word and left from there. He was like that. He never expressed his emotions.
Another day ,the baby was suffering from fever, a severe one. Both of them sat beside him all through the night. By morning , after much medication the baby stopped crying and was fast asleep.
But she was laying in the bed. He felt it unusual ,for she never sleep in the day time. He approached her.
Mujhe acha nahi lag raha hai. poore raat soo nahi paya dha na. Shayad uske wajah se tabiyat garab ho gaya hoga.
He stared her for a while, then nodded. May be she expected that he will caress her. But he didn't believe in those romantic acts. He didn't caress her not even touched her. But after that, he craved for caressing her many time. But she didn't come. Her laughs resonated in the house. She appears everywhere but whenever he approaches her, she hides in the invisible air, perhaps taking her revenge.
After that he tried hard to be a good father. But somewhere he lost the balance. He got engrossed in the work so much so that he didn't even realize that his son was in the process of being a criminal. Then he himself was forced to….. No he should stop it here.
Arjun may have called him a thousand times by now. He jerked away his thoughts. Hold those tiny hands and entered into the house.
He has no time to rest now. He couldn't repeat the mistake. Memories may be black but he cannot spread it into his future.