I don't own Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co, but this crazy crack-fic made my daughter laugh. I thought maybe you might laugh too. This is an alternate reality...
Deep in the woods somewhere not far from London a tree creaks in the wind. In another life it was a he. He was named Anthony Lockwood. He fought ghosts along side Lucy Carlisle and George Cubbins. He was fearless. Now he is leafless as fall had come.
The winds had blown in a little dark haired fairy. Lucy had a wand strapped to one hip and a pouch of fairy dust on the other. She darted about when the gusts let up. Spotting a empty hollowed nook above a thick branch of the Lockwood tree, she spirited inside. "This seems like a nice place to live for a while," she said to herself. She began busying herself, making a bed to one side and a food pantry on the other. Tired out, she fell asleep.
The next morning she awoke to the sound of a furry body cramming his way into her new home. The chipmunk nearly choked on the contents of his cheeks as Lucy surprised him with a curious greeting, "Hello?"
The chipmunk spit out said cheek contents onto the floor. They were tiny books and journals.
"Uh, Hello..." he replied hesitantly. "I'm sorry, I thought this space was empty."
"Oh, well I just moved in yesterday. It is quite roomy. I dare say enough room for the both of us to make it through winter." Lucy offered.
"Indeed it does and certainly that seems to be a good idea. My name is George." He bowed low.
"I'm Lucy." She nodded back. There had been a great pandemic and no one shook hands any more.
Meanwhile, as Lucy and George got to know each other, a figure haunted the Thames. A teen girl named Flo enjoyed sifting trash for recycling. She was out to save the world. Sometimes she came across jewelry and such and finding their owners often brought reward money. That funded her crusade to clean her part of the shore. Others did the same.
A pigeon in the forest took it upon himself to regulate space. He would reposition seeds so trees would spring up further apart. It bothered him when a seed would sprout in the lap of another tree. His name was Quill. He enjoyed watching the cleaning of the river bank as well. He thought he was a great supervisor. If anyone littered, he was sure to, uh, drop a message communicating his dissatisfaction.
One day Flo had not had her breakfast or lunch as she had given her all into her duty cleaning after an outdoor birthday party had been ravaged by the winds. The decorations and disposable carried into the water came to rest in her jurisdiction. Suddenly she was overcome by low sugar and started muttering to herself.
"Where's the magic? I'm sure there's to be more paranormal spiritual activity in my life!"
She took off running without care or understanding of where she was. As she ran a dissatisfied Quill expressed his anger by pelting her with his droppings. Flo, being a being a bit touched cried, "It's the magic, I can see now."
Quill was now worried and followed her. She tripped and fell at the base of the Lockwood Tree. George and Lucy looked down at her.
"This is not right! I've got the magic. I can see!" Flo wailed.
Quill the pigeon flew up to Lucy the Fairy in order to get her help. George scurried down the tree as the other two flew toward Flo.
She looked at the fairy, the bird, the chipmunk, and the tree. "This isn't how we're meant to be. But the pigeon magic will cure us!"
Quill said, "But I'm not magic"
"Then how can you talk?"
"You need to eat. I've been watching you all day and you haven't eaten a thing."
"That doesn't answer my question."
Lucy said, "But it does answer ours."
"Listen here, I'm going to use the magic and set us right." Flo insisted.
Lucy smirked, "Ahem, I'm the one with the fairy dust." She took out a ouch of fairy dust with one hand and her wand with the other. "May we be as we should." Her hand swished and George added, "Dootily Doodly Doo." Because he felt that what he should do.
Then as quick as a pigeon could jump across a limb, they changed into full sized people fitting the descriptions of the agents of Lockwood and Company.
"Now everything is as right as rain." Flo smiled as she reached for George's hand. They all returned to town before the sun set.