The first time they kissed, they were drunk. It was a dare.
'Are you sure?' Sirius asked.
Remus swallowed. Nodded. Licked his lips. Nodded again. His mind whirling.
'Yeah.' He croaked out. And then before he could chicken out he leaned forward for a quick press of his lips against Sirius'. He felt sudden warmth in his heart as he leaned back and opened his eyes, watching the expression on his best friends face. He looked beautiful. Eyes still closed, lips slightly parted, long hair tied in a messy bun and his cheeks flushed – from the alcohol, the cold or the kiss, Remus never came to know. But that night, he committed that face to memory.
The second time they kissed, Remus hadn't smiled for seventy four hours. And Sirius was keeping count. Remus was, for all intents and purposes, according to Sirius anyways, depressed. Sirius jumped on Remus' bed, his body still soaked in sweat from practice, and whined.
'Mooooony...'
Remus looked at him, his expression dull and lifeless and something in Sirius' heart tightened. He was going to murder that girl as soon as he found out her name. How dare she dump his Moony?
'Am I undesirable?' Remus asked, running his hands softly through Sirius' hair as his head rested on Remus' lap.
'What? Of course not! You're the most desirable person I know. You wear sweaters. Have the cutest head of curly hair. Inhale chocolate like your life depends on it. Have the meanest sense of humour and you knit. You're perfect.'
Remus huffs, ears tinting a pretty shade of pink but doesn't say another word. Sirius watches intently as Remus leans his head against the headboard. His jaw clenching and unclenching, his throat working as he swallows, before, finally, he smiles, eyes still closed.
'Stop staring at me, you idiot.' He mumbles, finally looking down, eyes crinkled at the corners like worn paper. Before he can think much into the why of his action, Sirius leans up and presses his lips against Remus'. It's a quick peck, friendly really, other than the heat blooming on his cheeks.
'You're the most desirable person I know.' He mutters under his breath, not giving Remus a chance to do anything other than stare with an open mouth before he's out the door. And Remus? He just tries to ignore the strings tugging at his heart.
The third time they kissed, Sirius was crying. He'd just gotten the letter from his family. He was disinherited. And honestly, Remus was glad. James and Peter had gone for an emergency alcohol dash. Remus was sitting cross legged in front of Sirius, watching with his heart in his throat as the first tear started to leak out. Sirius never cried. Not when he broke half the bones in his body. Not when McGonagall said she was disappointed in him. Not when James didn't talk to him for a week. But now, the pain inflicted by his family is making Sirius choke out little gasping sobs, his face flushed as he struggles for breath and all Remus wants to do is hold him close and make the pain go away. So that's exactly what he does. Remus crawls over, settling next to Sirius and pulling him on his lap. One hand rubs circles on his back in a soothing gesture as the other soothes the knots in his hair. Sirius curls into a ball, calming down, his head pressed against the crook in Remus' neck.
'Okay?' Remus asks.
Sirius looks up, his lashes wet and sticking out individually. That's the second time Remus commits a face to memory. And he promises he'll try his best to never make Sirius have it again. And so he kisses him. His heart stops as he feels Sirius gasp, his lips parting. But they don't stop with just a friendly peck like they have before. They press closer, lips wet and insistent. Trying to convey all that they can't through words. They hear cheering and the door opens as James enters with a flourish, Peter following close behind and they pull away, both pink to the roots of their hairs and gasping. Remus watches the expressions flicking across Sirius' face. Confusion. Love. Pain. Lust. But Sirius, having mastered the art of putting on a blank face, composes himself and ignores the questioning looks Remus sends him throughout the night.
The fourth time they kiss, Sirius, James and Peter had transformed into an animagus in front of him. He looked into the eyes of the stag, the mouse and the black dog, his eyes shining in the dim light with unshed tears. Sirius licks his hand and Remus sniffles, bending down to the dog's level as he pets him. The dog barks happily, excited, before he licks Remus right on the mouth.
They change back, and one by one, Remus hugs them all, his throat still thick with unshed tears. As James dashes out to procure some celebratory chocolate, Peter following in his wake as always, Sirius turns to look at Remus.
'Since when have you been working on this?' Remus asks finally, swallowing thickly.
'End of second year.' Sirius answers, smiling softly. 'What do you think?'
Remus grins. 'I think all of you are bloody idiots.'
'But you love us anyway.' Sirius grins.
'I do.' Remus says. And in the quite that follows, Sirius is the one that reaches forward, one hand placed gently on Remus' face as the other tugs him close. And before Remus can say anything, Sirius is kissing him, soft and sweet and gentle. Remus shuts his eyes, surrendering to the feeling of Sirius' soft mouth moving against his, sparks shooting throughout his entire body. Sirius parts his lips with his own, tongue probing in and Remus moans deeply in the back of his throat before responding in kind. Sirius tastes like cigarettes and mint chapstick. Sirius smiles against his mouth before Remus realizes he said that out loud.
'You taste like sunshine.' Sirius murmurs against his lips.
'How do you know what sunshine tastes like?' Remus asks, and then, realizing he could be kissing Sirius instead of waiting for an answer, he leans forward, joining their lips again.