The Dark Side Of…
After Ron's, Harry's, and Fred's death Hermione lost it, she was no longer in control of herself. She felt herself slipping away, with each passing day that went by. She felt her depression consume her, even though around the Weasley's she acted normal, as normal as she could be. Not only did she lose her best friends, and Fred. She lost her parents too. They didn't remember her. She couldn't reverse it, she was alone. She didn't take pride in reading in her spare time any more, she could just wander off and hide. She was a different person. Ginny didn't even notice her best friends depression, she couldn't see it, just the mask Hermione wore. George was too consumed with the death of his twin to notice any one else. Charlie was staying with his family for awhile to help them through and mourn the loss of his siblings. Bill even stayed at The Burrow, to help out.
Bill and Fleur didn't marry after he was attacked, she was to vain. She moved back to France, leaving Bill before the war. Bill couldn't say he was broken. Fleur wasn't his mate, and right now he wasn't even looking or paying attention to his sense to notice who his mate was.
Dinner at The Burrow was quiet and it was rare for George to even show up at the dinner table. Hermione and Ginny would help with dinner preparations, while lost in their thoughts. Many things got burned or set on fire. Not many jokes were cracked, Charlie and Bill tried, but their mother was beside herself with sadness.
Months went by and Hermione was hanging out in Georges room, she was sitting on his bed next to him, leaning against the head board. They sat in silence for quite sometime before either of them spoke up.
"It's getting late in the day, I have a shop I need to attend to."
"Yeah."
"Are you going back to Hogwarts?"
"No."
"Right."
Hermione rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She was waiting till the darkness swallowed her whole, and when she could see her friends again, in her dreams.
In her dreams everyone was together, laughing and smiling. The war was over and every one was safe and sound. But once she woke up she had a heavy and broken heart. Nothing would ever be the same, nothing would ever be what it was. Happiness would fill their hearts again, eventually.
Once Hermione left George's room she passed Bill in the hall, who got a whiff of her scent. He let out a growl. Hermione stopped, she turned and looked at him. "Did you just growl at me, Bill?"
"You smell like, George." He said in an angry growl. Unsure at first why he was so upset that she smelt like another man.
"Yeah, I probably do. But why did you growl at me?"
"I don't like you smelling like other men." He said before he could stop himself.
Hermione sighed and walked off ignoring Bills whimpers. Hermione wandered outside, walking up to the bit oak tree beside the lake. She sat down and just enjoyed the breezes as she was now lost in dark thoughts.
Hermione has thought several times of taking her own life. Being with her friends again, being whole. Who was she with out them? What was she going to do with out her brother and her best friend. Several times she thought about how she would kill herself. Would she do it the muggle way and slit her wrists? Would she hang herself? She walk into old enemy territory and ask to be killed by a curse? Or would she over dose on pills and fall into a deep dark slumber and never wake up. Maybe she would just hop in the lake and drown herself, or get caught in a fire created by her own wand.
She tried to drown herself in the bathtub but she freaked out and coughed up water. That didn't work so well. She thought more about hanging, but then realized only if your lucky will your neck snap right away, if not your hang there and strangle to death. Slicing open her veins on her wrists just seemed to messy and she didn't want to make a blood stained mess in the Weasley's house. She wanted so badly to die, but she didn't want to be rude about it.
Love, love was something she wasn't looking for, at the moment. She knew she needed it, she needed to feel the love of someone. Whether sisterly, brotherly, by a parent. But everyone was to caught up in their own lives to notice her. And she didn't want to burden them with her pain. Her pain was less than what they were feeling at the moment. She just wanted to slip away, no one would notice. And she knew it wouldn't matter to any one if she died, she wasn't Harry Potter nor was she blood. She was just a muggle born witch with brains. That's it, and she knew it.
Several days passed and Hermione was sitting on the beach by Shell Cottage with George, Ginny and Bill. Bill kept smelling her, but she just ignored him. She fancied Bill, sure, he was very handsome, he was sweet and caring. Even though he went all territorial on her the other day.
Hermione looked off into the still water. She thought about loading her pockets full of rocks and putting a spell on herself so she couldn't escape when she walked into the water and sank to the bottom. Oh how she just wanted to die. Her heart was broken, dead..gone She wasn't sure if it was even there any more.
Bill noticed the sadness that consumed Hermione, he also noticed something about her scent now that he was paying attention, she was his mate. But his mate was sad, and he didn't like it. So he had to think of some ways to cheer her up. "'Mione, would you go to one of those moving pictures with me?"
"The Theatre?"
"Yes, will you?"
Hermione didn't look at Bill, didn't even register that he just asked her out. She figured it was some sort of pity thing, since Bill tried his best to cheer up those he cared for, not that she thought he cared for her. Not in the way she wanted.
"Sure, movie sounds fun."
Bill smiled a bit, but Hermione showed no emotion. He smile faded, and he lowered his head.
"Oh, Theatre, sounds's fun. Can George and I go to?" Ginny asked
"Uh..." Bill started
"No, Ginny, It's a date." George interrupted.
Ginny smiled wide and nudged Hermione, who responded to her friend. "You're going on a date with Bill." She said happily.
Hermione put on her fake smile, that fooled everyone, but not Bill. Hermione looked at Bill, with her fake masked smile as she asked, "What do you want to see?"
He returned her smile, as he replied, "I have no idea, pet. What would you like to see?"
Hermione shrugged "I guess we could always see Beauty and the Beast."
"Sounds good."
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After their movie date, they walked around muggle London at night. Bill kept stealing glances at Hermione. He noticed she wasn't there, even though she was standing right beside him. She was lost to the world, she was lost to him.
He returned her back to The Burrow, kissing her lips, a peck. He said good night as did she. Hermione then walked away in the darkness of The Burrow. Bill let out a sigh, his mate was upset and he didn't know what to do. She wasn't even aroused by him like he was her. Did he even want him like he wanted her. Was she even attracted to him, like he was her? It was frustrating for Bill, and he knew he had to keep a close eye on the young witch, he didn't know what...but he had a terrible feeling.
Later on, Hermione started to go on regular dates with Bill, her mood was slightly brightening, but she only thought Bill was taking her out because he noticed how lost she was.
Hermione made up her mind, she knew how to die. She knew how she could see her friends once more. Slipping into the bathtub, filling it full of water. She grabbed her razor and slit two deep cuts into her skin. She laid her arms down in the water, sinking down and relaxing as blood poured from her veins and stained the water. She felt herself getting weaker, soon...soon she would see them again.
Bill was walking up the stairs of The Burrow to look for Hermione, a horrid gut wrenching feeling was tearing into him. He walked past the loo, catching the scent of blood. And not just anyone's blood, but Hermiones. He went to the door and started to knock on it, yelling through the door. When she didn't answer he kicked the door down and ran into the loo. The sight he saw, of his mate in a pool of blood and water. Her eye's closed and lifeless. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her out of the water. He healed her sounds, wrapped a towel around her and apparated her to St. Mungo's.
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Hermione didn't know where she was, or why she didn't see her friends smiling face's. Everything was dark, black, empty. "Is this hell?" She asked herself, she was alone and she was lost.
Bill sat beside her hospital bed, her hand in his "Come back to me, love. Come back." He whispered. Tears stained his face.
Still standing in the darkness, Hermione started to hear someone calling for her. She smiled and thought maybe it was her brother or Ron maybe even Fred. She started to run to the voice…
Her eye's opened. "Harry?" She breathed out.
"No, love. It's Bill."
Hermione blinked a couple times, looking at Bill. Tears began to rain down her pale face. "Why?" She chocked out.
"Why what, love?"
"Why did you save me, I wanted to die. Why?" She sobbed.
"Oh, baby." Bill leaned in and hugged her tight. "Don't say things like that, please. Please don't leave me. Please stay with me, my mate."
"Mate?" Asked Hermione