I had to rewrite this to explain it better. An Author named queefqueen wrote a one shot in response to a work by Joan Of Arc called Truth and Lies. I read both.
While in Joan's story ,The Starks are stripped of their status in the North .
In the process of the story King Robert had Ned and Jon beaten badly, and he raped Caitlyn to humiliate Ned .
It was a sad shit show for any Stark fan like me .
Fat king Robert was in character , molester ,glutton and violent.
It was and bad enough. Worse, it was well written , as Joan of Arc is a good writer. Queefqueen is as well actually.
Still its grim dark as is the Game of Thrones . Queen Queef had fat King Robert decapitate Ned ,Jon and Caitlyn! I kid you not
I was enraged at King Robert raping Catelyn Stark to begin with but the decapitations OMG ! . Joan's story and queefqueen's one shot both stressed me out
I lost sleep over the rape and the beheadings alone .
Yeah stories when well written touch my emotions for the good and bad .
queefqueen told a reviewer that she actually thought her story humorous.
(shakes my head.) I along with many others don't think it's funny at all !
I don't know queefqueen .Maybe she will read this .
I left a review on her story stating that I would like to whoop King Robert's ass.
I never attack a writer only the characters within a story they create .
I was so outraged, I wrote in haste .
This is a re-write with a prolog, then the rest of this one shot will be the meat of my response.
I was a wrestling fan for decades so it's easy for me to write using this angle. Old Gods are vague so I can have fun with them .
Lets peek at the aftermath of queefqueens one shot.
To quote Michael buffer !LETS GET READY TO RUUMBLLLLLLE!"
-Prolog - The Old Gods are actually highly empowered god-like humans that have remained silent for thousands of years.
Each of the different old gods have chosen one ability above the many which they already have to sharpen and perfect their abilities as a whole.
They agreed to stay out of the primitive human's lives so that they would progress naturally .
The first long night they did empower some humans .
Those whom they powered up were the heroes that fought the Great other during the so called 'Age of Heroes.'
Bran The Builder was given excessive wisdom unlike any other human in his day .
He worked with Children of the forest , fellow Northmen , Giants and mammoths to build the Wall.
He placed runes made by the Children of the forest within the ice so it would magically hold together.
The old gods knew two things ;The Night king embodied the great other the second thing was that to stop him Jon Snow ,Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen needed to work together.
Now Jon was dead.
Now the world was in more danger. King robert put the world in peril but the old gods did not stop him.
-the meat of the chapter well done and savory-
The Old Gods Main Council , called the Council of Wardens, just watched it all happen and among themselves are speechless.
One of them breaks the silence "Well what can we do the patty has become the rice , they are dead."
Ultra Warden ,the oldest and most powerful looked at her colleagues and said one word "Justice" .
She had a twinkle in her eye.
Another said "I am sorry to say this but It was Lord Eddard's fault ."
The Ultra Warden said "The Starks ,faults that they have, though they are legion were the best hope against the Other. Jon Snow in particular is a bad loss and it wasn't even the poor lad's fault . Need I remind you that their loss effects all humanity . Evil man that King Robert ,ignorant of the Great other he played right into his hands. King robert violently and selfishly put the world in great peril."
Then another said "What can we do?"
The Ultra Warden said with a wry smile said "We are godlike are we not? The creator gave us this world and so far we have done little for fear of doing damage to ignorant and primitive people .Not any more.
You , Warden of rebirth for growth and regeneration get to work with the Time Wardeness and turn back time to a week before King Robert goes hunting ."
She nodded and went over to a giant round clock .She took a long magnetic stick, hands from the clock grabbed it and she forced back with all her strength ,she turned back the hands of time itself.
Ultra Warden pointed to another," Warden of regeneration empower the Starks .Give each of their bodies super healing and regenerative ability. It is about time we heal poor Lord stark of PSTD! That condition has blinded him and hindered him from being a true King of Winter. I also need you to allow him time to grieve that he never got before."
The Warden of healing and regeneration covered in ivy nodded and turned invisible to the naked eye and flew to Winterfell.
Ultra Wardeness haad a bright gold aura and white comfy robe with Weirwood tree leaves embroidered in the fabric making it red then white ,alternating in those had black hair and red eyes. She pointed to her friend and second chair in the council. Her friend had a longs overcoat with big pockets ,a collar pulled up ,a fedora hat and thick sunglasses.
" Wardeness of secrets you show Catelyn Stark who Jon Snow really is ,compel her to keep that secret as well. Make her want to include him in the family, remind her she is a Tully where it counts, Jon Snow will be her nephew .Family Duty Honor."
Wardeness of Secrets asked Ultra Wardeness "What will you do?"
Ultra Wardeness said "I will make sure Jon Arryn has a deeper love for The Starks and by extension look upon Jon Snow as a dear son . Much more Jon Arryn won't die this time ."
Ultra Wardeness smiled "As for her Warden of Defense she will make sure Joffery will meet an untimely accident. A chain of events will follow. Cersei will accidently be poisoned by Lysa Arryn and that will be traced to Armory Lorch . Littlefinger will be driven mad in the black cells confessing to everything he ever did . Lysa Arryn will be divorced and sent to the Silent Sisters. Armory Lorch will be apprehended ,subdued and sent to Dorne for trial at the hands of the Martels. "
Wardeness of Secrets "I see that smile of yours , there is even more .You have not told me what we will do with evil King Robert."
Ultra Wardeness "I have plans , I recorded the events on a crude video tape made by humans . I have clothes for us to wear she sang a verse from an old rock song by ELO ' Come and go with me to the land of make believe where lamma- lamma- lamma rock and roll is king . 'Oh King Robert will get Justice. "
She laughed as she held up two WWE Tickets . "That sick twisted evil King will meet his end .We shall have front row seats to see it all ."
- The two powerful Wardens' wore , white dresses ,white-blouses with heart tree emblazoned on front .In red letters Kiss my Weirwood. Sporting comfy socks and pink tennis shoes and they looked like pretty , shapely women in their 40s .
-Justice -
King Robert was half drunk , as he staggered into a strange light and disappeared .Rumors were spread that he was traveling to Winterfell .
The Kings Guards were dumbfounded . They found his horse feeding on grass but no King anywhere
The first one said to the second one "Now we are nothing more than a band on the run ,if we don't find our king. "
They had no idea that he was gone for good ,they could search forever more but never find him.
The auditorium was packed with wrestling fans .Cameras were rolling ,air conditioning was cutting through the stale warmth everywhere .
Just before the main event the spot light focused in ring. Mean Gene Okerlund sat in the ring with two microphones.
Across from him Sits Robert Baratheon looking confused ,he belched and scratched his fat ass.
"Fans I have as my guest the man who will face the Undertaker tonight. He comes from some town called Westeros he is King Robert Baratheon."
King Robert had wrestling boots, his trousers were too warm, his gambeson and cloak made him itch. He looked around he could barely see the fans which booed and jeered him.
The way he looked reminded Mean Gene Okerlund of Abdullah The Butcher ,he was fat like that .
King robert was few feet taller at 6 foot 5, but twice as blubbery.
"King Robert it says here you are known as the 'decapitator' and 'The Demon of the Trident ' what say you?"
Mean Gene handed the King the microphone.
King Robert took it , looked at Mean Gene Okerlund saw how it was used he yelled at Mean Gene ."WHAT the bloody hell is going on. Where are my guards who are you where in the seven hells am I ?"
The Ultra Warden and her bff the Warden of Secrets, she sat at ringside watching ,smiling ,munching on popcorn and drinking coke.
Mean Gene Okerlund said "You are in New York City in Madison Square Gardens ,there are thousands fans in this capacity crowd who paid to watch you fight The Undertaker live . I asked you why do they call you the -"
Mean Gene pauses tapped his headphone -"Ok are you sure ?"
He looked around shrugged. "Fans watch the Titan-Tron Screens."
The Screen showed the decapitation of Caitlyn , Ned and Jon by order of King Robert .They watched with horror as they saw King Robert sneer at each as they were killed.
The fans were quiet at first then after the tape recording was seen they nearly rioted .The chaos lasted 15 minutes. Mean Gene Okerlund threw down his mic ,glared at King Robert and left the ring .
King Robert scowled and called them 'lowlife cunts'.
Vince McMahon called his lawyers to make certain he could not be sued by angry parents over the graphic images shown on the TV .
He then called New York's finest. He told them to come to the arena.
Fans could hear the Undertakers' theme music and began to sit in their seats.
He was lead to the ring by Paul Bearer.
The cheers were now deafening the noise shaking the rafters .
The Announcer could not be heard but the fans knew who would fight in the Hell in The Cell match.
They knew that the winner wold be the last man standing in the ring . The undertaker stepped foot in the ring and was given real invulnerability by Ultra Wardeness temporarily for this match alone.
The cage was lowered as The King watched it and ducked then when it clicked in place ,King Robert sneered at the Undertaker.
King Robert knew two things. The fans hated him and his deeds in Winterfell were witnessed by a mass of angry fans who he thought were small folk.
He wondered ,Could these be Northerners ?
Will I have to quell a bloody rebellion in the North? He sneered at them as he had those thoughts .
The bell rang .
To King Robert this was war and he would kill this tall commoner . King Robert ran at the Undertaker albeit slowly, his weight and age took away his speed.
King Robert clobbered The Undertaker in the face several times ,each time The ' Phenom' backed towards the cage wall.
King Robert shouted "GODS DAMN YOU FALL !"The King ran at him.
The Undertaker met him with his boot to fat king Robert's face. fat king fell then 'The Phenom 'pulled the fat king up.
Collar elbow lock ,Undertaker head butted King Robert right in the nose fracturing it ,blood squirted everywhere King Robert fell on his ass once again.
The Undertaker said "You murdered a woman in front of her children ,what kind of an damn animal are you ?
Undertaker ran his thumb across his throat and said in is loud bassy voice ," You will RREEEEEEEEEST INNNNN PIEEEEECE!"
The fans heard and cheered wildly.
King Robert staggered to his feet swinging at the air hitting nothing, fans laughed and Undertaker grabbed him by the neck and choke slammed him.
Wrestlers slowly gathered at ringside to watch the and faces both glaring at Fat King Robert and cheering on the Undertaker.
So were police at ringside waiting as the watched the match.
Undertaker then grabbed fat King Robert by the beard and pulled him to his feet as King Robert hollered and cussed and belly to bally suplexed him !
The fat king went flying against hitting the cage hard ,the whole cage shook.
The force of it caused the top to collapse down and swung in. As King Robert was on his knees it hit him squared in the forehead ,more blood. King Robert was on his face in a pool of his own blood,unconscious.
Undertaker picked up King Robert hoisted him on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried him all the way up to the very top of the cage . He stood tall on the edge well balanced and leaped off . The Undertaker Tombstone pile drove Robert Baratheon on the matt !
The fans chanted HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT some chanted ECW ECW ECW !
King Robert did not get up. The bell rang and the fans cheered as The undertaker had his hand raised.
The police went to the ring to arrest King Robert but he was dead , his neck was broken ,fractured with bones protruding .
One cop said to the other "Looks like the WWE saved us tax dollars . The murdering fat man is dead."
The other cop said "What a nut , I'm glad he is off the streets huh ?"
Coroner took the body away to be cremated.
Back to the Weirwood trees the two old gods had signed posters ,memorabilia , a picture of each of them atop the Statue of Liberty and they had action figures of the whole WWE roster as souvenirs.
Wardeness of Secrets 'That was fun and justice was served was it not?"
Ultra Wardeness" Indeed one change to the north ,the frozen soil will yield a healthy ,hearty crop of maize every year for pop corn .
Popcorn was so good, it is our gift to our people ?
Sure and we must let the people know how to make it too ,we may just visit Winterfell once again ."
The two old gods giggled -aftermath -
The realm was at peace ,good King Tommen was in power .Stannis was made to see him as his good nephew. Stannis was his hand.
Daenerys agreed to be betrothed to Jon Stark who was legitimatized by decree of King Tommen.
Daenerys sailed to the North with 8 growing baby dragons the size of ponies.
Ultra Wardeness made sure each dragon will choose a rider among the Starks in addition to Dany.
Myrcella was betrothed to the man she had a crush on, Robb Stark.
Sansa was Betrothed to young Oliver Frey ,one of the good Freys. ( BTW If a Frey cooked rice would it be 'Freyed rice'?)
Arya was having fun with a young smith named Gendry .
The ream was unified and ready for the long Night in every way.