Title: Insta Famous
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,620
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or Instagram.
Summary: Robin reluctantly agreed to let Cyborg and Beast Boy start a Teen Titan's Instagram page. This may have been one of his graver mistakes. Humorous oneshot RobStar
TTTTTTTTTTTTT
"This just doesn't seem like a good idea," Robin shook his head disapprovingly.
"Come on man, it's harmless." Cyborg insisted.
"Think about it, Cyborg. There are so many ways in which having a social media presence creates more problems than it has benefits." Robin stated flatly.
"You're just worried about people sliding into Star's DMs" Cyborg teased raising a challenging eyebrow at the shorter man.
"What is a DM? And I do not see how a photo based social media platform allows for the action of sliding." Starfire puzzled joining the conversation.
"And that is nothing you need to worry about, because this is not happening." Robin brushed her confusion off.
"Aw, but come on man…" Beast Boy whined.
"You could accidentally give out information about our location, or the layout of the tower, or clues about our security system, or details about what our current leads are. Too many things could go wrong. My final answer is no." Robin lectured the team admonishingly.
"Okay, so maybe we don't all get our own Instagram accounts, despite the fact that we totally know I'd have more followers than BB, maybe we should just have a team one? The Teen Titan's really should have some social media presence...and this way we can all evaluate the photos before anything is allowed to be publicly posted." Cyborg appealed.
"It would give us some good PR," Beast Boy added.
"Why are you so set on trying to gain Instagram notoriety?" Robin redirected the conversation to avoid acquiescing their case.
"Come on man, the rest of the team wants it. A little bit of clout never hurt and we could get sponsorship...think about the awesome kickbacks!" Cyborg insisted.
"Plus Kid Flash has an Instagram." Beast Boy supplemented the support.
"My answer is still no. You're not thinking about this logically. What happens when you get comments from a grieved family whose kid you couldn't save in time? Are the sponsorship really worth it then?" Robin made a somber point. "We're in the media enough, at least we don't have to see the depressing side of things unless we go searching for it."
"I think we can handle it. And you don't have to be included if that's what you're worried about. We can also exclude Star if that'll make you feel better. It'll just be BB, Rae, and I then." Cyborg counterclaimed.
"Leave me out of this." Raven spoke looking up from her book at the edge of the couch.
"And include me, please. Though I do not understand the clout or the sliding of the DMs I love the idea of a photo array. I would be much intrigued to see the opinion's of the public on my collection of fungal photos." Starfire beamed.
"Yep, Star's definitely out." Beast Boy groaned.
"And no one is sliding into your DMs, Starfire." Robin grumbled agitated.
"Yeah...you do enough slidin' anyway." Cyborg goaded the leader.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin irritably snapped.
"It means we aren't stupid, bird boy. You're not exactly stealthy at sneaking into Starfire's room after hours." Cyborg challenged.
"That's none of your business." Robin contended.
"It's none of the world's business, but I reckon you sleeping with a teammate counts as team business." Cyborg confronted.
"I don't see how that affects your life." Robin griped.
"Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you don't get to make all the decisions for the team when your own judgment could be called into question." Cyborg breezily argued.
"You're really throwing all this in my face so you can get an Instagram account?" Robin snapped.
"Is it working?" Beast Boy piped up.
"Fine, whatever. Get the account, but you have to run all posted photos by me first." Robin caved retreating to his room. "I will not have you compromising the safety of my team for a little bit of fame."
"More like, he just doesn't want anyone lookin' at his girlfriend." Cyborg muttered to Beast Boy.
TTTTTTTTTTTT
A month later….
"Robin is going to have your heads for this." Raven deadpanned with a slight smirk to her voice.
"Have their heads for what?" Robin asked entering the ops room where the rest of the team was gathered.
"It appears people would like me to be sponsored by aubergines," Starfire answered in confusion. "This is a positive, yes? 10,000 people have commented the little emoji on the photo Cyborg and Beast Boy shared of me on the social media platform."
"What photo?" Robin turned menacingly towards the quiet duo with a suspicious glare.
"Oh, well, you know…we were close to a million followers so we figured we'd just share a picture of Starfire to bump up our following a bit. And it worked...we have over 2 million followers now." Cyborg nervously attempted a distraction.
"And what picture of Starfire did you share that warrants 10,000 eggplant emojis?" Robin's face had darkened into a murderous scowl.
"Oh, uh, funny story...We may have forgotten to approve this one, but Starfire was okay with it, so no biggie, right?" Beast Boy anxiously insisted.
"And I think a vegetable would be quite a fun thing to be sponsored by. After all, Cyborg is sponsored by the butcher shop and Beast Boy is sponsored by the tofu." Starfire chimed in positively.
Robin shot an angry glare at Beast Boy and Cyborg before turning as calmly as he could to Starfire.
"You're not sponsored by eggplants, Star. Emojis are like slang; some of them mean things other than the objects they appear to be. Eggplants, for some stupid reason, became synonymous with male reproductive anatomy. People are saying they want to show you their anatomy when they send that emoji." Robin explained flatly.
"Would not another emoji be more anatomically accurate?" Starfire asked grabbing the tablet off the table to assess the emoji keyboard in attempts to find a better phallic emoji to prove her point.
"Maybe we don't need to answer that question." Raven mercifully declared, telepathically moving the tablet from Starfire's hands and into Robin's. "I don't think the degree to which the emoji resembles its slang interpretation was really the issue here."
"Oh, it is that men are declaring their desired intents? I do not see how that is a problem. I have no obligation to respond to any of them and no interest in doing so. I am sufficiently satisfied with what I have, so their decrees are moot." Starfire pondered aloud.
Beast Boy and Cyborg exchanged raucous, teasing laughter.
"Hear that boy blunder, your eggplant is 'sufficient'" Cyborg taunted.
"You guys might want to stop is. He still hasn't seen the photo and you're probably still dead men walking." Raven reminded cautiously.
"Right…" Beast Boy eeped out in response quickly ceasing his laughter.
As he had been reminded, Robin opened the Instagram app to check the photo Cyborg and Beast Boy had shared of Starfire. For all he knew they could have shared a perfectly normal photo of her and people responded poorly because it's the internet…But they didn't.
"You shared a fucking biking picture of her? 'Sunshine and tan lines'" Robin fumed at the duo while reading the caption, "You know she doesn't even get tan lines, right?"
"Weird overshare, Rob." Cyborg smirked challenging Robin's rage with mirth.
"We'll delete the photo...It's just, Star didn't have a problem with it, and it definitely meant we'd get new followers…" Beast Boy whined in attempted explanation caving into Robin's anger.
"Is there something wrong with the way I look?" Starfire asked curiously with a hurt tinged voice.
"No, not at all Star; you're gorgeous. The internet is just full of gross people and these two idiots knowingly didn't protect you from that, or even bother to explain that to you ahead of time to at least give you an ability to make a more informed choice on the matter. Instead they used you for clickbait." Robin replied cautiously.
"We're sorry…." Beast Boy and Cyborg groveled to Starfire.
"You both get additional early training for the next month, you have to delete the photo, and if I ever find out you guys are using my girlfriend as a thirst trap for Instagram likes again, you will be temporarily reassigned to the worst possible postings in the entire network." Robin directed bitterly.
Cyborg and Beast Boy sulked off to the gym to begin their punishment training, and everything was fine until later that week when the immature duo posted a photo of Raven, and Robin let her punish them as she wished. Granted Beast Boy and Cyborg's Instagram photos from the nine circles of hell gave them unique content for their followers.
#Wanderlust?
TTTTTTTTTT
Today's story exists because I wanted to give you all something this week, but it had to be a quick bit of nonsense since I don't have time to flesh out the next chapter of Covert Courting until next week (it's story boarded, just needs details and I don't want to rush it so two weeks from now that'll be up), and the chapter I was intending to get out this week for Various Villains is currently sitting at 6,000+ words and still needs a conclusion and editing (look for that next week; it wasn't meant to be a bear, it just kind of took off).
Hope you enjoyed a trip into my nonsense, ADHD mind for another plot line gone sideways.
Review if you'd like – I always appreciate hearing from you guys!
-FWFT