Authors note: I started this after missing Naya and needing an outlet to write down some of my own experiences. Most of this is fiction, but I influence myself into the story a lot. I never really planned on publishing it, but thought why not? It's my first try at a fan fiction in years, so forgive my tendency to change tenses and such. Bad writing habit. Anyways, enjoy...

Story is as if Glee seasons 4-6 never happened. Also, a couple plot changes and personality changes. Just for fun!

Also, I own no Glee characters or storylines. Apparently that's important to say

Chapter 1

Quinn's POV

"Hey Quinn I grabbed the mail, there's something addressed to you" I heard my roommate, Lennon, from the apartment entryway lock the door and enter with hands full of groceries. She sets it all down on the kitchen island and hands me the mail.

"Oh thanks Len, do you need any help with more bags?" I offer as I glance at the bright red envelope with white lettering in the mail stack. I don't even have to open it to know what it is; it's the invitation to McKinley's class of 2012 five-year high school reunion, dated for 5 months from now.

"Nope, this is all of it, thanks! Whatcha got there, you look like you've seen a ghost Q?"

I took a deep sigh and buried my head in my arms on the island and toss the invite over to Lennon before replying, "Might as well have, I have tried not to think too much about high school since I moved here. Things I never really got closure with."

My mind wanders to Santana. God I miss her. I'm sick of feeling worried about her, I just want to be around her again. A few years ago, I even heard that Santana's parents weren't even sure where she was. She completely checked out.

"Isn't that what reunions are for? To see the people who screwed you over in the past to show them that you came out better than before?"

I laugh because I wish that was why the invite elicited my reaction. "It's not that, I actually had really amazing friends in high school. We all swore we would stay in touch, but I didn't do my part in that too well I'm afraid."

I have always been a little bit angry at Santana for letting whatever happened with Britt get in the way of saying a proper goodbye before college. Had I known that I wouldn't see Santana for 5 years, I would have pushed past Mrs. Lopez at her front door and barged into Santana's room to make sure my friend was okay. Instead, I let Mrs. Lopez send me away with the excuse that Santana was sleeping. I was too polite to disrespect her. I wish Santana let some of us in to what was going on. I just always felt a pull to Santana and it was really painful when she cut that off.

"Have you stayed in touch with anybody?" Lennon hardly knows anything about my past. Ive pretty much remained guarded and unwilling to talk about it. There was something about the way I was showing a little extra vulnerability in this moment apparently made Lennon curious enough to ask questions. Whatever, I should probably talk about all this with someone anyways.

"I talk to my friend Rachel every once in a while. Most of the time our conversations fall to our other friend, Santana, who has literally not been seen or heard from since some mysterious fallout between her and her girlfriend...that was 5 years ago." Lennon gasps, "oh, there's also Puck, who I feel obligated to keep in touch with because of the whole...baby daddy thing."

Lennon almost spit up her gulp of water when I said that, "excuse me, baby daddy?"

I throw my head back laughing, "We really haven't talked about my past have we?" I motion towards the couch, "Sit, I have many fun stories."

Lennon listened intently as I rehashed my entire high school experience; Finn and the hot tub story, Puck and Beth, Glee Club, Sue Sylvester's wrath, my brief stint with hot pink hair, and of course, the bond with the Unholy Trinity.

Reminiscing feels kind of nice, "it's really weird talking about all of this again. I have been so focused on getting my degree and moving in that I haven't taken the time to look back on any of this, except Beth of course. I think about her every second of everyday"

I chuckle to myself when I look at Lennon and see the completely shell shocked look she still has. When she finally gathers her words I'm deep in my own thoughts again."I have never heard a more insane high school story in my life."

"I know right? Like what kind of high school did I fucking go too?" We both get a good laugh at that.

"But you know Quinn, I wouldn't have judged you if you had told me all this before, you know that right?"

I nod, "I appreciate that, really. It wasn't because I don't trust you, I do! I'll be honest, it just hasn't felt right talking about my past life when such a big part of it is missing and nobody has any idea how to find her." I really do think about Santana a lot. Yes, we fought like crazy and had clashing personalities some times, but I could always see the soft side of Santana. She put up walls to protect herself, it was obvious. It's exactly what Santana is doing now, putting up walls to separate herself from what hurt her heart. Unfortunately, the glee clubbers are probably her biggest trigger for remembering her almost-life with Brittany.

"so this Santana chick, she really has cut off everybody you guys knew back then? Have you thought about searching for her?" I pondered the questions for a bit. There is a lot of emotions to unpack, mostly because I have learned a lot about myself since leaving Lima. One being, I'm definitely sexually attracted to women. I also knew that adulthood could have only done Santana wonders…she was insanely beautiful in high school. In hindsight, I think that the spouts with Santana were probably just a deep seeded crush that I wasn't ready to admit. After that thought came into my head, I couldn't let it go. It just made too much sense. None of the guys I ever had been with made me feel turned on. "hello, earth to Quinn"

I shook myself out of my thoughts, "Sorry L, um honestly, hell yeah I've thought about looking for her. I always end up backing out and convincing myself that she obviously doesn't want to be found. I'm too scared to get rejected if I reach out."

"You really think she would do that? If you guys were as close as you say, I feel like she would love to see you after all this time. It wasn't you who broke her heart."

I want her to be right...enough that I'm going to convince myself of just that fact. "You're right Len, I'm going to find her. Five years is long enough. If anybody needs closure, it has got to be that girl."

Lennon smiled at me. We have been roommates for three years after meeting in our sophomore literature class. We have never been the type of friends to have heart to hearts. I' pretty guarded with my emotions. Lennon, well, she unapologetically loves the life she lives and doesn't feel the need to fill people in on her days. "that's a really good idea Quinn, you will be the hero that gets the band back together, like NSYNC reuniting on SNL!"

I laugh at the comparison, but my thoughts about Santana distract me again. I try and imagine how it could all go down when I see Santana again. I could find Santana in a fancy beach house in Malibu or living on the streets of Philly; there really is no way of knowing. I didn't even know how Santana was doing in the Summer of 2012 and now in 2017, I know even less.

Lennon pats me in the knee, "Alrighty Q it's getting late. I'm going to get ready for bed. Let me know if you need any help on this treasure hunt, okay? Goodnight."

"Goodnight Len, thanks for the chat."

--

After my conversation with Lennon, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Santana. What is she doing right now? Has she been traveling? Is she okay? Does she think about us ever? Even though I was told that her parents didn't even know where she was, I decided that the only logical place to start my search was to call Maribel Lopez. There's no way she would let her daughter go 5 years without contact. She HAS to know.

I waited anxiously as the phone rang. It took about 5 rings until I heard a voice.

"Hello?"

I cleared my throat, "Mrs. Lopez? This is Quinn Fabray, I don't know if you rem—"

Maribel cut her off because of course she remembers the beautiful blonde, "oh my gosh Quinn? How are you?"

"I'm find Mrs. Lopez thanks for asking, I'm actually calling on a mission. I'm really hoping that you can tell me how to find Santana?"

There was a pause on the other line. I was getting really nervous; does she actually not know where she is? Am I really going to have to go all detective mode to find my friend? "Hello? Are you still there Mrs. Lopez?"

"I'm sorry Quinn, I'm still here. I guess I should've expected this call eventually. I actually do know where Santana is, and she may kill me for even telling you that much. She has had a really rough couple of years. I've been begging her to reconnect with you all for months. It has been a long time, way too long. She made me promise to keep her privacy…" I held my breath as Mrs. Lopez hesitated," but I just don't think that's the right thing for her anymore."

I was stunned. What has been going on since high school that has made Santana need to refuse to see her friends? We've always been the most accepting and understanding group.

"Mrs. L, I can't even begin to imagine what Santana has gone through in our time apart. But I miss her and think about her all the time. I really need to see for myself that she's okay. I want to be a real friend to her, a better one than I was in high school."

Maribel sighed, "I wish I could tell you that she is okay, but the truth is that she hasn't been okay, well in literally ever. She could use a friend like you in her life right now. Mhhh okay I'm going to send you her work address. Maybe you can get through to her. She will hate me for a while but I have a good feeling about you."

I smile and do a little dance to myself. I'm so excited to see her, "Thank you so much Mrs. L. Santana has always meant a lot to me."

"I'm really glad you're doing this. Santana has always needed you."

After hanging up with Maribel, I was beaming. I had found her. All it took was one phone call and I had found her. AND she's in New York, only a train ride away. But then I thought back to was Mrs. Lopez had said; that she has never been okay. I have no idea what that means. Santana has always been the strongest and toughest person I knew. Maribel made her sound broken and fragile. I had no clue what to expect, but that wasn't going to stop me. I was going to find Santana this weekend, only 2 days away.