The year was 1944 when James Buchanan Barnes stood at the doorway holding a sad and wilting bouquet of flowers. It was raining outside, he was soaking through his worn military uniform. The door softly opened and a short and mousey girl peered through the crack. When she saw it was Bucky she swung the door the rest of the way and embraced him tightly with a sob. He clutched the girl with tired arms, the flowers crumbling in his hand.
Bucky had been desperately in love with her sister and upon arriving home he received news of her tragic death with her parents in a car crash, leaving poor little Helene St. Dennis all alone in their small New York apartment. He remembered Steve and other cohorts telling him what he should do, the right thing to do.
Marry the girl. Give her yourself as family, your military earnings would help her survive and you would bring her comfort when you came home.
Bucky decided he would do just that, marry Helene. That's what her sister, Ethel, would have wanted.
Bucky helped Helene into the warm apartment, he sat her down on the couch and explained his desire to marry her.
Helene had only just turned 18 a month prior to James' visit. She had not expected to see him ever again. She had graduated high school and was planning on going to the community college to become a teacher. She had not even considered marriage, believing she would be alone after her family's sudden death.
Bucky got down on one knee in front of her after explaining his reasoning. He held a delicate gold band with three small diamonds resting in the center. He slid it on her petit hand, looking up into her face with an unsure smile. Helene laughed and embraced him in a strange sense of relief. Love would come later, he assured her.
That was almost 75 years ago, but it felt as if it was just a few months gone. The wedding ring still sat on her finger clinging onto its luster. She sat outside with her face in her hands. Tears were streaming down her arms, her chest heaved. Tony Stark was sitting beside her with his large hand on her back. He hadn't planned on telling her Bucky Barnes was alive, but Steve felt it was an obligation, so he went behind Tony's back to tell her the truth.
The three of them; Tony, Steve, and Helene, had just landed in Wakanda. Inside a large beautiful stone building was her supposedly dead husband. She barely knew him before he was declared missing, but she had clung to the idea of Bucky for so long something broke in her when she knew she was only a few yards from him.
"Come on hun, we should get you inside, there is a lot of catching up that needs to be done," Tony grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Steve stood a little aways from them, not wanting to make things worse.
Steve had decided to break the news to Helene after they had kissed several nights ago. He had felt guilty because he knew he was falling hard for her and all with the knowledge that Bucky was still alive. It felt wrong knowing that Helene still declared herself as married.
Helene was wearing an emerald silky summer romper that left her arms bare and hung just above her knees. She was shaking from the anxiety of seeing her old friend. As the doors swung open, Helene stiffened. James Buchanan Barnes sat reading a book held in his new arm that the Wakandans had gifted him. A sob escaped her and she clutched her mouth. Bucky swung his head, and his eyes widened. Quickly he rose to his feet and he practically jumped over his chair.
Bucky saw her eyes bare into his new arm and he quickly pulled a jacket on to cover it. Helene steadily walked towards him with a tear-stained face. She slung her arms over his shoulders and pulled him closer, crying into his chest.
"I thought you were dead, Helene," Bucky choked out. Then he felt red hot anger boiling in his stomach. He pushed it down, knowing he would discuss it when everyone got settled in for the night. "How, how are you here?"
"HYDRA," was the only word she managed to say.
Helene had been placed in a room connected to Bucky's, she passed out the minute her head hit the pillow. Bucky had assured her that her rest was more important and that they would talk more when she felt better. In the meantime, the three men were gathered in Bucky's small kitchen.
"She was alive this whole time? You never once thought to bring it up for the entirety you've seen me? What the fuck Steve," he practically growled. Steve didn't dare speak up about the curse word.
"We weren't sure how you would have reacted towards her," Tony clarified. "You were still coming down from your super-soldier high for most of your time and the other part you were in hiding. What would you have had us do? Risk her life on the chance HYDRA might have brainwashed you to kill her on-site?"
Bucky shook his head, his long strands of hair catching in his scruff. There was a gentle sigh from Bucky's room which helped him collect his thoughts. "How is she still the same age? Where has she been, how is she doing?"
"She has been teaching English in some of the high schools around the east coast in the US. She's been under the careful watch of SHIELD since she was taken back from HYDRA," Tony assured Bucky.
"Why did HYDRA have her? Why didn't I know they did?"
"They injected her with a unique serum. She can't die. She isn't like us Bucky," Steve said in a jumble of frustration, "all they did was prevent her from dying of torture, it's why she still looks 18, she can't age at all. They made her indestructible so that they could torture her in front of the Winter Soldier to hurt you more. Stark's dad made sure she was rescued before the torture could actually start, but the serum had already taken effect. We aren't sure why HYDRA never told you."
Pain, Bucky only felt hot searing pain at that moment, he struggled to get his words out. "Then why did you tell her I was alive, after all the things I've done? Once she finds out she will only think of me as a monster."
Steve put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. He held an earnest smile, "Buck, it will be okay. Let her decide for herself. She isn't as fragile as she once was, she has been alive as long as we have, she is pretty tough."
"We were only married for a few weeks before I had to ship back out, why would she come back to me after all this time? Why not marry someone else? Start a family at least?"
"Why bother when you will outlive them," Tony asked, "besides she has clung onto you for almost 80 years, I'd say she is good old fashioned waiting for her soldier to come home." Tony and Steve's eyes met, a silent exchange was made.
Steve had been pinning for Helene ever since she was at his bedside when he woke from his coma after being pulled from the ice. SHEILD felt their investment in Helene paid off when she was there to help Steve transition to the 21st century. He never felt wrong about his intentions until SHIELD learned Bucky was alive. To Steve, Helene felt like home, she smelled like cinnamon and oranges, like a crisp fall evening. She sang like a bird and cooked the best home meals. He felt he had found the one, but that seemed far in the past now, too far to reach.
"Is our marriage still valid," Bucky looked to Tony.
"Yeah, that's what I was worried to bring up," he glanced at Steve again. "Helene and yourself have been declared dead since the 40s. So technically no, however, SHEILD could reinstate the marriage if you both decided that's you want to do. I figured you could sort that out with Helene tomorrow. I'm going to head to bed, why don't you catch up with Steve."
Captain America knew what Tony was getting at, he knew about his love for Bucky's wife. He was giving him a chance to see if Bucky wanted to back out of the marriage.
The two super soldiers sat on Bucky's front steps looking towards the golden sun as it faded into the peach horizon. They both held a beer in their hand, on any other occasion, they both might have smiles. They talked about anything and everything other than the woman who slept soundly inside. It was a small white cat that decided to rub against Bucky's legs that stirred them from their quiet conversation.
"Have you taken good care of her, Steve?" Bucky finally asked.
"I would like to think so, we uh, we moved in together a little while ago, before you showed up as the winter soldier in DC."
Bucky closed his eyes and rubbed his brow with his metallic hand. A deep sigh rumbled from his chest and he looked back at Steve. "Do you love her?"
Steve was afraid to answer, "We haven't slept together, I swear to God, James."
"Do you love her?" Bucky repeated.
"I was hoping to ask her to marry me a few months from now." Steve pulled out the ring his mother had worn. "I just couldn't work up the nerve because she still wears your ring."
Bucky closed his eyes, unable to think of what to say. He knew Steve meant well and was only doing what he thought was in Helene's best intentions. "Does she feel the same about you?"
"I don't know Buck, she doesn't talk about her feelings much. I think you should talk to her when she wakes up and,"
"I'm here," Helene cut Steve off, both men whirled around and gazed at the tired woman. Large red curls framed her face, her eyes were soft from her nap, and her romper clung to her pale legs. "Sergeant Barnes, would you care to give me a tour of this beautiful area? I saw fireflies off in the distance and I adored them when I was much younger." She held out her hand to Bucky.
He got up quickly and dusted himself off. He took her hand in his flesh one and they began their walk, leaving a very curious Steve Rogers behind.
"How are you doing Miss Dennis?" Bucky asked avoiding his last name to gauge her reaction.
She didn't say anything about the way he addressed her, merely keeping her eyes ahead as they walked along a dirt path leading to a grove of trees.
"I am doing better, thank you for allowing me to use your guest room to sleep. I'm afraid flying makes me quite tired, can't seem to sleep on the damned things no matter how smooth Tony assures me they are," she gave a small laugh and finally looked up at Bucky.
"What have you been up to all these years?"
"Oh, I teach high school English, like I wanted to when I was younger. I am also an author, I haven't written much now, but I'm starting to feel the itch to pick up the pencil again. I was in Egypt a lot last year helping teach English. The refugees there are very kind and willing to learn."
"So you've traveled a lot?"
"Well I speak 30 languages, I figured I would lose my fluency if I never spoke what I learned. I've visited most of the world. You can do a lot when you have lived as long as I have."
"Where has your favorite place been?" Bucky stopped to face her, taking both her hands in his.
"Belgium or perhaps Transilvania," she giggled to herself caught up in her memory of the location Bram Stoker based Dracula from.
"Where the vampires lived," Bucky gasped in pretend shock.
"Yes of course where they lived, how do you think I managed to live this long, I'm an immortal vampire of the night!"
They both laughed and fell into a comfortable silence.
"Where have you been James?" Her eyes seemed sad, her posture had shrunken and her hands tightened on his.
"Please Helene, call me Bucky. I've been dead as far as I'm concerned. I was a different person when I was with HYDRA."
"And you believe you are back to Bucky?"
"I'm," he paused, seeming uncertain again. "I'm not sure, I was hoping you could tell me."
"What were you and Steve talking about before I came onto the porch?" Helene dodged the question.
"Uh, erm, well, you. I was made aware by our good friend Tony that our marriage ended upon being declared as dead. Steve said you didn't know."
"Oh, I knew," Helene whispered, not daring to look up at the man before her.
"You knew? You waited for me?"
"I waited for someone named Sergeant Barnes, hoping he would find his way back to me. I think it should be you to decide if that's who you are. Perhaps rather than me deciding who to choose, you should figure out if you chose me."
"But I loved you."
"That was so long ago, and you barely knew me. I was only 18, you loved my sister." Helene's voice became harsh and she pulled from him. "You married me out of pity, I didn't know better then, when I was a child. I know I may look the same, but I am nowhere near as naive. I do agree with Tony that you should join us back in America, he has been itching to throw a party and you would be the perfect reason."
She began walking back when Bucky grabbed her shoulder. He pulled her into a kiss. Helene knew she was acting immature, but she had waited so long for this man. She gave in when he pulled her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. She barely noticed that they had made it into his bedroom. The door shut softly behind Bucky as he laid them both on the bed.
Helene had her hands deep in his long hair, scratch marks were sure to be present in the morning even with his super-soldier serum. Her romper was hiked around her thighs and Bucky's hand inched towards her core between her legs. She shuddered, letting out a long moan. They made eye contact and before Helene could say another word Bucky got undressed.
He stood back so Helene could look him over. She felt tears trickling down her red cheeks. He wasn't still Bucky, there was a part of the winter soldier that would always be with him while he had that metal arm. She stood up and placed both her hands on the appendage. She traced the metalwork down to his fingers. He squeezed her hands as if this were a normal encounter.
"I can't James. I can't sleep with you."
"Why?" Bucky asked worried, concerned that kissing her was the wrong move.
"It is as I was saying before. I waited for you, but I still don't know you. If what you are saying is true then maybe we shouldn't,"
Bucky cut her off quickly, coming back to hold her hands before she could back away too far.
"I want you to remain my wife. We don't have to officially renew our marriage, but please don't let me go. Helene, I haven't forgotten you. You were the one thing that kept me going while I was in HYDRA. I know it wasn't long, but I waited for you too. Once you walked in, I felt all our memories flood back."
Helene groaned, rubbing her eyes, smudging her makeup even more than the tears had. She now resembled a tired raccoon. Bucky knew he had gone too far with his words.
"Give me a break, Bucky. We were only together for a few weeks before you left. We only slept together the night before you were gone. I do love you, but you are different. Hell, I'm different. We're both pretty touch-deprived and familiar with each other. I held onto the words you first said to me all those years ago. You said love would come later. I am still willing to wait and work on it with you. But you need to understand I'm not the same girl I once was. Give me some time, Bucky. Come home with us, but give me some time. You need to understand I also have feelings for Steve and right now, I am very confused. Please give me some time."
Bucky felt it again, that blinding red rage boiling in his stomach. He used his metal arm to lean against the bedpost. His grip crushed the wood, practically mulching it.
"What did you expect, James? He has been taking care of me for the past 5 years. Where have you been?"
"That's not my fault." He hissed, turning away from her.
"I'm not saying it is you stubborn ass. It's neither of our faults that they kept you from me. It still doesn't change what Steve was doing for me, and how I felt unknowingly. I'm standing here with you, can't you see that?"
Helene started pulling her romper straps off her shoulders. Bucky winced and looked away. Helene pulled the romper top down to her waist, her chest was bare. She calmly strode towards Bucky, she took his hand and placed it just below her left breast. When he dared to look he saw a small tattoo just above where his hand rested on the warm skin.
It wasn't grand in design or large in shape. A small heart with 'H + B" and Barnes written out to be wrapped around the small drawing.
"It isn't much I know, but this is what I wanted. You and me, dark hair little kids running around while we sit on the porch with lemonade. You can still give me that. Just give me some time, please."
Bucky studied her face and nodded. He helped her dress and gave her a gentle kiss and tucked her into the spare bed.
"I'm sorry too," Bucky whispered to Helene while kneeling on the floor. "I just, I am feeling so much all at once. I'm feeling for both Bucky and the winter soldier. I feel this lust for you but the need to hold you. It feels like you weren't gone at all for some reason, my brain just skips to the part where I know you and you're my wife. I am just craving a stable relationship."
"I know what you mean," Helene sighed, closing her eyes, "just give us some time."
"Of course."