The limit
Chakotay was angry at his best friend and secret love. Voyager was in orbit of an alien planet and Chakotay had noticed the looks the leader of those aliens gave his captain. Looks of great interest and raw desire. Chakotay was getting protective and concerned he had told his CO that but she dismissed his concerns. She didn't seem affected or uncomfortable in the aliens presence and the commander had become more and more jealous. His jealousy had turned from easily controlled to barely controlled when the captain had begun spending nights down there. The captain had been snappy and easily angered since her first night and Chakotay got sick of it. Normally he would have been concerned and he would've noticed that she was hiding something but he got blinded by his feelings. He was currently thinking about her and imagined how this alien saw things he had longed to see for years. Suddenly the turbo lift doors opened and the captain stepped out. Everyone stopped their work and a few people gasped when they saw her appearance. She looked like hell, dark circles were under her eyes, her mascara was smudged, her hair was a little loose and her uniform was wrinkled. Her voice was raspy when she spoke: „At ease. Commander for a word. Tuvok you have the bridge."
Chakotay got even angrier and more jealous when he imagined how her appearance came to be but he followed her into the ready room. He noticed how stiffly she walked and spoke up when the doors closed:
„Long night Captain?" „You could say that. Well anyway I think we should resume our course to the alpha quadrant ASAP." „Why? Did you have a fall out with your lover." „Chakotay not now. I currently can't deal with this." „Just tell me why." „We need to get back on our course. We can't afford to lose more time." „I didn't mean that and you know it. Why Kathryn? Why him? Did you just want to have a few one night stands? If this was the only thing you ever wanted you could have just said so and I would have been there. " Chakotay looked at her. Pleading through his eyes with her to tell him that he was wrong. He only saw her captains mask in place, her eyes and face unreadable. What he didn't notice in his rage was the look of hurt that had crossed her features if only for a few seconds but her mask had faltered. He shook his head Kathryn knew that she had to leave the room right now if she wanted to keep her façade in place. So she didn't think twice stood up and went to her door. Just before she reached the doors Chakotay spoke in a voice she had never heard before: „Don't forget the party this evening. Everyone is coming. I just want you to know I am disappointed. I thought you were better than that."
This time Kathryns eyes filled with tears and she ran to the next turbo lift. She didn't care what the bridge crew thought but was thankful when she didn't encounter anyone else on her way to her quarters. Meanwhile Chakotay stepped onto a stunned bridge. Even Tuvok looked a bit shocked. Chakotay spit out: „Everyone back to work. Mr. Paris set a course to the alpha quadrant. We are resuming our way back to home."
Kathryns way home was a blur for her. Once inside she broke down crying out in pain. Physical pain but her heart hurt her more than anything else. She sat with her back against a bulkhead and asked desperately: ‚Why? Why me?'. She cried until there wasn't a single tear left. She sniffed and asked in a shaky voice: „Computer how long till the party?" „The party in the mess hall starts at 18:00. There is one hour left." Shit. How am I supposed to get ready in time?" „Please reform your question." „Ugh I wasn't talking to you." Kathryn was starting to get a panic attack and thought to herself: „Calm down Kathryn. You can't afford to lose anymore time. You need to get ready and heal yourself. Gather yourself! You are the god damn Captain of this vessel and you just have to face your crew. Make an appearance and then vanish. It can't be that hard to just be there." But a small voice in her head disagreed: „Chakotay will be there and he hates you. There will be many men that could harm you." At that thought Kathryn stopped everything. When had she started thinking that all men were like this alien. She was losing her mind, she had spent 4 years with this crew. One evening won't break her but then again she was already broken. She went into her bathroom and shrugged her uniform jacket off, then the turtle neck and the undershirt. Finally her trousers and then her underwear. She looked at herself and wondered: „When did I lose the spark in my eyes? When did I stop caring?" The answer came to her immediately: The first night on this god forsaken planet. She started panicking again but reminded herself that they were finally out of orbit. Safe and sound. Everything was alright. Voyager was in good shape and crew moral was okay. The only thing missing was the captain. Oh her physical form was there but she had lost her spirit. She took a closer look and saw the bruises on her neck, upper arms, thighs and breasts. Her wrists were red, a black eye started forming around her eye but the worst thing were the bloody marks on her back. Tears began to form again but she reminded herself why she had done that: for Voyager, her crew and Chakotay. What was one lost spirit against the lives of 150 people? She removed her makeup and covered the bruises on her face with a lot of foundation. She showered and put an emerald colored turtleneck with black trousers on. But the turtle neck didn't cover her entire neck so she put a thin scarf around it. She had chosen extra tight and thick clothes to feel saver. She also wore a thick undershirt so that the blood from her back didn't seep through.
She was one of the last to arrive in the mess hall. The minute she entered the room all eyes turned to her. She said with more confidence than she felt: „At ease." Everyone resumed their conversations and Neelix made his way over to her saying: „You look wonderful tonight Captain."
One hour had passed since the beginning of the party and Kathryn felt worse and worse. She started to get dizzy, her back ached and Chakotay was avoiding her like the pest. Many people noticed the sad look in the captains eyes and started to form conversations wit her. She wondered: What did I do to deserve such a wonderful crew?
B'Elanna noticed how miserable the captain really was and excused herself. She went to the corner in which the slightly drunk Commander stood. „What the heck did you say to her? I know the look in her eyes. She is pretty close to breaking down." „I really don't give a damn. She is a whore nothing else." The chief engineer slapped him as hard as she could right then and there. Every head turned including Kathryns who was currently talking to Sam and Neelix. Chakotay started to say something but B'Elanna slapped him harder and practically ordered: „I know you and you do care. Talk to her. Now!" Kathryn knew as the captain she had to say something but she was to stunned to even think. She started to say something when suddenly two people beamed right next to her. She recognized one man instantly and a shiver ran down her spine. Chakotay looked equally stunned. B'Elanna asked the question everyone except Kathryn, Chakotay and Tuvok was thinking: „Who are you and what are You doing here?" The minute she had spoken the doors swished open and a security team came in with phasers pointing at the intruders.
But before they had a chance to shoot the leader of the two grabbed Kathryn and pointed a weapon to her head saying: „Stay where you are and lower your weapons or precious Kathryn dies." The woman winced but growled: „What do you want? I did everything you wanted." „Did you really think I would let you go honey?" The entire crew was gaping right now. „The Klingon asked a question. Don't you want to tell them who I am." Kathryn spoke in a low voice: „This is Tyran. He is the leader of the aliens of the plant we were orbiting." „Am I nothing more to you darling? Just the leader of some aliens? I think your first officer has an idea as to who I am." Everyone looked expectedly at Chakotay who spat out: „You're her one night stand nothing more." The crew gasped and Kathryn nearly began to cry. Tyran spoke up again: „Oh but I am much more than that. First of all we spent 5 nights together not one and I think we have a deeper connection than that. Don't you think so Kathryn? I am not like a one night stand to you." Kathryn spoke under her breath: „No. You are the man that ruined me." „What was that love?" „Nothing." „I will let it slip this once. Just because I like you that much. Now tell them what you and I were doing those nights." „No. We agreed that we would never ever talk about it again." „Yes we did but I don't give a damn about that. Now tell them or I will kill you." Tears were threatening to spill over and she said in a bitter voice: „Please go ahead. I won't resist you. Just so that you know you already killed me down there but I know that doesn't mean anything to you. Honestly if you don't kill me maybe I will do it myself." Chakotay was massivly confused at this point but feared that Tyran would actually kill her so he spoke up: „Don't Kathryn. We need you." Kathryn looked with sad eyes at him: „You can captain this ship and get them home. You don't need me for that. I have reached my limit." Tears were streaming down both their faces and most of the crew were crying as well. „Don't you care about this crew? Don't you know what it would do to them? Look around yourself. Maybe we could make our way back but what about crew morale? What about me?" Tyran cut him off: „Don't worry commander. I won't kill her. All I want is that she talks." When Kathryn refused to speak the man got really angry and told his guard to keep his aim on Samantha. He then whispered into Kathryns ear: „We will do it like we did on the planet if you resist me I will kill this woman. Tell your guards to go back to the bridge and tell your crew to go to the corner." The captain was crying harder now and gave the orders along. Then she asked in a barely audible voice: „What do you want me to do?" Tyran laughed and said: „First of all you will call me sir again. Understood?" „Yes sir." The crew was shocked to see their always confident captain so broken and Chakotay was devastated as to how he could have been that blind. Tyran ordered: „Take off your scarf honey." She slowly removed it and everyone gasped. „Now take off your turtleneck." She complied and there were more gasps when they saw her bruised neck and arms. B'Elanna felt her anger level rising and asked with a voice full of hatred: „Did this monster try to strangle you?" Tyran answered for the captain: „Yes I did it quite a few times. This sweety is quite fragile. I almost killed her once but you haven't seen the best thing yet." He chuckled darkly and then: „Kathryn take off your undershirt." „Please don't. I did what you wanted for 5 fucking nights isn't that enough for you?" He slapped her square across the face and her nose started bleeding: „Don't talk to me like that. Take your shirt off. Now!" She complied and took it off. „Good. Now turn around so that they can see your back." She turned and there were more gasps. Almost the entire crew was crying heavily now. „Next I want you to explain to them what I did to you." Kathryn spoke with a shaky and reluctant voice: „What do you want me to say sir?" „Ugh fine. If you don't want to talk. Crew of voyager, does anybody have a question? For each 20 seconds that go by without a question your captain will get another mark. 20..19..18.." Chakotay spoke up: „Why didn't you tell me or Tuvok what was going on?" Tyran urged: „Come on Kathryn tell him." „ We originally agreed that neither of us would ever talk about it." „Next question." B'Elanna spoke up: „Why did you let him do this to you?" „I….well.." „Ugh just say it. She did it for you. For all of you. She sacrificed herself for your safety. Next question." The crew was too stunned to say anything. „Well the 20 seconds are over. Now Kathryn I want to give you a chance. I will give you 10 seconds to run. If I catch you….you know the deal. Start. 10..9.." His voice stayed with her as she ran as fast as she could. She ran down a corridor and ran to the next weapon harbor where she got herself a riffle. Kathryn head foot steps coming closer. She ran around a corner and waited till her enemy came. Tyran went straight ahead, Kathryn jumped out and shot him in the back. She then climbed into a Jeffries tube which she knew would bring her to