Oh! The beauty of a big nose!
Fools, all those who mock the dazzling, magnificent extension; for, stray in their own ingenuity, they deeply blunder matters through careless ignorance and reckless uncouthness.
How little they know about the ostentatious and honourable demeanour that such appendix bestows upon its proprietor, about the distinguished profile that its soft yet severe lines confer to the graceful bearer.
How sinfully they fail to notice the luscious and delectable olfactory acuity, the delicious aromas that their ordinary and vulgar snouts, incrusted on jaded masks, ignore with great unconsciousness.
How abominably they struggle to perceive the potency, the firmness, the vigour and the virility that only a few of blest possessors are able to display.
But, before all else, how outwardly they appreciate the concupiscence, the voluptuousness and the sensuality that such supplement grants, promises to the fortunate anima who regards the aforementioned exquisite diorama and succulent member.
Oh, dear reader! The beauty of a big nose, indeed!
A cheerful, triumphant laugh merrily filled the silence of her tiny, cosy flat and, carefully placing the still open newspaper onto her wooden kitchen table, Hermione grinned in sheer mirth.
He was going to hex her into the next century, but she couldn't care less. After his outrageous -but ingenious-publication about the pleasures and delectations that hazardous bushy, frizzy manes could offer only to the bravest of men, Hermione had promised to herself she was going to, eventually, get her sweet revenge.
The unmistakably louder-than-normal sound of Apparition broke the stillness of the early morning, and a gravelly growl coming from the living room reached Hermione's ears, voluptuous anticipation making her cheeks flush in utter delight.
"Why you little, impudent wench."
Severus swiftly entered the homely kitchen and, in a couple of energetic strides, he forcefully but tenderly dragged her into his arms, a striking sneer curving his thin, tantalising lips.
"Let's dive into the beauty of a big nose, shall we?" he lustfully drawled, long, elegant fingers tenaciously grazing her already taut nipples.
Hermione hadn't needed to be asked twice.