Do you remember lying in the grass?
We were there so long i swear i saw it grow.
– "I Just Needed You to Know," MAE
Quietly, Koushi sat on the grass, that spot of green near their school's baseball field, and allowed a bout of nostalgia to wash over him. He'd expected it, ever since Daichi had called him, Asahi, and Kiyoko to surprise Takada-sensei one Friday afternoon. Part of him had dreaded the feeling, while another part had anticipated it, and this was the part he held onto as he made his way back to Karasuno, ate lunch with his sensei and fellows, and did a mini-tour around campus.
He had to hold onto it, that fondness for his batchmates, that warmth from their friendship. Otherwise, the sadness would seep in, and Koushi did not like steeping in sadness like tea.
Not then, not now.
"Nothing's really changed much, huh?" he whispered to himself as he made himself comfortable, feeling that bittersweet aftertaste under his tongue for all the things he'd accomplished, the memories he'd stored up, the regrets that haunted him.
"Suga-san."
Koushi looked up and found Kiyoko in front of him, armed with her usual stern but pretty face. In the past, he might have flashed the former manager with his resident nice-guy smile he was popular for. But too much time has passed, things have changed, feelings needed to be pushed down inside the cracks and crevices of his heart.
"I thought you'd already left," Koushi replied, forcing a friendly smile at least, because he wasn't really expecting Kiyoko to be still there on campus when both Daichi and Asahi had already said their goodbyes.
"I had some business at the registrar," Kiyoko explained. "May I sit?"
Koushi nodded. Together they sat in silence, watching as students bumbled about aimlessly around campus, much like their small group sometimes did when they were still in high school. They sat for a long time, so long that Koushi would swear later he actually saw the grass grow.
"Congratulations again on your upcoming wedding."
He had heard it first from Asahi, who heard it from Yuu, who heard it from Ryuunosuke himself. Of course they've already congratulated her during lunch, and as Kiyoko demurely said her thanks, Koushi had to press harder against the tiny crevices in his chest.
"Aa. Thank you."
If Koushi were being honest with himself, he'd admit that he didn't really know how to feel nor react when Asahi first broke the news. After all, had his priorities not centered around his studies and volleyball back then, things might have ended differently for him.
Had he been braver, expressed how he truly felt — how he'd loved and admired her even before Ryuunosuke came into the picture — Kiyoko might be getting married to him instead.
But he didn't, so he's now left with nothing but fond memories and that bittersweet aftertaste in his mouth.
"You'll come, right?"
"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world. I promise."
Koushi smiled at the irony of it, how he could make promises now, now that they no longer counted.
Still.
"I'm really happy for you two," he said, and he meant it, too. Ryuunosuke was his friend. They both were. He really did want them to be happy. Even if it meant he had to keep pressing down at the cracks of his heart for a while longer.
Shimizu smiled gratefully, that small smile that Koushi had always loved.
"You should be happy, too," she replied.
Koushi laughed, feeling that he was given permission to let off a little pressure against his heart.
"Oh don't worry about me," he grinned, and finally, it felt like the same grin he wore back in high school. "I'm Mr. Refreshing. I'll always find ways to be happy."
Shimizu snorted, Koushi beamed, and together they continued to sit down and chat, so long that, yes, Koushi indeed saw the grass grow.
There she goes at the speed of sound
Yeah, there she goes
– "My Favorite Dream," MAE
I apologize for the angst. I'll write a happy Sugakiyo drabble next time. Maybe.