The Handmaid's Escape
By
Renee Caron
Offred eased from a lingering slumber. She could hear birds singing and voices in the distance. Her mind was foggy as her senses gathered stimuli. She felt a warm breeze and smelled the fragrance of something she hadn't smelled in a long time. What was it? Flowers? No, 'couldn't be flowers. Yes, it was flowers. Confused, but curious, Offred eased one eye open. She saw a canopy of bright pink flowers. She blinked and tried to process what she was seeing. She cautiously opened her other eye. There was a huge umbrella of vibrant pink Magnolias gently suspended over her. How could this be? Offred gradually sat up and looked around. She was in a city. There was green grass and blossoms everywhere! The air smelled of fresh rain and the sun that was tempting the clouds felt warm and comforting. There were people walking leisurely and freely out in the open. Women donned elaborate hats and big colorful dresses. Men wore top hats, jackets and breeches.
Offred blinked repeatedly, yet the scene did not change. What is this? Thought Offred. The last thing she remembered was being hustled through a door in the basement of the safe house to the underground femaleroad. She couldn't remember anything after that, except waking under a Magnolia tree. As Offred tried to identify her current location, she heard clip, clop, clip, clop and turned to see a horse-drawn carriage amble past her. She shook her head and blinked her eyes, trying to make sense of this. Where was she? And when?
At that moment, on the other side of town, Daphne Bridgerton and her mother, Violet Bridgerton, set out for the local dress shop to complete the final fitting for Daphne's dress to Lady Danbury's society ball. While walking arm in arm, Daphne listened to her mother encourage her to find a husband. Daphne found the whole business of being romantically matched to someone she barely knew annoying. She listened as her mother expressed the importance of a lady in society marrying well and promptly, before the eligible men were taken by other women. It was clear to Daphne how unsettling it was for her mother that Daphne was not yet engaged to be married. Daphne wished she could meet a man and marry for love rather than participate in the societal match-making game. Daphne listened respectively to her mother's urgings to make haste in deciding on a husband but daydreamed of having freedom. She wanted freedom to spend time with a man, fall in love, and choose to marry when the time felt right to her. She didn't enjoy the rigid social structure of society and the expectations that came with it. She wished she could be her own woman and make her own decisions, rather than have every decision made for her.
Meanwhile, Offred had begun to explore her surroundings. As she walked along the city streets, she realized she had gone… back… in…time? She had studied history in school and knew that it must be the early 1800s. But, where? Her mind swirled with memories of her past life, when she was in school with Moira, then of her husband and daughter, then of that horrible time in Gilead. She had thought it so surreal how, in a blink of an eye, her life transitioned from normal to prostituted prisoner. She remembered how she used to climb into the closet in her room at the Commander's house and try to mentally escape her current situation. Offred passed a man selling newspapers. She stopped and looked at one of the papers and there it was, The London Times, April 13, 1813! Offred couldn't believe her eyes. She walked in a daze, trying to contemplate where she was when she heard, "Look out!" She turned her head in time to see a large horse barreling down on her! Out of nowhere, a force pushed her aside and she landed in a heap on the side of the street. She looked up to see a friendly-looking gentleman offering his hand to help her to her feet, "Are you alright, Miss?" Offred took inventory of herself and decided she was, "Yes, thank you." She stood and submissively lowered her gaze to the ground, allowing her veil to block site of her surroundings and everyone in it. The gentleman who pushed her out of the way of the carriage was puzzled and concerned. He had just watched a woman dressed in a red habit walk bewildered into an oncoming horse and buggy. The man had a stabilizing hand on Offred's arm, and she felt frozen. One of the guards could be nearby, and if they saw Offred being touched by a man on the street… She trembled and wanted to wither into the ground. A crowd had started to form as Daphne and her mother came upon the scene.
The more the gentleman tried to ascertain Offred's well-being, the more she cowered and trembled. She could feel tears forming in her eyes. The men in uniform would surely arrive in any minute and send her to the colonies. Violet Bridgerton was instantly concerned for the fearful looking young woman and approached, "Is everything ok here?" The gentleman explained what had happened. "Are you ok dear?" asked Mrs. Bridgerton. Offred looked at Mrs. Bridgerton with eyes that were on the verge of a violent explosion of tearful fear, confusion, exhaustion and despair. Mrs. Bridgerton put her arm around Offred, "Come now dear; our home is just up there. Let's get you inside and we'll have a nice cup of tea."
Daphne and her mother escorted Offred to their home and were greeted by Hyancinth, Eloise, and Francesca. Eloise and Francesca said "Hello". Hyacinth looked at Offred standing in the foyer and said, "Why are you wearing that funny dress?" "Hyacinth! Where are your manners?" Daphne demanded. The Bridgerton ladies and Offred made their way to the parlor as Mrs. Bridgerton asked a servant to bring tea. Offred thought, "A Martha is going to serve tea to me along with the family?" Offred couldn't decide if she was unnerved by that or elated. She found the tea service and the company of the Bridgertons soothing to her nerves, but she felt rather awkward. Before the oppression, being invited inside for tea would have been normal. But now Offred was different. Gilead had changed her. Could she go back to the woman she was before Gilead? It was all too much to comprehend. Offred's face must have revealed her conflicted thoughts because Mrs. Bridgerton said, "Dear, is there someone missing you that we should send for?" Offred's heart sank as she thought of Luke and her daughter. Her eyes began to get teary and Mrs. Bridgerton chimed, "Well then, you'll stay with us for as long as you like. You look exhausted and I'm sure you would like to lay down. Dinner will be at 8:00 this evening, but I'll have a servant bring a tray to your room so you can rest." She then instructed Daphne to show Offred to the guest bedroom.
Daphne took Offred through the foyer and up an elegant, wide staircase. This was the widest staircase Offred had ever seen! She felt like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind! If Moira were here, they would laugh about that. Moira didn't like frilly, girly fashion and would probably make fun of Daphne Bridgerton, but Offred felt comfortable around Daphne. She felt a kinship with her somehow, even though they had just met. Once at the top of the stairs, Daphne opened a door to a remarkable room. Offred peered into the elegantly decorated Victorian room. There was a large canopy bed with lace curtains and floral wallpaper on the walls. Two delicate Victorian gas sconces adorned the walls, and four large windows overlooked the street below. The room was warm and inviting. Daphne bid Offred good-bye and Offred collapsed onto the feather bed which promptly enveloped her as if she were in a cloud. She immediately fell sound asleep.
The next morning, Offred woke feeling rested and refreshed. She had slept through the afternoon and through dinner! She sat up and mentally absorbed the morning sun and fresh air that drifted in through the windows. The air felt as though it was going to be a warm and sunny day. She reminisced about waking up on summer mornings, before Gilead. She used to love to feel the cool morning air that wafted through her open windows with the promise of turning sensuously warm as the day bloomed. Sigh. Offred felt at peace for the first time in a very long time. She sat up in bed and looked around the room. There was an outfit laid out for her on a chair in the corner of the room. She got up and tried on the clothes. It was easy to change attire, since she was still wearing her girdle. Offred looked at her reflection in the mirror. The dress suited her. It had a white bodice and undercoat with a ruffled blue overcoat. There was lace at the top of the bodice and on the sleeves. The dress boots were a bit uncomfortable which reminded her that Dr. Scholl's shoes hadn't been invented yet.
Just then there was a knock on her door and Daphne entered. "Good morning Offred. I trust you slept well?" Daphne's manners were proper and impeccable. "Yes, thank you," said Offred. Daphne surveyed Offred's appearance, "That dress will do just fine. But you mustn't wear that head dress!" Daphne quipped kindly. She reached for Offred's veil and gently removed it, then turned Offred to face the mirror. "Let's see what we can do with this hair," Daphne said gleefully as she proceeded to coif Offred's mane. "I fix Hyancinth's hair all the time and I'm quite good at it." Offred was taken with Daphne's demeanor because she was the epitome of feminine, yet there was a confidence that exuded from her with an air of great strength of character. Offred admired the delicate balance of demure with a sprinkle of danger that was Daphne Bridgerton. She liked her and felt as though they could be good friends.
After breakfast, Daphne promised to show Offred around London. It felt freeing to Offred to be able to interact with a female peer without having to 'remember her place'. She greatly enjoyed spending time with Daphne, strolling through London, enjoying the sunshine and absorbing the fragrances of Spring. Daphne introduced Offred to a few people along their stroll and filled her in on town gossip and the upcoming society ball. Offred was never one to gossip, but she was quite enjoying listening to the stories that melted off Daphne's tongue with precision and grace. Daphne and Offred paused at a bench in the park, "Let's sit." Said Daphne. Then, steering the conversation to Offred with the smoothest of segues, she said, "So, enough about this boring town; tell me about you." Offred choked on a boulder that suddenly found itself lodged in her throat. Images of blossoms, ball dresses and top hats were erased like an etch-a-sketch from Offred's mind only to be replaced with flashbacks of Gilead and her role there. The juxtaposition of the two worlds ignited horror and shame inside Offred. Offred began to tremble. She felt as though she couldn't breathe. It suddenly felt like it was 100 degrees. PTSD. That hadn't been 'invented' yet either. How was she going to explain her life as a handmaid to Daphne? A warm breeze brushed Offred's face and produced a delicate shower of blossoms that peppered the air and made her feel as though she was in the most beautiful snow globe. It was as though a protective bubble suddenly surrounded Offred and provided the courage she needed to begin reciting her tale to her new friend.
Offred began with her first life, as June. She described her mother, Moira and Luke with affection and an occasional tear in her eye. Offred hadn't spoken their names freely in a long time and she was unprepared for the abrasion of emotions that would be produced when she spoke of them. Offred didn't hold back and she explained what her life was like, in another place and another time. She described her affair with Luke; Daphne gasped, but remained captivated and curious. Narrating her tale of premarital sex on a park bench in 1813 London was risky to say the least. Daphne's knowledge of women who had relationships with men outside of marriage consisted of prostitutes; yet, somehow, she didn't judge her new friend. Offred didn't know what kind of reaction to expect from Daphne and she didn't want to ruin her new friendship; however, she was tired of choking back her truth and having her voice silenced. It was time to regain her voice, no matter the outcome. Daphne seemed to understand this. Offred knew that Daphne's time period required her to live a society-forced façade and stifle her own voice as a woman. The women's liberation movement wouldn't gain teeth in England for almost another century. Offred imagined Daphne living in 1960s America and could picture her as a powerful force in the women's movement. Offred felt as though Daphne was wasted as an 1800's debutante.
Daphne didn't say much but listened to Offred intently. Offred continued to tell her story. She explained the nuclear and political fallout and Gilead. Daphne's eyes began to water with genuine compassion and horror. Offred described her training as a handmaid and the Aunts. She described her first assignment. Tears began to fall silently down Daphne's cheeks. Offred described the Commander's house and how the Marthas hated her. She described how she longed for Moira, Luke, and her daughter. Daphne removed a tiny handkerchief from her glove and blotted her face. Offred finished with details of Nick helping her to escape and being taken to a safe house which led to the femaleroad. She explained that the last thing she remembered was being rushed through an escape door in the basement after the military had discovered the safe house. Offred paused, feeling relieved to have spoken her truth out loud. She was exhausted and glad that there was nothing else to explain.
Daphne gained control of her emotions and regained composure. She had so many questions for Offred. Daphne wanted to know what it was like to have an affair with a man and how Offred was able to do that without being ostracized by her family and her community. Daphne also wanted to ask improper questions like what it was like to have sex. Her mother refused to tell her anything useful on that subject! Daphne clumsily asked her questions and Offred answered honestly. At first, Daphne seemed uncomfortable and a little stunned by the answers that Offred gave; however, as the conversation progressed, Daphne became more comfortable with the discussion. Once Offred's confessions and Daphne's questions had been aired, the women found themselves enthralled in old fashioned 'girl talk'. Daphne told Offred about Simon and her feelings for him. She also described the expectations that society and her family placed on her with regard to taking a husband. Daphne described how her brothers were free to have romantic relationships outside of marriage, make their own decisions and behave however they wished without risk of tarnishing their reputations. While listening to Daphne, it occurred to Offred that Daphne was describing a double standard that was all too familiar to women across the globe and across time. In Daphne's world, women were shrouded in an invisible veil of sexual ignorance and severance to preserve their image of 'honor' in society. In Offred's world, handmaids were shrouded in a tangible veil of shame, branding them and sealing them in their submissive role of sexual servitude.
Offred suddenly jumped! Her heart was racing. She felt bewildered. It was dark. What happened? She thought. She struggled to gain her bearings. Then, she realized she was in bed; but not the bed in the beautiful guest room at the Bridgertons'. She was in her bunk… at the safe house. As this sunk in, Offred felt a rush of disappointment and despair. She longed for her new friend, Daphne. She longed to smell the fragrances of Springtime in London and feel the warm breeze on her face and through her hair. She longed to walk with a friend, as a free woman. She longed to wear something that wasn't an issued uniform. She longed to use her voice. She longed for self-respect. She remembered the feeling of being free. She remembered the feeling of independence. She remembered her strength. She remembered her voice. She vowed to muster her strength. She vowed to ignite her voice. She vowed to fight for self-respect. She vowed to fight for her loved ones. She vowed to fight for the Daphnes and the handmaids that came before her. This would be her revolution!