Insert the standard FanFiction disclaimer here. This story is based off material created by people who are much better at this sort of thing than I am, and they should get all the credit due to them for their creative endeavors.

This story is based off the Ascendance of a Bookworm Light Novel series. I am fully aware that this series has reached a proper conclusion in Japan. However, I do not read Japanese and actively avoid online fan translations as these are often inaccurate and difficult to read at best. I wrote this in between the conclusion of the J-Novel translation of Volume 3, but before reading Volume 4, so I know that much of what I present here is not canon. However, I had an idea that wormed it's way into my brain and I just had to write it down, so please, I beg you, NO SPOILERS IN THE REVIEWS, PLEASE! I hesitated to even post this because I just don't want to hear about how this is not how the series ends and all that. If you enjoy this for what it is, then please, feel free to let me know your thoughts, or if you have any other constructive criticism regarding story structure, characterization, etc.

Anyway, as always, enjoy.

-Alan

Ascendance of a Goddess

I felt as weak as I'd ever known. Unbelievably so. I felt drained; so utterly and completely tired that I knew if I let myself sleep I would never wake up again. Years ago, when I had awakened from the jureve, I'd felt incredibly weak as well. But I had also felt refreshed… renewed… alive. This was different. Now, there was a weariness about me that penetrated deep within, and it sapped me of everything. I knew that I was about to die.

But my mana was still strong. The flow of it in me and through me was greater than it had ever been. Or maybe I was simply more aware of it now. I was certainly more connected to the mana than I had thought possible. And not only in my own body - I could feel it all around me, in everything I could see and smell and touch. As my body grew weaker by the moment and my senses faded, the mana grew stronger, more present. More real. I could feel Ferdinand as he held me tight, his heart beating faster as he sensed the end coming; his breathing becoming more ragged and uneven as he fought to control his emotions. His mana was pulsing and starting to overflow. But he never let it show. His perfect nobleman facade never dropped.

He really is perfect, I thought. A perfect robot. I felt like smiling, but couldn't. Ferdinand had always scolded me whenever I let my mana overflow, and now here he was, Mister Perfect, losing control just like I used to do. I wanted to reach up and touch his cheek, to let him know that it was okay. I always knew that this day was going to come sooner rather than later. I was honestly surprised that I'd lasted as long as I had.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but I could do nothing about them. I didn't really want to, either. I was sad to be dying, but I had done almost everything I had wanted to do in this life. The printing industry was spreading across the entire country and soon would be taking this entire world by storm. There was no stopping it now that the Sovereignty was behind it. There were more books available than ever before, and more people who were able to read and enjoy them. My only regret was that I had not been able to realize my blissful dream of spending all my days reading… Oh well. There's always the next life, I suppose…

I felt my heart flutter and my breath catch as my tiny, weak, pathetic body finally ran out of what small amount of stamina and strength that it had. With nothing left to hold it back the mana within me burst forth from the box I had been forcing it into for my entire life. Unlike when I was younger and was suffering daily from the Devouring, I didn't feel like I was burning up or being consumed by an overpowering heat. Right now, all I felt was relief. I felt like I was finally about to be free.

Thank you... I wanted to say as Ferdinand's facade finally cracked, his eyes opening wide and his arms tensing as they clutched me even tighter against his chest. But my body didn't have the strength to form the words. I hoped my eyes said it for me. Then, almost like a switch had been flipped, all of the mana flew from my body and my vision went black.

. . . . . . .

And just like that I found myself in a familiar place. I could still feel my mana, though I was no longer aware of my body at all. It felt just like when I had been sleeping in the jureve. Back then, I remembered thinking that it had all felt very familiar, but at the time I hadn't remembered why. Or at least, I hadn't bothered to think about it that much, since I was so focused on breaking up my hardened mana and trying to heal my body. But now, I remembered.

This is where I first became Myne... Except this time Myne really was dead. Of that, I had no doubt. I was dead. Myne. Rozemyne. Urano. It didn't matter what name I went by, I was dead. Yet my mana was not. I could still feel it. I was still aware of it, more so than ever before…

... and now, without a small, frail, sickly body to hold it back, it had finally broken loose and was free to expand and flow like never before. I reached out with my mana and touched everything around me, as easily as if I was lifting my own arm. The first thing I felt was Ferdinand. I felt his grief, his rage, his sorrow. I could feel it as if it was my own. I could feel my small, lifeless body in his arms. I could feel the tears forming in his eyes. I smiled sadly. I had never seen him cry before. He didn't shout or break down or anything like that. Though his mana raged, his face remained as stoic as ever; but the tears still came. Slowly, but they were there. As he clutched my body close he closed his eyes and lowered his face to mine, and a single tear dripped from his eyes. And somehow, in that moment, I knew that he hadn't even cried for his own father, the former Archduke of Ehrenfest, when he had died. I had always known that he cared for me more than he let on, but now I knew for sure: he had loved me. And for as cold and calculating and frustrating as he could be, I loved him too.

And then I felt past Ferdinand. I could feel Eckhart in the hall outside my room, and could tell that he knew I had just died. His mana was surging; Its flow had become ragged, uneven. I suddenly felt a love for him that I hadn't known in life. I mean, I had loved him when I was Rozemyne, I guess. He had been my big brother of a sort. He had been reliable and kind, even though he had known that I wasn't really his little sister. He had investigated me in the lower city for Ferdinand and knew that I was a commoner daughter of a soldier, so I had never thought that he loved me as a sister. Not really. But now, feeling his mana react to my death, I knew that he had. That made me sad, but a little bit happy, too.

I thought of my real family and so I searched for them. And just like that I could feel their mana, too. Dad and Mom and Tuuli and Kamil... I was shocked. They were commoners. They shouldn't have had any mana. And yet, I could feel them just as easily as I could feel Ferdinand and Eckhart and Sylvester and all the rest of my noble family members. Their mana wasn't as strong, but it was still there, nonetheless. And they knew. Somehow, they knew that I was dead.

They were all sitting together at our table in the little kitchen, and I found myself there with them. Not in the real sense, like with a body and all that, but I was still there. I could see and hear them, and feel their presence. And I think they could feel me as well, because they all seemed to tense up a little bit when I entered the room. I gasped, suddenly overwhelmed with nostalgia. I hadn't been in our home since before I became Rozemyne; since that morning before Count Bindelwald had tried to kidnap me, almost nine years ago. They had all grown wonderfully. I don't know what had drawn my family together tonight, but I was glad that they were all there. I had once feared that they would never know if I had died, or that I wouldn't know if any of them had died either. The gulf between us had grown greater and greater after I became the Archduke's adopted daughter and it became harder for me to keep in contact with them. But I should have known that our bond was so strong that of course we would know. We simply loved each other too much for it to be any other way.

They were quiet, none of them touching their food. Dad lowered his head, covering his eyes with his hand. Mom and Kamil simply looked at each other with hollow eyes, and Kamil stood and took mom in his arms. Tuuli's eyes filled with tears and she daintily covered her mouth. Her motions were so graceful and fluid now that I could hardly believe it. She had grown so much over the years, from that awkward but reliable little girl who never even bothered to wash her hair, and now she was regularly visiting the noble's quarter and holding her own against the owners of all the big stores in Ehrenfest. Tuuli choked back a sob. My Angel. My Tuuli…

I reached out for her and held her in my arms. I wanted to comfort her, to let her know that it was going to be okay. That even though I was gone they, my family, were still together. And I felt her hug me back. For a moment, just a moment, I was surprised. But then again, I shouldn't have been. She was my older sister. She could feel me. She knew I was there with her, in the kitchen. No matter how big the gap had grown between us as I was forced deeper into noble society, we had always found a way to stay connected. Nothing would ever change that, not even death. We hugged each other tighter and I lost myself in the lovely embrace that I hadn't felt in so many, many years. And this time, I was never letting go.

Tuuli closed her eyes and I felt the hot tears roll down her cheeks. She let out a ragged sigh, like she was doing everything she could not to break down sobbing, and then smiled a little.

"I'm never letting you go, either, Myne. Never again," she said, quietly, so that only I could hear.

Tuuli…. I squeezed her with all my might. Her mana flared within her, roaring to life in a way that even I had never felt before. She opened her eyes and looked at our family.

"She's going to be okay," Tuuli said quietly, with tears in her eyes and an angelic smile on her face. "Myne's going to be okay."

Everyone looked at her, not sure if they had heard her properly. Mom furrowed her brow as she let go of Kamil, who took a step back before sitting down next to Tuuli. In my old seat.

I could feel them, their grief and sorrow conflicting with their concern and confusion over what Tuuli had just said. I could feel their love for me so strongly that it was overpowering. Even Kamil, who had always cried whenever I tried to pick him up; who had never even known me since I was taken away from him when was still so very little. So I reached out and pulled them all into my embrace with Tuuli, and filled them with all the love I had to give.

Their eyes went wide and they gasped as their mana connected with mine. I felt a blissful peace as their love washed over me. In the past, Lutz had always given me hugs whenever I was feeling lonely or sad. He had been my steadfast connection to the life I had left behind in the Lower City. It had been so very long since I had felt the warm, genuine touch of my family, or even one of Lutz's hugs. I basked in the warmth of their embrace for what felt like an eternity, and as I did I could feel all of the other people I loved reaching out for me as well. Or maybe, because I had been thinking about Lutz, I was reaching out for them. Either way, it didn't really matter. I could feel them as if they were standing right next to me.

Benno and Mark were in their office at the Plantin Company, working as hard as ever. I had known these two for so long that I could hardly remember a time when they weren't in my life as Myne. They had always been there for me and I knew that I would never have survived without them. I bent down and kissed Benno on the forehead.

He jerked his head up and looked around quickly. "...The Hell?" he said, clearly confused. And then, slowly, his expression turned worried, then sad.

"Is something the matter, Master Benno?" Mark asked, setting his files filled with paperwork down on the table. I kissed his forehead also. His eyes opened wide, and then a calm, peaceful look quickly washed over his face.

"Oh, I see," he said, smiling gently. "I will somewhat miss being dragged around by her rampages, though."

Benno closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Then he chuckled and closed the ledger he'd been working on. "Do you think that dying is gonna to stop her?" he asked, looking up at Mark with a sad but peaceful grin on his face. "It didn't stop her the first time 'round, so I think that we're gonna to be getting dragged around more now than we ever have before."

Well, that was kinda' mean, I thought, puffing out my cheeks. It had been a while since I'd felt Benno's thunder, though, so him being rude to me actually felt kind of good.

Mark furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean by that, sir?"

Benno shook his head and kept on grinning. "I'll let her tell you someday." He leaned back in his chair, sighing again. "Yeah, Mark. I think we're gonna be busier than ever."

Mark reached up and felt his forehead, right where I had kissed him. Then he lowered his hand and smiled, looking at his fingers. "Yes, you're probably right." He reached behind him and grabbed the folders off the table. "If that's the case then, sir, would you please look these over? They are the sales reports from the Plantin Company franchise stores in the southern duchies…"

I smiled at the familiar sounds of Benno and Mark making obscene amounts of money, and started looking around for Otto and Corrina. They were at home in Ehrenfest, in their apartment on the second floor of the Gilberta Company, having just put Renette and Jarem to bed. They were holding each other, and Otto was gently rubbing Corrina's belly. They looked so peaceful and happy that I didn't want to bother them, so I kissed them each gently on the back of the head and moved to the temple.

My attendants were as reliable as ever. Fran was sitting at the table going over the evening reports as Monica and Nicola tidied up the High Bishop chambers before going to bed. I knew that tomorrow was going to be hard on them, when they learned that I had gone. I bent down and kissed them each on the forehead, once again feeling the deep sense of loss and guilt that Gil wasn't here. Maybe now that I'm dead, I can finally tell him and Damuel how sorry I am? I didn't know if that was the way things worked in this world, but I had the feeling I was going to find out soon.

I looked in on my castle attendants and guard nights, all of whom were diligently doing their duty. Ferdinand had been the only one to follow me into my hidden room, and Rihyarda kept shooting worried glances at the door. Her mana was uneven and troubled, but even still she was making sure that everyone was getting their work done. I felt bad for her as I knew she would have wanted to be there with me at the end, but there was nothing to be done about that now. She stopped what she was doing and looked up as I entered the room. I stopped too, and after a moment her face clouded over and she closed her eyes, stumbling back and sitting on the bench at the foot of my bed.

Ottilie dropped what she was doing and rushed over. "Lady Rihyarda! Are you okay?"

Riyharda covered her eyes with her hand and held up her other hand to stop Ottilie. "Give me just a moment, if you would, please."

Ottilie stopped short and looked at her with loving concern. "Yes, of course." She kept looking at Rihyarda for a moment longer before turning away. As Ottilie returned to her work I bent down and gave Rihyarda a gentle kiss on the cheek. Her mana stirred, and even though she still had her face in her hand, I felt her smile softly. She brought her other hand up to her cheek and gently brushed the spot where I had kissed her. Then she slowly lifted her head and looked right at me. I could see the tears in her eyes, though her mouth was still smiling. It was not the false smile of a noble woman, but the true smile of a mother mourning a child.

"Thank you, Milady," she said softly, crossing her arms in front of her, and my heart ached.

I quickly turned away and found Lutz. I realized that I had left Lutz for last. He had known Myne since before I had come to this world, and because of that he had been the first to realize that I was not the original Myne. And yet, he had still accepted me, and had helped me in more ways than he would ever know. Even after I had entered noble society and we could no longer spend our days together, he had dedicated himself to making the things that I thought up. He had been a vital link to my lower city family, and I knew that if it had not been for him I would have collapsed into an emotional train wreck long ago.

He was sitting at his desk in his room at the Plantin Company. But he wasn't working, he was just sitting there, staring out the window. It looked like he had been in the middle of writing a letter, but had stopped suddenly. His pen had drifted across the paper and he would have to start all over because of how smudged the page had become. As I came into the room he turned and looked at the door, which was closed tight against the winter chill that drifted through the hallways. I could see tears in his eyes.

I came down behind him and threw my arms around his neck. He jerked back in his chair as if I had actually jumped on his back and he reached his arms up as though to grab at my arms.

"Hey! Take it easy there, Myne!" he cried out, jumping out of his chair and looking around the room. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. It had been so, so, so very long since he had called me Myne that my heart would have burst from my chest, had I still had a body.

Oh, Luuuutzzz! I cried as I threw myself against him again, just as I had done when we were younger. I've missed you sooooo muuuuch!

He stood there and took it, tears dripping down his cheeks. And then his shoulders sagged, and he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Myne, you big idiot. I wasn't ready for you to go yet."

But I haven't gone! I'm still here! I buried my face in his chest, just as I always used to. I felt his mana stir, and he made to lift his hand so that he could pat my head. Then he stopped, looking down at where my head should have been. He stared for a moment, then raised his hand the rest of the way to his own face and rubbed his temples. I pulled back, feeling his mana stirring in so many conflicting ways that I didn't know what to think.

Lutz…

He sighed and slowly sat back down at his desk, staring blankly at the wall for several minutes. I stood there, silently watching him. I had never been very good at figuring out what other people were thinking or feeling, either as Myne or Urano, but I could tell that he was getting pulled in all sorts of directions by different emotions that even he didn't understand. Eventually he sighed again, blinking back fresh tears.

"Myne, you idiot. I already cried for you once. Why are you making me do it again?"

I reached out and pulled myself close to him, gently this time. I kissed his cheek and wrapped him in my arms. But I wasn't really gone that time. And I'm not gone now, either. You still have to keep your promise to me, remember? You have to make everything that I think up, and I'm not even close to being out of ideas yet.

He closed his eyes and choked on a sob that caught in his throat. "Yeah, sure," he said, rubbing his fist against the tears in his eyes. "I'll make everything that you think up, no matter how crazy it is." He sat up straight in his chair and cleared his throat. "Ehem. So, I guess you'll need me now more than ever, right?"

I smiled and squeezed him even tighter. Yeah, of course Lutz. I need you more than ever. I don't want anyone else to make or sell my books.

He sighed and hugged me back. As we held each other, I thought back on the long journey that had been my life in this world, and I realized that I was now about the same age as I'd been when Urano died. And somehow, that felt right. I had now lived two full lives that I could remember. As Urano, I'd filled my days indulging in my own love of books, never caring much about anyone else around me. And while that life had given me a massive wealth of knowledge that had helped me survive in this world, I had since learned just how selfish I'd been back then. So, as Myne, I became Rozemyne in order to protect the people I loved in this world. As I found myself thinking about my Urano days again for the first time in ages, I began to wonder…

I searched for my mom. Not Effa, but my mom from Earth, from when I was Urano. I'd been an incredibly selfish daughter back then. I knew that I'd hurt her, even though all she ever did was try to love me as best she could. I found myself hoping against hope that now, since I was here in the familiar place where my mana could reach out and touch everyone I loved, that just maybe I could reach her, too. And not just in a memory this time, but for real…

Tuuli gave me a hard squeeze as she choked back another sob. I was still holding onto my family back in our small kitchen. I'd never let go of them, even as I'd visited all of the other people who had been so important to me in this life. Her touch pulled me back to them, and in that moment I knew that they were the ones who mattered more to me than anyone else. I'd had so many different families in this world, between Ferdinand and the temple, Karstedt and Elvira, and Sylvester and Florencia, and my friends at the Royal Academy. But this was my true family. These were the only ones who loved me simply because of who I was, and for no other reason. It made no difference if I was a rich merchant or a Blue Shrine Maiden, or even a noble girl. I belonged to them, and that was enough. Even when I had been a whiny, sickly, useless little kid who only ever cried about how unfair everything was, they had loved me. When I had finally stopped crying about everything and tried to make my life better - but instead usually just made a big mess - they had loved me. When I had impulsively joined the temple and put everyone's life in danger, they had loved me. When I had been ripped apart from them to join noble society, they had loved me. When I had committed my knowledge and resources to the Sovereignty in order to protect them from other nobles who would have exploited me for their own purposes, they never once stopped loving me. And even now that I had died, they still loved me. And now that I had died, I would never stop protecting them.

"I love you all so much," I said, praying a blessing with my whole heart. In my life as Rozemyne, I had given more blessings than I could count. But none of them had ever felt like this. I had no feystone ring for channeling my mana, spoken no prayer to a god or goddess. All I had was the love in my heart for the family that had loved me with all of theirs. In that moment, it felt as if all the mana in the world was rushing through me and into them, and almost instantly the room was filled with a brilliant blue light. The light grew to touch every corner of the room, but it didn't stop there. It broke free from the apartment and flashed into the night, racing out to touch everyone in this world whom I had ever loved. My family watched in awe as the blessing filled them to the brim with my love. They knew that I was still here, and I knew that they would be okay. I had finally come back home.

The End.