To be honest, being Ladybug has been extremely difficult these days.

I mean, not that it wasn't always difficult, because it was. But in the beginning, it almost seemed like a dream. Growing up every little kid dreams of being a princess, or a pirate, or a superhero. And somehow, I got lucky enough to actually get to do it… So is it even right for me to complain?

The truth is that it used to be pretty one dimensional. I would just be living my life as normal until someone got akumatized, I would transform and Cat Noir and I would defeat the villain…. And repeat. Over and over. It was exhilarating to feel like I was a part of something bigger than myself. I knew I was the saving grace of Paris, and it made me feel good. And what 14 year old girl doesn't want to feel special? Any other girl in the city would have killed to be in my position.

But it's been three years now. And as I've matured, so has the job, but I never would have thought I would be the guardian of the Miraculous, or that things would even be as bad as they are now. Defeating Hawk Moth - or should I say Shadow Moth? - was on my mind constantly as he became a bigger threat by the day, and I noticed a change in myself that I had never seen before.

What happened to me? What happened to the old Marinette I used to know so well?

I shook my head as if to shake away the thoughts too. It didn't make much of a difference, though, so I let a big sigh out that I felt I've been holding in for years and pressed my forehead to my desk. I was suddenly feeling nothing at all.

"Marinette?" I heard Tikki's sweet voice ask cautiously. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I said too quickly, as she interrupted my thoughts. "Just… overwhelmed a bit." I glanced over at the Miraculous box, not really knowing what to expect.

"It's time for patrol, isn't it? Don't wanna be late again, or else Cat Noir might get all gloomy."

I snorted. "He'll get over it as soon as I show up." I heard Tikki giggle.

I stood up and stretched. Time to get my head in the game.

"Tikki, spots on!"

I jumped up onto my patio; it was a beautiful evening in Paris. I stood there for a minute, taking in the brilliant orange and pink hues of the sunset. That was, until I felt someone land next to me, and then an arm around my shoulders.

"Did you miss me, M'lady? It's been a while." I could practically hear his smirk.

I turned around to meet Cat Noir's eyes, and of course, I was right. I gave him my famous stink eye and said, "It's only been a few hours, kitty."

"Which feels like forever without you."

I stood there in silence for a second. Cat Noir knows how I feel about him, but that cat will never stop trying. You have to give him props for his efforts, though.

"Come on. We have patrol to do."

The two of us swung from rooftop to rooftop, following our usual routine, even though there wasn't much to see. For such a gorgeous night, there was barely anyone on the streets. I sat down, taking a much needed break. Plus, I didn't have much time before I needed to transform back. Cat Noir sat down next to me.

"Beautiful view, right Bugaboo? Pretty romantic if you ask me."

"Maybe somewhere else. Or if I was someone else." I laid on my back, covering my face with my hands.

Cat Noir gave me a quizzical look. "You know you can always talk to me, Ladybug."

"There's not much we can say without revealing our identities though, is there?"

"I guess not." He glances off to the side for a second, as if trying to hide whatever emotion his face was displaying. "I wish I could tell you everything, you know."

I sat there in silence for a few minutes. It never really occurred to me until now that Cat Noir probably feels the same ways I do in his everyday life. I glanced at him quickly, when he wasn't paying attention, and studied his features. There was so much I wish I could tell him too. I wonder if we'd be good friends if we knew each other in real life.

Cat finally glances over at me, and notices my staring. "Like the view, M'lady?" He seemed suddenly proud of himself.

I gave him a sideways glance but said nothing. We sat together, staring at the sky in a comfortable silence that lasted just minutes but felt like hours. Our desolate knowingness gave us all the words we needed.

I felt my earrings ring. "Gotta pounce, my kitty."

"Was that another pun? You're getting better at that, you know. Better than me."

"No one can be better than you, Cat."

I was about to leave when I heard Cat behind me.

"Hey Ladybug, why did I meet you at Marinette's earlier?"

Shoot. I was hoping he wouldn't piece it together.

"Oh, you know, I was just… getting her out of a situation. With Alya, you know? Yeah. I was just making sure she got home safe."

I couldn't read his facial expression. You'd think after three years I'd be an expert, but Cat seems to keep me on my feet.

"Alright. See you later, m'lady."

And just like that, he was gone and barely visible in the bright orange light.

"That was a close one, huh?" I whispered under my breath and went on my way.