"Why are you doing this?"
That was the only question repeating in her mind.
Lucifer came over to Chloe's apartment one night, she was so happy to see Lucifer and that he is okay after Lucifer's father's unexpected entrance on Earth and the uncomfortable family dinner. After Lucifer was welcomed by the detective's blissful smile, he entered inside however Lucifer only returned with a small grin. The moment quickly faded away like dust when Lucifer tells her the cryptical truth as to why he has come. He wanted to break up with Chloe.
At that moment, it felt like time had suddenly stopped and the air froze coldly in Chloe's lungs making her feel like she couldn't breathe. Her puzzled mind was endlessly spinning round and round in confusion. When she asked the question, Lucifer's skeptical face paused before he answered back with a frown, "Because it's selfish of me to drag you along through my family madness."
"What are… But, you're not dragging me, Lucifer" Chloe bewilderedly shakes her head as she was denying his answer.
"I understand that you're worried, and you're scarred for me" she sedately enunciated, "But I'm worried about you. You're in pain because of your dad, and I know that you are not fine and-"
"But, you're not fine detective!" Lucifer raised his voice which shocked Chloe but not scares her. Curiosity was painted on Chloe's enigmatic face, as Lucifer continued, "You were never fine. You were kidnapped and hurt. Because of me."
"And, you rescued me" Chloe added after she watched his face fell and frowned. Reminding him that although she was terrified when she was kidnapped by a psycho angel, she was over the moon when her guardian devil saved her.
"But…" Lucifer breathed out.
"But, what?" she questioned while holding a perplexed look on her anxious face.
Lucifer's heartbroken eyes swirled down to the floor for a second before they raised up and stare back at the detective. Chloe watched how his face went pale like Lucifer was nearly sick and exhausted. His dry mouth moved and expressed in a quiet and glum tone, "But, I still can't do it."
"Do what?" Chloe questioned harder.
Lucifer gulped down his quietness and finally release his sorrowful answer, "You want me to say those words."
Taken back nauseatingly from his answer, Chloe deeply differs on how Lucifer uses the word 'want' when really it is what she 'needed.' From one bad relationship to other bad relationship, Chloe was sick and tired of falling for the wrong man and getting herself hurt by the end. First, it was Dan who lied behind her back, and Peirce, who was Cain and a criminal mastermind, used her to his own advantage. She thought that Lucifer was different, after looking pasted his Devil looks, Chloe accepted and loved every part of Lucifer. And hoping he would do the same, or at least say it.
"I chose to be here. I chose to stay with you. To support you. Because I still love you, Lucifer" Chloe stepped forwarded and her hands gently covered over Lucifer's. Her wet and blue eyes tell Lucifer of she wants to remind him of their love is entrapped in something special and wonderful. But, Chloe felt his rejection through his silent stare as she accusatorily breathed in an arching tone, "Why are you pushing me away?"
"Because… even if I ever said those three words to you…" Lucifer pitifully started. Chloe kept her focus on him, waiting for the ending of his sentence. But deep down, she could tell that it wasn't going to finish well. Chloe could see by the corner of his eyes that Lucifer had some water forming, as he ended, "…it would be a lie."
"No" her voice became low and almost breathless, as Chloe shakes her head again. Building a brick wall in her mind to block out his unbelievable words. However, that imaginative wall was quickly broken down when Chloe remembered that Lucifer does not lie.
"I don't know why but I can't say them" Lucifer explained but Chloe still didn't believe him.
"Don't do this" listening to Chloe's begs in a breathless whisper only widen the wounds on Lucifer's sure heart. He could see how her ocean blue eyes were starting to fill up with tears.
"I could see it that it hurts you deeply" Lucifer expressed his worriedness through his words, deeply regretting how he is breaking this remarkable and ingenue woman into pieces, "And, it gives me great pain to see you like this."
"Lucifer, please, don't do this again" she sniffed while uncontrollably, more sweet tears burst out from Chloe's eyes, slowly sliding down her red cheeks then drop down and splash on the cold floor.
Lucifer wondered what Chloe meant by when she said 'again.' Then it hit him. Chloe was talking about the night where he set a romantic candlelit dinner in his penthouse. First thought Lucifer was proposing to have a serious and more romantic relationship until he revealed that he only did it to show off Pierce. Lucifer greatly regretted it from the very moment when Chloe was in tears of sadness. He hated himself for making the detective cry, all because of his own selfish reasons.
Now, he's doing it again.
"I'm sorry, detective" Lucifer poured all of his sympathies through the tone of voice.
"Lucifer, what we have is real. It's great. It's special. It's…" Chloe became speechless near the end until she found the right description with a weak smile, "It's incredible."
Their eyes were locked on each other and Chloe could read through his unblinking gaze that couldn't agree more. It nearly made her smile but instead sadly scowled, "So why are you throwing it away?"
"Because you deserve better" Lucifer's answer was unsatisfied with Chloe's sadness as it was increasingly touring her heart in half.
Chloe could recall every time Lucifer advised her to find someone better than himself or someone else like Pierce. She remembered on that day on the beach where Lucifer listed down of what kind of man would make a good boyfriend for Chloe instead of himself. But Chloe didn't care about what he just said and kissed him because everything Lucifer said was actually everything about him to her.
Then, she commemorated how Lucifer made her feel then and now. Regaining that warm and thrilling feeling of Lucifer's love and affection for her, Chloe could feel it whenever he speaks to her, looks at her, touches her. Every time that happened, Lucifer makes her feel like she living in their special place, their own person Heaven Chloe doesn't want to lose that
"What if I didn't care? What if I don't need you to say the words?" Chloe asked which first baffled Lucifer but then it became clear to him. He quickly shook his head at her suggestion, but Chloe wasn't done persuading, "Look, Lucifer, you were right. Michael did get into my head. Because now I release that actions speak louder than words. And, from what I've heard, you sacrificed a lot for us."
Their minds were both flooded with different memories; Chloe evoked the night Lucifer left to return to Hell to protect his family and friends, but most of Chloe. Lucifer undoubtedly recalls how he died to get to Hell and his wings shielding over from Pierce's men's gunshots. He did all of that for one reason only, to save Chloe.
And, he wants to save her again from the pain.
"You are everything to me. You are the light that leads me out of my darkness. You are special, Chloe" Lucifer's gentle voice gradually calmed down Chloe's unsteady sobs while his warm hands curve around and hold on tight over Chloe's small hands.
Even though Chloe's face was melted with her sweet tears, in his eyes, Lucifer viewing at the most beautiful creation his father has ever made. Her hair is a wave of a gold river, her rosy lips are as sweet as candy, her blue eyes reflect the ocean's skin and at the same time sparkled like one of the night stars. Her mind is filled with wit and her strong soul is a pool of compassion and love. And Lucifer wonder, 'How could I ever deserve her?'
"But I can't let you suffer for me like this" his voice dropped from a tone of delight to a tone of soreness. Unhurriedly, Lucifer's hand began to slip away from Chloe's. She breathed out a sudden gasped when Chloe lost the warm touch of his hand.
"Lucifer" she whispered his name as it echoed the tone of loneliness as Chloe noticed the devil was walking back towards the front door.
"Goodbye" he mumbled in depression just before his hand reached to the cold door handle and twisted it. Opening the door and lead himself out, while Chloe was paralysed, frozen still as she watched her true love disappear from her view.
After taking a step out from the apartment, the cool wind hit hard on Lucifer's face, but he was already arching from his broken heart. Closed his eyes in shame, now he was cursed to view his detective crying. He glanced back at the closed door, imagining himself opening the door again and reserving everything back in time and rewrite the moment. While talking deep breathes, Lucifer reminded himself that it is for the best. After the detective's kidnapping, Lucifer feared of worse things that could have happened to Chloe. He does not wish any more harm on her from his derange family. But mainly, it's wasn't his family's crazy that was hurting Chloe, it was Lucifer himself.
Those three words were sharp as knives, making him choke them back down through his parched thought. Hard for Lucifer to even say one of them to her face. Lucifer couldn't look through the rough surface and see the reason behind it. Felling so stupid and a shame. He removed his gaze from the door and looks forwards, but Lucifer couldn't stop a single tear from dripping from his right eye. Words could not describe what Lucifer was feeling right, but deep down, even if I could say it or see, there was a special something he had only for Chloe. And, that was love. His lips were attached together, but his brown spoke from his thoughts, 'I love her.'
On the other side of the door, Chloe couldn't move a muscle after Lucifer left. Soon, she broke the stillness and walked over to the word. Her hand softly touched the wooden surface and she could feel the chilling coldness outside. Chloe could picture Lucifer knocking and coming back again, taking everything he said back, but she felt childish because Chloe knew that those moments only happen in made-up fairy tales.
Turning herself around and pressed her back against the door, steadily Chloe slides herself down until she sat down on the floor. Brought her knees up and close to her chest, resting her lonely hands on the pointy knees. Her wet eyes looked upwards as Chloe remembered how Michael kept on telling her that Lucifer does not love, that their special relationship was fake and untrue. Chloe closed her eyes and squeezed more tears out as she is actually starting to believe that Michael was right.
Chloe Bended her head down and rested it on her crossed arms that were laying on top of her knees. Her long, golden Within a second, Chloe began crying again. Thinking that she has lost him, she has lost her boyfriend, her best friend, her guardian devil. Her love.
Her half-open mouth moved, breathing out the repeating question in a whisper.
"Why did you do this to me?"