A copious amount of blood spurted from his mouth.

Looking up from the ground, her diminutive height towered over his crumpled form. His black suit was dyed red; some from his own blood, while most from his enemies. His remaining hand, broken as it may be, tried hard to lift his body off the ground.

Alas, without a pair of feet, it was but an insurmountable task.

"Natsuki Subaru," the 'Judge', as she liked to label herself, looked down on him in disdain. "The Devil, Murderer of Millions, The Demon Lord. I will now judge you for your crimes."

The boy, through gritted teeth, still managed to make a smirk.

"Fuck off, bitch."

He noticed how her eyebrows narrowed. She's trying hard not to kill him away. He knows just how much hatred this girl has for him…

How much hatred this world has for him.

Around them, the sea of fire he caused roared still. The burnt smell of flesh wafted throughout the whole clearing, the once green grass now turned into a deathly scorched earth. Several bodies, burned, mutilated or simply smashed flat littered the whole ground.

He wasn't sure how Pride remained unscath throughout the whole battle. No… He didn't even see her at all. Perhaps they were saving her as a trump card? They know they can't truly kill him; even Reinhard himself has run out of ways to do so. But Pride… she doesn't only 'kill' a person. She breaks them, takes away their senses, their freedom, their very self…

Yes. Pride was the perfect way to kill him. On how they managed to convince her, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, and Vainglory of all people to help kill him, he'll never know. But the battle was over, and he lost. Unprepared- no, he simply underestimated them too much. He thought he was already the strongest when even Reinhard couldn't harm him.

How ironic. He lost because he prided himself too much, and now he's going to eternally die from the hands of the Witch of Pride. He couldn't help but to let out a dry laugh.

"Do you have any last words, sinner?" Small as she may be, she truly did feel like the Reaper to him at this moment. Subaru doesn't fear her, but… he felt sad, instead.

"I have, actually." Subaru closed his eyes, slumping on the ground. "I-"

"Did you really think I would give you that much privilege, Devil?"

Before he could scowl at her for tricking him, he felt her lightly touch his forehead. His vision, already darkening from his un-healing injuries, split into thousands of pieces. He could also feel his whole body cracking, breaking into millions of shattered remains.

"Ghh… aaagh…" He tried to resist. He really did. "AAghhh… AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"

The imminent pain made him remember the days he was still a mortal. He thought it would only be physical. He didn't know that Pride also tortures the mind of those she judged… The feeling of thousands of teeth tearing into his flesh, hundreds of glass and ice shards piercing his body, and the replays of his most beloved ones leaving him one by one.

Otto. Garfiel. Petra. Ram. Beatrice. Rem. Emilia. And the countless others he knew.

The agony he was feeling was so excruciating that it dwarfed even the most traumatic deaths he's ever had. Elsa's… Rem's torture… the Great Hare's. They were all nothing in comparison to what he was feeling right now.

"AHHHGHH…! YOU…!"

He cannot die. And so, even though he's already just a million fragments of himself, he was still conscious, alive, feeling. The torture will never end.

"You!… you…"

His voice quieted, lowered. He knows how Pride- how Typhon's Authority works. The fact that he shattered, let alone into seemingly a million of pieces, proved that he, dubbed The Devil for the atrocities he did, still felt guilt.

A fact that one Witch of Pride couldn't accept.

"What…? I don't understand…" Typhon looked at him with an unreadable look. "You- why did you shatter like this? Why did you shatter at all?!"

If anything, she presumed he'd just crack a tiny bit. So little that it wouldn't even be visible to a normal human's eyes. He'd lay there in constant agony forever, with the 'help' of his immortality.

But this… this wasn't what she expected at all.

"..." Subaru's scream already died down by this point. Make no mistake, he was still in constant pain. It's just his mind was lost in thought regarding the forced memories he was remembering.

That day when Otto left.

That day when Garfiel tried to kill him.

That day when Petra lost her mind.

That day when Beatrice commited suicide.

That day when Rem killed her sister for him, and subsequently killed herself when she realized what she did.

That day when Emilia chose Reinhard instead.

'When… when did everything go wrong?' If he could still cry, he would. 'I loathed that I was weak, so I sought power from her. But why? Why did everything fall apart?'

He blinked. Once he opened his eyes, he was back in a very familiar place. A sea of darkness, seemingly clinging to him every time he moved. Just a few steps away from him, he saw her, smiling as always.

"Satella…"

In this world, his body seemed to always be the same. The tracksuit he wore from day one was back. Despite this, he's still wracked by pain from Typhon's curse, as the tears flowing endlessly from his eyes proved.

"Please, tell me. What did I do wrong?" He shakily stepped closer to her, madness visible in his eyes. "I did everything for them. I saved them. Why did they leave me? Why?"

"I love you."

She always just repeats those same words over and over again.

"I love you. I love you. I lov-"

"STOP LYING!" For a moment, he thought he saw her flinch. "I know… I know you don't love me! Not anymore!"

His scream silenced the witch for a moment. Her smile, now faded and forgotten, was replaced with a frown. "... I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Again!"

"I love-"

As Subaru motioned as if to hold her cheeks, he saw it again. That flinch. The slight step back. The pause.

Subaru gritted his teeth. He's tired of screaming. He's tired of everything.

'Have I really fallen this low? Even Satella, the one that I thought loved me the most…' He stared at her veiled face. Though he may not see her face, he could imagine. That disappointed look. Betrayed? Fearful? It has to be one of those.

Those are the only expressions he has seen ever since a year ago. Since the day he 'turned'.

Subaru's legs died down, sending him to a kneel. Head cast down, with eyes that have seen and felt despair, the white-haired boy could only cry and laugh to himself.

"Fuck. Fuck it. I'm so goddamn pathetic!" He covered his face with his palm, eyes visible through the cracks of his fingers. "Power? Immortality? NO! YOU WILL FOREVER STAY PATHETIC, NATSUKI SUBARU!"

What has he been doing all this time? He thought it was fine if he was dubbed the villain. He deluded himself that they just don't understand. That his beloved ones would understand him instead.

And he failed. Miserably.

The more he tried to 'fix' things, the worse everything got. And yet he didn't learn his lesson. He continued, and continued… until he was here.

Broken. Dead. Full of regrets.

'Should I have really exchanged Return By Death for… this?'

He stared at his clawed hands. Bony, elongated, nails sharper than knives. The back of his tracksuit burst- a pair of gargantuan webbed-wings, seemingly darker than black, spread out behind him.

And lastly, the pair of straight ivory horns growing on top of his head.

He looked back at Satel… no. She was Envy now.

Veil now lifted, she could see the beautiful face of this scorned witch. He noted that she was… smiling again? What's more, this doesn't look like the fake one Satella usually gave him nowadays.

He doesn't ever remember seeing such a beautiful smile in forever.

"My beloved… Subaru. Know that even if the entire world hates you, even if Satella hates you,I will always love you."

Subaru's tears, crimson in color, dribbled down his cheeks. He couldn't say a thing. No, he doesn't know what to say. He's a failure- a pathetic excuse of a man. How could Envy still love him?

As if reading his thoughts, the girl hugged him close, caressing the back of his head.

"You did nothing wrong. It's okay. You were simply trying to find your happiness, right?"

"Yes…"

"Mhm. That's all that matters…"

"Yes…!" His 'tears' flowed even more, voice cracking a little bit.

"There, there. You don't have to be sad anymore, Subaru. I'm always here for you."

Her voice soothed his pained mind. As if Typhon's curse was never there to begin with. He could feel his consciousness starting to fade, bit by bit…

"You can just stay here with me forever instead."

Yes. Maybe that was the right thing to do. He's tired… of everything…

"Yes…"

…

…

…

'Huh?'

Subaru looked down on his chest. A shadowy hand burst through his heart, right through his back. He heard the uncanny sound of something fleshy being squeezed, crushed, as he once again fell to his knees.

His shaking eyes slowly looked up above him, only to see the scornful face of the one he thought was his savior.

The contempt flowing from her was palpable; potent enough for him, with his senses and mind being overloaded with pain, to notice.

"You are not our beloved anymore." Envy's words felt like swords stabbing through him. "I took back the power we granted you, the power you oh so wasted. With that, your immortality is gone."

"Die."

Something snapped inside his mind.

Amidst the burning field, a collection of people could be seen surrounding a massive pillar of ice. Emilia, Reinhard, Typhon and Pandora stood still around the tomb of crystal, a smudgy silhouette of someone noticeable inside.

A devil by the name of Natsuki Subaru.

"... It's done." Pandora opened her eyes, her once outstretched hands falling back with her body to the ground. Emilia gave her a weary glance, still quite worried about something.

"Emilia-sama, please calm down. The Witch of Vainglory herself already confirmed it." Reinhard put a reassuring hand on the half-elf's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Reinhard-kun. It's just… It feels like it isn't over yet. We got lucky that Pandora managed to control his mind during his fight with Sekhmet-san, but…"

"Aww. Even my authority couldn't break him!" Typhon pouted at the sidelines, glancing at the silver-haired loli sitting at the ground. "Did you get my character correctly, Pandora-chan? Was I cool in your illusion?"

"Please, spare me with that. I did what I could." Pandora laid back at the ground, sighing.

The battle with the devil was finally over. He was nigh-invincible in a physical sense; his power stemmed from despair and suffering around him . A fact that isn't lacking considering what he did all this time.

Yet of course, everyone has their own weaknesses. His mind still functions the same as with others. Though Pandora's usual 'orders' don't work against him, she just needs to feed him false illusions and memories, something that she is quite proficient at.

The problem was how she was going to survive before she could even touch him. On how the Sword Saint convinced the Witches Subaru himself summoned to convert and betray him, she'll never know. At least he's 'defeated' now. Trapped in a tomb of ice, forever haunted by false and true memories mended together…

'Satella, his mind…'

"I'm working on it."

The silver-haired half-elf slightly yelled to the thoughts of her other self, frowning. Try as she might, the cracks within his mind formed faster than she could mend. He truly was falling into despair. He had a similar breakdown like this back when the White Whale drew near to her beloved… She begrudgingly accepted that Oni's help back then, but now…

'Can't we just sooth him ourselves?'

"His mind is closed off. Even I cannot enter it." Satella narrowed her eyes. "Pandora…!"She could only imagine what kind of lies that little cunt gave to her beloved.

If she left him alone, he truly will fall; even deeper than he's on now. She cannot let that happen. She doesn't care whatever he does in the physical world, she only wants him to be happy.

'Satella. Do it.'

"But…"

'Do it for him. We must make him happy. We love him, right?'

Satella thought about it. Return by Death's- as her beloved liked to call it-, is a very useful ability, yet even it has limits. She can only send him back at several specific points of time, and only once at a given time. What she's trying to do right now is beyond Return By Death.

'Return him from the very start. Return him to Zero.'

Will he be happy with a second try at his life? He probably will. She knows he has a lot of regrets. Maybe he will even turn back to his normal self. Not that she'll ever stop loving him. Never.

'What are you waiting for? Do it.'

"... Fine." Satella closed her eyes, focusing. She could feel the boy's confused mind respond a little, though still closed off and uncaring.

"I hope you learned your lesson now, Subaru. Power alone isn't enough to get what you want."

"Be greedy. Be envious. Have the enough drive to get what you want, and learn to keep them for yourself, alone."

=-End of Prologue-=

A/N: Hi, I'm your totally average and a little bit bored author, here to write quality stuff for the fandom… yeah no. This story will be about a fucked up Subaru (I don't use that word lightly). If you can already imagine what kind of shitshow this will turn into, yep, it'll be worse than that.

If you're curious, please, I welcome you to my story. Have some cookies, you're a brave lad. If you're already disgusted just from this AN and want to leave (if you haven't already), that's understandable.

Future chapters will be a bit longer, probably around 3k ~ 5k. I can't write anymore than that, too busy. Plus I'd die.

Cya.