AN: This story takes place in the 1980's. It's slightly based on some events that happened in the world at that time. It's very AU. I was writing it for my own amusement but I thought I could share it with you guys. Feel free to share your thoughts on this an the remaining chapters.
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Cold breeze drifts through the room, blasting the blinds against the window frame. A short violent whirlwind from outside threatens to engulf the space, its menacing hiss deafening against her ears, before she has time to shut the door. She pushes it with her shoulder, her wet boots slightly slipping in the floor tiles, until it closes. Silence again. The familiar 2:00 am silence she's grown used to.
In full autopilot mode, she locks the door, removes her beanie and leather jacket, places the keys on the top shelf and heads for the fridge.
It's dinner time, and she's starving.
She pulls out a plate covered in aluminum paper, and the usual bowl with the red lid. She's not picky, whatever is in there she's going to eat, no questions asked. Her mind drifts through the events of the day, her thoughts bringing up the things she has to do tomorrow, and the day after... Her muscles are sore and tired, and she's ready for a well-deserved hot shower. After a few spoonfulls, a sticky note in the kitchen counter gets her attention. She reaches for it in the dark, and reads it as in daylight.
Mom let me made the salad. Grade me.
She chuckles, and opens one of the drawers looking for a pen, and for another sticky note.
11/10 Bomb!
She places it beside the previous one, and finishes her meal sitting on the kitchen island. Later in the day she'll probably catch up with her classes, for now she just wants to sleep.
"Al?" A hoarse sleepy voice makes her jolt on her seat. The figure wrapped in blankets almost seems like a ghost waking up in the couch, and she squints in the dark, utterly confused.
"Ri?" She replies, gazing through the living room area, her voice low. "What are you doing awake?"
"I couldn't sleep". The woman stands up and begins picking up the sheets and blankets in which she was lying a few seconds ago. The steady hum of the fridge stops, increasing the silence in the room. "How was your day?" She manages between yawns.
"Okay, I guess". Alex moves closer to the couch now, her face half lit by the dim lamppost outside the window. She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "Damn Riley, you look like shit".
"Thanks". The reply is followed by a sarcastic smile, and its delivered with such tiredness that worries Alex. Before Riley heads back to the hallway, she reaches for her forearm.
"What's going on?" It's almost a statement. The kind of question you ask when you're absolutely certain that something familiar is going on. "You weren't trying to fall asleep, you were trying to stay awake".
"Alex". A fair warning to not press further, the confirmation of her suspicions.
"Don't lie to me". She continues. "I've notice the light going off in your room the moment I set feet in this apartment. The one night I don't, I find you on the couch with the eye bags of a college student. What is going on?"
Riley sighs in frustration, and throws her pile of blankets on a nearby chair. She rounds the couch and sits in the farthest corner of the room, with Alex following behind.
"I can't shake this eerie sensation that someone is watching me". She confesses, bringing her hands to her temples. "In the bus, in the streets... it's so subtle. I catch myself looking over my shoulder, constantly". She keeps her voice above a whisper, and Alex just stares, silent, mentally forcing herself to not interrupt. It's not the first time they are having this conversation, Alex has a clear idea in mind of where this is going to end, but she lets Riley continue.
"There's a man in a suit, every afternoon, standing by the magazine post near Rosedale. It doesn't matter how late I leave work, he's always there". Here Alex can't suppress an eyeroll, and leans back against the chair with a long annoyed sigh. Still, Riley continues even more determined.
"Two weeks ago I found this weird note in my purse". She pulls out a piece of paper from the pocket of her pajama and hands it to Alex who reluctantly takes it and glances it with furrowed eyebrows. It's a torn out page from a notebook probably, with the number 30 written on it. She hands it back to Riley. "I didn't gave it much thought and threw it away, but the next day I found another one in my laptop case. This time the number 29".
"Riley". Alex tries, this time is not a whisper.
"It's a countdown". Riley replies, her voice decidedly calmed. Not paying much attention to Alex's dismissiveness. "I did the math Alex, it ends on your birthday. We need to gather everythi-".
"Riley stop". Alex says firmly. She fixes her eyes on Riley's. "Nobody is chasing you. The man standing at the corner is probably a banker, or a lawyer, who gets out of work and waits for his ride by the magazine post. The numbers maybe fell into your purse, at the same time, while some of your students were playing treasure hunt or something". Alex widens her arms in protest, when Riley doesn't reacts the way she was expecting. "Sis, you need to stop this, or your going to go crazy. I'm serious".
"I hope by god that you are right Alex". Riley finally explodes. "I hope that these are just made up correlations in my head, because if what I think it's happening it's indeed happening, then we are in big danger. If were going to go, we need to go now".
"Go where?" Alex insists. Her voice comes out so tight, it feels like it's about to snap. "Tell me Riley, where the fuck do we need to move now, so you can rest assured that nothing is going to happen".
There's a short pause. Riley looks like she's about to cry, and her hands are trembling slightly. Alex's hates this. Seeing her sister this way feels like a violent shove into a cliff she's trying too hard to avoid, yet it seems like the faster she runs from it, her heels are always in the very edge. At the end of the day, the conversation always ends up the same way.
"You are so naive when it comes to Diane".
There it is. Alex can't tell how many times she's heard this sentence coming out of her sister's lips. And it doesn't matter, because it always triggers her in a way she can't quite explain. Her annoyance immediately builds up to anger, and she shoots back with the powerlessness that results from confronting your most cherished beliefs.
"She did nothing wrong. We are safe". Her shoulders are tense, her jaw clenched till the point it hurts. She doesn't want to go over this again, but at the same time, the urgency to defend her mother's name beats her. "The fact that you resent her, does not prove any of your suspicions". She shoots.
"You were so little Alex". Riley shakes her head repeatedly. "You can't even begin to understand the hell that she put us through. I saw that letter with my own eyes. Red showed it to me whe-"
"Red didn't knew shit". Alex's hand cuts through the space between them, as if to put and end to a discussion she doesn't want to have. It's late, she's tired, she wants to go to bed and not think. She shouldn't be here defending her mother's name from her own sister.
"Mom?"
A different voice echoes in the living room. So small and fragile that it brings both of them crashing back to reality. They turn around to meet the figure of the six year old girl with her teddy bear, looming just outside the corridor.
To Alex it feels like a bucket of cold water. She can't imagine what Riley must be feeling. She watches her sister trying to regain her composure. Eyes closed and one hand over her mouth, her fingers are trembling. Alex immediately regrets everything that has come out of her mouth.
"Are you and Alex fighting?" The question sinks her even further, and she hears Riley respond by pure instinct.
"No, darling. We were just..." Riley can't finish the sentence. She's too agitated and anxious to explain anything now. Alex can almost see the tears forming in her sister's eyes, even though Riley is behind her. She jumps in.
"Mia, sweetheart". Alex kneels down and stretches her arms motioning with her fingers for the girl to come closer. "Your mom and I were just having an argument about something we disagree on. Everything is ok".
Mia is hesitant for a second, but she soon runs towards Alex and embraces her in a hug. Her little hands envelop Alex's torso in the most sincere way. It's the thing that soothes her like nothing in this world can. She places a kiss on top of Mia's head, while Riley's footsteps fade in the distance. Alex knows how sensitive Riley is about this, how it physically affects her, but most importantly, how much she hates for Mia to see her that way. So Alex forgets about the argument and focuses her attention on Mia, who pulls out from the hug with a huge smile on her face.
"Did you liked my salad?" She asks, her hazel eyes shining in front of Alex. It's her innocence that always rips Alex in two, the way she can forgive and forget so easily. Alex wishes she could do the same.
"Liked it?" She lifts her from the ground, stretching her arms towards the ceiling. Mia's hearty laughter floods the room, vanishing any traces of frustration remaining. "I loved it". Alex states, enveloping Mia in one last hug before bringing her to the top of the kitchen island. She fetches for the note she wrote earlier.
"Here's the score I gave you". Alex watches how Mia grabs the paper and stares at it for a while. After a few seconds she looks back at Alex confused. "Why an eleven?"
"Because it was awesome". Alex replies, leaning forward with her forearms against the kitchen island. But Mia seems confused.
"I don't like the eleven on top of the ten". She confesses, her expression one of mild disappointment.
"No?" Alex laughs. "Well if the eleven is on the bottom then it means it wasn't perfect. And your salad was perfect".
Alex knows why Mia seems upset. She's just like her mother, when it comes to order and predictability. Things should be in a specific way, and please don't alter them, otherwise you'll make her angry. They are often too similar. But Alex is a little surprised that the score triggered her.
"I like it better when it says ten over ten". She admits, handing the note back to Alex, who bites her lips trying to suppress a smile.
"Is that so?" Alex raises her eyebrows, acting surprised. "Well let me fix that for you, Little Miss Perfect. Here". She tosses the unpleasant note in the trash and writes 10/10 in a brand new paper. Mia's face lit with a huge grin. "Thank you". She says, visibly satisfied.
"Now, come on". Alex puts her back on the floor and gives her a quick ruffle on her long brown hair. "It's too early for you to be awake. Let's go back to sleep".
Mia nods and walks towards the hallway, with Alex following behind. She hopes that by now Riley is feeling better, so they can all go to sleep. Alex feels bad for her sister. Something deep inside her tells her that Riley could be right. Nothing is certain in this world of theirs, and it might be a good thing to flee away from here, but its the significance implied in the act of leaving that Alex can't push aside. Running means accepting that Diane was a liar, and the lone thought its just a plain absurdity for Alex.
"Good night Alex". Mia's words travel right into her worries, bringing her back to reality. The brunette walks towards the side of the bed, and places a kiss on Mia's forehead, who's hugging her teddy bear against her chest. "G'night sweet pea. See you tomorrow".
Alex stands up and walks out of the room, carefully closing the door behind her. Riley is waiting outside, a lot more calmed. Alex sighs and runs a hand over her long black hair. "Look Ri, I'm sorry". She says, genuinely upset. "I just don't know what to believe anymore".
"It's ok. I feel the same way". Riley adds, looking at the floor while hugging herself. She seems so exhausted, drained from her energy by this ghost that keeps reappearing every time they dare to think a new life is possible. All the times they have moved, it has been because of Riley's insistence. Alex simply agreed, wanting her to feel safe. She can't understand why Riley chooses to believe Diane is in any way to blame.
"I'm not worried about me". Riley continues with her eyebrows risen. She points towards Mia's room. "It's her. If anything happens-"
"I know". Alex interrupts. She knows Mia is the reason for Riley's deepest concerns; the reason they've been running away for so long. The possibility of Mia paying a price for their messy background shakes both of them to their bone, and Alex is trying so hard to be reasonable and alleviate her sister's worries somehow, but right now she feels extremely tired. She just wants this to stop.
"Let's just wait a little bit". She tries, pinching the bridge of her nose. "If something very obvious happens, then we can head north for a while and come back here after".
She watches her sister take a deep breath, before reluctantly nodding in silence. Alex feels bad, but right now she doesn't have the energy to drag this any longer, so she purses her lips and heads to her room. It's almost 4:00 now, and her classes start 9:00. Sometimes she wonders if any of this means anything.
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The next week she finds herself in her girlfriend's apartment, a couple of blocks away from her own. They are in her room, each occupied in their respective tasks. Alex is hitting the books, Sylvie is rolling some cigarettes. Swirls of smoke escape through a upper window, just above the bed, and the whole room vibes at the rhythm of some 80s rock classics.
She's been dating Sylvie for almost a year, the same amount of time she and Riley have been living here. It has been her longest relationship in a while, and a pretty good one too. Sylvie is different from the other girls she used to date. She actually cares about Alex, beyond the sex. She's nice to be around, and Alex found in her a sort of stability that hasn't been present in her life for a while now.
"Alex did you hear me?" Sylvie's voice out-competes the music, reaching Alex. She turns her head slightly, not taking her eyes away from the notebook. "What?"
"I asked if you already talked to your boss about me?" Alex straightens and swirls on her chair, her eyebrows raising as if she just remembered. She sighs apologetically. "Babe. I'm so sorry".
"It's been a week".
"I know. I promise I'll talk to him today". She goes back to her books.
Sylvie squints for a second, before extinguishing her cigarette and walking towards Alex. She turns down the music. Her hands start to massage Alex's shoulders and eventually Alex gives in and drops her pen and notebook aside, enjoying Sylvie's thumbs on her neck and muscles.
"Are you ok?" She hears her ask, real concern trapped in her voice. Alex really loves this about Sylvie, because she knows the question is sincere and comes out of a caring heart. But right now she doesn't want to talk about anything. She needs to finish her homework and head to work.
"I'm fine". She replies, hoping her answer convinces Sylvie not to push her.
"You've been off this past week". Sylvie continues. "Are you sure everything is fine?"
Alex wishes she could neglect everything, and go on with her days as if nothing was going on, but she knows her girlfriend, and there's only so much bullshit she can tell and make it sound believable. Besides, Sylvie already knows some things about Alex's turbulent family dynamics, although not everything.
"Is it Riley again?" Sylvie asks leaning forward to catch Alex's face expression. Her short brown hair grazes Alex's neck, before she kisses it shortly.
"Yes". Alex confesses, feeling a little bit exposed. It's not always that she talks about this stuff, and it feels weird to even admit it. She's not sure how Sylvie is going to react if she knows that they'll probably end up leaving the city. "It's no big deal". She purposefully downplays it to keep Sylvie at bay.
"I don't believe you. You have written... what?" She takes a quick look at Alex's notes. "Two pages in the almost three hours you've been here?"
Alex remains silent, and yanks the papers out of Sylvie's hands. "It's a difficult assignment. What do you expect?"
"Not for you is not difficult. You're the smartest one in that class, that I know for sure". Sylvie grabs Alex's T-shirt and pulls her in the direction of the bed. Alex lets herself be lead, and a second later they are both laying on the sheet covers, Alex with her eyes fixed on the ceiling, and Sylvie looking at Alex.
"Tell me what's going on?" She insists. "I don't like when you are all silent and gloomy".
"I'm not gloomy". Alex retorts, placing her hands on her nape. "I'm just tired, that's all".
"Of Riley?"
"No". Alex frowns, as if Sylvie had said something completely out of the mark. There's a short pause before she continues.
"It's not her that bothers me". She finally says. "It's the uncertainty of it all. Having to live your life in a perpetual race in which you don't even know what you are running from. I'm just tired of running, that's it".
Sylvie stares at her wide-eyed, as if she doesn't know how to respond to that. Alex doesn't blame her. She's been carrying this burden for so long, she doesn't even remember not carrying it. She sighs.
"Alex, baby. I think you have a lot on your plate right now." Sylvie turns sideways, facing Alex and resting her head on her left hand. "You are studying almost full time, plus you have been working on that graveyard shift for six months. I'm not sure what else Riley wants from you".
"It's not that she wants anything from me". Alex says, frustrated because of how little she can tell without freaking her girlfriend out, or anybody for that matter. "She just worried that someone from our past might find us".
"What do you mean? Like a boyfriend or something?"
"More like a creditor".
"A creditor?" Sylvie sits straight now, looking intently at Alex. "Is this what this is all about? That you guys owe money? Alex, I can help you with that. My uncle, he's a lawyer. I can give him a call and set an appointment for-"
"It's not about money". Alex snaps.
It comes way louder than she intended. She watches Sylvie's face expression fall, before the shorter woman gets up from the bed.
"Sylvie, I didn't...". Alex runs both hands over her face, feeling completely lost. Then goes right after her, apologetically. Her hand reaches for Sylvie's, and she kisses it softly. "I'm sorry. Ok? I don't really want to talk about it right now. Can we just...?".
There's a pause. Sylvie just stays there, apparently waiting for Alex to finish her sentence. Alex leans forward instead, and kisses her, wrapping her hands around Sylvie's waist. Her girlfriend immediately responds, and kisses her back. It's the way she tells Alex she forgives her, and Alex is grateful. When it comes to feelings, she's not very good at expressing them right.
Eventually Alex pulls away, much to Sylvie's disappointment. "I got to go to work". She states, glancing at the clock in the wall. "I'll see you later".
Sylvie nods and goes back to the cigarette table. She tosses Alex a pack. "I don't know how you do it Alex". Her lighter flicks a few times before igniting. "I just don't know".
Alex bites the inside of her mouth, and starts putting all her stuff in the backpack. Her own job at the warehouse is a constant reminder of the life she has willingly chosen to avoid attention. But it's getting harder everyday to keep such a pace night in and night out, for months now. There she can agree with Sylvie. She doesn't know how she do it. She just knows it needs to be done.
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It's almost 2:00 am.
Riley is laying on her bed with all the lights off, but very much awake. On her last argument with Alex she learned that her little sister was picking up the light cue every time she returned from work, so she doesn't turn it on anymore, to not worry her. Nevertheless, she waits.
Sideways on her bed, her mind replays the conversation they had about a week ago. It doesn't matter how many times they argue, she has never managed to get Alex change her mind. Riley understands why. Alex is hurting, deep beneath her challenging facade. And it doesn't matter what Riley says because this is something that she needs to realize on her own.
In Alex's mind, Diane was the perfect mother, who died as a hero trying to protect Riley and her. But she's the youngest, and she doesn't remembers the details of the events as Riley does. Alex has idealized Diane, putting her on a throne that for Riley, she doesn't deserves. Not in the slightest.
Still, Alex has always respected Riley. Every time she's decided that is time to flee from a place, Alex agrees and let's Riley decide what their next move is going to be. Those decisions have been rather abrupt in the past few years, because of Mia. The birth of her daughter has sent her in a state of constant worry and anxiety over the fact that these people might come to harm Mia in revenge about what happened with Diane.
This is what truly frightens her.
It's safe to say they're not living anymore. They ceased to live the moment Riley found out about the letter. A letter she read from the hands of one of Diane's partners, Red, the day they found out about Diane's death. It was only Riley who had the chance to read it. Alex was six by that time, and she was too little, and too confused about Diane not coming back again. Immediately after showing it to her, Red burned the letter and disappeared. Her own life was in danger.
So Riley has never been able to fully convince her sister of the contents of the letter. Alex's pain prevents her from acknowledging it.
Footsteps in the hallway outside bring her back from her thoughts.
She sighs, relieved that Alex has made it home again. Her ears pick up the sound of fumbling keys, among the violent wind howling menacingly. It's the middle of the winter and the weather is terrible. There's a loud thump. A few seconds later she hears the footsteps retreating on a distance. She stays quiet, squeezing the blanket with both hands. Maybe Alex forgot something in the car. A couple of minutes pass.
Silence. Just the eerie whistle of the wind, trying to infiltrate through the windows. Riley tries to remain calmed, although she's starting to get angry at her sister for not coming in already. It's her decision to stay awake, but still.
When another ten minutes go by and Alex doesn't return, Riley gets up and carefully walks towards the living room. She feels dumb, waiting for her sister like a worried mom with a rebel teenager. Everything is dark, just a faint pool of light coming out of Mia's room and into the hallway. The door is closed. The light outside is off.
Riley finally approaches the kitchen window, and takes a look outside. She can barely see the narrow staircase that leads to the upper floors. "Damn it, Alex". She musters beneath her breath, before deciding to open the door and see if Alex is indeed in her car.
But when she unlocks the door and pushes it, she meets a subtle resistance. Then her eyes fall to the ground. It takes her a moment to focus on what looks exactly like Alex's boots. Riley's heart almost reaches her throat. "Alex!" She calls, desperately squeezing outside to confirm that it is indeed the figure of her sister, laying lifelessly on the floor. The initial shock doesn't let her react properly, and she slowly kneels beside her sister covering her mouth with both hands, with a thousand thoughts running through her mind.
Alex has a blindfold, and blood is coming out of her head, from a cut just above the temple. Her jeans are ripped and stained with mud, like she'd been struggling in the floor with someone. But the must bizarre thing, is that she has a paper stapled to her shirt with the number 8, written on it. Riley feels like she's about to throw up.
"Dear god". She cries, frantically searching for a pulse with her trembling hands. The next breath she lets out feels like a million pounds leaving her body. Alex is alive.
Making sure nobody else is outside, Riley removes the blindfold, places her forearms below Alex's armpits and starts dragging her inside. Her head is tilted downwards, her chin pressed against her chest. It's something out of Riley's worst nightmares.
When Alex is completely inside, she carefully places her head on the floor before heading outside to close and lock the door. She closes all the windows too. Then she rushes back to Alex's side, cradling her face in her hands. "Alex". She calls, shaking her head slightly. "Al, can you hear me". The younger sister still doesn't respond. "Alex!"
"Oh my god". An indescribable anxiety starts engulfing Riley. There, in the middle of their own living room she breaks down in quiet tears, unable to hold control them any longer. A quick glance towards the hallway let's her know that Mia is still sleeping, and for that she's glad. She doesn't need to see this. She grabs Alex's hand, and presses it against her own chest, just waiting.
After what felt like an eternity, Alex lets out a groan.
Riley jumps up, moving closer to her sister. "Al. Alex. Can you hear me?" She asks, resting her palm against Alex's right cheek. Her heart is hammering against her rib cage, and her sweat is ice cold.
Eventually, very slowly, Alex's eyelids open, and it seems like they weight a thousand pounds. Riley lets out another breath she didn't knew she was holding.
"Hey". Riley insists. But the younger sister seems disoriented, and her eyes vaguely roam around as if trying to make sense of where she's at. Eventually they focus on Riley's. "Ri?" It comes out hoarse and throaty, but to Riley it feels like the best sound in the world.
"It's ok Al, you are fine. You are home". Riley tries to give her sister a reassuring smile, but it looks more like the grimace of someone who's about to cry. She carefully helps Alex straighten to a sitting position, watching her wince in pain in the process. "Can you try and stand up?" Riley asks, still supporting Alex with a hand on her back. The younger sister nods.
Riley lifts her up, supporting Alex's body against her own. She sways slightly, and her steps are clumsy, leaning heavily on Riley to remain standing. "It's ok. Take your time". Riley helps her reach the couch, where she eventually sits down letting out a heavy groan. Then she heads to the kitchen, bringing back a small wet towel, which she places over Alex's cut on her head. Riley kneels in front of her, studying her face and eyes to see if she should call an ambulance.
"Alex, what happened?" She asks, looking at the number 8 still dangling on Alex's chest. She watches how Alex brings her hand to her head, and then stares at it for a few seconds, watching it come back stained red. The younger girl looks puzzled, and this increases Riley's worry.
"Do you remember what happened, Al?". Riley is in the verge of tears, but she needs to know what they did to Alex tonight.
"I don't know". Alex finally says, looking at the note on her chest with a pained expression on her face, as if the mere act of trying to remember hurt. She lifts her head again, and stares at Riley, who's still putting pressure on the small wound. "There were some guys". She adds, leaning forwards and pushing her sister's hand aside, acting annoyed. This seems more like the Alex Riley's used to.
"What did they do to you?" Riley stands up, and points at Alex's dirty jeans. "Why is there mud on your pants?"
Alex's gaze drifts to her jeans, which are almost all-covered in a dark brown mud, most of it dry by now. She looks at them for a second, before covering her face with both hands. She stays like that for a little while. Then her shoulders start shaking slightly, and she finally breaks down in quiet sobs.
Riley feels her own heart sinking, because she knows Alex isn't crying for the vicious blows she apparently received. It's the significance of the threat, which undoubtedly proves what Alex has been trying to ignore for almost her whole life. There is a deadline. The letter was true. Diane did sold them.
"I'm sorry". Alex says, her voice breaking between sobs. She bites her bottom lip trying to stop the tears, but they just keep coming down. It's like they've been trapped inside for so long, just waiting. "I'm so sorry". She repeats, her face strained, her breathing short and shallow.
"Don't be". Riley says, sitting beside her sister and placing her arm around her shoulder while she cries. It breaks her heart to see Alex this way. She knew this day would eventually come, but she never imagined it would need for something like this to happen for Alex to finally come to understand what they are dealing with.
A few more minutes pass, and Alex has managed to calm down a little. She doesn't say anything else, and remains silent, resting her head against Riley's shoulders. Riley knows that what comes next will be the hardest part for her sister, as she tries to adjust to a reality entirely different than what she's believed her whole life. But they don't have much time to dwell on this. They need to move, and they need to move fast.
"Come on". Riley stands up, offering Alex a hand to do the same. "Let's get you cleaned. We need to get out of here. They'll be expecting us to make a move now, but we'll leave everything ready and leave tomorrow morning".
Alex just nods, and with tired steps she follows Riley into her room. The clock is ticking fast.
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AN: So, what do you guys think? Interesting? Cringe? Good? Boring?
No filters, I really want to know your thoughts.